Change Your Image
elsiebobek
Reviews
Sous la Seine (2024)
The shark was the heroine in this movie
The shark the expedition kept tracking was located in Hawaii, then conveniently ends up where the surviving scientist lives - in the river Seine. There's an "explanation" as to why and if you suspend your belief for a second there, you can just experience this as a slightly silly but still okay one-time watch. If "Bait" could have sharks roaming a flooded grocery store, France can have sweet water sharks.
Story: Far-fetched but fun enough.
Length: Could easily have been 20-25 minutes shorter.
Acting: Mediocre to good.
CGI: Not entirely realistic and partly gave 2000's videogame vibes. (For instance when the shark pulls Sophia far down into the deep sea in the first few minutes of the film.)
For the most part, however, it's good enough.
I think even more shocking than killer sharks under Paris was seeing the massive amounts of trash us humans pump into the ocean. Perspective. Didn't expect an aquatic horror movie to make me sad but here we are, fam.
Typical clichés include strong female protagonist having trauma that she overcomes by the end of the movie (if you think this is a spoiler you were probably born in the late 2000's) and they borrowed a bit from "Deep Blue Sea" with the abnormal evolution of super-shark Lilith, who, I guess, is kind of aptly named after Biblical Adam's first wife whom God cursed to become a ravenous monster/child eater because she refused to be subjugated by Adam.
Good shark movies live off of two things: the suspense (where is it?! When will it attack? How? From where?!) and great action (aarrghhh! Where's my leg! And so on). The suspense was there in the beginning, then is drawn out ad nauseam until there's nothing left of it. Activists debating endlessly how to save the shark and getting in the police's way...people diving under the Seine with no shark in sight...people walking through tunnels...then finally around the one hour mark: a fin! It is she! Great Lilith. And she brought her baby. Here's where Lilith earned her Biblical name cause she suddenly and without warning...eats it. Plus the annoying blue-haired activist, thank Gods for small miracles.
It takes another whopping 20 minutes to see another shark, or rather a whole school of sharks - Lilith's offspring - at the start of the triathlon. People die, there's a bomb, dramatic violins play as the police and military start firing machine guns into the water, half of Paris is somehow flooded...and still this was one of the most boring shark films I've ever watched.
The conclusion is that the sharks weren't just serial killers mindlessly ripping anyone to shreds they encountered but they wanted Paris flooded to live there. Um. Why? The Seine ends in the English channel. Lilith literally made it there and could have left anytime if this was a space issue. Also this implies more than a human-like intelligence but almost magical powers because how on earth would the shark know people have bombs and how they'd react to an aquatic threat of this magnitude? Come on. There's fiction and then there's nonsense. It had good elements but the fun(ny) parts were overshadowed by how seriously the movie took itself.
So in the end, this was another underwhelming shark film. Stick to the classics: The Shallows, the first two 47 Meters Down movies, Deep Blue Sea, Bait, Jaws, The Reef and if you feel goofy, The Meg.
Abigail (2024)
Mindless fun
Girl is abducted.
Girl turns out to be actual villain.
People start dying Slasher-style.
Oh look, it was all a set-up all along.
Dan Stevens is even hot when wearing uglifying makeup and glasses.
Papa Dracula pays a visit after the bloodbath.
The end.
There's really not much more to say about this movie. It consists of a lot of running around in an abandoned mansion, more than your fair share of blackened horror blood, and somehow Kevin Durand is always cast as the mentally challenged character that makes things even worse thanks to his brutishness. (Playing Odin on Vikings must have been the highlight of this man's career, man...) And something something girl power blah. It's predictable in every way but good enough fun for a Friday night.
The Silence (2019)
Would have needed a sequel in order to deserve a higher rating
This was a fine and darkly atmospheric apocalyptic movie that had some obvious elements from "The Birds" and combined them with more modern dystopian themes, which worked exceptionally well. The premise reminded me of "Reign of Fire" but the movie ultimately developed quite differently.
The slower bits were eerie and suspenseful, and the action was well placed throughout the film.
I loved the element of the family we followed knowing ALA and the daughter being so perceptive that despite her deafness, she knew how to read her dog (hair standing up on their back for instance) and act on it. This was also a family that trusted and loved each other; very refreshing to see that they didn't add unnecessary drama with infighting and stupid decisions. This was a rather smart family.
Kiernan Shipka and Stanley Tucci were perfectly paired and a joy to watch, and I wish they'd had even more scenes together. Although not often given a chance, Tucci plays a great family man, which he already proved in "Easy A." Miranda Otto complemented the cast nicely. During the shoot, Miranda and Kiernan already knew each other from "Chilling Adventures of Sabrina" that was running concurrently, so they had a very comfortable and natural/familial chemistry.
