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Sting (2024)
Some people not gonna like it because this horror movie isn't about a spider.
Most people aren't gonna get this movie because it is a horror movie from a child's perspective about the break down of communication and connection in a family.
Charlotte basically unable to communicate with her mother and step father despite the amount of effort she puts into it like writing a comic together with him or helping her mom look after her half brother.
So she spends her time looking for other connections in the building with objects, spiders, dogs and maybe people/person.
You will doubt this but the only time charlotte starts screaming in the movie is when the last member of her family is kidnap by the spider (the dark passenger/loneliness/isolation). Her war with Sting actually represent the internal conflict to succumb to dark distractions and reconnect with her family.
Land of Bad (2024)
A taste in the difference between military divisions.
A lot of people are gonna hate this movie or give a so-so rating because Hollywood has lied to you into thinking every soldier/officer in the service is a uberman killing machine.
They are not. The movie serves as a stark difference between techs at bases and field units. And how even the lifestyles and air/atmosphere for these different operatives is.
How drone operators like Eddie are in a more office environment of detached, relative low stress, short shift situation while field operators like Kinney are in high intensity, high stress, extreme hours situation.
Even their personal life priorities are completely different as shown in the last minutes of the movie.
Land of Bad is not there for you to hate on one group or another just to enlighten you that if you haven't walked in either person's shoes you could never understand what they are going through as you the audience in your comfy chair with a cold drink and snack in your hands.
Childhood's End (2015)
Felt like a Progressive Leftist story.
I hate you all, we gonna groom your children and take them from you then wipe out your culture. OMG is it what the Progressive Democrat Left is doing. This adaptation maybe be brilliant on it so well mimics what is happening in today's world where the elitist are trying to strip the children of their parents' culture, turn them against their parents and then 'trans'form them into the 'perfect' being to be with the Overmind.
This is a absolute masterpiece! Arthur C. Clarke cannot be more proud that his story has be transformed into a modern day social commentary. Make all your friends watch it as a cautionary what is happening right now in real time.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
Here is a review for the masses.
Only 2 good boss fight scenes and they were not the main boss or the 2nd main boss. There is boss fight between two sub-bosses there is so out of character of the character development created for them just before the fight that it spoils the special ending.
Endless mob grinding while spamming potions and abilities. If you play any MOBA games you will understand. Magic jacket need magic weapons of +5 or higher to hit (AD&D reference). Only armour thicker than his jacket is his plot armour.
Bad plot writing, b grade action movie ending, c grade special ending. Bad directing, bad pacing of mob clearing, bad cinemography. I joked with my friend that they will try pad out the movie with 5 minute scene of people eating or siting. There were 3 definite moments of these of which when they start he couldn't stop laughing looking at me.
The actually padding out of a movie that would be at most 1 hour and 40 minutes long was done with the mob grinding scenes. You see John take his cosmos pistol (a gun with endless bullets, Captain Harlock reference) when plot requires him to toss it use his character hot bar skill to obtain another one.
There is feeling of risk even when John gets visibly tired, he just hot bars his stamina potion and is good to go.
Pros: Donnie Yen total character commitment in center and off frame of his scenes. He has total commitment to playing a blind person and not some blind kung fu master. You will see him in the side frame continuously shooting in the general direction of an enemy he kills because he doesn't know if he went down and is dead or is touching and tapping with his sword the environment as he moves to make sure of his surroundings. He even sometimes looks the wrong in side frame when people are talking because he is not Dare Devil.
The Munsters (2022)
So over the top cheesy it is really entertaining.
So when I saw the trailers I was thinking, "What is the garbage. Cheap cash in of The Munsters"?
Thus I entered the fry biased what crap it was going to be. Surprisingly, it is the dialogue and story is so over the top cheesy you cannot but roll your eyes grin. Audiences, new to to franchise has to know the humour is a modern approximation of the same humour to the original making it even more cheesy but delivered in digestible manner for us.
Other than the enthusiastic acting and super cheesy humour another thing some people don't notice is the incredible lighting work that is done in each scene. The high use of RGB lighting like in the club scenes is simply amazing for the gear they had to work with.
BTW Zoya is wearing a ring with a Pear of Anguish on it.
Ambulance (2022)
Those that didn't like the movie never watched real copcams.
