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- Who has reared the perfect child? Who has successfully combated the destiny-shaping factors of heredity and environment with a theoretical code of child-raising warranted never to fail? Mrs. Gretchen Jans, mistress of millions, failed. Her two pretty nieces, Frances and Clarice were taught to sew and mend, economize and retrench, not alone in clothes and money but in thought and emotion as well. "Plug up the fountain of youth," was the harsh, Puritanical code of Gretchen Jans, and Frances paid the penalty with her heartaches. Hence, when Richard Ward fell in love with Frances and Mrs. Jans refused the parental blessing, the young couple did what most young couples do, set off post-haste for the nearest parsonage. And then into the life of Frances came the great change. A comfortable allowance didn't reach. Money ran like rays of sunshine in a golden stream through the fingers of both hands. Richard couldn't keep up the gait. Bills payable increased with a monotonous regularity only equaled by the decrease of his bills receivable. Credit weakened, the specter of poverty grinned through the office door and the riotous waste of the girl who had been denied continued unabated. And then came the second man with his offer of money and the trail of suffering and self-abasement that followed in its wake. It seemed all very innocent to Frances but it was tragedy to Richard.
- Becky, a child, is left an orphan by the death of her father and is consigned to the tender mercies of the Misses Pinkertons, who conduct a fashionable school for girls. Becky feels keenly the semi-charitable nature of her life, and, when kindly-hearted Amelia Sedley invites her home, she eagerly accepts. It is then that Becky, the child, becomes Becky, the adventuress, cold, calculating and selfish. With the entrance of Becky into the peaceful Sedley home comes misfortune. Sedley goes bankrupt. Old man Osborne promptly breaks the engagement between Amelia and his son, George. Becky lays her traps for Joseph Sedley, Amelia's brother, and nearly succeeds in her designs on that self-satisfied young man. Urged by his faithful friend, Captain Dobbin, George marries Amelia. This change throws Becky into new surroundings. She goes to Queen's Crawley and enters the most active sphere of her existence. Her adventures with old Pit Crawley, her marriage to Rawdon Crawley, their poverty Becky's flirtation with Lord Steyne and her subsequent separation from Rawdon, the Battle of Waterloo and the death of George Osborne are all faithfully portrayed incidents of Thackeray's novel.
- Young Henry Clay Madison, a clerk, falls in love with Flossy Wilson, a prostitute from New York's East Side. Although she reforms under his influence, Flossy believes that she is unworthy of Madison and rejects his marriage proposal. Seventeen years later, Madison's nephew Bert, a social worker, falls in love with wanton Fifty-Fifty Mamie, reforms her and elicits her help in his work. Bert falls ill, and when Mamie tries to visit him, Madison, who now is concerned only with money, convinces her to give up the idea of marrying Bert. Mamie goes to work in Madison's canning factory to investigate conditions. In addition to employing children, Madison's factory has no fire escape and only one staircase, which catches fire, many children die and Mamie is seriously injured. Madison visits Mamie, who cries Bert's name in delirium. When Madison brings Bert, now recovered, Madison notices a photograph of Flossy, Mamie's mother and realizes that Mamie is his daughter. She dies in Bert's arms, and Madison resolves to toil for the welfare of workers and the end of child slavery.
- Ralph Valentine and his father are musicians of proud and aristocratic ways and are so wrapped up in their art as to be oblivious of their poverty. Their faithful servant, Joseph, has been wont to withhold the threats of debtors from them, but there comes a time, shortly after the father's death, that Ralph must be told the truth. Joseph tells everything and suggests that Ralph accept money that he has saved and go to Paris, where he may show the world his art. Ralph does so and goes to live with the Gardins. His uncle Victor Valentine, wealthy and fond of gay life, invites him to live at his home provided he will leave behind his foolish dreams and fancies. Ralph refuses, preferring to remain where he is. He wins the love of Pauline Gardin and is quite content. Through his Bohemian acquaintances he meets Mme. Flora Margot. This tired, blasé young woman makes a pet of him and enraptured by her dazzling beauty he longs to satisfy her every desire. Attempting to do so, he becomes indebted to impatient creditors, who demand immediate payment or his arrest. Pauline, ignorant of his infatuation with Flora, assists him out of his present difficulties with her own savings. Realizing Flora's fast waning affection, he resolves to regain it by buying a certain antique necklace which he knows she covets. The antique dealer demands an exorbitant price which he is unable to pay. He is further disheartened when one day he finds her in the arms of his uncle, and he rushes forth intent upon suicide. About to throw himself into the river, a vision of Flora appears before him and he resolves to secure the necklace at any cost. The dealer of the antique shop is busy when he enters and Ralph wanders into a room where there are curios upon the walls and tables. Curiously examining the various articles, his hand suddenly touches a secret panel which springs back, revealing a marvelous painting of the Christ. A spiritual influence comes over him, so profound is its impression upon his mind. While awaiting the attendance of the dealer, he becomes greatly interested in a peculiar skin which has writing upon it in Sanskrit. Sitting down he becomes drowsy and falls asleep. The writing changes into English, which reads that the possessor of the skin has only to wish and his wish will be granted, but that with each desire the skin shall grow smaller and the days of the possessor grow less until death is the penalty at the last wish. The dealer approaches and Ralph is amazed to behold him now in the form of a devil. The devil asks if he desires the skin and Ralph, fearfully undecided, suddenly thinks of Flora and agrees to take it. What are his desires and his terrible anguish as the talisman grows smaller have been woven into a story of weird and mystic situations.
- When Bill Fowler decided to wed wealthy widow Isabel Dare of Rye, New York, he gave a bachelor dinner. And the dinner degenerated into a quiet game with sugar for dice until Constable Zack arrived with sleuths galore and landed them everyone safe and sound in the local calaboose. So Christopher Cutting, Bill's friend "The Fixer" put his brain to work, chloroformed Zack and hustled Bill home in time for the wedding. Meantime, Isabel's daughter Dorothy bids her sweetheart Lieutenant Ned Hemmingway, U.S.A. a tearful good-bye; he was going away with William Fowler on a dangerous mission to Mexico. (Diplomat William Fowler and bridegroom Bill Fowler are two different people.) But that didn't deter Bill. He stole the identity of Wm. Fowler and when Constable Zack arrived Bill told his bride that Zack was a special messenger from the President come to escort him to Mexico. Zack escorted him to the calaboose and "The Fixer," fixed it again, this time with cash, not chloroform. One lie begets another. Bill couldn't go home so soon, so "The Fixer" found a scheme. They went to Mexico and sent letters home from Laredo telling of their thrilling adventures and their diplomatic triumphs. Unfortunately, they are captured by bandit general Gomez, and treated ignominiously. They escape and find the real Wm. Fowler is famous. Bill wires the folks back in Rye and they send him a telegram inviting him to a reception in his honor. Unhappily for Bill, the real William Fowler gets the invitation and accepts. Meantime Isabel receives word her former husband may be alive. The former husband looks like the real diplomat. When Bill arrives and gets the ovation the diplomat is left in the cold. Bill is dressed like a major general and no one believes the real agent who is plainly dressed. Isabel, seeing the agent, believes him her former husband and drops at his feet pleading for mercy. Bill sees her and challenges the agent, who accepts. In the course of the duel, "The Fixer" saves Bill by hitting the diplomat with a brick from behind. Isabel then discovers the absence of a birthmark which proves he is not her husband, and the party are faced by the problem of which is the real government agent. Lieutenant Hemingway settles the matter by persuading the diplomat to see Bill's predicament and he departs without disproving Bill. Lieutenant Ned and Dorothy embrace; Bill and Isabel are reconciled and Cutting gets what all good fixers get: nothing.
