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- Gladys Zell, besides being a nurse, was a heart breaker. Simple Jinx, the janitor, was her latest conquest. Dr. Soakum, head of the day nursery, was old in years, but young in experience, so he took a flying leap into Glady's heart. It was circus day in kiddie land, and Mrs. Washington Mint, a millionairess, brought her little heiress to the nursery, while she went out to do a day's washing. Dr. Soakum entered the nursery to deposit his new charge, when a love scene enacted by Miss Gladys and Mr. Jinx hit him in the eye. Dr. Soakum fired Simple Jinx. Jinx espied a baby carriage with some baby clothes in a yard opposite. A big idea struck the great lover. With the assistance of Fatty Lard, Simple Jinx managed to ride his way into the nursery. When Gladys kissed the sweet thing she recognized Jinx's brand. Down in the underworld a storm was brewing. They had to make a haul somewhere, so they selected the little heiress. Planting a live dairy inside a milk wagon, Terrible Ike, the King of the Roughnecks, comes to sell milk to the nursery. In the confusion Terrible Ike grabbed the baby heiress and the pretty nurse, and rode off, followed by Jinx, who had managed to extricate himself from the hole in the wall. Jinx overhears the gang planning to hold the heiress for ransom, and, accidentally pushing his head through the wall, bids Terrible Ike the time of the day. Jinx was choked and bound to a chair, and Gladys, blindfolded, was forced to operate a sewing machine near a barrel of dynamite. A burning candle attached to the thread of the machine was the means to the end. As she sat there sewing the burning candle kept coming nearer and nearer the barrel of dynamite. The frantic mother was notified, and together with Dr. Soakum they rescue the baby and the two lovers in the neck of time, but the gang would not be foiled, so they followed the fugitives in a fast Ford. Simple Jinx, who rode off on a bicycle, reached a bridge, and lassoing the nurse and baby, rescued them from the gang. Moving Picture World, December 8, 1917
- Kid Cameraflage, the Chief's chauffeur, was secretly married to the maid. She had promised to take good care of him before he married her, but everything was different now, for he was made to do the menial work and become a full-fledged kitchen mechanic to meet the high cost of living. The Chief and his wife were happy. They had a battle every other minute. The Chief gets an order from the Mayor, advising him that all blackhanders must be clean-shaven. This aggravates one of the blackhanders, who picks himself out a well-fed bomb, and wends his weary way to the office of the Mayor. Kid Cameraflage, whose duties varied, was lining up the cuspidors, when he spied the bomb nestling in one of them. Everyone looked on to see the Kid's finish, but picking the bomb up courageously, he flung it out of the window, hitting the blackhanders, and saved the day. "You're fired!" said the Mayor to the Chief. "You're hired!" said the Mayor to the Kid. "You're chauffeur!" said the Kid to the Chief, and so the Chief became the chauffeur, while the chauffeur became the chief. Returning home, the ex-chauffeur and the maid took possession of the Chief's house. Kid Cameraflage fell asleep in Mrs. Chief's room. The maid tried to detain the Chief by fainting in his arms. Friend wife, seeing her husband's arms full of maid, entered her room, and she found the Kid trembling in her clothes closet. Thereupon she, too, fainted. The ex-Chief's bullets send the Kid to the roof, but they all drop through the skylight and land back where they came from. Explanations are in order, and the Kid relinquishes his right to Chiefdom.
- The hotel chambermaid, who bears a striking resemblance to the beautiful Countess Troubleskoy, envies her very much and wishes she could wear that lady's dresses if only for one night. She is prompted to this desire by her love for Mr. Oscar Yeppenger, who has refused to even look at the chambermaid. The Countess is really a female Raffles and the head of a band of pickpockets who immediately deposit their ill-gotten gains with her. The Countess conceives a great idea for getting more loot by giving a ball at the fashionable hotel at which she is stopping, but unfortunately for the Countess an old flame who is very jealous follows her to her room and after a short quarrel strangles her and leaves her alone. This is witnessed by the chambermaid who on finding that the Countess is in a faint, appropriates her clothes and attends the ball. She is mistaken for the Countess and Mr. Oscar is having the time of his life until the crooks begin to deposit their stolen loot with the chambermaid, who, thinking to gain the favor of Oscar, in turn gives them to him. The crooks, seeing this, start trouble for Oscar and they in turn are joined by the desperate Baron, who makes matters still more unpleasant by throwing a few bombs among the guests. At the end the hotel is wrecked and the chambermaid repents that she ever tried to wear borrowed finery.
- Where could you find a more toothsome trio to start a movie with than Henry Hash, Stephen Stew and Peter Pye? And where could you find an easier place to start something than at the crackshaft of a Ford ? And now all you have to do is to add three "his wives" and "Moon-struck" Mike, for spice, and things are moving nicely. If you've never had a lion in your front yard or in your library, try a Ford Lizzie. Enter, a private picnic, led by the romantic Mike - he, of the moonstruck soul. Having asked a damsel to ride with him on the speedway, he is turned down cold, whereupon an officer and a "big hippopotamus" give a lively tum to the action.