The dialogue may appear cheesy like from Danny but you have to remember the mental state, their upbringing and their personal morals come into play when they speak those lines. Although, Danny comedic lines sometimes seem out of place, they are a very rare occurrence in the movie.
The action is well done except maybe at the ambushing of the ambushes but sequence is expected of Bay.
For all purposes it is a well done movie that you have very little to complain about. Due to inflation you think the ticket price is a bit too much and that affects your rating but if it was released 3 years ago you wouldn't be shy spending the 2 hours in the cinema watching this.
Monster Island (2019)
It is what it is but better than what the haters say.
First things first.
Yes it is on a shoe string budget.
Yes you can see this in the special effects.
Yes you can see this in the cuts for some scenes.
But the acting is decent. The story is decent. The movie seems to have been made with love and not just to cash a cheque. The Director or Producer made the right move to have a continuous score throughout the movie to maintain audience's attention. I did watch this movie without time shifting which says a lot for a super low budget movie.
Worth a watch for the story and decent acting. A good example if you have an impossibly small budget to film a sci-fi action movie.
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Nickelodeon Hero Movie
Ok i cant watch this Nickelodeon gender bender of Spider Man rip off anymore. 16 minutes in - 2/10 Going to watch something better. Imagine they wanted to put this in the cinema as ask you to pay more money to watch it.
Monsters of Man (2020)
Unlike the entitled people that wrote a review I will give it to you real.
Monsters Of Man is a nice budget action sci-fi that delivers a non-preachy commentary about the war industry in this catch me if you can movie. With time spent on the civilian war trauma angle along with those caught in the cogs of politics and big tech with no way out. It is movie of our time (2020) where there are bad guys, big money, dirty polices, victims. 'bystanders' and small victories. A well shot, directed, scripted and acted movie in 2020 by a dedicated crew.
Star Trek: Lower Decks (2020)
I am pretty Anti-Star Trek after the Next Generation.
As mentioned in the title I am, I hated all the other stuff. Especially, the new series Discovery and Picard. Those series were particularly and direct SJW insult to ideals of Gene.
But Lower Decks which is actually a mirror universe IMO of Discovery (where Mariner is a Mirror Michael all in the right reasons) have a the light hearted and hopeful themes of the TOS and TNG.
With strong voice acting, decent to good stories (expect the first 3 episodes) and fluid animation there is a lot of redemption one can seek for the future of Star Trek because some people actually understand the heart and soul of the series and all the fans it inspired.
Superman: Man of Tomorrow (2020)
It avoid all the Get Woke Go Broke gimmicks.
This is a very contemporary interesting take on a being afraid of your heritage. Not only for immigrants but people with linage going back to days where things were different and what was not considered acceptable now, it was then. Basically, the main moral of the story is to try to listen to other people's prospective whether in the end you can understand it or not.
The other moral of the story is that although someone seems normal on the surface they maybe treading water like crazy. This is more directed to PTSD sufferers in the military illustrated as a dark, consuming forcing smothering you and turning you into a monster.
As for the art, although we can tell it obviously done on a tight budget hence the quality issues it does look like those mid 80s to early 90s Japanese drawn American action cartoons on Saturday morning.
The story is not too heavy handed in its messaging and it really takes a break from the typical SWJ nonsense you see DC and Marvel trying to push earlier in the year. In face it goes out of it way by showing Trying To Go Woke and You Will Go Broke by using Lois as an example what happens when progressive feminist messaging goes too far. She get played all the time. Because she thinks she is smart and entitled.
If you are looking for a breath of fresh air and more down to earth story telling and character interactions than from the other crap Marvel and DC were attempting to push on you then this is the show for you. Well for a good hour and half abouts.
Harley Quinn (2019)
It is dumb
What happens when you take all the writers from Archer, Family Guy, Rick and Morty and put them in a room? Well for one you won't get this unless it is every rejected writer from those shows.
Take the awesome adult DC animation movies series, cool cool. Now let's make it trash and humorous for 13 year olds.
Just an attempt at a quick money grab. It's like watching Kate and Ryan doing the 3 way sandwich with Star Wars.
Batman: The Killing Joke (2016)
It's a story of humanity and struggle.
Ah The Killing Joke. It is probably a better adaption of the source than the source itself.