- Jimmy Carter, a millionaire, leading an idle, indulgent life, gets an urgent message from his friend, Reginald Travers. Travers, who is dying, has been ruined in the stock market by Mortimer Reynolds, and penniless, he leaves his little daughter in care of Carter, who promises faithfully to look after her. After the death of Travers, Carter takes Ruth to his luxurious home and gives her to the motherly care of Mrs. Jenkins, his housekeeper, Mortimer Reynolds, anxious to add Ruth to his list of unfortunates, instructs his mistress, Edna Morris, to make her acquaintance and to gain her confidence. Carter and Reynolds become bitter enemies because of Reynold's sarcastic reflections on the relationship between Carter and Ruth. As time passes, Ruth, by her winsomeness and innocence gradually changes Carter's mode of life. He no longer feels an interest in the gay life of former days, and even loses his taste for the morning nip. Unconsciously, Ruth is transforming his sympathetic dutiful interest in her to love. In a moment of ecstasy he crushes her in his arms. At the Charity Ball, where Ruth is taking part in a tableau, she meets Edna Morris. Fearful of Reynold's wrath should she fail, the unhappy girl works her way into the graces of Ruth. Carter sees this and immediately takes Ruth home, refusing to explain his conduct to her. Meeting Ruth in the park the following day, Edna denounces Carter for his action of the previous evening, "Why should he object to me, pray? Everybody knows that your father didn't leave you a penny, and that you are living on the, shall I say, generosity, of Mr. Carter." Stunned by the revelation that she is looked upon as Carter's mistress, the impetuous little girl rushes to the house, and in a burst of fury, screams her hatred of Carter. In the still of the night, she makes her way out of the house to Edna's apartment. It is here that Reynolds finds her. Impelled by a fiendish lust, he forces her to partake of his wines, and slowly they begin to work their effect. Carter, who, in desperation, has been searching for her, finds her in the apartment, stupefied and disheveled. Disgusted and heartsore, he looks upon her contemptuously and leaves, feeling that she has gone the way of Edna. Mrs. Morris, Edna's mother, prompted by a subconscious feeling that all is not well with her child, comes to the house from her little cottage in the country. She takes both penitents back home with her, hoping that they may forget and begin life anew. Meanwhile, Reynolds, whose financial affairs have taken a turn for the worse, and who is being sought by the police for forgery, attempts to make his escape. He is caught by the police and so made to pay for the misery and misfortune which he has brought upon others. Miserable and despairing because Carter has mistaken her, Ruth can find no peace. But Edna, she who has dragged her to darkness and degradation, succeeds in lifting her once more to the light of hope. The once impetuous Ruth is again folded in the arms of Carter, knowing that there only will she find eternal happiness and peace of soul.
- Upon Ruth McAllister's return with her father from a Western trip, John Gilbert calls to renew his attentions. He immediately notices a change in her and is greatly pained when she refuses him, not because she does not care for him but for reasons that she will not divulge. A stranger, in the meantime, calls, and rushing past the maid, stops breathlessly in the presence of Ruth and Gilbert. Astonished at the intrusion, Gilbert is more amazed when Ruth, seeing the intruder, faints. Asked to explain, the stranger tells Gilbert to ask Ruth. Regaining her composure, the stranger tells Ruth that he will not leave until he has had a talk with her, whereupon Gilbert, furious, is about to attack him as Professor McAllister enters. To Gilbert's surprise, Ruth introduces the stranger as Mr. Gerald, a friend whom she met while traveling and then excuses herself while the men chat about things in general. Upon the entrance of Wilkins, the butler, Gilbert is quick to discern the expression of fear that comes over the countenance of the stranger as a half smile curves the servant's lips, who, after making an unimportant announcement, retires. Then, with the excuse that some very important letters require his immediate attention, Gerald announces his intention to go, but the Professor, now suspicious, insists that he use his library for his correspondence. Alone in the library, Ruth enters and upbraids Gerald for coming to the house. He tells her that his life is in danger and begs her to help him escape. This she promises and leaves to call a taxicab. Dinner is announced and the Professor, opening the library door to call Gerald, is shocked to find him dead, and a green silken tassel, similar to those which adorn Ruth's cloak, clasped in his hand. Shortly after the arrival of the police, Ruth returns in the taxicab and entering the house, utters a shriek of laughter, not hysterical, but a laugh of savage joy, as she beholds the dead man. Questioned as to the man's identity, Ruth at first refuses to answer but finally admits that she had married him while in the West. With a strong case of circumstantial evidence against her, she is arrested and taken to headquarters, where she is held for trial on a charge of murder. Who Gerald really was and how the tangled skeins of destiny were finally unraveled make a charming, convincing and intensely interesting mystery story.
- Musty gets a job in a grocery store. A female customer makes him show her everything in the place, then buys a five-cent package of crackers. For revenge, Musty eats the artificial grapes on her hat. She catches him at it, throws a basket of apples in his face and leaves. Then a sissy-boy buys a ball of yarn for his knitting, and Musty, disgusted at the customer's effeminate qualities, puts a lit firecracker in the package, with startling results. He meets his match when a cowboy-desperado enters and forces him to give up half the contents of the store for five cents. Soon a drummer happens along. Musty advises the proprietor of the store not to buy from him. This awakens the drummer's ire and he throws a handful of crumpled crackers at Musty's face. Musty, however, has not been idle, and when the drummer puts on his hat to leave, he finds that Musty has filled it with milk. After the drummer's departure, Musty decides to have lunch. By mistake he fills his stomach with Tabasco sauce. Naturally he craves water. In trying to get a sprinkling can which is suspended from the ceiling, he pulls down ceiling and all and is consequently discharged. Leaving the grocery store, Musty goes to a barber shop for a shave where he is attended by the unconversational barber, who wears a gag for the protection of his patrons. Musty gets the shave, but the barber puts hair-restorer on his face instead of toilet water. When the barber learns that Musty has no money to pay for his services, an altercation ensues, during which the barber is arrested and Musty escapes. Musty next visits a thirst emporium. The proprietor chases a rough customer into the street, and Musty takes charge of the bar and free lunch counter. His attempts at serving free soup to a tough customer are disastrous, and he receives considerable rough handling. During his activities in the saloon he gets his beard saturated with gasoline, and when he gets too near the fire over which the free lunch is steaming an explosion occurs which causes him considerable discomfort, but which also rids him of the troublesome whiskers. Disgusted with his experiences, Musty goes his way.
- Norma Ellis is humiliated for five years by her husband, Dr. Hugh Ellis, who believes that no housewife is capable of handling household finances, and she finally rebels, proclaiming American women are more often regarded as bonds-women than wives, asks for a joint bank account. When her husband scoffs, Norma renounces all household duties. Ellis begins to acquiesce as the combined responsibilities become overwhelming. Meanwhile, his brother Ned, a cocaine addict, is attacked by a drug-crazed girl, who tries to blind him with acid. During Ned's lengthy surgery, performed by Ellis, Norma discovers that payment is due on a stock option that promises to make them rich. She borrows from David Power, a family friend who is trying to cure drug addiction. After Ned is stopped from getting more cocaine by Power, he tells the doctor that Power and Norma are having an affair. Ellis drives her and her baby away, but after Power cures Ned, he confesses his lie. The couple reconcile and open a joint account.
- Danny Canavan, the big son of a tough Irish-American blacksmith, is actually not as tough as he looks--he's constantly abused by his wife, his scornful father and his father's employees. One day he is run over by a carriage owned by Rodman Cadbury, the president of an insurance company. Unable to work as a blacksmith anymore--something his wife constantly throws in his face--he gets a job on the subway as a flagman warning traffic of upcoming dynamite blasts. As menial as the job seems at first, it actually begins to change Danny's life.
