- Lizzie: Hey! You know this Paolo and Isabella CD isn't so bad. I mean if you're into the Alanis Morissette-y alternative, dark, like brooding, I-never-go-out-into-the-sunshine-and-my-life's-a-miserable-black-hole-of-depression kinda thing, then you'd think they stink. But I mean for a like driving-around-in-the-car-with-the-top-down-putting-on-your-lip-gloss-loving-life kinda thing, they're good! Here, listen...
- [he leans close so they can share the headphones]
- Gordo: Not bad. You use scented soap, huh?
- Lizzie: What?
- Gordo: Uh... n-never mind.
- Matt McGuire: What is that?
- Gordo: That is Miss Ungermeyer. Get on her good side, and it's your one-way ticket to an Ivy League School. But if you get on her bad side...
- Janitor: [passing by with mop bucket] ... excuse me, gotta clean up some vomit.
- Matt McGuire: You end up like that guy?
- Gordo: You end up *working* for that guy.
- Miss Ungermeyer: Mr. Craft, have you even started on your summer reading list?
- Ethan: I finished it.
- Miss Ungermeyer: You read eleven books?
- Ethan: I mean I read the list!
- Sam McGuire: All right, tell me what you know that I don't.
- Matt McGuire: Dad, it's only a fourteen-hour flight.
- Ethan: When are we going to eat spaghetti?
- Kate: Its like nine in the morning.
- Ethan: So what? You've never had spaghetti for breakfast before?
- Kate: I don't eat carbs!
- Ethan: So I suppose you've never had a spaghetti sandwich before?
- Kate: This experience is so totally wasted on you...
- Miss Ungermeyer: Craft! Sanders! Seperate!
- Kate: Oh, we did! And thank god!
- Miss Ungermeyer: Ok, let's try something at your education level and take a ten minute shopping break while I choke down an espresso.
- Miss Ungermeyer: You tell us where Lizzie is or this deck is gonna catch some serious air!
- Ethan: Well it's possible that she's at the Italian Music Video Awards doubling for the Italian pop star Isabella who's like totally her twin.
- [pause]
- Ethan: Why does everyone always look at me like that?
- Isabella: Who are you going to believe? This boy you are knowing your whole life? Or this boy you are just meeting, who says "You shine like the light from the sun"?
- Miss Ungermeyer: Gordon, you having a problem?
- Gordo: No, no... I-I just... I'm starting to agree with Ethan. I-I think we need to eat more spaghetti.
- Ethan: You're the man!
- Lizzie: [singing] Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of. Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of, I've got somewhere I belong, I've got somebody to love...
- Ethan: The sting.
- Gordo: What sting?
- Ethan: You want a little mano a mano?
- Gordo: See, this is one of the reasons that me and you aren't friends. 'Cause I-I never have any idea what you're talking about.
- Ethan: Ya, see. Some dudes get the approach. Others, the sting. That Italian dude? He's big-time approach.
- Gordo: I actually feel my brain turning into goo.
- Ethan: Embrace the sting. That's what you're vibin' here from Lizzie.
- Gordo: Wait a minute. Now, you actually think that I'm jealous of Paolo.
- Ethan: Word.
- Gordo: [chuckling] Oh, no. No, see, that would mean that I like Lizzie as more than a friend.
- Ethan: See? What do you mean you and I have trouble communicating, bro?
- Gordo: [annoyed] You're wrong, man!
- Miss Ungermeyer: Room assignments: David Gordon, you'll be rooming with Ethan Craft. You'll be in room 103.
- Ethan: Are those English or Italian numbers?
- Kate Sanders: Only you would think that you could hide that powder blue, puffy sleeved, it's kind of a peasant dress, but it's really a questionable disaster of fiber content that you wore to the spring dance. Lizzie McGuire, you are an outfit repeater!
- Lizzie: Okay, I may be an outfit repeater, but you're an outfit rememberer, which is just as pathetic!
- [Gordo has just sacrificed himself to save Lizzie's dignity, and now he is taking an elevator]
- Ethan: Love lifts us up where we belong.
- Lizzie: Gordo, when have you become an expert on Italian Award show thingies?
- Gordo: It's called common sense Lizzie. Which i happen to have a lot of to make up for my lack of "Slow curve".
- Kate Sanders: Slow curve?
- Gordo: Never mind.
- Kate: How many Lizzies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Hmmm, I don't know, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation.
- Miss Ungermeyer: What's your name?
- Gordo: David Gordan.
- Miss Ungermeyer: David Gordan. I think that's Italian for 'sneaky little brown noser with a hidden agenda'.
- Miss Ungermeyer: You will get to experience the delights of La Citta Eterna. Rome. Eternal city. Did no one read the info packets?
- Miss Ungermeyer: Mr. Craft, you are in the most beautiful city in the world, is this having any effect on you?
- Ethan: Yeah the cobble stones are like totally thrashing on my wheels.
- Jo McGuire: Honey, just yesterday you were in diapers - now you've graduated junior high, and you're growing up, going to Rome for two weeks all by yourself. Without me. Without me there. Without me with you. You there without me.
- Lizzie McGuire: That's just about all the combinations of those words you can make, Mom.
- [trying to get assistance from the hotel desk clerk]
- Jo McGuire: That's McGuire, Lizzie McGuire.
- Giorgio: Yes, we are in the travel guides.
- Jo McGuire: No, no, we're the parents of Lizzie.
- Giorgio: Ah. l Via Liuzzi. I call a cab. Is very far.
- Jo McGuire: Anyone else want to step up to the plate?
- [as Paolo leaves the stage after being exposed as a fraud, he is confronted by his bodyguard Sergei]
- Sergei: Lizzie McGuire is nice girl, you tried to hurt her?
- Paolo: Get off me, Sergei. You work for me!
- Sergei: Not anymore, I quit!
- [the reporters and photographers surround Paolo]
- Sergei: Paolo cannot sing music. Now he must face music.
- [Lizzie has just thrown a coin into the Trevi Fountain and seen Paolo]
- Lizzie McGuire: I WAS hoping for smooth sailing in high school but, this will do!
- Matt McGuire: 74 percent of Italian teenage boys said that they would most like to date American girls.
- Sam McGuire: Where'd you get these numbers?
- Matt McGuire: They're available for everyone who's got a computer.
- Lizzie: Come on, Mom, Dad, I've got to get out of the country! Hurry!
- Jo McGuire: Oh, honey, I know you're still upset, but it wasn't that bad.
- Lizzie: Oh really, Mom? Was your junior high graduation on Good Morning America?
- Sam McGuire: What kind of creep sent Diane Sawyer a video to embarrass you like that?
- [Matt, holding a video camera, snickers]
- Lizzie: This is impossible, I could never sing in front of an audience. I don't even let my mom hear me in the shower.
- Sam McGuire: Miss Ungermeyer says Lizzie's very well chaperoned.
- Matt McGuire: Yeah, what is she, 5'1", 5'2" max?
- Lizzie: That would mean I would have to sneak away from the group. I'm like physically incapable of sneaking
- Isabella: [holding up a tabloid picture] Who is this girl? I've been on the island this whole time...
- Gordo: [crawls underneath the mob] I can explain. That's my friend, Lizzie McGuire.
- [He is dragged up to his feet by two security guards]
- Isabella: [to security guards] Put him down, put him down.
- [looks around, turns to Gordo]
- Isabella: We need to talk... in private.
- [pulls him away]