Chronicling the struggles of our heroes Batman, Batgirl and the tragic Joker. The first part of the story deals with the relationship issues Batman has with all his sidekicks but throw in a sexual father figure issue and you get the idea with Bats and Barbara.
It heavily foreshadows the theme of the movie that you sometimes never always get what you want even when you got it no matter how perfect the opportunity is.
This goes for Barbara, Commissioner Gorgon, Bats and Joker. All that matters is when faced with that inevitable fact that you will have to make your decision and power through.
*Spoiler - Don't Read If You Haven't Watch It Yet*
Batman does kill the Joker in the end of the show. In a moment of sanity, Joker tells Bats 'it's far too late for that" in which you can see Batman grimaced. Joker than tells a joke (which was funny IMO) and laughs. Batman feels pity for the Joker and laughs at the as he rest his hand on Joker's shoulder. The camera cuts down and you only still hear Bats laughing still as he succumbs temporary the whole insanity of relationship and situation.
The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)
Don't hate for the sake of popularity.
Spoilers Ahead:
Some people seem to hate this film just because it is a teen flick. In actuality I found fairly entertaining especially since it was over 2 hours long.
So I am not not gonna rehash the story but comment on things I saw and the things I got when watching The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones.
1: Clary is a very confused girl that craved normality. Being the subject of mind wiping or brainwashing you kind of expect her seek normality that she was programmed to her entire life. Having lost her mother you will see moments of judgment lapse due to the extreme circumstances that occur around at such a short period of time and her inexperience of youth.
2: Jace is a conflicted guy, he hates himself. He hates himself because he is looking for companionship and he father has taught him that was a sign of weakness. His emotional outbursts and loftiness are all conflicts of his desires, conditioning and automatic defence to emotional pain.
3: Many aspects of the movie's multitude of monsters are not clearly explained because Clary herself is not interested and just want to get things done. So if Clary is not interested to expected the writers and direct to do expositions just to feel you in when they have already more or less told the audience that general pop culture concerning these monsters are correct to the story itself.
4: Weapons that the Shadowhunters carry are specific killing demons as that is what their Order does. Red crystals tattoo runes while the blue ones are enhanced with multiple spells for field work which only works when they make contact with an object like the red ones.
5: Clary has demon blood in her, hence the rune that can freeze demons. Her daddy-yo wanted her to drink his blood from the Immortal cup so that it can further infuse and enhance her powers in attempt to further put Shadowhunters on the same playing field as Angels I guess.
6: Werewolves although somewhat menacing in the second act of the show are not the werewolves of True Blood or any other of your favourite monster romance/drama show. Like the vampires they are generally weak especially compared to a demon. Which is why you heard of them scream they didn't bring equipment to stand toe to toe with demons. If half- angels need crystal swords and fire to deal with demons what good do you think tooth and claw is then?
Overall, when watching The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones just take it as you see it. I know some people will say that they need more info but really do you really when a movie to stop at every new monster or ability and start explaining what it is? Just sit back and let your mind escape.
I gave it an extra 1/2 star just for the haters.
Beware the Batman (2013)
Sometimes looking to being different loses sight of the core values.
It's very simple, Beware the Batman is an attempt at rebooting the series. Unfortunately, dialogue is not consistent of characters, weak or just plain stupid.
Plots themselves are pretty straight forward, you can see them a mile away. Then there is hardly any detective work from Bats himself. All of it is almost pushed to Alfred.
Animation is another issue, the feel of the quality of the models and movements gives the impression that this is a budget series, the ugly stepbrother that no one likes. Action sequence which makes up the other third of the show's content is in a word boring. There is hardly any tension or innovation in Batman's moves. It all feels like quick cuts from one move to another.
As a stand alone series it passable but if compared to Batman: The Original Series and even Batman Beyond it is sub-par.
The Croods (2013)
It seems to go no where fast.
Croods is an interesting show, you got extremely detailed environmental animation like dirt/dust on gathering and wiping off from our cast then you got ridiculous character designs of the creatures, landscape and of course the cast themselves.
The story follows the same route, in the beginning of the movie you got a retard rat race to get food that breaks any logical behavioral patterns of 'humans' and animals then you got the extremely intelligent scene where Eep first sees fire light and tries to capture it and understand it.
Croods then grinds these alternating themes of stark stupidity and intelligence (childishness and maturity) throughout every aspect of the movie.