- Fleeing from New York after election frauds McQuire and Olson, strong-arm politicians, are pursued by female detective Ruby Swift. The politicians elude her, purchase an ancient automobile, and arrive in the rural community of Hicktown just in time for the yearly mayoralty election. Ruby trails them and is on the scene when they put their big-city political knowledge to use in stealing the election. The politicians adopt suffrage as their party and defeat one Franklin Bond, the crusty mayor who has become so hard shelled in his small bailiwick that his defeat is easy at their hands. Ruby poses as an adventuress, is enlisted by the politicians to help them "trim" the town and is present when they steal the ballot boxes and win the election, but does not know where they have hidden the ballots. The daughter of the mayor loves the candidate opposing her father and gets him to withdraw, leaving her father a supposedly-easy field. Later when the ballot boxes are stolen, a rival suitor for the mayor's daughter puts the blame on the young candidate who has withdrawn, and he is sent to jail. Ruby, as secretary to the politicians, causes both to fall in love with her, hoping their rivalry will part them and reveal the hidden ballot boxes. Jealous over Ruby, the politicians quarrel, and not even the suffragette Chief of Police can reconcile them. How Ruby takes advantage of the quarrel and brings them to justice is the climax of this five-reel comedy.
- Larry Brice and his friend Rolliston are suburbanites. Rolliston invites Larry to stay downtown with him and take in the cabarets which Larry, with a pang of misgiving, consents to do, 'phoning home the usual excuse about business. The two friends "do" the various roadhouses, acquiring liquid refreshments and sundry joys en route, winding up finally in a Long Island Palace of Joy. When the confetti-throwing stage is reached, Larry, with splendid aim, bounces a ball of serpentine off the bald head of excitable "Sammy," director of the Italian orchestra. With murder afore-thought, the sensitive musician follows the devious route of the paper missile, arriving at the table of the two friends where reconciliation, wine and spaghetti supplants manslaughter. Larry 'phones his wife, Hetty, that business continues to press, forgetting, however, to shut out the strains of music from the telephone booth. She goes to bed disgusted and some hours later hears her husband arrive with "Sammy" in tow, insisting that the latter take the guest's bedroom. Then Larry promptly falls asleep, awakes in time for the 7:46 and hurries to the office without telling Hetty of his new-found acquaintance. Meanwhile, Carrie, the maid, dirty, slangy, lazy and incompetent, finds the bed disordered, and lifting the covers, screams at the apparition of the sleeping Sammy. Hetty guesses the truth. Sammy forthwith takes his departure, but gets only to the street, where the small boys pelt him unmercifully. Sammy returns and refuses to budge until a suit of clothes is provided. And Hetty, with a wife's freedom, expresses herself clearly to Larry over the telephone, causing that gentleman to rush out. C.O.D. a suit of street clothes for Sammy. In the interim, the suffragette club meets at the Brice home. And then things happen rapidly. The carrier arrives with the clothes; the maid refuses to accept the C.O.D.; Sammy frantically pursues him, beats him up, takes the clothes and is in the act of stealing softly into the house when the suffragettes discover him. He is mauled by four husky women, the constable is called and Hetty again rushes to the rescue, explaining to her friends that Sammy is no burglar. With suggestively-raised eyebrows, the suffragettes march home, making divers and sundry remarks concerning Hetty's conduct. While that unfortunate young woman is carried half fainting to her room, the constable arrives and arrests Sammy. From this plight, Larry, who has just arrived home, saves him. Sammy insists upon staying for supper and Hetty announces the expected arrival of her mother. This causes Larry to hurry Sammy out of the house. They meet Rolliston and in his big racer make another night of it among the roadhouses. In the meantime little Mrs. Rolliston visits Hetty with the information that her husband is also missing, and suggests that Hetty take vengeance. To this end Mrs. Rolliston addresses a love note to Hetty, purporting to come from "Jack," and while concocting their plot are interrupted by the arrival of Larry and Sammy. Hetty slips into a clothes closet, while Mrs. Rolliston slips out of the door. The latter promptly tells her husband, who 'phones Larry of the proposed joke, but forgets to tell him of the letter. When Larry meets Hetty in the dining room, she drops the fake note and he, in a sudden fit of jealousy, creates a family row. Upstairs Sammy has found a pair of Larry's pajamas and goes into the guest's room where the apparition of mother-in-law in bed causes him to flee softly to the nearest room, which chances to be Larry's. That young man meanwhile has gone to Rolliston for an explanation of the note. Hetty, anxious to make up, goes to Larry's room, put her arms around him, and to her horror discovers Sammy. A few minutes later when Larry is returning from Rolliston's, he is made suddenly aware of a terrific racket from the upper bedrooms of his home. Fearing for his wife he rushes up the steps, only to find that Sammy had gotten into mother-in-law's room and had been dealt with in the approved fashion. This settles Sammy, who hurries back to his beloved Broadway, swearing that the commuter's life is no life for him.
- Mary Ladislas elopes with the chauffeur because of his sympathy for her ideals, and they stop at a hotel. The scornful attitude of all who meet them causes Mary to desire immediate marriage, but on the way for a license, the auto overturns and kills the chauffeur. It is too late for Mary to return home now and she is left alone, disconsolate. Hugh Whittaker, ill, given up by the doctors, leaves his affairs in the hands of Drummond, his partner, and prepares to leave for the west. He meets Mary and prevents her suicide. Pitying her and feeling his own end near, he marries her and continues on his journey, after giving her a note to his partner, Drummond, so that he may provide for her. Drummond, who is dissipating and appropriating Hugh's funds, is fascinated by Mary, but she refuses his aid. Later, news comes of Hugh's death. Mary obtains the title role in Carmen at Max's theater, who treasures her for her artistic acting. In a jealous rage he causes the death of David, another actor whom Mary is to marry. Four years pass. Thurston, a young millionaire, who is to marry Mary, is pushed off a ferry boat by Max and drowned. Drummond, meanwhile, is forcing his attentions on Mary. Hugh, contrary to reports, has not been killed. His mining operations in the west have made him a millionaire and he returns home cured. At the theater he sees Mary. She recognizes him and suffers a nervous breakdown. Her unfortunate affairs with men have earned her the title of "The Destroying Angel." She goes to the seashore to recover from her attack. Drummond, meanwhile, who has spent all the money left in his care by Hugh, has disappeared. Unconscious of Mary's whereabouts, Hugh also takes a cottage at the seashore. He foils Drummond, who has suddenly reappeared, in an attempt to kidnap Mary. Drummond is killed in the scuffle by Hugh's valet. Fearing to cast her terrible spell upon him, Mary leaves Hugh and returns to the stage. He follows, however, and Max attempts to shoot him, but Hugh has broken the deadly spell, for Max's bullets go wild. Mary, who really loves Hugh, gives herself up to her love, and returns with him. His is the charmed life which has pierced the circle of death about "The Destroying Angel."