- Dan was the shepherd at Rushville. Gladys was the Rushville beauty, the daughter of the hotel proprietor. Every day the hotel keeper went to meet the guests who never came, and he grew sad. At last came a day when a guest did arrive on the 4 o'clock train. She was a vampire, but the proprietor did not know that. He rushed her into the old wagon and drove at top speed to the Rushville House. Gladys was sent upstairs to dust off the furniture in the guest room, and the lady was ushered into her apartment by the full staff. She was given a cowbell with which to make her wants known, and when she sat in the rocker, which promptly went over backwards with her, she rang it furiously. Pa disguised himself as the bellboy and answered. She was registered as La Belle Petroleum, a heel dancer, but when Dan saw her practicing in the woods in a Ballet Russe costume he thought it would have been more accurate if she had spelled heel with a double l. Dan had a hard time rescuing his flock from contamination, and the black lamb was determined to attach himself to the dancer. Pa invited his guest to drive with him, and Dan was jealous. The horse balked, standing on the railroad tracks, with an engine coming rapidly nearer. Only Dan's presence of mind in lighting a fire under the carriage prevented a tragedy. Then Dan and Pa had a fight, and Dan went off with the dancer, while the wagon burned in front of the hotel. Years went by. La Belle Petroleum had become a family drudge, with six husky boys. The hotel had flourished, and Pa had purchased an auto. But he had never forgotten the lovely dancer, and one day he just got into the buzz wagon, drove off to her house, and asked her to elope with him for old times' sake. This she was delighted to do, and managed to elude Dan and the children. When they found that she was gone, they set out to follow her, the youngest one carrying his lamb. The elopers got stuck in a mud puddle and abandoned the car. which Dan and his husky boys managed to set going again. They rushed after the train, and just succeeded in catching it. Then they threw Pa off with one mighty heave, and the family were reunited at last.
- A socially ambitious wife tries to persuade her husband to attend a society ball, even though he doesn't want to go. She finally convinces him by promising to take along a neighbor couple. However, in case he might need a little "comforting" at the ball, he takes along a flask of liquor. Once he gets there, he gets bored and starts taking "sips" from the flask. Pretty soon the flask is empty, and he's blitzed. Complications ensue.
- Whether to asphyxiate himself outright or hire someone to put him out of the world and thus relieve himself of the suspense of death, was the question Mr. McIdiot had to decide for himself after his lady friend refused to marry him. At first he decided on self-destruction, but when he attempted to throw himself into the lake, several hungry alligators cruising around it in changed his mind. He then hired the Chief Assassin of the Murderers' Association to do away with him within 12 hours. Same assassin agreed to the bargain, but meanwhile, Mr. McIdiot's lady friend decided she had made a mistake and told Mr. McIdiot she wanted him back. He went to cancel his bargain with the assassin, but unluckily he was out on a killing expedition, and Mr. McIdiot couldn't find him. To make matters worse, the Chief Assassin had a fit of remorse and decided to give up his old life. He chose the same minister to confess to who was marrying Mr. McIdiot, and the meeting was not pleasant. Mr. McIdiot ran up a high ladder, and the Chief Assassin fell off the same ladder into shallow water. Mr. McIdiot finally got the girl, but he was in such nervous condition he forgot to kiss her at the close of the wedding ceremony.
- The proprietor of the Crowing Rooster Inn was a bad man, but he went one too many when he stole the airship model from the War Department, for they were on his trail immediately. The head waitress discovered the workshop where the proprietor was having the model duplicated and she was bribed not to say anything about what she saw. She started out with the bribe money to buy some gewgaws for herself, but she got in the road of a passing auto. Unfortunately, the auto contained the young Secret Service agent. He rescued her and took her to the Crowing Rooster Inn. There he tried to get her to tell about the aeroplane in the garret. She refused and went her way, but she had a terrible dream in which she tried to secure the model with the assistance of the Secret Service man and some local cops. She awakened after a perilous trip through the air, accompanied by the Secret Service man chasing the bandits who had escaped in a fast aeroplane.
- Alice has to work hard to support a large family, the large family consisting of a husband who weighs in the neighborhood of three hundred and thirty-three pounds. Fat's supply of booze runs low, so he asks his wife for money and when she refuses he takes all her hard-earned savings and goes out. When he comes home he is "all the way under." Just about this time a little doggie takes a notion to wander in the neighborhood, and Alice thinks that it would be of more service as a dead dog than as a live one. So she takes a gun and fires at the mutt. But just at this time her hubby happens to come in and falls down when he hears the shot. Alice thinks that she has killed her man, and is horrified to find a few minutes later that the body has disappeared. The police arrive and accuse her of the crime. They find an old shoe in the stove, and this leads them to believe that Alice has killed the man and then burned up the body. In jail Alice bemoans her fate. But the situation is made much brighter when the friendly neighbor comes and offers to help her to escape. He changes places with her and she escapes in the uniform of a policeman. But a copper on the corner sees her and thinks that she does not swing her club at the professional angle, and so gives chase. Over roofs and barns they go until at last Alice is cornered on a flag pole. But the pole breaks and the two of them are thrown down and land in the execution room just as they are on the point of hanging the friend because the real culprit is not handy. Of course, when Alice arrives they take her instead, but this breaks the heart of the neighbor, who really loves Alice. But at this moment Fat, who is still pickled, forcibly breaks into the death house and the proceedings have to be stopped as the murdered man has come to life. Then follows a general rough-house, which ends as Alice lassos her husband and drives him out into the street.
