The Hangover Part II (2011)
Ed Helms: Stu
Photos
Quotes
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Stu Price : [to the lyrics of "Allentown"] Well, we're living here in Alan Town / And he's driven our lives into the ground / When we woke up we were wasted and drunk / Phil got shot... / We got beaten by a monk... / I was happy and my life was good / Getting married like a dentist should / Roasting marshmallows on a stick / I got fucked in the ass... / By a girl with a dick...
Alan : Ha ha ha, I remember that.
Stu Price : And we're living here in Alan Town / But they're taking Teddy's finger now... / And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna lose my shit /... and shoot Alan in the face /... and shoot myself.
Alan : You totally butchered that song.
Stu Price : You totally butchered my life.
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Phil : You wouldn't even be with her if it wasn't for us!
Stu Price : Oh, this will be good!
Phil : Stu, think about it! You ended up ditching Melissa... two years later, you met your true soulmate. You take Vegas out of that equation, you would've married a cunt!
[Old couple looks over and gives Phil dirty looks]
Phil : Oh, it's ok... No, I'm allowed to say it, it's a bachelor party. Drink up everybody! Oh wait, there's no alcohol. I forgot, we're at a fuckin' Ihop!
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Kimmy : This one was following me like little puppy dog all around, all night, saying that he fall in love with me, asked to marry me.
Alan : Classic Stu.
Kimmy : I dance for him, he tickle me, we have sex...
Phil : You're not married yet it's no big deal.
Stu Price : It's cheating. No offense to you, you're a lovely woman, it's a violation of my moral code.
Kimmy : What code is that? Stu you loved it, you were crying saying how special it was. I had to slow down so I didn't drop my load too quick.
Stu Price : Load?
Alan : What load?
Kimmy : Oh you know, my sperm.
Stu Price : That is wrong, you're talking about my sperm. Where would your sperm come from?
Kimmy : My balls. You're in Bangkok, there's a reason they don't call it Bangcunt!
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Phil : Do you ever do anything that doesn't end in a stand-off, Chow?
Mr. Chow : I a international criminal. It always ends like this. I met my wife at one of these things.
Stu Price : You have a wife?
Mr. Chow : Yeah, we married fifteen years. Whatsa matter, Mr. Chow not good-looking enough for woman?
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Grand Wizard : Perhaps you should bring your question to the Garden of Meditation.
Phil : Did you understand a word he just said?
Stu Price : Yeah I understood about two thirds. He said something about the Garden of Meditation.
Alan : No he said he's farting because of his medication.
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Stu Price : [from trailer] All I wanted was a bachelor brunch.