- Prologue: John J. Haggleton is the oil king of the world. In his first years while fighting bitterly for success his methods are unscrupulous. His wife suffers as a result and learns to hate his dishonesty. One day, finding written proof of a plot to burn up the oil refinery of a competitor, she leaves him, taking her baby boy and the condemning documents. Lawrence, a competitor of Haggleton, shoots himself as a result of Haggleton's manipulations and another, Moran, ruined, falls into misery. Haggleton's wife dies in poverty, leaving her boy, Philip, in the care of a poor old man named Gentle, who brings him up under an assumed name so that the boy shall never know his father's name. Gentle keeps the documents incriminating Haggleton. The story proper opens in Moran's home. Moran, who is now working in a miserable East Side bakery with his daughter, Jenny, a woman of the streets who has been ruined by Lawrence's son, but who has reformed, is in love with Philip Ames, who is really the son of Haggleton. He in turn is in love, not with Jenny, but with Margaret Lawrence, daughter of the man who committed suicide. She is a nurse in a hospital. Haggleton comes to visit the tenement in which the Morans live and there meets his son, who is calling on Moran. Haggleton does not reveal his identity. He discovers through Gentle the identity of his son and of the hatred his son has been taught to bear against the oil king. Haggleton is struck by the boy's speeches and when shown the horrible conditions of the people living in the tenement, he offers to help them with money, but his son refuses the money, saying that a man in order to make charity effective must not merely hand money to poor people but must understand them as well. Haggleton, in an effort to win back his son, decides to try living as a laborer. He sends orders for his yacht to sail, spreading the rumor that he is on board for a long cruise. Then he starts life over in a tenement without a penny. Haggleton starts work as a kneader in Moran's bake-shop and after studying conditions begins to build up an electrical bakeshop, which will later become a real bread trust. As they prosper, the home of Moran becomes happier, but Moran, inflamed by socialistic ideas, spread about by a few bakers who are thrown out of work by the electrical machinery, nurses anarchistic hatred against men such as Haggleton who ruined him. He doesn't know, however, that Jackson is Haggleton. To this argument Haggleton explains to him that his bread trust may be hurting a few bakers, but benefits the whole East Side. Haggleton learns of the engagement of Philip with Margaret Lawrence. He tries to withhold this marriage as he has much greater plans in mind for his son, and in so doing discloses his real identity. Moran, infuriated, tries to shoot Haggleton, but Philip, who has learned to love him in the past months, stands between Moran and his father and receives the shot. He is taken to the Haggleton home on Fifth Avenue and nursed there by Margaret Lawrence. When his health is restored, Margaret announces her intention of leaving the house, for she thinks she can never bear to marry a son of the man who ruined her father. She is stubborn in her pride, but finally yields when Jenny comes to her and tells her that her own destroyer was none other than Margaret's brother. Margaret softens and henceforth Haggleton, Margaret and Philip devote their lives and huge fortune to the development of really useful charity.
- Tom Grayson, an engineer employed in Mexico, quarrels with some Greasers. When they plot to kill him, the plan is overheard by Lake, a promoter of worthless mines who scents an opportunity to make himself solid with the engineer. Accordingly the authorities are informed, and Tom is saved and Lake thereby wins Tom's friendship and regard. Back in the New England village, Judge Grayson, his wife, and their adopted daughter Cecelia make things as pleasant as possible for the little woman next door, who is socially ostracized by the village gossips because nothing is known of her former life and associates. When his work in Mexico is finished Tom returns home and thus meets the woman next door. Lake, hoping to obtain Tom's endorsement in a fraudulent mining venture, visits the Grayson's and one day is introduced to "Miss Ferguson." He acknowledges the introduction with a "Hello, Jenny." The little woman at first denies her identity and then finally admits that she is Jenny Gay, the former actress whose celebrated divorce suit was dragged through the mire of the yellow journals the year before. Tom, however, refuses to lose faith in her and she tells him her unfortunate history; how, when she was starring on Broadway, Lake had been an ardent suitor and had made life miserable with his persecutions. To escape him she married Ben Whittier, a wealthy banker, but found no happiness in the union, owing to her husband's fondness for Lake and his readiness to believe Lake's lies about her. Then Jenny told him of that night in the big hotel which formed the basis of Whittier's divorce proceedings; of how she had returned about midnight and gone to her room when Lake, who was secreted in a closet, suddenly stepped out. Before she could break from his grasp the door was pushed open and Whittier, with two detectives rushed in. After the sensational divorce, Jenny went to this quiet Connecticut town to seek peace and seclusion. At the conclusion of her narrative, they agree that the only thing to do is to wring a confession from Lake. This they plan to do. In the meantime, Tom's father, a retired lawyer, suspects Lake. With the aid of Federal authorities he is able to do this and on the day set, two secret service men arrive. That afternoon Jenny writes a note to Lake telling him that she has changed her mind about marrying him. Tom, Mr. Grayson and the detectives are hid in Jenny's house and, at the proper moment. Tom comes out and forces from Lake a statement of the framed-up divorce. When this is published, the announcement of the coming marriage of Tom Grayson and "the woman next door" is announced.
- Amy Cary, owner of a controlling interest in the Peoples Gas Company, of which her uncle, Peter Cary, is president, is practical but sentimental. It is indefinitely understood that she is engaged to marry Norman Van Aulsten, whose intriguing father is vice-president of the company. Van Aulsten, Sr., has secretly purchased worthless Suburban Lighting Company stock and plans to unload it at an exorbitant price on the People's Gas Company, depending on his son to induce Amy to vote approval of his plan. Amy goes to Trout Lake Camp to spend the summer, where she meets a chum, Helen Nelson, who invites her brother Bob, a young attorney, to join her. Young Van Aulsten also is a visitor, paying considerable attention to Amy Cary, but clandestinely making love to, and deceiving to the point of defiling, the daughter of Johnson, the camp guide. Amy's uncle, innocently falling into Van Aulsten's scheme to unload the worthless lighting company stock on the People's Gas Company, writes, asking Amy her opinion regarding it. Her reply brings him to the camp also, where he is quickly followed by Van Aulsten, Sr. Nelson fathoms Van Aulsten's intentions regarding the worthless stock, and also sees that Van Aulsten is depending on his son's marriage to Amy to further his machinations. He invokes the aid of his sister's sweetheart, who invites Amy to go for a row with him. She steps into the boat, Nelson quickly follows, leaving his willing friend ashore. Nelson talks plainly to Amy, telling her he is taking her to her uncle who has gone to a nearby island for a fishing trip, and that he purposes telling her uncle about Van Aulsten's scheme. He apparently arouses her ire by advising her not to marry young Van Aulsten. Arrived at the island they are surprised not to find Amy's uncle, who had returned to the camp for forgotten fishing tackle. The situation is tense when they discover that their boat has gone adrift. Meanwhile Amy's absence has occasioned alarm, and when Bob's friend tells of the proposed trip to the island, a rescue party is made up of Amy's uncle, Van Aulsten and his son. Arrived there they find Amy and Bob trying to prepare a belated meal. Nelson is asked to leave while her uncle and Van Aulsten urge Amy to get ready to got at once with them to the city, where a meeting of the Gas Company stockholders is scheduled the next day. Bob suspects their intentions, and promptly sets their boat adrift also. When this is discovered, there is general indignation in which Amy apparently joins. Bob is berated, but excites Amy's sentimental nature again when he takes to the water for a long, perilous swim, in an attempt to recover their boat. "Isn't he a hero?" she asks of young Van Aulsten. "I'd like to see you do anything as brave as that." The marooned party is finally rescued by Bob's relief expeditions and taken back to the camp, where, as they land, Johnson the guide, attempts to shoot young Van Aulsten. Amy prevents the tragedy, but scorns young Van Aulsten when she learns of his behavior toward Johnson's daughter. In rapid sequence, a happy termination of the situation is reached, but the bankrupt lighting company's stock is still on the market.
- Musty enjoys all the comforts of a fine home during the owner's absence, and is happily snoozing when band of desperate burglars arrive, bent on pillaging the mansion. With them they bring a huge packing in which to carry away their loot. Unable to escape through the door, Musty hides in the packing case. Very soon he is smothered beneath a large cargo of pillows, draperies, rugs, furniture, bric-a-brac and other various and sundry articles. The case is then nailed up and carried, Musty and all, to the burglars' den. There Musty is discovered and held a prisoner till morning. The leader of the burglars runs across Willie Work, another hobo, and conceives the idea of a prize-fight between the two. They are taken aboard a large barge and told: "Youse guys are going to battle, and the loser gets shot at sunrise." A three-round bout then follows, during which Musty and Willie introduce a number of bits of pugilistic strategy never before seen in the prize ring. The fray ends at the finish of the third round, and the two battlers leave the barge together.
