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Hayden-86055
Love watching a wide variety of films, especially obscure ones on TV!
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Kaijûtô no kessen: Gojira no musuko (1967)
Baby Godzilla runs amok
Son of Godzilla is a rather weak film, but it is very enjoyable. Baby Godzilla is hilarious and you can tell that the parent Godzilla is so done with him for 90% of the film!
The plot is barebones, as can be expected, and is mostly spent either chasing the Godzillas or the Godzillas fighting some huge giant ant or the like. The acting, whilst not amazing, was not too bad, however. And, I really enjoyed the practical effects, even if they were very corny (Godzilla is a man in a suit!). It's a very funny film to watch drunk too.
4/10: Entertaining monster flick, with a silly plot, an even sillier pair of monsters and good effects.
Ratatoing (2007)
Ratatoing?!
Ratatoing is a film that exists. It shouldn't do, but it does exist, so I had the misfortune of being able to watch it. The animation is terrible, the dialogue is awful, the music nearly makes your ears bleed and the acting is better not talked about. Oh, and the plot is dreadful.
Ratatoing starts off at a restaurant (named the Ratatoing by the way) where the first five minutes is spent complimenting the food, that is apparently wonderful but it's full with maggots and worms and flies. Which I guess the rats eat, so it's ok? I'm not quite sure, it's a very weird start to a very weird film. The next however long is everyone starts asking for the secret ingredients for the food, it was very dull.
The rest of the film is basically just the rival restaurant owners trying to find the secret of how good the food is (the actual secret is that Ratatoing isn't even cooking their own food) and it's all dragged out over nearly fifty minutes, when it could have been condensed down to twenty, easily.
1/10: It actually hurt me inside to watch. Zero enjoyment from this film.
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (2008)
Inconsistently good
The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is a good film, the acting is solid, the cinematography is nice and the music is passable, if not amazing. Unfortunately, the film is also extremely historically inaccurate, makes little sense, and has led to a whole generation of school children being taught the wrong thing. Which as a soon to be History teacher, is a huge shame for me.
For example many students believe that the film and book are based on a true story (they are not!!) think that it's possible for the Jewish boy, Shmuel, to sit around all day doing nothing without anyone seeing him or forcing him to work. Also, the fact that Bruno can sit at the edge of a camp and easily dig his way in without a guard noticing is also ludicrous to the extreme.
The characters are good, but make me uncomfortable. I do not blame any of the actors in the slightest, and I'm sure they thought the film would bring positive educational values to Holocaust education, even if it doesn't. Vera Farmiga plays Bruno's Mother, Elsa. Elsa is portrayed as extremely sympathetic, despite being married to a Nazi Officer, hating Jews and only showing disgust when the Jews are getting gassed, disliking mass murder is no where near a basis for human decency, and in the real world she would still be a despicable person, but for some reason within the film she is portrayed as heroic...it's stupid. The ending of the film where the focus of sympathy is given to the Nazis is quite disgusting too. Although, scenes such as where the Jew Pavel is beaten to death, and the gas chamber murders at the end do portray the true horrors of the Holocaust effectively enough.
Bruno is well played by Asa Butterfield, and the only reasonably accurate character is the evil and sadistic Lieutenant Kotler, played very well by Rupert Friend.
Another focus of my dislike is the author of the novel, John Boyne. Boyne has contributed to what is essentially misinformation when it comes to the Holocaust, which is very dangerous. His sequel to the Boy in the Striped Pajamas "All the Broken Places" written in 2022 was complete tripe as well.
5/10: As a drama it works well and the acting is good. But the historical inaccuracies, misinformation and making the Nazi characters too sympathetic bring this film down a lot. Make sure you're educated on the Holocaust before watching this.
Der Untergang (2004)
Downfall is essential viewing
Downfall is an amazing film, Bruno Ganz is absolutely amazing as Hitler, and at portraying pure evil in human form. A lot of previous films inaccurately portrayed Hitler as some sort of cartoonish super-villain instead of the charismatic, enticing and well loved leader he was. Hitler came to power through the vote of the common man, not through tyranny, and portraying his appeal is crucial to understanding how evil this vile man really was, he was possible the most evil leader to have ever lived.