Unless you're a scientist, it was easy enough to accept the plot as is: bad things happen. Now people must escape. (Religious) people go bonkers (oh, the surprise...) and add mayhem to the madness. Let's address some of the nonsensical criticisms:
1. There are creatures still being discovered in this day and age that live in the deep sea or in inaccessible places on earth or just below the earth; this includes cave systems. A cave system is also not the same as a little cave. So hypothetically, especially for the sake of a movie, this isn't too far-fetched in the slightest. If you don't like speculative fiction, don't watch fiction movies and stick to documentaries. Very simple.
2. Hmm. Would people really act as ruthlessly, as frantically in times of crisis. Let me think. No, of course everyone acted completely rationally during COVID! There's nothing out of the ordinary buying up toilet paper until it had to be rationed, totally normal that studies found it made people far more volatile and also more - here's where we get to number three -
3. Religious. Religious zealots virtually live for a catastrophe to happen so it will prove to them they/their deity/holy books were right. Yet again, in times of COVID religiosity skyrocketed in comparison to the years, yes, decades even, prior to the event. And if you look up contemporaneous articles, you'll easily find that there were more than a handful of people with very deluded ideas about what the pandemic meant, what should be done, and so forth.
Lastly, this movie did NOT rip off "A Quiet Place." This movie here is based on the book of the same name by Tim Lebbon which came out in 2015.
So many misconceptions and "opinions" based on hot air.
It's a strange development that nowadays the trend is to not really...finish a movie. It's hip to leave it open-ended to a degree where it feels cut off in the middle without any satisfaction, without much hope for the protagonists or at least wrapping the one or other storyline up.
Here it was similar. I guess you could say there was a "trend" towards what the end could be but it fell flat for me.
If not for that, the movie easily would have been an 8-9 for me. Wrap up your movies, folks, or make sure the audience knows this is only part 1!
Fractured (2019)
A mindbend for young or inattentive viewers
They snagged two quality actors with Sam Worthington and Lily Rabe, and the initial family scenes drew me in. Worthington does well as the slightly gruff yet still caring dad.
Alas... I grew up in a movie-obsessed 70's household and my lasting lifelong obsession already made me correctly guess the ending of "Fractured," while watching the trailer. Plus...the title?! Literally gives the supposed plot twist away.
So it's not because I'm smarter than anyone else, it's really just because of experience and paying attention to small details:
Imagine a hospital that runs an organ trafficking ring in such a way that it becomes obvious to an observing patient's father (scene outside hospital after the family arrives). Then the hospital abducts the wife and little daughter but not the dad. If he didn't qualify for an involuntary organ donation, they'd at least have lured him someplace away from prying eyes to permanently get rid of him. What organ trafficking hospital wants an enraged and panicked person running around the hallways screaming bloody murder?! Even if the local police were in on the gig, this modus operandi would have led to a swift investigation by reporters, the FBI, local hobby sleuths...it's simply ludicrous.
Another element was that we saw the signs of the father's psychosis early on while waiting for his family; he sees a magazine with the headline "Learn to see the signs" (or something to this extent anyway) and then what I call the "mentall illness"-movie indicators all flash across the screen: Weirdly ticking clock, something wrong with the TV, signs, so his visual and auditory perception.
It's always the same thing. Just as in possession Horror you always have the same repeats (creepy kids, animals going haywire, crucifixes rotating by themselves, etc, pp...)
All this being said, this was still a thrilling watch. It was uncomfortable, emotionally claustrophobic and and weirdly depressing (I guess the grayish color palette/filter also greatly helped in this regard).
Atlas (2024)
Actiontainment meets philosophical musings
The entertainment factor of this movie was a solid 10.
The CGI was surprisingly good, or at least far better than I had anticipated.
I enjoyed that the movie didn't waste much time with a tedious set-up and found a way to incorporate protagonist Atlas' background story with quick flashbacks.
The action is nicely interspersed with philosophical questions about what constitutes life if A. I. can sense ("feel") and people are programmed to act ot think in certaon ways via their DNA, upbringing, military training et al. Add to that that even rewilded animals act on instinct ("programming") and things can get complex. The message was more that life is versatile and not necessarily for humans to define or lord over.
Of course, any movie with this topic always reminds of Battlestar Galactica. With the reboot show already being 20 years old, I have to say Atlas does bring a lot of new elements, questions and issues to the table.
As so often, I thought it could have been shorter. Length does not equal quality. I feel like filmmakers increasingly ignore or forget this simple fact.