- Phil and Bill love Gaby. Phil had the best of the bargain for he was the proud possessor of a real car while Bill only had a two-seated motorcycle. Bill called to take Gaby out and Phil came along and stole the girl away because he had a real car. But cars have their troubles and Phil stalled and Bill took a shot at the tires. He had no trouble in persuading Gaby to steal away with him, but he disregarded all speed laws and raced over the ill kept street and spilled Gaby into an excavation. Phil saw this and recovered the lost Gaby. Bill was too interested in the scenery to miss her for some time, but when he did he raced back looking for the missing Gaby. Phil had won her heart and hand owing to the fact that he had a real car. This angered Bill and he immediately purchased himself a large touring car and after some difficulty he learned to drive it. When he learned to drive well enough he went on a hunt for Gaby and found her, but alas, too late, for she was just coming out of the minister's home with her husband. This was too much for Bill. He immediately grew desperate and wanted to die at once. He invited the newlyweds to take a ride in his new car. Hardly had they got seated before he turned and told them it would be their last day on this earth. It was some wild ride and aroused the whole country. Cops in automobiles, cops on motorcycles and cops afoot were chasing Bill on his wild ride, and perhaps it would have been going yet had not Bill disregarded all auto ethics and headed for the pier and into the briny deep. This was Bill's finish for the car was a land car only and they all went to a watery grave.
- Mr. Rockabilt has been living on good prospects for the last six years, and owes about three thousand dollars for his board during that time to the proprietor of the hotel where he has been living. The proprietor tries to collect the debt and Billie gives him a bad cheek. When the man finds that it is bad, he says that Billie has a couple of hours to make good or out he goes. But the proprietor has a comely daughter, and Billie has a plan. He sends himself a telegram stating that he has been left a fortune of a million dollars, and shows it to the proprietor. The latter at once offers his daughter's hand, and all arrangements are made for the wedding. But Billie has not paid for the telegram he sent himself, and just as the ceremony is about to be performed the boy comes in and asks for the money. This of course gives the whole thing away and the proprietor is angry, to say the least. He decides that as he needs money he will burn the hotel to get the insurance. So he arranges to have the furnace filled with gasoline and stuffs the janitor in the fire so he cannot squeal. At last the fire is started and all the guests are excited. But when the proprietor goes to look for the policy he cannot find it, as the rats have eaten it. The old man is frantic and rushes for the fire department to put out the fire. In the meanwhile the daughter has been caught in a top room of the house and is yelling for help. Billie is the only one who is brave enough to go to the rescue. He climbs up the side of the house, but when he gets up he is at a loss to know what to do. Downstairs the firemen are helpless, and there seems to be no hope, when the gasoline explodes and the whole house ascends to the upper regions. Billie and his sweetheart and a minister all meet in the air and the delayed marriage ceremony is performed then and there.
- The janitor lost his last pail of water. The faucet was out of order so it was impossible to get water. Prof. Thinem, one of the most successful failures in the dancing profession, was crying profusely. The janitor took his pail and held it under the professor's eyes, and secured enough water for cleaning purposes. At that moment in came a large, stout lady, and the dancing master conducted her to the studio. He warned her that the floor would sustain only fifty pounds to the square inch. After a high kick the floor buckled under the strain, and landed the fat lady in the plunge below. But the janitor was on the job, he rescued her, and then he sawed a hole in her purse, as the professor was reviving her, and recovered all her money. The professor, having obtained a little coin, sent the janitor to Mr. Printum to have a hand-bill advertisement printed for him. Mrs. Printum was a devotee of dancing. She would dance right over her husband's head, as she lived above the print shop. She, too, fell through the weakened floor, and right into the press, where the announcement of the prof's studio was imprinted upon the back of her dress. Hubby was furious, and chased her down the street, but the ad did its work. In her flight, many ladies, tall and short, fat and thin, saw the ad, and made a bee-line for the dancing academy. A bevy of lovely pupils arrived at the academy. Some of them disported themselves in the plunge and all of them were robed in imitation of the Goddess Diana. The prof wished to show them all out in the park. Mr. Printum had struggled out of the barrel of printer's ink into which he had fallen, and was still pursuing his wife. She decided to change clothes with the janitor to save herself. Then the lovely dancers were very nice to the disguised janitor, and shoved Mrs. Printum - in his overalls - out into the cold. Mr. Printum chased the party to the park, and began to beat up the supposed janitor. She managed to get hold of the real janitor and changed her clothes again. Then Mr. Printum did not know what to think. The chase was on again, and they all ended their troubles in the park lake. Moving Picture World, September 29, 1917
- John D. Rock, Jr., was having a very easy time of it. He led a worthless life, but father got wise to some of his pranks and decided that he would have to take matters in his own hands for the sake of the family. He sends young Johnnie out on the road to work in the section gang. Father was wise enough to select John Blake as a disciplinarian for his unruly son. It was a sad day for Johnnie when he landed in the railroad camp, for he immediately began to trespass. There lived in the camp one little Nell, the pride of the camp, and the sweetheart of John Blake, the terrible foreman. Johnnie began to make advances to little Nell, who to all appearances, reciprocated his regard. Right there John Blake stepped in and after a few harsh remarks and a little rough treatment he thought the matter was settled, but Johnnie was one of the kind who believe in perseverance, and he kept right on, regardless of the threats of John Blake. This was not only bad for himself, but for little Nell as well. John Blake, in his desperation, after being turned down cold, decided to murder the little girl. With the aid of his assistants he kidnapped her after dark and tied her to the railroad track and got into an engine determined to end it all. The millionaire's son was apprised of the fact and secured a racing car. There followed a race between the engine and the racer to see which would reach her first. Blake had to cross a drawbridge, which was the vantage point, and Johnnie got there first. When Blake arrived the bridge was up, but Blake did not heed it in his mad dash and up and over he went, and down to his destruction.