- After a comfortable night's rest in a convenient henhouse, Musty and his friend Willie Work set out in search of adventure. They select a mansion with the intention of burglary, but a militant sawbuck frightens them away. They are summoned by Madame Cayenne, a jealously-guarded wife who promises them a fine lunch if they will mail a letter to her lover. They agree and the lunch is served. Just as they begin to eat, Monsieur Cayenne returns. Musty dives out of the second-floor window and hangs from the sill. Willie, who fails to escape, is introduced as Madame's brother from Kokomo, and royally entertained. The lunch is served to him alone, although he is loyal to his friend and makes numerous attempts to slip various dainties to Musty, who remains hanging by his hands from the sill. Willie particularly enjoys the nut course, and uses Musty's head to crack the shells. Even the water in the finger bowls appeals to him after he has flavored it with sugar and lemon. At last he takes his departure and goes to sleep on the lawn of the house in which he has been entertained. Morning comes and Willie wakes. He discovers that Musty has been hanging all night from a window only a few feet above the ground. The two of them set out together, but Willie spies a free lunch sign and decamps. Musty spies a beautiful maiden dressing in front of a window. The maiden, who is not so beautiful when she turns her face toward one, sees him peeping and hurls a water pitcher which strikes Musty on the head. Musty takes this as a gentle hint to leave, and so resumes his travels. Evening brings him to a lodging house, which advertises lodging for three cents and up. Musty enters and is given a resting place on a rope. The same rope is occupied by others whose snoring prevents our hero from slumbering. He complains to the attendant who induces sleep by hitting Musty over the head with a stuffed club. When the gentle dawn appears Musty makes his way into a private room, to escape the attendant who is putting everybody out in far from gentle fashion. Even here, however, he finds he cannot escape, for a pile-driver descends upon his head, knocking him into the exit chute, through which he is rushed into the street, where he collides with a laborer engaged in mixing mortar. The workman is precipitated into his own product, and hastily decamps.
- Felix, the King of Wallonia, is sad. He wants to be loved for himself, not for his title, and he finds it a hard job. Because of state reasons, he has to marry Louise, Princess of the neighboring State of Trebizond. The old Prince, her father, craves the elixir of youth, and gets drunk so often that Trebizond is in bad shape. Thus, it is up to Felix to be King of both States. But Louise has a love affair all of her own. Felix sees her in the embrace of Stepan, the heir presumptive to his throne, and disgusted with things in general and Louise in particular, he flees to America in disguise. With him goes his faithful comrade, Baron Tarnow. By a strange twist of circumstance he takes a job as butler in the home of J.P. Morton, multi-millionaire. There he meets Marcia, Morton's daughter, and the jig is up. He loves her. At a ball given by the Mortons an ambassador from Wallonia recognizes his King. At word from Felix, the ambassador introduces him to the Mortons as a Count. Felix creates quite a stir. Janzi, a bandit, whom Stepan has sent to America to do away with Felix, sends the Mortons a note. He describes Felix as an impostor and a fraud. Thus is Felix ordered out of the Morton home. Janzi and his confederates try to kill him but succeed only in wounding him. Marcia, feeling that she really loves him, saves him from death and nurses him back to health. Then Felix and Marcia elope and plan to get married. Papa Morton catches them and prepares to let Felix have it, but his true identity is revealed. Morton realizes that Felix is a real King. The Ambassador urges Felix to return to Wallonia. Since Stepan has become King, the people are being outraged. Because of his royal blood, Marcia knows that she cannot marry him and so gives Felix up. He returns home and pays Stepan for his villainy. Then, to save the State, he prepares to marry Louise of Trebizond. No matter what the cost the State must be saved. Pop Morton finds that Marcia loves Felix and that the separation is making her unhappy. So, like a real American millionaire, he buys up the Kingdom of Trebizond, royal titles and all. When Felix goes to the altar to be married, he finds that the Princess of Trebizond is his own little Marcia. Long live the King and Queen of Wallonia-Trebizond.
- Musty works in an automat where the customers steal food using slugs and reaching through the vending doors. Musty smashes them over the head with a mallet, and dumps the bodies down a chute to what appears to be a sausage processor.
- Musty appropriates a bicycle but proves to be a poor rider, as far as the "safety first" principle is concerned. In attempting to avoid running down a lady intent upon tying her shoelaces in the middle of the sidewalk. Musty crashes through the door of a telegraph office, temporarily wrecking the establishment. Seeing his bicycle, and being in need of a messenger boy, the telegraph operator drafts Musty to fill the job. Our hero is magically provided with an A.D.T. uniform and put to work. To prove he is a real, genuine messenger boy, Musty promptly falls into a deep sleep on the bench. The lady fair finds it necessary to have a lot of long poles taken away from her house and sends for a boy. Musty is awakened with considerable difficulty, and only after unique methods, savoring of the physical rather than the psychological, are applied. On his way to the residence of the lady fair, his bicycle breaks down and he is forced to "get out and get under." While he is lying prone on the roadway, an automobile backs over him and stops with one of the rear wheels resting on Musty's chest. Musty finds this very annoying indeed, and appeals to a passing, cop. The cop, after examining the chauffeur's license and chatting with him for some time, orders him to proceed, and Musty is released from his predicament. Musty goes on to his destination and manages to get the poles through the door by widening the latter with a saw. His next trip is to the home of another lady, and while waiting for her to give him the package he is to deliver, he is subjected to a terrible shock. The lady goes behind a screen, and immediately various bits of feminine wearing apparel are tossed over the screen, alighting at Musty's feet. Musty's face shows his mental agony, but pretty soon the screen falls and shows that the buxom lady of the house has merely been searching a trunk to find the box that Musty is to take away. In the park, a pretty nurse maid persuades the ever-obliging Musty to mind the baby carriage while she talks politics to the park policeman. Musty tires of rocking the carriage and stops. Then he gets a terrible shock, for the infant, who wears long whiskers and weighs nearly two hundred pounds, raises up from the perambulator and commands: "Rock me, ya big bum, rock me." And Musty rocks him, with a rock. Musty is provided with two lively assistants. Speedy Rush and Inna Hurry, who strangely resemble lay figures, but who work beautifully in harmony with the energetic Musty. The three get into trouble with the cop, who pursues them until they fall over a cliff. The audience is not long left in suspense as to their fate, however, for Musty and his pals calmly get up and walk away.
- Musty steals a ride on an automobile rumble and falls sleep as comfortably as if he were in a Pullman berth. All goes well until the machine runs over a rock and Musty is cast to earth. He rises and hurls away the offending rock, which strikes the bandaged foot of a gouty passerby. Musty then calmly resumes his nap in the middle of the road, undisturbed by the passing autos, which miss him by inches. Dippy Mary arrives upon the scene, and struck by Musty's unnatural beauty, falls in love with him. The result is that she gives him free reign in her employer's mansion during the latter's absence. A waiter arrives with a splendid lunch, which Musty would have enjoyed hugely had not an expressman dropped a trunk on one of the upper floors, causing the plaster to fall from the ceiling onto the repast. Musty tips the waiter with a large, juicy pie, which he hurls into the face of the menial. A downy bed in the room tempts Musty. He climbs in and falls asleep. His slumber is punctuated with beautiful dreams, during which he bathes in a bath-tub full of beer and makes the acquaintance of several charming damsels. The dreams are disturbed, however, by the serenades of a "little Dutch band" and Musty is forced to drop water, pieces of furniture and various other missiles to persuade the serenaders to depart. Resuming his slumber, he dreams of a beautiful maid who tempts him with a bumper of sparkling wine. While pursuing the illusion, he falls out of the second-story window and bounds into a passing ambulance, in which he is whisked away.