For the main duration of the movie, Jennifer Lopez virtually has no one to play off of. She's alone in a robot-shell and has to pretend she's talking to and hearing him. (The A. I. robot's responses were added in post production.) This makes her performance even more impressive to me. There was one reviewer who clained she was walking around as if she had sticks for legs. So for those who didn't pay attention and then unfairly rated/reviewed: Lopez' character Atlas was gravely injured and in great pain while trying to survive in a hostile and strange world. The only way to do that is to work with A. I. despite her understandable hatred of it. So her alleged constant whining/crying/agonized face is quite understandable in that light. She did a pretty fantastic job, all these things considered.
Brand New Cherry Flavor (2021)
Differs greatly from the book
I always like to give screen adaptations a shot. With some, it is easy to see and enjoy them as separate from the source material because despite major changes, they have a strong story.
Brand New Cherry Flavor differed greatly from the novel, and I don't feel that all changes were beneficial for the project.
Starting with the fact that the show tried desperately to show that Lisa Nova had integrity because she rejected the abusive advances of Lou Burke, and yet, in the book, Lisa absolutely sells herself on various levels. This is also realistic in light of the story being set in the early nineties, so some 25 years before #metoo. I felt that there was some silwnt condemnation towards all the poor eager young women who had been coerced or felt the need to sacrifice on a most personal and painful level for their dreams by altering this element of the show. Because the point in the book was that even IF you engage, men will still always screw you over. You will always lose as a woman playing THEIR game, which is why you need to tap into your own female power. (In this case witchcraft/folk magic served as a metaphor for that.)
Directly tied to this issue is that in the book, Boro is a man. Did they turn him into a woman because they wanted more female leads or because there was a more or less covert/unintentional misogynistic intent? (One of the producers was a woman, hence the deliberation of it having been unintentional.) Either way, it's difficult to discern because the point in the book was very much that men pose the ultimate and only true danger to women. Traces of that remain in the show: Boro isn't naturally magical but needs to steal power from the one creature that serves as a general metaphor for femininity and women in psychology and mythology: the cat.
(If you don't believe me, just read Dr. Schlesinger and others' insight into why serial killers all started out torturing kittens in their youth.)
So on the show we have women stealing from women, defying the actual point.
Although I greatly dislike this significant change, the show is still engaging, dark, partly gory and quite gruesome on an emotional level. It's overall well done and can stand on its own as a 90's Folk Horror tale.
Two more issues yet remain. Firstly, the show ends abruptly without a satisfying conclusion to all issues and questions. Because...it doesn't actually even cover the whole book. I looked and apparently a second season was never even planned in the first place, which makes it all the more baffling to me.
Lastly, while the first 2-3 episodes are the strongest, the rest slowly but steadily fall apart. They're drawn out, there's a backstory of how Lisa Nova isn't so unlike Lou Burke because she herself screwed over the actress of her short film (more women vs women storylines, sigh).
Still, if you look past all that and radically pretend there is no book, this is a fun watch. The world building is solid. Catherine Keener always had a mystique about her (see Living In Oblivion) that is ideal for her version of Boro.
And Rose Salazar plays every emotion of her character so convincingly that I felt not just for but with her and even cried with her.
Fans of Criminal Minds may recognize Lou (Eric Lange with a really weird and unnecessary wig). This is a drastically different role as the one he nailed on CM, so it was great to see his acting ability as the sleazy, feigned upbeat and self-assured Hollywood hotshot.
Creep Nation (2019)
Watch "Ratter" instead
This movie could have been amazing. Anything involving the dark web either terrifies (Dark Web and Dark Web: Unfriended), intrigues (Silk Road) or at least amuses (Dark Web: Cicada 3301)...right? Well. Not in this case. The only intrigue here is how it was possible to make a movie with this theme that yet had me doze off twice. (My own snoring woke me up the second time around.)
The acting isn't bad at all. There are some unusual shots and perspectives I liked, and the score/music was spot on for me. However, if you like creepy web-stalker/watcher movies, I recommend Ratter instead. Or any of the above mentioned films for dark web aficionados.
Creep (2004)
I laughed so hard I had an asthma attack
This is by far one of the most embarrassingly bad movies I've ever seen in my half a century on planet Earth.
Quite sad, really, because the premise of, young woman gets trapped somewhere dark and labyrinthic, only to be chased by a killer usually always works. (See P2 et al.) It's predictable and that's okay because there are limited things you can do with that type of slasher.
The beginning was too drawn out and the beginning (in the tunnel) kind of irrelevant. All in all this 80-minute long film felt at least 20 minutes too long to me.
Franka Potente isn't exactly horrible but always reliably mediocre in a boring German way.
