- Nick Charles: You see, when it comes to words like that, an illiterate person...
- Polly Byrnes: Whaddaya mean "illiterate"? My father and mother were married right here in the city hall!
- Nick Charles: [Leans toward Nora] Having a good time, Mrs. Charles?
- Nora Charles: It couldn't be better.
- [Last line, as Nick gapes at Nora knitting baby boots]
- Nora Charles: And you call yourself a detective.
- Nick Charles: Have you made any New Year's resolutions?
- Nora Charles: Not yet. Any complaints or suggestions?
- Nick Charles: A few.
- Nora Charles: Which?
- Nick Charles: Complaints.
- Nora Charles: All right shoot.
- Nick Charles: Well, you don't scold, you don't nag, and you look far too pretty in the mornings.
- Nora Charles: All right, I'll remember: must scold, must nag, mustn't be too pretty in the mornings.
- Henry the Butler: [Elderly butler has an eccentric way of walking] Walk this way, Sir.
- Nick Charles: Well, I'll try.
- Nora Charles: I love to watch you sleep. You look so cute. Nicky, have you any pictures of yourself taken as a baby?
- Nick Charles: No.
- Nora Charles: Aww, that's a shame. I want to see what you looked like.
- Nick Charles: I'll have some taken in the morning.
- Selma: Good night Nick, and thanks so much for everything. I want to kiss you.
- [Looks at Nora]
- Selma: May I?
- Nora Charles: Go right ahead. But I warn you, it's a hard habit to get out of.
- Nora Charles: I suppose we ought to decide where we're going.
- Nick Charles: Why, do you care?
- Nora Charles: No, but I haven't any clothes.
- Nick Charles: Well, what's the difference? Saves you the trouble of packing. And I don't need anything in the world, darling, but you... and a toothbrush.
- Nora Charles: Aunt Katherine wants to speak to you.
- Nick Charles: What have I done now?
- Nora Charles: Do you know why Robert wasn't here tonight?
- Nick Charles: Sure, because he's smart.
- Nora Charles: I'm not fooling, darling, he's disappeared.
- Nick Charles: That's swell. Now if we could just get Aunt Katherine to disappear...
- Nick Charles: How do you do? I'd like to get this gal out of the woman's tank.
- Prison Matron: Oh, yes. Is this the one that was doing the fan dance?
- Nick Charles: Fan dance?
- Prison Matron: Yes.
- Nick Charles: Well, if it is, she's been holding out on me.
- Nora Charles: Do you think she'll really take him home?
- Nick Charles: She'll take him somewhere, I'm sure of that.
- Nora Charles: What do you mean?
- Nick Charles: I mean, did I ever tell you that you're the most fascinating woman this side of the Rockies?
- Nora Charles: Wait till you see me on the other side.
- 'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: Have you ever been thrown out of a place, Mr. Charles?
- Nick Charles: Let's see. How many was it up to yesterday, Mrs. Charles?
- Nora Charles: Well, uh, how many places were you in, Mr. Charles?
- Nick Charles: Oh, you got ideas, huh?
- Nora Charles: Very definite ideas.
- Nick Charles: I was afraid so.
- Nora Charles: I'm going to lock the door, plug the bell, cut the telephone and crawl into bed for a month!
- Nick Charles: Oh, Nora, you're my favorite woman.
- Lum Kee, Lichee Club Co-Owner: You bet you. You catch my brother. You play trick on him.
- Nick Charles: No play trick on him, no catch him. You bet you. Is he still in?
- Lum Kee, Lichee Club Co-Owner: You bet you. For five years more.
- Joe: Champagne, boys.
- Thug with Joe at Nick's Table: Me too.
- Nick Charles: Sure, Champagne! Willie?
- Willie the Weeper: Scotch - with a Champagne chaser.
- Nora Charles: Likewise.
- Nick Charles: With these earphones, Anderson could hear everything that went on down in your place.
- Polly Byrnes: Everything?
- Nick Charles: Everything.
- Polly Byrnes: Holy Smoke!
- Nick Charles: Nice work Lum.
- Nora Charles: And you sent his brother up.
- Lum Kee, Lichee Club Co-Owner: Sure. Mr. Charles sent him up. Number one detective. I don't like my brother. I like his girl. I'm your friend. You betcha!
- Nick Charles: Good morning!
- Lieutenant Abrams, San Francisco Homicide Squad: Good evening.
- Nick Charles: Uh, yes, good evening. Will you have some breakfast?
- Lieutenant Abrams, San Francisco Homicide Squad: Thanks, I just had dinner.
- Nick Charles: I give up.
- Nick Charles: Hello, Dancer. Come in, come in.
- 'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: Once a gumheel, always a gumheel, huh? Well, I don't like gumheels, but I thought you'd quit it when you married a pot of money.
- Nora Charles: Did he call me a pot?
- Nick Charles: Family dinner I suppose. Aunt Katherine, Uncle Willie, Cousin Emily
- Nora Charles: Aunt Hattie, Cousin Lucius, Uncle Thomas. Pour me one too
- David: I've got six bullets in this gun. One for her, one for myself. One for myself, and the rest for anyone who tries to stop me.