The writers and producers should have decided to stick which way they wanted to go and not to mix and match to their whims and fancies. This major failing is why Croods will never be the enduring movie it was might be.
But take heart Grug's climax despite the questionable logic that he uses is very satisfying can, like I said, if the ending has a decent pay off you can forgive almost anything.
For those of you that can't stand this type of story telling consider The Croods like a tech demo, like my sister said, for the upcoming How To Train Dragon movie. It's visuals are simply stunning.
Defiance (2013)
Babylon 5 minus the space.
You got aliens. You got an alien world. You got cultural clashes. You got cowboys. Heck, you even got mechs and giant cyborgs (well alien cyborgs). What's missing is some space ships and a planet destroyer.
If that doesn't grab you then the acting will. It's neither bad or awesomely good but just right for this genre of show.
The special effects do boarder on passable to good for a TV series.
The thing to really look out for is the culture references of each race. Very, intricate but not at all boring. The language is also another point of interest as it doesn't feel out of place at all and the actors deliver the alien dialogue with confidence.
Basically, it comes down to that if you dig Babylon 5 and Halo you will love this. If you are hoping for space battles I don't see that until much later in the series episodes.
SyFy, for once you manage not to put out crap after that horrible last season of Battlestar.
Iron Man: Rise of Technovore (2013)
Another example why most Marvel animated series and movies are crap.
Where to begin? Whole story revolves around super-science bio-nano machines that can reconstitute themselves into any shape and are practically indestructible in this case armour.
The story is so drawn out that the seconds became minutes and the minutes hours. This instalment should have be regulated to a 20 minute episode. A best way to describe the torture of watching Technovore is to compare it to a late 60s to 70s Sci-Fi from Russia.
Then you got the dialogue which is god awful crap. It is so pretentious and boring. Half it sounds like those horrible anime dubs. While we are at it the voice acting also boarders on the same quality of those anime dubs. James C. Mathis III was the only one did a good job.
To sum it up it is the most unrealistic, illogical, boring, pretentious crap. Madhouse has yet to repeat their success for making an animated movie for the English market since Vampire Hunter D and their only good release after that was the Highlander direct to video movie.
Not even worth renting unless you are a die hard Iron Man or Madhouse fan.
Mass Effect: Paragon Lost (2012)
A non-fan review.
First off, let me state I only played half-way through the first game and didn't touch the second or third. I despise the cheap emotional and sex ploys employed in the game just to beef up a weak story.
So when watching this amerime my sister who is a bigger fan (1st and 2nd game and novel) sit with me so I can check with her some facts about the story.
So here is my impression and opinions of the Paragon Lost: The art was inferior to what other game franchises put out i.e. Halo. And sometimes highly inconsistent.
The director had either very bad storyboards or was left to his own imagination on how each scene was to be played out that you will encounter a lot anime art (gestures, postures) tropes you in fast and cheap anime series.
The story overall was dull and weak. There was not much on character backgrounds or settings and with even that it felt dragged out.
The voice acting ranged from OK (Freddie Prince Jr, Laura Bailey and Monica Rial) to 1990s-2000s style dubbing (Jad Saxton biggest offender no offence to her). I totally blame the voice director.
With all this in mind I would have right this movie a 3 or 4 but and there is a big but I follow one rule, "The end justifies the means." Which means that no matter crappy the beginning and middle of a story is, the ending if it is good will allow forgiveness for the rest.
And I must say the ending did not cop out despite the red herrings in the 1st and 2nd act would like you to believe. The ending shows a realistic and only logically conclusion to the time and situation present for that I am grateful.
If I would recommend this movie to buy it may, just maybe for the ending that is similar to the choices you have to make in the games time and again. But if you are not a fan then rent it. The ending is much better that most other sci-fi movies that have great 1st and 2nd acts but fails to pay off in the final 3rd act which always leaves me angry (like all the hype build up just to be disappointed when you finally see the crap product).
Ranma ½: Kessen Tôgenkyô! Hanayome o torimodose!! (1992)
Need a refresh after watching the Ranma TV series? This is it!
Ah Ranma, how much I love the manga and TV series as child. Sure the bare boobs and shapely behinds are part of the attraction to the series but underlying personality conflicts to obvious solutions is what makes the series such a fascinating watch.