Bruno Ganz deserves huge amounts of praise for his role, just as Ralph Fiennes does in the equally brilliant 1993 film Schindler's List. Also of note is the lesser known, but no less brilliant, Ulrich Matthes, who plays Joseph Goebbels to an unsettling perfection. Hitler's decline into madness and delusion has never been shown better on film. The cinematography is claustrophobic and whilst it sometimes has an almost tv series type feel, this is never enough to diminish the plot or acting. It's a shame the extended edition hasn't been released with English subtitles, really.
10/10: Essential watch for any budding historian, or history student.
Return to Oz (1985)
Bleak, bizarre and unusual
Return to Oz is an extremely weird film, the atmosphere is so bleak I'm surprised it even tries to link to the original movie, and many of the themes on show are very adult and not for children. I'm confused to think why Disney studios thought this would have an audience!
Where the film excels the most is the almost post apocalyptic feel I get from it. The Emerald City is in ruins and its residents are either dead or turned to stone. The visuals are fantastic, gothic, and dark for a lot of the film, which I absolutely love, although the plot sometimes doesn't match the darkness of the tone and visuals and often tries to insert childish humour or silly jokes in an otherwise extremely serious film; like it's trying to appeal to both adults and children and sort of reaches a weird middle point where it's not able to decide which direction it fully wants to go in.
The plot is fine, the music is decent and the costumes are actually quite great, but there are some elements that drag out too long or are not explained well enough.
Fairuza Balk's Dorothy is very solid and another standout actor is Nicol Williamson, who plays the evil "Nome King" to perfection. As well as his other role as the villainous Doctor in Dorothy's real world.
6/10: An extremely weird film, with some excellent visuals that deserve praise. But a plot that (whilst average and not bad) drags, and an uneven pace with an annoying sidekick (why pick an irritating chicken over Tonto?!) All in all, a good film.
Gravity (2013)
I DESPISE this film
Gravity, where do I start? Good things out of the way first, the visuals are nice...for 2013....they are good for 2013. The script is dreadful, the film is slow, painful and disgustingly dull. The characters are boring, I don't care about them in the slightest. Sandra Bullock is usually good, but here she is awful.
The plot is dreadful, one of the worst I've ever seen, let's have some action, some rubbish dialogue, some George Clooney thrown in for good measure. Now it's time for the main part of the film, sorry, did I say the main part? I meant some ridiculous and dull scenes from Bullock about travelling 100 miles to the Chinese space station and then some absurdly hilarious scenes of her crying over dogs. It's pathetic, I hate this film, I hate how people somehow like it, like seals clapping along with the critics who only liked it 11 years ago because it had groundbreaking CGI.
Now that its CGI has been surpassed, what does it have? Nothing. Nothing apart from a poor script, bad dialogue, bad plot and horrendous characters.
2/10: Has to be up there for the most overrated film ever.
Inception (2010)
Midception
Inception is a highly overrated film. But it's still solid, and I would recommend it potentially based on the viewer.
There are many reasons to dislike Inception, a lack of emotional depth, huge pacing issues, predictability and an overemphasis on the concept of shared dreams rather than the plot.
Let us be honest, the characters are rather dull. And the film is so overly complex it thinks it's the next Matrix, it's not, it's no where near as good. Visually, Inception is stunning, and Leonardo DiCaprio is excellent as always but this does not excuse the poor plot, the music is good however.
6/10: Confusing, forgettable, but has moments of brilliance. Most likely if someone says it's a 10/10 they're likely just following the crowd.
Lights Out (2016)
Extremely cliched and bogstandard horror flick
American horror movies usually try nothing new, this is one of those. Forgettable characters, poor monsters, no good or unique locations or scares, bad dialogue, etc...
I can barely remember the whole film, I think I may have fell asleep out of boredom. Hated every second of it.
The music is bogstandard, monster is bogstandard, everything about it is bogstandard and it tries NOTHING new. I'm very shocked that anyone would even entertain this film as decent and there seems to be some sort of nationwide hold mediocre horror films have on the average consumer, we need some more unique films.
2/10: Complete trash.
Bigfoot: The Conspiracy (2020)
Poor acting, terrible story, and not enough Bigfoot
I really hated this film, I found it funny how poor it was but apart from that it didn't have anything redeeming. The protagonist was dull, not particularly likable owing to the fact he had zero character and his lack of chemistry with his wife was daunting.
