Photos
Quotes
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[Martha has changed into an embarrassingly tight and revealing outfit]
George : Why Martha! Your Sunday chapel dress!
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George : Martha, will you show her where we keep the, uh, euphemism?
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Nick : Who did the painting?
George : Some Greek with a mustache Martha attacked one night.
Nick : It's got a...
George : Quiet intensity?
Nick : Well, no, a...
George : Well then, a certain noisy relaxed quality maybe?
Nick : No, what I meant was...
George : How about a quietly noisy relaxed intensity?
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[George takes a corner far too fast, tossing everyone in the car from side to side. Pause]
Martha : Aren't you going to apologize?
George : Not my fault, the road should've been straight.
Martha : No, aren't you going to apologize for making Honey throw up?
George : I didn't make her throw up.
Martha : What, you think it was sexy back there? You think he made his own wife sick?
George : Well, you make me sick.
Martha : That's different.
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Martha : I looked at you tonight and you weren't there... And I'm gonna howl it out, and I'm not gonna give a damn what I do and I'm gonna make the biggest god-damn explosion you've ever heard.
George : Try and I'll beat you at your own game.
Martha : Is that a threat George, huh?
George : It's a threat, Martha.
Martha : You're gonna get it, baby.
George : Be careful Martha. I'll rip you to pieces.
Martha : You're not man enough. You haven't the guts.
George : Total war.
Martha : Total.
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George : Martha is 108... years old. She weighs somewhat more than that.
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Martha : [derogatorily, to George] Hey, swamp! Hey swampy!
George : Yes, Martha? Can I get you something?
Martha : Ah, well, sure. You can, um, light my cigarette, if you're of a mind to.
George : No. There are limits. I mean, a man can put up with only so much without he descends a rung or two on the old evolutionary ladder, which is up your line. Now, I will hold your hand when it's dark and you're afraid of the boogeyman and I will tote your gin bottles out after midnight so no one can see but I will not light your cigarette. And that, as they say, is that.
Martha : Jesus.
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George : Good. Better. Best. Bested.
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George : You take the trouble to construct a civilization, to build a society based on the principles of... of principle. You make government and art and realize that they are, must be, both the same. You bring things to the saddest of all points, to the point where there is something to lose. Then, all at once, through all the music, through all the sensible sounds of men building, attempting, comes the Dies Irae. And what is it? What does the trumpet sound? Up yours.
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George : Now, I think we've been having a real good evening, all things considered. We sat around, we've got to know each other, and we've had fun and games. Curl up on the Floor, for example. The tiles. Snap the Dragon.
Honey : Peel the Label"
George : Peel... Peel the What?
Martha : Label. Peel the Label.
Martha : [holds up a wine bottle] I peel labels.
George : [bringing the core of the movie down to one simple line] We all peel labels, sweetie.
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George : You're a monster - You are.
Martha : I'm loud and I'm vulgar, and I wear the pants in the house because somebody's got to, but I am not a monster. I'm not.
George : You're a spoiled, self-indulgent, willful, dirty-minded, liquor-ridden...
Martha : SNAP! It went SNAP! I'm not gonna try to get through to you any more. There was a second back there, yeah, there was a second, just a second when I could have gotten through to you, when maybe we could have cut through all this, this CRAP. But it's past, and I'm not gonna try.
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George : Martha, in my mind you're buried in cement right up to the neck. No, up to the nose, it's much quieter.
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George : Martha's got money because Martha's father's second wife, not Martha's mother but after Martha's mother died, was a very old lady with warts who was very rich.
Nick : She was a witch!
George : She was a good witch, and she married the white mouse with the tiny red eyes and he must have nibbled her warts or something like that, because she went up in a puff of smoke almost immediately. Poof!
Nick : Poof!
George : Poof! And all that was left, aside from some wart medicine, was a big fat will.
Nick : Your wife never mentioned a stepmother.
George : Maybe it isn't true.
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George : Now that's it! You can take over a few classes from the older men, but until you start plowing pertinent wives, you really aren't working. The broad, inviting avenue to man's job is through his wife, and don't you forget it.
Nick : And I'll bet your wife has the broadest, most inviting avenue of the whole damn campus.
[long pause]
Nick : Her father president and all.
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George : And please keep your clothes on, too. There aren't many more sickening sights in this world than you with a few drinks in you and your skirt up over your head. Or "your heads", I should say.
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George : All I said was that our son, the apple of our three eyes, Martha being a cyclops, our son is a beanbag, and you get testy!
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George : And that's how you play "Get the Guests".
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George : So, where are these people, this good looking young professor and his slim hipped wife? What did they do? Go home and get some sleep first?
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Nick : [to Honey] We'll go in a little while.
George : Oh no. No, you mustn't. Martha is changing, and Martha is not changing for me, Martha hasn't changed for me in years. If Martha is changing, that means we're going to be here for days. You're being accorded an honor, and you mustn't forget that Martha is the daughter of our beloved boss. She is his right... arm. I was going to use another word, but we'll leave that sort of talk to Martha.
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George : Vanish!
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George : Once a month, Martha. I've gotten used to it. Once a month, and we get Misunderstood Martha, the goodhearted girl underneath the barnacles. The little miss that the touch of kindness will bring to bloom again. And I believed it more times than I'd like to admit because I don't like to think I'm that much of a sucker. But I don't believe you, I just don't believe you! There is no moment, there is NO moment any more when we could come together.
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[repeated line]
George : Alright, love, whatever love wants.
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George : I'm sorry, I wasn't listening-or thinking, whichever one applies.