But even at the time the TV series was ongoing the art and sound was a bit lacking in quality. So if you have finished re-watching or even watching the first time the Ranma TV series than Nihao My Concubine is a nice refresh.
The is still today of excellent quality and stands the test time with the style used (a more detail contouring of all the characters' body profiles). The music is lively and the voice energising. Best watched with English subs as the dubbing is not good even though the English voice actors do try their best with the lines given. Let's just say you find it hard to differentiate quality of the dialogue from let's say La Blue Girl.
Nihao My Concubine is probably one of the best examples of defining what Ranma is all about and the wackiness that goes with it. Although, Ranma is flashing boobs some of the time the other characters are still dressed and they are not drawn in overly suggestive poses. Think of how Runway and fashion magazines are shot.
Overall, an excellent anime to watch or to used to introduce someone to anime. Child safe despite the nudity which your kids have probably seen worse by cable TV or net.
Saw Dogs (2012)
It is real, no fluff just a lot of saw dust.
I don't know why people are giving this series crap ratings. It is one of those really good reality shows about an occupation that doesn't use drummed up drama as the main substance of the show.
What you get is just the right amount emotions, opinions, drama, methodology and reveal in a good 20 odd minutes. The carvers are entertaining by themselves plus the editing is tight that keeps the flow going without bogging down with melodrama that you see in a lot of other reality shows.
And if that is not really your thing then just watch it for the carvings, that in itself is well worth the time.
The Dinosaur Project (2012)
It ain't as bad as the whinners make it out to be.
A lot of people seem not to like this movie. I would say that if you watched in the cinema, yes, you are gonna be disappointed but on a DVD that is another matter.
It is slow paced but since the overall feel to be like a documentary then you understand the pacing.
The acting is good, a little cheesy from Matt Kane but in general his performance is passable.
The story in it's self is a little thin but what can you write about a bunch of people trapped in a jungle full of dinosaurs?
The special effects are very passable with the lighting and shadows on the CGI dinos was well done as so as not to look superimposed on screen for that little screen time they had.
Rent it, watch it with a bowl of popped c and chillex. There are worse crap out there like the new Conan movie.
Rob (2012)
Time Capsule Escapee
To describe this show one only needs to remember those old 90s sitcoms. Now remember all those god awful, diarrhea inducing shows. Now imagine the king of all those.
Now, imagine the king had a cross-eyed, hunchback, wart infested, odor factory, bastard brother that warms your salad by using his natural reserves of gas and lighter over the dinner table as you are about to eat it.
That is Rob. Somehow this 90s tardject has escaped to future and our only hope is that Doc Brown's Delorean takes Rob and the rest of this crap back to the beginning of the universe so it can be blown to smithereens.
Conan the Barbarian (2011)
Xena The Cimmerian
Marcus Nispel woke up one day and thought, "Shit, I want to make a Conan Remake!"
He planned the project along the lines, "We'll do it like Xena! It will be Xena but Conan. The script we can write in hour! And do the rewrites as we film each scene. Everyone must have a balloon of blood so when a feather touches them... splat!!! Brilliant eh? Acting?
"Just tell the actors to read the lines and show a little emotion in it. People come to see the balloon blood not the acting. The action sequences will be shot with a shaky documentary style. It will be cool. And in post we'll add in some special effects. No more than 100 grand. Can't look too extravagant! Music? Get a couple of monkeys on violins. This will be the best Xena episode ever! Ah, I mean Conan Movie."
Marcus Nispel, F U. Only other movie worse than this is Avatar: The Last Air Bender live action. Even Dragonball was more entertaining value that this piece of crap encrusted crap.
Better spend the afternoon watching the original Conan again. Hell, even Destroyer. Which is tons better production-wise and more is entertaining.
Workaholics (2011)
Copy-cat acting with weak jokes.
I only manage to watch 2 episodes from a friend and all one can say about Workaholics is it is passable.
IF Adam DeVine can stop thinking he is the next Jack Black. He is practically ripping off all of Jack's acting styles. It wouldn't be bad if it weren't, well, bad.
The gags similar to Tenacious D series, a little over top and lame but some how it comes off much worst.
The other actors make the show tolerable until Adam opens his mouth. Which then you want to smack your forehead or the back of his head with the horrible crap that he spews out.