Auntie Mame (1958)
Joanna Barnes: Gloria Upson
Quotes
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Gloria Upson : Bunny Bixler and I were in the semi-finals - the very semi-finals, mind you - of the ping-pong tournament at the club and this ghastly thing happened. We were both playing way over our heads and the score was 29-28. And we had this really terrific volley and I stepped back to get this really terrific shot. And I stepped on the ping-pong ball! I just squashed it to bits. And then Bunny and I ran to the closet of the game room to get another ping-pong ball and the closet was locked! Imagine? We had to call the whole thing off. Well, it was ghastly. Well, it was just ghastly.
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Gloria Upson : Oh, my, what a stunning apartment.
Mame Dennis : Thank you.
Gloria Upson : Books are awfully decorative, don't you think?
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Gloria Upson : Miss Charles, I've just got to tell you how I adored you in "Mary of Scotland."
Vera Charles : Did you, dear? That was Helen Hayes.
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Gloria Upson : And, of course, it's completely restricted.
Mame Dennis : I'll get a blood test.
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Mame Dennis : [Meeting her nephew's snobbish dumb-blonde fiancee for the first time] You're, er, you're at school, dear?
Gloria Upson : I am an Upper Richman Girls School girl.
Mame Dennis : Now, how did you get that lovely tan, so early in the spring?
Gloria Upson : Oh, I played hooky for a couple of weeks. Mums and Dadums and I went down to our place in Fort Lauderdale. We have a place in Fort Lauderdale.
Patrick Dennis : I was out of my mind until she got back. I am insanely jealous of this kid. Sheer torture and I love it.
Gloria Upson : [Coyly] Silly...
Mame Dennis : Tell me dear, have you, er, have you chosen your major yet?
Gloria Upson : [With a blank stare] Chosen my major?
Mame Dennis : What courses are you taking at college?
Gloria Upson : Ah, well, just a general sort of liberal arts things, you know, English lit and like that. Upper Richman's a top drawer. *Really* top drawer.
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[Mame is hosting a dinner party for the snobbish Upsons. Her butler, Mr. Ito, serves the hors d'oeuvres]
Gloria Upson : [tasting one] Mmm, this is spicy! Try one of the little striped ones, Moms.
Dwight Babcock : These *are* tasty!
Doris Upson : What are they, dear?
Mame Dennis : Oh, just plain old pickled rattlesnake.
[Mr. Upson spits out his hors d'oeurve into his flaming drink. Everyone looks disgusted]
Mame Dennis : They're pure protein. And they always marinate them after they remove the fangs.
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Gloria Upson : And what's WRONG with Muriel Puce?