My biggest critique was the jumbled plot, extreme lack of Bigfoot scenes, the lack of scares and terrible characters. For example, the three main agents meet up with an analytical agent, offer her no information, she offers them none and then they all leave. Why did this meeting happen at a "secret location" (where they all wear black suits and glasses and stick out like sore thumbs) I don't know, but it did. Also, why did the agents at the end break into Dante's parents in law's house and then suddenly do a 180 at the end and shoot at the rogue agent, it was all ridiculous. The director takes himself far too seriously for the tripe he keeps putting out, and the 10 star reviews on IMDB all seem to be from family and friends most likely.
2/10: Apart from some decent natural cinematography there is not much to look forward to here.
Werewolf Cabal (2022)
Werewolf "cabal"?
Werewolf Cabal is not a very good film, but I do appreciate that the director and crew members possibly tried a little harder than the usual low budget horror films.
The acting is generally rather poor, Derek Nelson and Antonia Whillans have literally minus chemistry and the rest of the cast are very wooden and unemotive, apart from Jon Paul Gates. Who, as usual puts out a very enthusiastic if over the top performance, but he was easily the best actor of the film. Another positive is the surprisingly good werewolf costume and practical effects and gore, I enjoyed that. The music was average at best, but at least it was consistent and the musical chords seemed to follow the moment successfully.
The plot was bad, very bad, and didn't make much sense. The ending was disappointing and introduced multiple new characters for about 5 minutes of screen time, wholly unnecessary it could have ended far better if we just saw that the main character had also turned into a werewolf.
3/10: Has a few positive aspects, and is generally enjoyable but is brought down by a weak protagonist and a bad story.
The Loch Ness Horror (2023)
Boredom emerges
Absolute tripe, complete rubbish. One of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of watching. I hated the plot, the acting, the characters, the special effects, the poorly lit environments and sets and absolutely dreadful cinematography.
The bulk of the film, basically nothing happens. When the Loch Ness Monster does appear it is poorly designed and basically just shakes the ship/submarine with minimal horror or fun action, I can't stress enough how awful this film is and should never have ever been made.
1/10: Cheesy, uninteresting, silly, cheap and an insult to quality low budget filmmakers everywhere.
Bee Movie (2007)
The Bee Movie
The Bee Movie is an extremely memeable film, it's kind of hilarious in the sort of ridiculous way you'd get drunk at a party and laugh at literally whatever is on the tv.
Jerry Seinfield is ok as the lead, but I've always hated the man since he went after a 17 year old when he was 39, that's beyond creepy and I'm surprised he still has a huge audience nowadays.
The plot is somewhat unique in its Bee material, but that doesn't make it good. The jokes are generally lackluster but the film has some very funny moments, Ken and Vanessa are quite funny and I enjoyed seeing about all the different Bee jobs. Unfortunately, a lot of the film is nonsensical, childish and dull. But, again, the film has some great parts.
5/10: It's average, it's not the worst but I wouldn't rewatch. It is somewhat unique, which is good, but it doesn't justify enough for multiple watches.
Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023)
Enjoyable adventure
Dungeons and Dragons is a good film. Chris Pine is great as the lead and it's nice to see Sophia Lillis getting more roles. Hugh Grant eats up every scene he's in however, and makes an excellent and slightly sympathetic villain.
The plot is rather jumbled, but it makes sense within the context of how chaotic Dungeons and Dragons is. I think the film is overall not that memorable but it's very enjoyable whilst you're watching and the action scenes and CGI are very strong. A lot of the jokes actually landed instead of being cringe.
7/10: I was tempted to give it a 6, but it's not easy making a good video game adaption so it gets a 7 just about.
Corpse Bride (2005)
The usual Tim Burton fare
I enjoyed Corpse Bride, I think it's a good film with a very interesting style. Not as iconic as a Nightmare before Christmas but still good. It's ultra gothic, which I think is where Burton excels the most and it's very dreary. Even the alive characters look mostly dead.
The voice cast is excellent, it always amazes me when Johnny Depp puts on another voice so expert you can't even tell it's him. I loved the main cast a lot here and it was nice to see Helena Bonham Carter, Emily Watson and Christopher Lee have a role.
The music is good but no masterpiece tracks here.
The plot has a great premise but can come across a bit barebones and would have benefited from a bit more depth, Victor and his alive bride to be Victoria only really share two moments together in the entire film!
8/10: A good watch, and it's under 80 minutes so kids hopefully won't get too bored.
Tu xia chuan qi (2011)
An infinitely worse version of Kung Fu Panda
I despise this film, the main character is idiotic, extremely unlikeable and has no personality beyond being a complete and utter joke. The plot is so simplistic and boring me and my friends practically fell asleep whilst watching.