The other actors are fine. *inhales* EXCEPT for...the killer. By the way, I'm giggling as I'm writing this. Because I simply can't understand how this not only had to be a quasi supernatural being (definitely superhuman strength and a weirdly vampiric-looking mutated face and body, think Gary Oldman in Bram Stoker's Dracula) but he had to sound like a Pterodactyl on top of that. No, you don't understand, this isn't an exaggeration, okay. PTERODACTYL. NOISES. I felt like they'd put the audio track for "A Land Before Time" on this bizarre B Horror movie. I laughed as soon as he came on and never stopped again.
One point for the inhuman screecher (I hope his vocal chords are okay) and one star for the cinematography which wasn't too shabby.
Californication (2007)
Gagworthy attempt at being the male version of "Sex and the City"
Clearly, I'm in the minority and will be downvoted for my views, but I have rarely felt so repulsed by a show, and this although I rarely have overly negative emotional reactions to art of any kind.
For starters, Californication, to me, felt as though it was trying hard to be the male version of "Sex and the City," which, after all, had concluded just three years prior. This endeavor appears ludicrous at best and hypocritical at worst, because I remember very vividly how liberating to women SATC was. It was the reclaiming of our sexuality and freedoms to choose. Men as a collective have NEVER at any given point in time struggled with the backlash to live freely as a sexual being because there simply is no backlash. Yet on Californication, the women are painted as nags and hysterics because they dislike their spouses' various cheating sexcapades - one more depraved and dubious than the other. Adding to that, the women are depicted as hypocritical because they then "get revenge" (or at times closure) by engaging in the same behavior. It's a weird freaking show.
I understand that Hollywood is a cesspool, and perhaps showing the details (sex, drugs and rock 'n roll) served some purpose to many people in creative industries and the relating lifestyle but I just found it repulsive. I'm no prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I felt like I needed Jesus (and really, the combined firepower of saving grace of all Gods and Ascended Masters) afterwards.
How this was even made and was a critically acclaimed show is only explicable to me due to the fact it was made in the 2000's when trash TV, statutory rape, ableism, body shaming, dubious stances towards trans identities and other by now conventionally more frowned upon behavior were not just the norm, but in fact regarded as "cool."
The 16-year old female CHILD Mia (Madeline Zima) is painted as a vengeful, mentally ill and promiscuous Lolita while all the men who could almost be her grandfather that engage in intimate encounters with her are very clearly presented as victims, too powerless to resist a CHILD, and too powerless to avenge their alleged metaphorical injuries BY said CHILD.
The 12-year old daughter of the main character Hank Moody (David Duchovny) conveys that she is well informed on all matters drugs, sex as well as specifically and explicitly her father's adventurous sex life. Ironically enough, this child behaves more like an adult than the adults around her do. (At least up until and including season 2. I decided I had poisoned my mind enough to keep watching after that.)
So what can you expect from this show, other than unrelatable and irredeemable characters. Hm. Well, for starters, there's people puking all over each other while having private encounters, a threesome between Hank and his agent/brother-type best friend that even topped the cringe factor of Kanye West's existence, and just things that serve to make celibacy appear in a new and glowing light.
I will say that the acting was mostly superb. A star for that, the choice of songs (and scores) as well as the cinematography. Other than that, I don't see how this could be even just marginally entertaining, or in any way enriching to someone's life.
Late Night with the Devil (2023)
Entertaining, though still a sad misrepresentation of James Randi and the First Church of Satan
Although I'm not happy with the way this movie mockingly misrepresented the amazing work and personality of James Randi (named Carmichael Haig in the film) and the First Church of Satan, it was entertaining to me. I did my best to ignore the subtle swipes up until what to me was a somewhat disappointing ending. Because here, Haig renounces everything he stands for and calls upon the Christian God to help him as he burns to death. Laughably offensive.
From a Horror perspective, I understand why they went that way because it was bizarre and brutal; sadly it was also just clichéd and not very inventive, falling right into the "Christianity is right" trap/trope. Tedious and overdone at best and in this case declaring science, reason and logic (along with James Randi's lifelong efforts to debunk charlatans) nil and void.
Of course, as hardcore Horror buffs are already declaring this a modern classic, my review will be downvoted because of reasonable criticism and a nuanced approach to rating it. This is the nature of such platforms.
The performances by everyone were stellar. David Dastmalchian once more showcased his versatility and depth, particularly as the storyline around his wife was explored, and the actors were well chosen for the real life personalities they were (more or less loosely) based on.