- Nick Charles: [In a Sunset Limited sleeping car] Darling, don't you want to pack this?
- [Hands Nora her silk negligee]
- Nora Charles: How they can expect a woman to still have any mystery left for a man after living in a place like this for three days, I don't know.
- Nick Charles: Darling, you don't need mystery. You've got something much better. Something more alluring.
- Nora Charles: What?
- Nick Charles: Me.
- Nora Charles: You?
- Nick Charles: Nora, darling, sugar, Happy New Year!
- Nora Charles: Nicky, you're bleeding.
- Nick Charles: Hmm? Oh, yes, yes. I little accident.
- Nora Charles: [Nora uses a handkerchief to wipe off the lipstick from Nick's face] I know, this New Year's traffic is terrible, isn't it?
- Nora Charles: Well, how you gonna do it?
- Nick Charles: I haven't the faintest idea. I'm just gonna look and listen and pray that somebody makes a slip. Just one slip.
- Polly Byrnes: Whaddya mean 'illiterate'? My father and mother were married right here in the city hall!
- Nora Charles: [Talking on the phone to her Aunt] You see, it's New Year's Eve, Aunt Katherine.
- Nick Charles: The old battle axe.
- Nora Charles: Shut up! Excuse me, Aunt Katherine, I was talking to the dog.
- Nora Charles: Come on, darling, it will be like old times - when we were all engaged.
- Nick Charles: Yes, before we made any mistakes.
- Nick Charles: What have you got to offer Harold?
- Harold: There's Tim McCrumb's place and there's the Lichee and there's the Tenderfin.
- Nora Charles: Is the Lichee a Chinese restaurant?
- Harold: Yessim.
- Nick Charles: Me no lookie for Robert.
- Nora Charles: The Lichee.
- Thug with Joe at Nick's Table: I don't care who's wife she is. I don't like a dame that gets noisy after she's had a few sniffles.
- Detective Arresting Nora and David: Throw her in the fish tank.
- Nora Charles: What? What?
- Detective Arresting Nora and David: Throw her in the fish tank!
- Polly Byrnes: Now don't get so fresh! Take your hands off me!
- San Francisco Policeman: All right, sister, I just wanted to see if you had a gun.
- Polly Byrnes: That's a new name for it! Just wait till you boys ask me to do another dance for you!
- Polly Byrnes: Say, is that Mrs. Landis?
- Nick Charles: Yep, want to meet her?
- Polly Byrnes: No thanks, I've had enough of this family.
- Nick Charles: Polly, Phil had a key to your apartment, hadn't he?
- Polly Byrnes: Yeah.
- Nick Charles: And so had Dancer?
- Polly Byrnes: Yeah!
- Nick Charles: What about Lum?
- Polly Byrnes: No, of course not!
- Aunt Katherine Forrest: What do you think?
- Lieutenant Abrams, San Francisco Homicide Squad: I'll tell you what I think. She had this room and you knew about it. You knew she was going to kill her husband and you had this Dr. Kammer here all ready for the nut alibi.
- 'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: Then, I suppose I knock him off and stir up all this fuss before I get the dough. What kind of a stumble bum does that make me out to be?
- Nick Charles: Harold? We want to go someplace and get the taste of respectibility out of our mouths.
- Harold: OK, Nick.
- Reporter #1: Are you gonna keep on with your detective work then?
- Nick Charles: I retired. I'm just going to take care of my wife's money, so I'll have something in my old age.
- Reporter #2: You said you'd retired in New York; but, I noticed you took that Thin Man case.
- Reporter #3: Oh, that Thin Man was a beaut! They're still talking about it.
- Reporter #1: Pick us up another Thin Man, will ya Nick?
- Aunt Katherine Forrest: How do you do my dear?
- Nora Charles: Hello, Aunt Katherine. You remember Nick.
- Aunt Katherine Forrest: How are you - Ni-col-ass?
- David: Poor girl, it's bad enough with Aunt Katherine and Robert. Now she's got that Dr. Kammer.
- Nick Charles: Who's Dr. Kammer?
- David: Oh, I don't know? He's some nut psychologist. He sits around and talks about her dreams by the hour. I get the creeps every time I look at him.
- 'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: He's been hanging around there three days drunk. He's got a case on a primadonna.
- Nora Charles: I wish you'd toss him out. His wife's going crazy.
- 'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: Oh, that's too bad. I'll speak to his girlfriend.
- Nora Charles: There must be some mistake. I'm Mrs. Nick Charles.
- Plainclothesman: Yes and I'm Mother Goose. Step on it, girlie. Let's go.
- 'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: So, a guy comes in and buys a drink. He goes out and somebody kills him. What are we supposed to do? Give the customers insurance with the drinks?
- Nick Charles: Not a bad idea.
- Nick Charles: Why did you go to his place?
- 'Dancer', Lichee Club Owner: Because I thought he'd gummed my game.