The soundtrack is terrible, the animation is very low rate and has basically no redeeming features, and apparently this film had a not awful budge too; which makes it worse.
The only two even slight positives I can think of is that Michael Clarke Duncan does a decent job voicing the villain (the script doesn't help there) and, surprisingly some of the action in the final battle was averagely choreographed.
1/10: Dreadful, one of the worst children's animated films I have ever seen and I feel sorry for anyone who goes to watch what is apparently a 3rd Kung Fu Rabbit film in the works.
Room for Rent (2019)
Horrendous
I was shocked to see this vile film get many good reviews...even from critics! The protagonist is a pedophile, and a jealous predator. Themes such as growing old and lonely whilst they make her slightly sympathetic do not justify her actions or crimes.
The plot is bare bones and more of a failed drama than a thriller, there's not much action and I hated Lin Shaye in this, her acting was so terrible and the cinematography and music was just awful. The characters were shoehorned in by the director just to tick off specific plot points on their list.
1/10: Never again, I can't believe people can even like this nonsense.
The Starving Games (2013)
Terrible spoof of an amazing franchise
I would highly recommend against watching this cringe fest, 80% of the jokes fell flat and made me just want to watch the proper Hunger Games again.
A couple of the jokes were quite funny but it's one of those films that will become incredibly dated quite fast, I thought the main characters were extremely obnoxious and unlikable. I did, however, quite like Dean West's take on Seneca, he was probably the best acted of the lot. The music was terrible and the forced parodies of anything they thought would make them money is just plain sad.
2/10: Very cringe worthy, reminded me all to much of the disastrous "Epic Movie" from 2007.
Shrek the Musical (2013)
Vulgar, pointless, inferior. Maybe even insuting.
Shrek is a Dreamworks production. It is NOT a Disney film, it is a parody of Disney. In the original Shrek film every single time someone tries to sing an original song they're either shut down, interrupted or told to stop (Shrek cannot tell Donkey enough, no singing). This musical opens up with an actually horrendous and pathetic opening where Shrek's parents send him away.
There's no All Star song when Shrek bursts out of his outhouse, nope, it's a rubbish original song. Talking of the cast, they're all terrible except for Fiona (who has a nice, creative song when she's waiting to be rescued in the tower) and Donkey, although these two actors are only mediocre. Shrek's actor is dreadful.
It gives too much screen time to bad characters, adds nothing to the Shrek universe, does not improve the original Shrek masterpiece and the new dialogue greatly slows down the pace. The humour is also far worse and juvenile.
2/10: Drags, dreadful and an insult to the original. Instead of subverting Disney musicals and traditional fairy tales it plays into them - this adaption does not understand Shrek or even good original songs. The only saving grace is a couple of the songs are watchable, but none are good.
Boar (2017)
Outrageous and gory horror film!
For a low budget horror film Boar is rather inventive. Why is there a giant killer boar the size of a car? We don't know, nobody knows...but there is and it's violent, this is the premise of the film and somehow it works.
The acting is not very good but the energy brought to the cast is admirable, Uncle Bernie is a good character and Ken, whilst starting off as a bit of a creep, becomes a rather heroic character.
The kills and about half on screen and half off, when we actually get to see them they are very bloody and exciting. Another positive is that the practical effects for the boar are very strong, but sometimes it's CGI which is less impressive but understandable and it's difficult to have a puppet run 20mph!
One of the biggest downsides of the film is there are many scenes that I feel are either very unnecessary or drags on far too long, with lots of the lines feeling like they are not needed and add nothing to the story. The side plots generally fall flat and a lot of the characters seem to be sex pests which is really weird.
4/10: Was thinking of giving this a 5, but I think that despite it being a very creative film with its premise and kills with the poor acting, plot, music and dialogue I cannot.
Significant Other (2022)
Unique Sci-Fi horror film with a twist
Significant Other is a very interesting concept for a horror film, where an alien kills and absorbs someone but inherits his love for another. I found it very interesting how the alien dealt with this feeling, and I love the chemistry between the main two actors and the acting was solid.
Some parts drag on a little much and the ending 15 minutes may be seen as confusing or underwhelming to some but I still found it a satisfying conclusion and a scary cliffhanger too.
I think, when you get past the twist and uniqueness of the film on a second viewing it may be less engaging and come across worse than a first viewing.
7/10: Fascinating idea and deserves a watch, if not a rewatch.