- "Al" Spencer, a gambler not averse to cheating, occupying an apartment with his wife and infant daughter, deserts his family after attacking and robbing a card-player a confederate had brought to his place. Living in the same building is Nancy Springer, a shoplifter whose thief husband is in jail awaiting trial. His attorney, anxious to create sympathy for his client, urges Nancy to borrow an infant and appear with it in court during her husband's trial. Mrs. Spencer innocently lends her baby; the ruse works, and Springer is acquitted. Nancy, going to return the baby to its mother, finds the woman dead, so she and her husband informally adopt the child, naming it Nell. Fifteen years elapse. Spencer, former gambler, now known as Albert Sprague, is prosperous in business and apparently reformed. He marries a wealthy widow with a young son. They reside on Long Island on a very pretentious estate. The Springers, attracted by Mrs. Sprague's display of gems and jewelry, plot to rob the Sprague residence. Leasing an adjoining estate, they soon are on friendly terms with their intended victims. Nell, now a clever thief, is purposely seized with illness while visiting at Sprague's and cannot be removed for several days, during which time it is planned that she shall steal the Sprague diamonds, pearls and jewelry. She falls in love with young Sprague, confesses to him that she is a thief. Her adopted parents learning of this, and knowing the police will investigate, boldly rob the Sprague residence. While doing this, Springer kills young Sprague and his mother dies of shock. The adopted daughter Nell is locked up, tried, and found guilty of complicity in the murder. A thief turns state's evidence, the Springers are caught, and through her statements Sprague learns that Nell is his own daughter whom he deserted when she was an infant. He works for her release, finally accomplishes it, then discloses to her his identity, but she spurns him. Eventually they are united.
- Musty Suffer's misadventures working as a delivery boy include delivering to a house where no one is home, suffering back pain and providing a card cheat with a getaway.
- Musty holds down a job as general factotum at the Busy Bee Amusement Arcade, one of his chief duties being that of taking tickets at the entrance to the moving stairway which leads to the cinema theater on the second floor. A "tough guy" slips Musty a milk ticket and starts up the stairway, but Musty proves himself equal to the occasion by reversing the escalator which causes the miscreant to lose his footing and make a hasty exit head over heels. The boss introduces Musty to Woof-Woof, the wild man, and Leonardo the Lion, who share a cage in the museum of the arcade. "If they get rough, slip 'em one of these magic crackers and they'll be as peaceful as two lambs," he informs Musty as he presents him with several of the wonderful bits of pastry. The boss departs and Musty hugely enjoys teasing the occupants of the cage. Then he passes on to a music box, which he succeeds in putting out of order. Woof-Woof and Leonardo, much peeved at the teasing Musty has given them, escape from the cage and chase the patrons and employees through the various rooms of the arcade until Musty subdues them with one of the magic crackers and lures them back into their cage. While cleaning the hat of a patron, Musty carelessly covers the headpiece, which is whirling on the electric drier, with shoe blacking instead of cleaner. The whirling drier covers the unfortunate patron from head to foot with the blacking. In this emergency Musty calls upon the Hindoo Spot Remover for aid. While trying to explain to the Hindoo how the accident occurred, he splatters the Indian's white robe with the remaining contents of the blacking bottle. Unperturbed, the Asiatic waves his magic handkerchief over the spots and they disappear. Musty seizes the handkerchief and hurries back to the disgruntled patron. He waves the handkerchief before the blacking-stained victim, and lo, the latter appears clad in a new suit of clothes. Flossie, the ticket-seller, attempts to steal a tune from the music box which Musty has broken, and finding it out of order hangs upon it a sign reading "Out of Order" and calls upon Musty for aid. Musty fixes it so well that it explodes. Then he hangs a sign reading "Now it is" beside the original sign of "Out of Order." The escalator or moving stairway is operated by power which the human dynamo generates by riding a stationary bicycle, and when the fat boy from the freak room steps on the slanting lift, the human dynamo breaks down. Musty has to oil him in order to start the escalator again. Later Musty takes his place but tiring of the work, uses a magic cracker to coax Leonardo the lion to ride the stationary wheel. Leonardo does beautifully until his tail catches in the mechanism, when Musty has to hurry to the rescue. Musty's boss sets him to operating the old prize package game in front of the box office, and Musty's spiel hugely interests a large crowd consisting of two children until the spieler spies a copper and beats a hasty retreat. Once more taking tickets at the escalator another "tough" tries to enter without the formality of presenting his credentials, but Musty once more proves equal to the occasion. He pulls the cord connecting with the trick doors at the head of the stairs, and the "tough" loses no time in "coming down."
- Out of a job, Musty haunts the employment agency. The boss tells him that help is scarce these days, and that whatever anyone calls for, Musty will have to be it. In order to fit him for holding any job whatsoever, the boss turns him loose with a variety of costumes, and Musty proves his ability as a quick change artist. The boss receives a call from a fair client, who wants a maid, and Musty dons feminine regalia and answers the call. He gets the job. One of his first tasks is to go to the employment agency and get a butler for his new mistress. When he arrives at the agency the boss tells him he can be the butler, too. Musty changes to a butler's costume and goes back, but takes his maid's costume with him. Being both butler and maid in the same house, Musty has to move in lively fashion to keep on both jobs at once. Then, to make things worse, he is sent, in his capacity of butler, to hire a gardener. The employment agency boss gives Musty a third costume and another pair of false whiskers and sends him to hold down the third job in addition to the original two. Musty strides happily into the house when he suddenly catches sight of himself in the mirror. The result is almost fatal. One look at his own face bedecked in the false mustaches nearly finishes him, but he braces up and bravely sees the trouble through. In his capacity of maid, our hero is set to washing windows. The ladder on which he is standing falls through the window and Musty escapes a long fall only by hanging to the sill by his knees. His fair mistress rescues him and Musty sets to work to rescue the ladder. He drops a rope and calls upon an amiable entomologist for help. The entomologist leaves the butterfly he is chasing to come to Musty's aid. He ties the rope to the ladder and signals Musty to haul away. And Musty does, but the unfortunate bug expert gets his legs entangled in the ladder and is pulled upward, only to be lowered several times into a well-filled rain-barrel when Musty and his mistress, whom he has called upon for help, lose their grip upon the rope. Finally the victim is hauled into and through the house, and Musty attaches the rope to an automobile, which dashes off, dragging ladder, entomologist and, as a climax, Musty himself, who is caught in the mix-up as the picture fades.
- Musty Suffer gets a job as caddy, but performs so poorly that he doesn't hold it long. So he decides to tee off on his own account. He finds that the clubs are too small and calls upon his famous lucky horseshoe for aid, wishing for larger clubs. A fairy tramp appears and grants his wish. Even then his game is not satisfactory, but he solves the difficulty by wishing for a larger ball, which he gets. He knocks the ball into the clubhouse, ruining the club members' dinner, and later on gets into difficulties with a waiter, who breaks one of the clubs across his fat body. Stomach pains naturally result, and when Musty sees an advertisement offering free treatment and free board to hook-worm victims, he applies for treatment and gets it. And it is some treatment. He is mauled, pounded, beaten, pummeled, kicked, thrown about, walked upon and otherwise maltreated until the "hook-worm" is forced to give up the ghost. Then, after trapping the hands of his "doctors" in the viselike fingerprint machine. Musty appropriates one of the chief doctors' cigars and makes his departure.