In short, Szandor D'abo (conveniently pronounced Dee-abo, supposed to remind of "Diablo" - devil) of course was based on Anzon Szandor LaVey, founder of the First Church of Satan. It's frustrating that over 55 years after it was founded, the misconceptions around its brand of Satanism still remain, and the viewers may now associate it with horrendous crimes. Well then. The movie goes on to blend a little bit of Seventh Day Adventist offshoot cult leader David Koresh's Waco disaster (the stand-off and fire) with long disproven "ritual abuse-Satanism" à la "Michelle Remembers." Of course Lilly (Ingrid Torelli) is loosely based on Michelle Smith. In real life, her overly Catholic psychiatrist Lawrence Pazder, for those who didn't watch the documentary "Satan Wants You," not only implanted false memories into Michelle's mind but seriously went on to marry her. In the movie, Lilly is still a teen child and a Dr. June Ross-Mitchell (Laura Gordon) has become sort of a motherly figure to her, so there's a different kind of transference and counter-transference happening as in the real life case. Lilly/Mr. Wiggles' nod to "The Exorcist" was nicely done and surely appreciated by old Horror hounds.
Of course you can't simply ignore master manipulator Uri Geller, whose name in the movie is Christou (Fayssal Bazzi), although he wasn't quite as important a character.
One thing I found intriguing is that the movie never once felt as though it had lengths despite there only being one set, one location. That was a big plus and quality writing. The costume department did an amazing job, and the film really does look as if it was actually filmed in the 1970's because of the faded colors, lighting etc.
As mentioned previously, as for entertainment, it certainly ticked all the boxes - boxes that have been ticked countless times before. I rather enjoyed it but I won't simply ignore its disappointing flaws.
Speed (1994)
They don't make 'em like this anymore
The story is simple enough at first glance, but it's amazing what writer(s) and director did with it.
I first watched this when it came out and remember that I thought this was finally a realistic film in terms of not everyone being white. There wasn't as much diversity in film and the arts in the 90's as there is nowadays. So this is something that always stuck with me.
Another element is that we have not only a dauntless but incredibly unorthodox and quick-witted hero. Jack (Keanu Reeves) shoots the hostage, Jack gets off the freeway and onto the airport where air traffic is restricted and news helicopters can't follow, rendering the bomber blind. I loved that we finally had protagonists who make smart decisions because it's another rarity in Hollywood movies.
Annie (Sandra Bullock) is a great match for Jack. Where everyone else lost their heads after the bus driver was shot, she got behind the steering wheel. Her level-headedness was so refreshing to see in an industry that, at that time, usually portrayed women as damsels in distress. But Annie was a bada$$ through and through.
This is an action film but in most other movies in this genre the action is interspersed throughout the film. Here, there truly is never a dull minute. Speed keeps you in suspense without ever letting up and casts you from one action sequence into the next.
That, at the same time, there is a comprehensive plot and we get to know the characters (main and side) so well is nothing short of masterpiece writing and acting.
Bound to Vengeance (2015)
Two shocking twists. One only due to disappointment.
It's wrong to say I enjoyed this movie because the subject matter of human (really: female) trafficking isn't exactly enjoyable, and although there's no assault depicted, some of the flashback and current scenes were quite intense. If you are a survivor of some kind, be mindful this could affect you in some way.
But "Bound To Vengeance" kept me engrossed all throughout.
I found the revenge angle quite understandable and not at all far-fetched. I read some reviews by people complaining that survivors of brutal violence and sufferers of PTSD wouldn't act like that, which is complete nonsense. If you suffer from the affliction or have even just basic psychological training, you are aware that there are many ways in which we may act or not, stop speaking for a whole group of people you don't even belong to.
Furthermore, the reason for the protagonist taking matters into her own hands is explained within the last handful of minutes. It is indeed a heartbreaking motivation, shedding light on the terrible guilt she feels.
The performances are solid. It's a bit uncomfortable to know that the male antagonist apparently has a long police record with charges such as burglary/robbery, physical harassment and other niceties. I guess he didn't have to do any research for his role at least...
The female lead is relatable. She is all raw nerves; anger, pain, vulnerability and resolve all rolled into one.
From hereon out, SPOILERS, SPOILERS, SPOILERS!
.
.
.
The unfortunate incidents involving the other women's deaths, directly and indirectly caused by the survivor, came as a shock.
Far greater even was the revelation that her boyfriend was the lure for both her and her sister. Gut punch galore.
But the one disappointing and entirely unfathomable twist was the ending. What on earth happened here. I've rarely seen a film fall so flat within just two minutes that it spoiled the entire watch enough to deduct several stars.
The ending is left open and unsatisfactory. Did she return to kill the ring leader or also his (innocent) family? Why did she initially let him go in the first place? Because he may have given her more names, info, cash, as promised? That doesn't seem to fit her personality.