White Chicks (2004)
Extremely silly, sometimes funny
White Chicks is a pretty rubbishy film, its premise, whilst potentially funny often relies on juvenile and shamelessly unfunny jokes which makes the overall premise seem less hilarious.
One positive is the acting from main stars Marlon Wayans and Shawn Wayans is actually not that bad, and it's not easy acting in drag or pretending to be a woman. There are very few funny moments in the film like the dinner date one of them has. Also, the makeup deserves praise as it's obvious it's meant to be seen through. However, this can't excuse the rubbish and obnoxious humour for the most part and the lacking intelligence to the jokes.
3/10: Despite a few funny moments, overall this film is a joke itself.
Barbie as Rapunzel (2002)
Childish but a solid film
Barbie as Rapunzel follows much the same vein as the other historical/fairytale Barbie films. The plot is strong and it's great to see Rapunzal with a slightly feminist twist before the amazing Disney film that is tangled.
The Maiden in the Tower archetype or cliche goes all the way back to even pre Christian Europe with pagan tales, Barbie as Rapunzel follows the story very closely and I enjoyed the storyline. The voice acting is average, except for Anjelica Huston who is fantastic in her role as the baddie Dame Gothel who is extra villainous and always steals the screen presence whenever she's on. I found the talking dragon and rabbit to be unnecessary and childish and they sometimes take away from the making any of it serious, but for very young children they'll be good to make sure they're never scared of the villain or mild peril associated with the film.
The slightly feminist reversal of the Rapunzel tale is that Rapunzel rescues herself, not the Prince rescuing her. I liked this as it's a good twist to subvert expectations and I also liked the Prince's character, I thought he was one dimensional and stereotypical but he was quite sweet and wholesome.
6/10: Good storyline, the CGI is a little dated but definitely makes them look like dolls (if they were going for that effect) nice themes, and a brilliant villain.
Return to Sleepaway Camp (2008)
Crazy, bloody, fun
Return to Sleepaway Camp is a huge treat for the fans of the original trilogy, Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten and Paul DeAngelo all return in their respective roles. Tiersten and DeAngelo aren't the best actors but Tiersten absolutely gives it his all.
The plot is terrible, and apart from the one twist at the end held few surprises. However, I have huge praise for the amount of bloody and exciting kills we get, and they're actually all really creative, being killed in different ways. The main character is a loner and a creep towards women and is simultaneously bullied and feared. The music is not great and the dialogue is simplistic and unimaginative.
4/10: A lot of fun, with a surprisingly high amount of creativity put into the kills.
Sleepaway Camp IV: The Survivor (1992)
Shocked this was even allowed to be released
This film is dreadful and should be avoided at all costs, it's hugely made up of footage from the original trilogy with maybe some deleted or alternative shots thrown in. There's no new kills, only two new "characters" (people who appear for a minute or two) and the new soundtrack is awful. Terrible film.
The new footage and actors are terrible, none of it is edited and the sound quality is extremely poor with lots of background noises and sometimes barely being able to hear the actors. The old scenes are often strung together at a bad attempt to create a new narrative based on flashbacks.
1/10: Appalled this was allowed to be published.
Ich seh, Ich seh (2014)
Mixed Austrian Thriller
Goodnight Mummy or Ich seh, Ich seh (I see, I see) in German is an interesting thriller. I've already seen the slightly inferior American remake, so I knew exactly what I was in for and this version, whilst different, sticks to the same general formula.
One huge positive to this film that puts it above the remake in at least one regard is the beautiful cinematography, seriously, this film has some amazing shots with a beautiful visual colour palette and the nature shots are breathtaking. However, the main cast are all extremely unlikable and behave vilely, the last 30 or 35 minutes of the film is basically the son abusing and torturing his Mother and it is extremely horrible to watch and I think they went far too overboard with the on screen violence; especially the scene where the son gleefully burns his Mother with, first a magnifying glass and then for real at the end. It was dreadful and disgusting to watch.
The horror aspects in the film are better and scarier than in the remake, or at least I'd definitely feel that would be if I had thought the Mother was actually an impostor. I felt like it was a little too easy to realise that Lukas was dead (the not making two dinners was a huge giveaway and I now see this as a big plothole in the remake which did not even mention food!)
5/10: Good plot, excellent cinematography, average acting and it's not particularly fun to watch, except for the amazing shots in the forests, fields and town. The last 30 minutes are vile.