- Mrs. O'Brien, newly rich, vainly aspires to social prominence, an ambition in which her common, chess-loving husband does not sympathize. Pretty Mary Ellen, the daughter, and a Japanese butler constitute the household. One day Mrs. O'Brien sends out invitations to a party which the Van Dusens and Van Astorbilts refuse to attend. While she is mourning this loss, an automobile breaks down in front of the house, and a slender young man who introduces himself as Lord Algernon Ste. Clair seeks refuge, while his car awaits the repairman. Mrs. O'Brien, scenting a noble match, promptly invites him to stay for the party. Meanwhile a rough-looking character alights from an automobile, and after a careful inspection of the house, rejoins his friends and disappears. An hour later, immaculately groomed, he enters the club of which O'Brien is a member, and finding the solitary old Irishman playing a lonesome game of chess, offers himself for partner. In this way he obtains an invitation to attend Mary Ellen's party, in due time the guests arrive, consisting of the good-hearted but illiterate Flanagans, their two children and the stranger. There immediately commences a vigorous suit for the hand of pretty Mary Ellen on the part of Lord Algy and the stranger. Mary Ellen shows her preference for the stranger. That night weird things happen. The stranger who has been invited to spend the night, slips into the library in time to see O'Brien much excited over the appearance of a white hand that has deftly poked through the portieres in search of the electric switch. In another instant the stranger throws O'Brien to the floor, and Lord Algy in hand, stands over them. There is a scuffle and the stranger disappears, gun in hand, through the French window. An hour later Lord Algy, in his room, cautiously draws a string of pearls from his pocket, only to turn and face the gun of the stranger, who raises his head from back of Lord Algy's bed. There follows explanations and the stranger shows his badge as a government secret service agent, long in search of the crook known as Lord Algy. O'Brien rejoices and Mary Ellen slips her hand into that of the "stranger's," while Mrs. O'Brien, thoroughly disgusted, hurls a volume of "Who's Who in Society" into the waste basket.
- Mr. Carr is a kleptomaniac and his two daughters, Madge and Joan, are to be married to Mr. Cluney and Dr. Willoughby, respectively. Pretty Nell Jones, a light-fingered maid, is engaged that afternoon by Mrs. Carr after promising her sweetheart, Jack Doogan, a crook, that she will assist him to do one last job. Peculiar and mysterious things begin to happen in the Carr home with the arrival of the happy bridegrooms-to-be. A ruby suddenly disappears from the library table, into Nell's shoe, but the empty box is discovered by Cluney in his overcoat pocket a few minutes later. The family promptly suspects Nell, and Cluney telephones for a detective. While he is in the act of 'phoning, Nell slips the jewel back into the box where it is discovered by Mr. Carr just as Cluney lays down the 'phone. Cluney is stunned by the discovery and confides in Dr. Willoughby, who unsympathetically informs Cluney that he evidently suffers from unconscious kleptomania. The situation is further complicated by the arrival of Nell's sweetheart, Jack, whom she tells of the expected detective. This dignitary is met by Nell who, after deftly stripping him of star and watch, introduces him to Jack as Mr. Cluney. Jack sends him away on a mysterious mission and Nell then introduces Jack to the family as the detective from central headquarters. Cluney confides to him that he suspects himself of being a kleptomaniac and asks that Jack keep a close eye on him. Complications set in thick and fast. With two kleptomaniacs and two real crooks and a double wedding pending. Mrs. Carr has her hands full. Wedding presents disappear and reappear in the most astonishing way. A burly investor leaves $10,000 in steel stock as security for a loan and when he returns with cash to redeem his collateral, both stock and money disappear into Jack Doogan's pocket. This leads to the visit of a wagon-load of police but before the captain can read his search-warrant, even that vanishes through Doogan's nimble fingers into Mr. Carr's side pocket. Ever cocksure Dr. Willoughby shares the general hysteria and finds himself possessed of the stock securities but unable to replace them without openly branding himself a thief. The return of the detective adds a touch of drama to the evening. With an automobile liberally filled with movable valuables of all kinds ready for departure, Jack draws his gun and under its cover makes his escape, hurrying to the upper rooms of the building with faithful Nell at his heels. Believing him to have jumped through an open window, the police scatter out-of-doors and a second later Dr. Willoughby stops Jack and Nell in a hallway at the point of his revolver. This Jack deftly wrenches from the doctor's hand and again has the company at his mercy. But Nell longs for peace and the good-will of her erstwhile employers and so prevails upon Jack to throw away his gun. Then follow explanations and forgiveness. Jack shows his marriage license and the minister ends an exciting evening with a triple wedding.
- Musty hunts wild horses in the bad lands of New Jersey, and by putting salt on one's tail, he catches a fine specimen. He sells it to a farmer after recommending the animal as an educated horse. But the animal refuses to stay in the stable in which it is locked, and breaks away to join the fascinating Musty. Now that Musty has a horse he begins to have ambitions. He wishes for a cabby's suit and a nice sea-going hack, and behold, who suddenly appears but the fairy tramp, Musty's guardian genius. The fairy's wand causes the wished-for raiment and vehicle to become Musty's. At nightfall comes rest for the weary. Musty appropriates a stable over which is a room designed for human occupation. He retires in the latter, but awakens to find his trusty steed in bed with him. In answer to Musty's inquiries as to how he got there, the faithful animal shows how he rigged up a pulley with a plow for a counter-weight. He descends to the ground floor in the same way and Musty soon has him in the harness. Musty gets a slightly inebriated customer, whom he drives almost a quarter of a block to what he assumes is the customer's home. He carries him to the second floor, opens a door and pushes the customer through. The door, it seems, is a false door opening into space, and the customer falls to the ground. Consequently, when Musty comes out of the house he finds the man outside again. He repeats the operation several times, but finally becomes disgusted and hangs the alcoholic one on a telegraph pole, after accepting all his money as remuneration for his services. When the horse finally becomes mutinous and balky, Musty has a brilliant idea and builds a fire under him. The horse moves all right, but only far enough to draw the cab over the flames. Then he balks again. But Musty is undismayed. From the recesses of his cab he fishes a fireman's suit and a hose and extinguishes the blaze. The horse finally starts, and when Musty reaches a convenient point of observation, he mounts to the upper deck of his sea-going hack and sweeps the horizon through his spyglass. While he is thus occupied, a careless autoist strikes the cab, carrying vehicle, horse and all out from under Musty and leaving our hero hanging in a tree. Musty, however, has had the presence of mind to grab the wireless apparatus attached to the hack, and as the picture fades sends out the call of "S.O.S."
- Musty holds down a job as bellboy at the Outside Inn. No guest calls for anything that Musty cannot supply. When one gentleman complains that the gas is leaking. Musty hangs a kettle on the fixture to catch it, for another, whose bed is too narrow, he provides first a saddle, and when this does not solve the problem, he has an inspiration and delivers a balancing pole to the discomforted patron. When a tragedian arrives after all the rooms are filled. Musty takes matters into his own hands and gives him the hall room on the second floor, previously occupied by the proprietor's favorite horse. Of course bellboys are merely human and thus prone to make occasional mistakes. Among Musty's errors was that of getting interested in a flirtation with an actress-guest and inadvertently stepping backward into the elevator shaft. The fall does not effect his efficiency, however, and when the tragedian complains that there is no steam in his room. Musty brings him ten cents' worth in a paper bag. He and the proprietor also figure out a novel way of conveying liquid refreshments to the tragedian's room via telephone. The tragedian and the actress finally start a rehearsal of a murder scene in the latter's room. Musty sees the struggle through the keyhole and summons the police and fire departments, to say nothing of ambulances, taxicabs, etc. As a result the guests come sliding down the trick staircase just in time to meet the entering police and firemen. When the situation is explained by the two ambitious thespians, Musty finds himself in wrong with all the world.