It was just weird. A weird and undeserving ending for an otherwise good film.
Battlestar Galactica: Sometimes a Great Notion (2009)
Quo vadis, Leoben?
This episode is bittersweet on so many levels. Firstly, there is the disappointment over Earth being an uninhabitable wasteland. But without discovering it, the Final Five would not have been able to reconnect with their memories. So far so good.
Far more tragic is the revelation centered around Kara Thrace's two month disappearance. And here is where it gets odd. Leoben Conoy's reaction to it.
Let's remember: Number Two is the man who inexplicably knew Kara inside out, including her deepest pain, shame and misdeeds. He knew her destiny and was virtually obsessed with both it and her alike, even telling her in a moment of nice foreshadowing, "I see an angel blazing with the light of God." He knew his fate was somehow connected with her and that he was a type of guide. He believed in it so strongly that he held her captive on New Caprica in season 3 to break through her rejection and reluctance. So there was no way, EVER, that he would have been dissuaded as easily as in this episode.
For now that Starbuck is revealed to actually be an angel, Leoben...leaves. He's horrified and claims he was wrong about her, about everything. Like, WHAT?!
It appears as though he had lost his faith, which is so unrealistic for this character if you paid attention to how deeply spiritual and faithful he was. Plus here he finally saw his visions and interpretations of the Hybrid confirmed! And yet he abandons Kara entirely.
I literally screamed at the screen the first time I watched this scene and felt they did Leoben and Kara pretty dirty here because many of us had had higher hopes for these two and their spiritual connection.
Of course, there is a real life angle to this whole mess: During the 2008 writers strike, it was unclear what would happen to what magnitude with certain characters, and ultimately Callum Keith Rennie signed on to play Californication, not being able to return for the second half of BSG which had finally settled on wanting to give him a big part in the second half of season 4.
Somehow, the writers now had to quickly write him out, and I guess this was all they could come up with. Which is a shame. But to say it in Casablanca terms, "We'll always have New Caprica," (and the "paint scene") I guess.
Argylle (2024)
Stranger Than Fiction meets Chuck
Sometimes I wonder about how miserable viewers have become over the years. That it needs pointing out this movie is deliberately silly and unrealistic, poking fun at itself and the whole genre, is incredibly sad.
It's a spy *comedy* and if one knows the history of those, they have always been completely over the top. That's exactly which makes them so fun! They're an escape into a world in which struggle and secrecy are met with humor and the reward is a happy end.
So yes, you'll see unrealistic fight and action scenes, which, by the way, were amazingly choreographed and performed, and there will be shocking twist after twist, far-fetched as they may be. But they were also incredibly cleverly written.
Argylle is a mix of the movie "Stranger Than Fiction" and the TV show "Chuck." (Remember Chuck and how everyone tripped over their own feet praising it for everything people on here criticize Argylle for? Yeah...)
I loved the 2000's throwback oversaturated colors and cinematography, too. The colorful dancing scene (I'll word it this way to avoid spoilers) was so much fun to watch and the music perfectly chosen. The same goes for the oil scene, which reminded me of "The Transporter" movie with Jason Statham.
At about 1 hour 30 in it had a segment that could easily have been shortened, in my view. Otherwise it was a wonderfully mood-lifting flick with brilliant acting. Sam Rockwell outperformed himself, even though he had a similar role in "Mr. Right."
And Henry Cavill was more of a repeat-cameo but played his part to perfection.
The leading lady, Bryce Dallas Howard, was a refreshing addition also because she isn't an early 20's Twiggy type and her transformation was well acted.
Battlestar Galactica: Pegasus (2005)
Powerful episode depicting the horrors of power corruption
This is a strong episode filled with more spiritual (particularly Biblical, i.e. Admiral Cain) references.
It comes shortly after D'Anna Biers' documentary that originally sought to portray the crew of Battlestar Galactica as callous, monstrous and lacking a conscience. In this episode, with the introduction of the Pegasus, we see what that would actually look like.
The abuse of prisoners is realistically depicted in all its hideousness. It's painful to watch and important to see to understand these things aren't just happening in a sci fi show but still happen every day because people like Cain and her aubordinates still exists in places of power. To criticize showing reality is misguided.
I'm also amused by the opinion that the two crews couldn't be different because they had the same schooling. REALLY. Here's a great example: Donald Trump (who needs no further introduction) is a Wharton graduate, but so is fashion entrepreneur Anand Ahuja. I think few would disagree that the two could not BE more different from each other.