- She was just a poor, but honest girl, out looking for a job, when she happened to see the L-KO Film Company offices, and dropped in to secure a job. They did not think much of her work in a tryout as an actress, but when she told them of the number of little mouths she had to feed the manager took pity on her and gave her a job as janitress. Her ambitions were far above the job, and when she discovered an old discarded newspaper, telling of a big floral parade in which the L-KO Company was to participate, she decided that with the assistance of the head janitor they ought to be able to walk away with the parts to be portrayed. After some persuasion, the janitor decides to join her in the impersonation. They arrive at the scene of the parade after donning the apparel of the other actors and actresses. But there was something doing when the actors and actresses who had been chosen by the L-KO to do the work discover that someone had stolen their wardrobes.
- Bill managed to work his little graft gag quite profitably until he attacked the wrong party. This party was the friend of the commissioner. Commissioner Logan immediately wrote a stinging letter to Chief Schmaltz, who. in turn, issued an order forbidding any of his motorcycle cops accepting a bribe under the penalty of being imprisoned in a brewery with a muzzle on for life. Under this category came Bill, and sorely grieved was he to think he would have to work henceforth should he desire any of the luxuries of life. Suddenly an auto shot by him. Here was his chance for revenge, and giving vent to his feelings, Bill went pell mell after the fair one in the auto. After a long chase he found himself face to face with a most entrancing beauty. Bill almost succumbs to her wiles, but he remembered his duty, so he proceeded to the station with the charming miss. At the station Bill was informed that the young lady was a friend of the chiefs, but Bill had made a hit with her and had no difficulty making an engagement with her for the following evening. The chief stood in with her father, and it was an agreed thing that Gertie must marry Thief Schmaltz. Bill, however, was a resourceful sort of fellow, so he and Gertie eloped. Bill, in his haste, had confiscated a flivver and the owner immediately reported its chief, who ordered an immediate search. These flivvers are liable to turn one queer trick, and this one succeeded in driving Bill to the robber's lair. They lassoed him and tied him to railroad track. Gertie succeeded in escaping and managed to get a telephone booth where she sent an "S.O.S." call. Of course, Schmaltz was determined to shine and once more win Gertie by exhibiting his bravery, so with lightning speed he was on the scene and rescued poor Bill from a horrible death by only a second's time. When the chief discovered whom he had saved there was blood in his eye, but Bill was too quick for him. He made one dash for one of the police flivvers, and with this good start would have managed to get away if the flivver hadn't started to leak. The chief saw his chance for revenge and set fire to the gasoline line which had leaked. The fire soon gained on Bill and blew up the flivver and Bill to the land of dreams.
- In "Dippy Dan's Doings" ( and not "Dan's Dippy Doings") Dippy Dan (Dan Russell), a taxicab driver in New York City, is addicted to both speeding and flirting, and his affair with a judge's wife combines both of his addictions into a long chase.
- Ambrose and his wife are going to take charge of a seabeach hotel.
- Dinty, a bum, had just alighted from his "pullman" when he went out on a hunt for cigars. But the men were smoking them very short that season, so it was a hard job to get a good smoke. At last he was run over by a machine as he was in the act of getting a good one, and the doctor took pity on the fellow and took him home. At the house of the doctor he revived and was asked to stay for dinner. During the meal he became flirty and began to write notes to the lady of the house under the table. After dinner he became a little more familiar and the doctor was angry. He ejected Dinty from the house, so the tramp swore revenge. Dinty telephoned the doctor to come to a certain house at once, and then, when the doctor went to the door, he stole the car. Calling for the doctor's wife in the car, he took her for a ride. But as a chauffeur Dinty was not a success and it was not long before the flivver was a thing of the past. It so happened that the smashup occurred just in front of the hospital, so that he was taken inside and given the best of attention. The doctor was at once sent for, as an operation was deemed necessary. But the doctor that came was the very one who was looking for Dinty. With fiendish glee he sharpened the knife and prepared to take his pound of flesh. Dinty managed to get away and led the surgeon a chase all over the hospital. Then the police arrived and things got even more complicated. Dinty got out and took refuge in an auto with the cops after him. The chase ended in the doctor's house again. Dinty entered the room of the doctor's wife and then the doctor came in. He was forced to hide in the closet, but at last was discovered by the irate man. The picture ends as the masher gets his true deserts.