What Jennifer Did (2024)
Use of A.I. generated images in deceptive manner and stolen content from hobby YouTuber
Attentive people noticed that there was something amiss with images used for this "documentary." As always, it was the fingers and hair first giving it away and later research confirmed it: The "documentary" makers created A. I. images of a happy Jennifer throwing peace signs to indicate she was unbothered by the attack on her parents. This is shameful and dangerous both, as it falsifies reality.
There is no doubt Jennifer planned this heinous crime but that information, along with ACTUAL evidence, must be enough. What about other cases? Cases still on trial, or being investigated? There have been documentaries about ongoing and active cases, after all. Added issues are trial by media resulting in biased juries, and/or the fact that judges may be up for re-election and feel pressured to come to a certain verdict, all directly influenced by A. I. lies. We have already seen this type of corruption (Menendez case/Judge Weisberg) without A. I. and the latter may make things far worse because the more this technology advances, the more difficult it will be to tell the difference between fact and fabrication. Such images or even deep-faked video footage can severely impact a case to a magnitude we can't even fully calculate yet, in terms of ultimate ripple effect and results.
So yes, here comes a new low of people feigning to show us the unadulterated truth. The old adage "An image says more than a thousand words" has never fully held true to begin with but has now lost all meaning. I hope laws will be put in place to prevent misleading viewers and steering opinions in that manner in the future.
Also, and this has been said multiple times, the whole crockumentary was a sad and unsuccessful rip-off of the brilliant YouTube channel JCS Psychology whose creator both examined the case as well as the young offender's mental state. (The latter which this "documentary" entirely neglected.)
To steal for monetary gain from a little YouTube channel is embarrassing enough but that with all that fantastic source material the end product was but a tedious, excruciatingly boring (and thanks to the A. I. issue factually dubious) affair is simply unforgivable.
Living with the Dead (2002)
Lie-opic of unparalleled sadism
It's incredibly sad that a proven fraud, who has played with people's most vulnerable emotions centered around loss and grief, got his own pseudo-biopic. It's a lie-opic, really.
Even sadder is that celebrities with this reach and level of influence (Ted Danson, Queen Latifah and Mary Steenburgen) gave their names to support this train wreck of a production.
Verifiably, Van Praagh did NOT ever solve any cases for law enforcement. Verifiably, Van Praagh was analyzed, tested and debunked with scientific methods.
A better watch than this movie would be all of James Randi's videos debunking mediums and psychics, showing in detail how, with hot and cold readings, mentalism, showmanship, psychology, and subtle coercion, such conmen appear to know so much about our deceased loved ones as well as ourselves. And they all do it for large sums of money.
Even Derren Brown did a whole special on debunking an alleged medium.
This movie is the cherry on top of Van Praagh's sadistic cruelty towards deeply hurt and struggling people.
The way this movie depicts the protagonist as this meek, reluctant teddy bear type with a heart of gold is even more perplexing if you know Van Praagh and his methods as well as the lack of empathy and absence of a conscience it takes to go through with what he does to people.
Bottom line: An absolutely disgusting movie.
Intrusion (2021)
One major logic flaw
It didn't matter to me that I knew from the get-go where this movie was headed; there's only so much you can do in terms of storylines and surprise twists, particularly when it comes to Thrillers.
BUT. The biggest issue was with the fact that the abducted woman's father helped build the house...yet didn't think to check the secret basement underneath the office of the man he had claimed had creepily eyed his daughter shortly before her disappearance?! Him and his boy were just aimlessly trashing/searching the house instead.
Alternatively, they could have also just gone to the police. Now granted, the dad did say on the video he knew the police thought him and his family "were trash" but it's a missing person's case. The police will have questioned them to try and clear them. And dad didn't think to mention the eerie employer who'd serial killery lusted after his daughter?! This massive plot hole made me deduct some stars unfortunately. The acting is solid, particularly by Logan Marshall-Green.
There were a few scenes and info that added nothing to the plot, although it became clear this was added to try and give the wife some depth and likeability. Instead I would have liked to see more of the husband's background and how he became this way.
Nowhere (2023)
A steel shipping container CAN float
A steel shipping container may float at sea despite what anyone else in this review section may claim, so to rate this movie one star because of that is ludicrous. And here is how this works:
Containers will eventually sink as they are not completely watertight. The timespan of sinkage depends on the the type of container, its permeability and the cargo itself. Some containers sink immediately, while there are stories of containers floating across the Atlantic - in one case, taking 15 months to cross the Atlantic from the Caribbean to Spain. Once in the sea, water will enter through vents and seals. However, containers laden with lightweight, low density and buoyant cargo can float for years even when holed and waterlogged. The cargo itself may have enough uplift to keep the container unit afloat. I gathered this info from various shipping container websites.