- Alice, a poor, hard-working Newsgirl, has one weakness, and that is her admiration for Joe, the handsome leading man of the Tabasca Stock Company. One day she is abused by a competing newsboy. To escape from him she enters the theater and hides in the leading lady's dressing room. While hiding there she finds that Joe, the leading man, is in love with the leading lady and that they are both planning to rob the manager and make their getaway. Alice tells the manager of their scheme and so helps him save his money. He is grateful to her and says he will grant her any wish. Her only wish is to be a leading lady. Her wish is granted and she is made a leading lady in a melodramatic show. On the night of her debut one of the stagehands drops a burning match in the snow (on the stage) which starts a fire and incidentally breaks up the show.
- Mert, the station agent, loved Al the foreman, and Mert's father, the engineer, loved Al's mother, and Al loved Mert, and Al's mother loved Mert's father. However, Mert's father did not love Al, and Al's mother did not love Mert, so that kept things from being monotonous. Al invited Mert to the soda fountain, but when Mert found that he had no money she suspected that the attraction was Babe the dispenser of liquid refreshment. Herein she wronged Al's honest soul. Al found Mert's father making love to his mother and threw flour at them. Just then the train arrived, and with it Terrible Ted, the He-Vampire. Ma and Pa were sitting a truck, and Al sneaked up and tied it to the train as it pulled out. However, the end of the rope caught his foot and he was hauled along the track till Pa cut the rope and they all came home. Mert was making making eyes at Ted. His idea was to get into the safe while she flagged the train. He and his confederates had almost succeeded, when Mert managed to grab the bad in which they had placed the money and pull it up through a trap in the ceiling. They discovered her and pursued her to the roof. She jumped off, but they got her, and put her in a trunk. They then loaded the trunk onto a passing train. Al and Babe went to the rescue on a handcar. All of them arrived in the Great City, and the trunk with Mert inside was taken to a room. Al and Babe arrived, and Mert, looking out of the window, saw them. She wrote a note which she placed in the water pitcher and threw out of the window. Al snatched a bow and arrow from a child and shot a reply to her. He sent up a rope and Mert lowered the money to him. She then slid down the rope after tying it to the bed, and they all went off on the handcar, pursued by the villains in an auto. But the handcar reached the station first. Ted was not to be foiled, and be subdued them all with chloroform. She grabbed him, threw him off the train, and then returned with the money. Moving Picture World, October 27, 1917
- Alice and another girl who work in a tailor shop are much mistreated. They are not even allowed to have enough to eat, as the Boss is so greedy that it hurts him to see other people happy. After dinner he makes Alice and her friend go to work. But they rebel and try to get the old man in an uncomfortable position. This succeeds at first, but in the end he gets out of their clutches and begins to drive them all the harder. Alice is told that she must go out to drum up some trade. This is done by ripping men's pants with a hook and then presenting him with a card that says that very neat pressing and mending is done at the Boss's establishment. In this way Alice hooks Mr. Astorbilt, who goes with her to the shop. Here he takes off his pants so that they can be mended and in them the Boss finds an invitation to a ball that is to be given that night addressed to a count. This he takes. Then he decides to hold up the wealthy man and throws him into the cellar. There he has an instrument of torture rigged up so that if the man does not sign a check for a million dollars he will be crushed by a rock that is hanging over his head. Alice rescues him, and the grateful man invites her and her companion to the ball. At the affair Alice creates a sensation by a dance which she performs. The Boss arrives, disguised as a count. At last the time for the "eats" arrives, and the count sneaks upstairs to steal the jewels. He gets them, but as he is leaving the house the butler sees him and makes him come in to dinner. It is there that he is unmasked, as Alice remembers the music of his soup inhalation and exposes him. Then there is a great battle to see if they can catch the crook. At last they do get him and the dinner continues. At the end of the meal Mr. Astorbilt says that he is going to announce his engagement and Alice is excited as she thinks she is going to be the lucky one. But the man says that the other girl is the lucky one and Alice is crestfallen. Sadly she goes home to her Boss, cured of her high aspirations.
- Last Chance Valley fairly wallowed in wickedness. To it came Professor Polonius Pinhead upon the back of his donkey and boon companion, King Solomon, and there he found two shrinking flowers of the valley. One's name was Violet and the other was Molly, whose expansion was in direct contrast to Violet's shrinking. She weighed 350 and could juggle a bean-shooter as well as any gun-toter. And, of course, there was a bad man. His name was Howling Hank, and he was a union villain licensed by the Moving Picture Theater Villains' Association, to wear the official black mustache and carry forty-seven shots in his six-shooter. Now, Howling Hank was determined that Violet should work in his dance-hall, and Molly was just as determined that Violet should not. Into this life and death struggle King Solomon, the donkey, kicked Professor Pinhead, and this elongated individual eventually obtained Dutch courage enough to route the villain, to save Violet, and to marry Molly.
- The Fire Chief's daughter is sought after by three suitors.
- Ambrose is an enormously powerful, but tender-hearted, blacksmith, who takes it upon himself to right the wrongs inflicted upon the heroine by a black-hearted "villun."
- Alice is the tattletale of the whole village. So when a real opera singer comes to town she has a great deal to do. There are two of the men in the town who are smitten with the opera singer and first one and then the other gets into a compromising situation with her. Alice tells on both of them and in the end she gets the proper deserts for such conduct. There is a motor boat race and then a ducking.
- It was his wedding day, but he wandered from the wayside and dropped into one of his old haunts, where he partook of a little more than was good for him. The bride, knowing his haunts, after an hour or two of waiting, decides to call up his old place and find if he is there. She begged him to hurry home, but he was in no condition to be called sweet names and resented her interference. He wandered out into the park, where he found some girls to his liking, but hardly had he got started to making love before the husband of one of the girls, a very bad man, came on the scene and it was curtains for the groom. He hurried to the side of his fiancée, whom he knew he could bluff. The wedding was hastened with all speed and the groom immediately appropriated his little wife's hard-earned savings and back to Mike's place he went. The bride gives up her flat and returns home. The mercenary landlady soon afterwards rented the flat to a man who happened to be the bad man the groom bad encountered that morning in the park. Later at night the groom, after a hard evening, decided that he would return home to his little wife. Not knowing that his flat had been rented to others, he entered and got into bed with the bad man. There was some excitement. Wife and brother entered just in time to avert a murder.
- That old guy, Father Neptune, certainly knew a thing or two when he picked out the ocean to live. Ferdy Fishcake had it on Neptune, though, for though he had a fright of a wife, he was easing himself into forgetfulness by taking a few days' vacation with her at the beach. And the sights he saw. They almost made him forget this wife. He burrowed under the sand to get near Lotta Pepp and when his wife woke up she thought he was gone for good. So she hired a detective and they started a search which complicated itself so many times in hotels and cast suspicion on so many marriage vows that we can't bear to tell about it.
- General Debility, who guards the border, spies General Cochrane and his staff, and bad blood puts in an appearance. A poison ivy blossom consents to help matters along and the opposing generals, standing on the border line, put up a series of "stunts," in which a funny target practice plays its share. After many bad omens and promises to cut off the other's cranium and throw it in his face, the dove of peace gets busy with the opponents.
- Father and daughter were at the beach, but they were uncongenial and father wandered off to get the salt air. A flirt rescued daughter from a vicious sardine in the surf and made a hit with her, so much of a hit that she agreed to wait on the sand for him while he went and got an umbrella. While he was gone, however, a life saver annoyed daughter and when the flirt returned she told him about it. He declared he would disguise as a bathing girl, lure the life guard with his beauty and then give him the beating of his life. Unfortunately father had gotten into some unpleasantness with a lady and she tore his bathing suit from him. He later found a bathing suit, but it had "Life Saver" on it, and when daughter's admirer saw a gentleman with "Life Saver" on his shirt, he concluded same was his prey and attempted to beat him up. Things didn't work out as anyone expected, however. In fact they were so unexpected that the flirt and some officers of the law fell into the ocean where a shark was cruising. Meanwhile an innocent old lady fell off the pier, some gentlemen who couldn't swim also fell in, and there was a general confusion throughout. The life saver was the one who came out best, as he rescued daughter from the surf.
- A country couple at a county fair visit the various amusement concessions and then fall asleep in a canoe and dream they have been captured by a band of cannibals.
- A city couple drops into a restaurant and try to steal the cash box.
- Mr. Rawsberry had no particular talent except pure, unadulterated nerve. He was a janitor, but from his clothes he could have passed for Lord Chesterfield. He eloped with some kopecks from the boss's safe and went to the swellest hotel in town. There he met a pretty girl, and in order to impress her with his importance, he hires a page to bawl his name through the lobby and corridors. As luck would have it, his boss was stopping at the same hotel to rest his shattered nerves after the loss of his kopecks. He heard the name, and lost no time in looking Rawsberry up. Also an irascible gentleman whom Mr. Rawsberry had bumped in the park likewise hearkened and thanked heaven he had located the man he most wished to meet. Mr. Rawsberry sensed the approaching danger and tried to shut the page off, but the latter had lungs of leather and was fascinated with the sound of his own voice. He bawled the louder. Mr. Rawsberry, attempting to avoid the impending unpleasantness, ran afoul of a fire hose. The page got another fire hose, and the irascible gentleman drew his pocket cannon. A general melee followed.