Here's what was less realistic: Cell reception in the middle of the ocean. It IS a Dystopian world, so we'll just go with - in the future that is possible. Who knows, 25 years ago teachers told me I wouldn't have a calculator wherever I go and now we all have cell phones that prove that theory wrong.
The only serious issue that you couldn't argue away was really that mother and newborn would with almost certainty died of hypothermia.
I did laugh out loud when the whale came to "save the day." That was a bit much.
Otherwise an okayish movie. Great premise, exscution so-so. It did have its lengths and should, in my view, have been at least half an hour shorter.
The Reef: Stalked (2022)
Slow but watchable
One star for the water bubbles which were so incredibly hard at work covering the shark enough that we hardly ever even get a glimpse of it. And if we do, it's just the fin or a shadow. I guess there wasn't a budget for CGI. That's okay, and that wouldn't have been a problem, but the lack of a story is one.
I appreciate they tried to give at least one of the characters a backstory, but firstly that one took up too much time, and also if that's all there is and the other characters are cardboard cut-outs, well...it just doesn't work too well.
The acting wasn't great. Example: the mom who watched her child be thrown into the water with the shark and didn't instinctively shriek, cry, run to get a weapon and then plunge herself into the water to save her kid (I mean, harpoons and stuff do exist...). She was just standing there wide-eyed, seemingly half-bored encouraging her offspring: "Swim faster!" Gee, thanks, mom.
Now, a few people noted they didn't think sharks behaved like this, meaning the stalking. But if you watch shark documentaries, they do. There are also different survivor accounts of how their dinghy was followed by a shark and he got them one by one. And it's known that just like serial killers sharks return to places where they were successful before. So this part was realistic at least.
The last 20-30 minutes are probably where most of the suspense happens, though not to the degree of the first Reef movie (which is truly awesome), or other rightfully successful shark movies, because once you finally get to see the whole shark (especially in the shot where his head surfaces above water) you can tell these are archive footage bits, probably from some documentary. Again, this isn't necessarily terrible, just very noticeable and took away from the danger factor.
The end "fight" was okay though.
Overall a bit slow and the constant flashback scenes were a tad distressing, in my view.
The Requin (2022)
Scary mainly due to the horrific acting
I can't remember if Alicia Silverstone could ever act because it's too long I've seen her in anything. Overacting doesn't even begin to describe it. Truth be told, I have no idea what she was doing in this movie, other than screech like a bat, and I guess when she scrunched up her face it was supposed to be crying. I felt second-hand embarrassment all over the place while watching this movie, and she was largely what made the film as unbearable as it is. But halt, there's more.
First of all, I like the general premise of a tropical storm sweeping a little hotel hut into the ocean and the characters having to try and survive. But this was more a marital drama (and a weird one) rather than an action flick. There was mainly just boring conversations, accusations and screeching by Silverstone. What should have been the movie's strongest selling point and main focus merely served as backdrop. I felt like I was watching the ocean edition of some Jane Austen movie.
The CGI was cringeworthy. The very few times the shark was actually shown, I thought I could have drawn a better one. The ultimate jumping the shark moment - literally, no, listen, I mean literally - occurred when the shark jumped up out of the water like a dolphin and came at Silverstone in her little dingy, snapping at her like a rabid dog. It wasn't just that it was ridiculous and unrealistic but it just didn't seem to fit with a movie which had tried hard to be a drama, to be taken seriously and even added a lengthy tragic backstory so people could "relate" amid the sparse and far-fetched action bits.
James Tupper, why are you in movies like this, sigh. Tupper is a really solid actor, he simply deserved better. Kudos to him for spending months with someone screeching at him at the top of their lungs. I hope he's not deaf or suffers from PTSD after that experience.
Angel: Blood Money (2001)
Nice Easter Egg
I'm surprised so many people did not pay enough attention to realize the major Easter Egg in this episode, the true motivation for Angel to return to his friends: The head of the homeless shelter who now goes by Anne.
In Buffy The Vampire Slayer, she went by the name "Chanterelle," and was part of a vampire cult, briefly meeting Angel in Sunnydale. She reappeared in BTVS season 3 when Buffy went by her middle name Anne while waitressing in L. A., ultimately asking Buffy if she could borrow that name to use it for herself. "Anne" even mentions meeting Angel years ago but obviously neither of them recognize the other.
Angel once helped her turn her life around and now she is doing the same for him. Without "Anne," he wouldn't have reconnected with his friends. This is a very sweet little episode, plus it has Mark Rolston (Alastair in SPN) in it too, so great fun all around!