- The Sand Dow family are at breakfast. The janitor, called by his alarm clock, to which he had attached a feather which tickled his feet, slept underneath the tank in the gym and had a trap door through which he emerged. Gladys was the belle of the ladies' department, and Al of the men's. Sand Dow flirted with the girls, and Mrs. with the men. At last each had an idea. They called the janitor and told him to bring disguises in which they would look like each other. When they emerged even the janitor was completely fooled. It was too hot so they closed the gym and went to the beach. San Dow had a wonderful time with the girls, and Mrs. had a lovely time with the men. But the sweethearts were each planning a chance to get together. Each party got into swimming suits as quickly as possible. The men had brought a lunch, but the girls had none, so San Dow decided to go fishing. He used his own carcass for bait, and came up with fishes hanging on his person. The janitor was instructed to cook the fish, and the girls sat down to wait. The other party was lunching, and the janitor got mixed and threw the fish to the men instead of the girls. Sand Dow went to remonstrate and recognized his wife. He snatched Gladys and ran. Mrs. decoys Al. He opens a sandwich and puts sand in it, giving it to her. As she sputters he makes a getaway and rejoins Gladys. San Dow comes up and fights Al, while Mrs. fights him for Al. The husband and wife recognize each other. Dan beats it with Gladys and Mrs. follows. After a chase, the picture ends in a pie fight.
- Billie and Henry, demons of love and jealousy, are both in love with the beautiful daughter of a well-to-do farmer. Sight of one of the demons by the other in the company of the girl is the high sign for battle. Eggs, bricks or any weapon at hand are made use of in their encounters. Billie scores when he manages to elope with the girl in Henry's "auter." Father's chat with his friend, the sheriff, is rudely broken into by the outraged Henry, and the chase after the runaways starts. Unluckily a tire gives out, but finding himself in front of a tire factory. Billie proceeds to order direct to consumer. Not having the size, the superintendent finally agrees to make it for the persistent Billie, who finally urges forward each process of manufacture personally. Henry, father, the sheriff and constables, hot on the trail, arrive before the completion of the tire. Henry is further infuriated by the ruin of his tire and spanks the girl. Billie, loathe to part with the price of the tire, but compelled to do so in order to get away, finds the chasers surrounding the automobile when he rushes forth. Realizing he has lost out with the girl and "auter" he tries to recover his money. This the superintendent objects to and the argument that follows ends in blows. The chasers arrive in the midst of the fracas and lend a hand to the triumph of Henry.
- A satire and comedy reflections on the methods of evangelists.
- Lucille was playing with her kitten in the yard. Breakfast was ready and papa was looking for her. He found her in the yard and as he approached her the kitten ran up his back under his coat. Papa took Lucille in, and breakfast went on. The kitten crawled out of his coat and into his cereal dish, and in putting her out of the room he dragged the electric toaster onto his chair and then sat on it. Papa received a letter from his cousin, telling him of the arrival in town of the Count de Fromage. Soon after, the Count himself appeared. Father and mother looked high and low for Lucille, for the idea of making her a Countess appealed to them. But she had run away to the farm, where lived her uncle and aunt and her cousin Bill. Lucille dressed herself in a suit of Bill's overalls, and just as she was changing, one of the farmhands burst into her room. Bill heard her scream, and came to her rescue. In the meantime, father and mother had set out in their car to the farm, with the Count in tow. Bill had just found a nest of eggs in a corn field, and after sitting on it for a few moments, the chicks were all hatched. Lucille had a lovely time with the chickens, but the arrival of the Count spoiled everything. She called Bill to her aid, and they pushed the poor man into the haylift, and hauled him up into the loft. Then they let go suddenly and he fell plunk into the horse trough. The Count had a horrid time, but it didn't help Lucille much, for her parents accepted him for her, and the wedding was announced. The guests were all assembled, and the unwilling bride was dressing upstairs. At last she had an idea. Calling one of the powdered footmen, she made him change clothes with her. Bill, in the meantime, had met the Count and made him his own. He tore off the nobleman's mustache, and pasted it onto his own face. Then he took the groom's place at the wedding. The ceremony is in progress, when a detective arrives to arrest the Count. Lucille, standing by the footman-bride, is chuckling over the deception about to be practiced on the Count, when she suddenly recognized the feet of Bill. She shrieks, and tears the veil from the footman-bride; the right man is arrested, and Bill and Lucille are married. Moving Picture World, October 6, 1917
- Mishap the school cook falls in love with the new teacher, who is really a crook.
- Mr. Wildcherry was a menace to society and a trouble to his daughter, Eva. Right across the hall lived Mr. Samson Hercules and his bride. When Hercules goes out Wildcherry goes across the hall and makes a low bow to Mrs. Hercules, taking off his hat. She sees "I love you" painted on his bald head. But she is adamant. Then Wildcherry ties a string to a purse and pulls it across the hall to get her into his flat. She crawls after it and gets wedged in under the sewing machine. Eva comes to her aid, and she goes home raging. Eva has two suitors, Mr. Beer and Mr. Buller. Both come to call at once, and while they are there Papa goes over to Mrs. Hercules. Eva has been sewing on the machine and a thread from his trousers is caught in the needle. As he sits talking, his trouser leg begins to unravel, and runs right up to the knee. He hears Mr. Hercules coming and hides. Hercules finds his hat, and he is thrown out. Eva's suitors are getting into a fight, when Wildcherry arrives and separates them. Mr. Hercules goes out to take his annual bath to sooth his feelings. Beer sends Eva a message asking her to elope, and Buller reads it. He makes a plan with Wildcherry to circumvent them. They take their places with a gun at the rope which is hanging out of the window, but unfortunately in a second fight between Beer and Buller, the latter is caught in the rope and seesaws up and down the side of the house, finally landing in the water tank on the roof. The end of the rope coils around the auto in which the lovers sit and they can't start the car. The watertank is upset and Mr. Wildcherry, pulling on the other end of the rope is dragged into the Hercules' bathroom. He makes fast to the bathtub. Mrs. Hercules comes in to take a bath and is dragged out and drawn along the street by the auto of the lovers. En route Mr. Wildcherry falls into the same tub, and the whole outfit crashes through the wall of the bath establishment where Mr. Hercules is bathing. The couples are reunited in the midst of the debris.
- Eddie Barry and Harry Mann are the owners of a bird and animal store, of which Harry is the crooked partner. Arriving at the store one morning, Harry is unable to unlock the door because a monkey has inserted a hose nozzle in the keyhole, and plays the spray on Harry. Harry goes to Eddie's house for the key and gets into some awkward complications with Eddie's wife, and he also be comes the idol of Eddie's mother-in-law. Eddie and his wife have an argument over the mother-in-law, and they say they are going to break up their home. Harry Mann, by mistake, receives the two notes telling of their intentions to leave their home, so he rents Eddie's house to Harry Griffin and Bartine Burkett, a vaudeville team. Eddie has met Bartine in his store and has a picture of her in tights, without her face showing. Meeting her husband in the park, he shows him this picture, with the address, and then a chase ensues between the husband and Eddie. Everything is settled until Eddie and his wife decide to return to their home, which at the same time is occupied by Griffin and Bartine, and a great many complications result.
- They eloped and the new Mrs. Snookums telephones her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Lampem, and Ma says "Lucille has just married a man we have never seen. Isn't it scandalous?" To which Pa answers: "Well, you did the same thing and you didn't pick such a lemon." That is the start of a quarrel, and Mrs. Lampem goes out in a huff. The bride soon finds evidences that her hubby had a lovely time before his marriage. She resolves to flirt, too, since that is his taste, and she tries it on the butler, and then goes to the park. Out in the park, Mr. and Mrs. Spifflegoofer are also having a spat, during which Mr. S. absorbs the family roll. Mrs. Lampem strolls by, and Phil Spifflegoofer follows her, she appeals to the bridegroom, Bill, who also happens to be in the park, and Bill punches Phil. Pa Lampem also seeks the fresh air, and meets Mrs. Phil, with whom he starts a flirtation. Lucille joins the party, and starts flirting with a strange man, who turns out to be a detective. He threatens and she flees, scared of cops from that moment on. In the meantime Pa Lampem has taken Mrs. Spifflegoofer to a café for some refreshment, and Bill has done the same with Miss Lampem. Phil and Lucille find themselves on the same bench in the park, and make eyes at each other. He invites her to the same café. When the three couples, all matched up wrong, meet in the same place, there is a general rush for cover. Ma gets under one table. Bill under another. Pa under a third, and Mrs. Spifflegoofer under a fourth. The detective comes crawling in seeking evidence and Phil dives under a fifth table. They shift, and meet each other, and there are general introductions all round. The proper husbands sort out their proper wives, and poor Phil ends his adventure in the café fountain. Motography, November 3, 1917
- Billie is the proprietor of a hotel, but his wife is the one who does most of the proprieting. Billie is a modest little fellow and is well content to do the entertaining of the house. He is active about the place, showing everyone how to perform their jobs, but he really shines at serving the ladies. One of these delicate creations arrives and Billie is all attention. But his wife says, "No," and the ambitious lad is forced to sojourn under the desk. There he finds a way to get in a word or two by poking his head out from the bottom. He makes a little rendezvous with the lady without his wife learning of it. Then when the lady rings for soap he writes his love on the bar and covers it so that the sentiments are not apparent until the bar is used. Then follow a series of mistakes that were most unfortunate, as they put the attentions of Billie in the wrong light. He sent a little note to the lady of his love by means of a fan. But the darn thing blew too far and the note came into the hands of her husband. Then there followed a. great mix-up, as the doors of the two rooms that the manager and the lady had were changed. The husband went after Billie, and strange to say, he found him in the most embarrassing of positions. Then there was a chase in which Billie barely escaped the wrath of the other, and it all ended when Billie fell into a bathtub and was carried about the streets in the rear of an auto.
- Fiery-tempered Captain Barnacle, who is master of a steamer, is very jealous of his wife, and when he finds her pursued by a masher, he chastises him and warns him to leave town in one half-hour, under threat of death. The masher takes this very seriously and stows away on a ship. Judge of his horror when he finds he is on the same craft with the captain's wife: she screams and the husband, master of the vessel, appears. Imagining the silly dude has followed his beloved wife on board, he makes his life terrible. The crew finally mutiny and scuttle the ship. The dude is hurled into the hold and becomes a hero by stopping the leak in an ingenious manner.