- In Milville, Kittredge St. John meets his old confederate, Roxane Bellairs, and they decide to "clean up" the town. Kittredge has a scheme, he tells Roxane, which he is going to keep secret even from her. He employs a cultured man, who is the exact double of himself in appearance, and instructs him that his duty will be to represent him at social functions as Kittredge St. John. Roxane works her way into the good graces of Major Holbrook and Mr. Bonwit, of the Milville hank. Society in Milville is entertained at Mrs. Shackleton's ball. The double, in love with Dorothy Paget, leaves after the ball in company with Major Holbrook, for the club for a game of cards. Roxane, who sees what is going on between the double and Dorothy Paget, becomes jealous, believing that the man is Kittredge. During the night of the ball, the Milville bank is robbed, and detectives discover Kittredge St. John as the burglar. The double is arrested but proves an alibi by Major Holbrook. Mr. Bonwit is in love with Roxane and lavishes gifts and money upon her. In honor of the engagement, Mrs. Shackleton gives a dinner party. While the guests are in the dining room, the house is robbed and the maid finds Kittredge at the safe, screaming her discovery, but Kittredge escapes into the next house. The double, however, is in the country with Dorothy Paget's family. Believing the double in the country to be Kittredge, the guests discredit the maid's story.
- Musty has a terrible toothache, so off he goes to the dentist--an experience that turns out to be much more painful than the tooth itself.
- Musty is enjoying a nap in the middle of a country road when along comes Silly Billy with his wheelbarrow full of hay. He loads Musty into his one-man-power pushmobile, covers him up with hay and resumes the journey. Pretty soon he passes a well and stops for a drink. While he is drinking, Musty awakens and departs. Billy refreshed by his draught, is very strong, and when he seizes the handles of his lightened vehicle, it flies into the air, descending upon the head of the unlucky Musty and completely knocking him out. Musty is discovered by some passing soldiers and interned as a suspicious character, but when he sees that his guards pass through the grating of his cell by merely bending aside the flexible bars, our noble young hero loses no time in making his escape. Tired of aimless wandering, Musty seats himself on a convenient stump and wishes for a good "soft" job. A fairy tramp suddenly appears before him and leads him to a huge signboard which announces that Dr. Hickory and Dr. Nut are looking for a refined young man as a subject in their experiments with the power of imagination. After mysteriously changing clothes with a tastily attired clothier's dummy, Musty gets the job. Dr. Hickory and Dr. Nut, assisted by their charming young lady helper, put Musty through a fine course of sprouts. He is seated before a splendid dinner, but when he turns his head the plates become empty as if by magic. The two doctors congratulate Musty on his splendid appetite. "You've eaten it all," they say, "Now drink," referring him to a punch howl which fills automatically with tempting liquid before his very eyes. He fills one small glass and sees the punch bowl empty. While gazing in wonder at the bowl, his glass changes to a flatiron, much to his disgust. He is put to bed and immediately awakened, told that he has slept twelve hours and that it is now time for breakfast. Delighted, he takes his place at the table and seizes a coffee pot which suddenly takes on the appearance of a live goose. He is then treated to an imaginary game of pool, in which be shows great dexterity, and a psychological sleigh ride, which amuses him hugely, but nearly freezes him to death. Then Dr. Hickey tells him he'll show him his future wife. His hair is carefully combed and he is hit over the head with a stuffed club. While he is semi-conscious the imagination specialists urge him to look through a pair of field glasses. Through the lenses he sees a vision of his old friend, Dippy Mary, busily engaged in massaging a lawn with curry comb and brush. Then Dr. Hickory hits him in the head with an axe, and when Musty awakes he finds himself in the road beside the shattered remains of Silly Billy's wheelbarrow.
- Broadway actor Lyle, is playing one-night stands in the West. One afternoon he drops into a small theatre where a repertoire company of the 10-20-30 sort is playing. He is struck with the beauty and talent of Ruth Darrell, a young member of the company, and sees in her just the type demanded by a new play in which he is to be featured the following season. He takes steps to meet the girl, arranges with his New York manager for an interview with her, and the following autumn finds her playing in his support in one of the new Broadway successes. Here she is seen by Lord, a wealthy manufacturer of woolen goods, who falls in love with her and asks her to marry him, in spite of his maiden sister's protests. Ruth accepts him. Ruth is a happy, carefree woman, and has earned the title of "Our Lady of Laughter." Lord, who is a hard-headed business man, is in great financial difficulties because he has spent a huge sum in filling a government contract, for which he finds his business demanding most of his time. One night she gives a dinner to her former friends of the stage, including Lyle, Banks, the Broadway manager, and her old friends of the theatrical boarding-house, whom prominent among are the Marvelous Sylvesters. Lord and his sister Jane are shocked by the theatrical people's antics and insists that Ruth sever all connections with her former friends. This awakens her spirit and when she continues to find herself deprived of the company of her husband because of his application to business she goes back upon the stage and plays m support of Lyle. In the meantime, Lord, pressed more and more by his creditors, has made arrangements with bank president Robbins, for a loan to be made on the date when a number of his notes shall fall due. Cole, head of the woolen trust, sees an opportunity to wreck Lord's business completely. He brings pressure to bear on Robbins, and together they play to disappoint Lord at the last moment. When his notes fall due the loan from the bank will not be forthcoming. One night Lord goes to the theatre to see his wife play. Lyle notices him in the audience, and being half drunk, plays the love scenes with Ruth with more-than-ordinary ardor. Lord notices this and becomes furious. When the play is over, Lord makes his way to Ruth's dressing room. Meanwhile Lyle follows Ruth to her dressing room and has her in his arms when Lord enters; how they are positioned, Lyle is unable to see that she is resisting him. Mad with jealousy, he tears Lyle from her and knocks him to the floor. Ruth tries to explain, but he throws her aside and bursts out of the dressing room. Ruth, realizing that her love for the old theatrical life has come between her and her husband, deserts the stage and seeks forgetfulness in a new environment. Lord buries himself deeper than ever in his business affairs. Banks, who has taken a liking to Lord, learns from Lyle in one of the latter's tipsy confidential moods that Ruth was entirely innocent of any wrong in connection with the dressing room episode. He carries this information to Lord and finally succeeds in convincing him that she was not at fault. Sometime later we find Ruth a telephone operator. Accidentally cutting in on one of the lines, she hears one of Cole's henchmen talking to his chief, and in the conversation her husband's name is mentioned. She learns of the plot to double-cross him in the matter of the loan. She immediately sends him word of the impending disaster by messenger boy. Bank happens to be in Lord's office when the boy arrives with the news. He knows of a secret affair which banker Robbins had with an actress, and hastens to Robbins' office, threatening him with the exposure and scandal unless he carries through the loan as originally planned. Meantime, Lord has gone direct to Cole. Banks finds the banker more in fear of Cole and the money trust than he is of scandal. Robbins becomes defiant, and Banks is forced to leave without having accomplished his purpose. Lord, however, meets with better success at Cole's office. He threatens the woolen magnate with prosecution for criminal conspiracy unless he instructs Robbins to make the loan as agreed. Cole hesitates. Lord seizes him by the throat and makes him 'phone to Robbins to make the loan. This is done and the situation is saved for Lord. Naturally his first impulse is to thank and reward the unknown telephone operator who supplied him with a knowledge of the plot. He calls at the station mentioned by the messenger boy, only to find that her relief is on duty. The other operator, however, gives him the address of his benefactress and he seeks her there. When he is brought into her presence he finds himself face-to-face with his own wife, and they are reunited.
- Roy Wilson, an ungovernable youth of fast habits, owes considerable gambling-debt money to Graham Madison, an architect of doubtful morals. Roy's father is a competing architect and his sister Jessie is the sweetheart of Carew, Wilson's chief consulting engineer. In addition to his gambling debts, Roy forms an attachment for Madison's mistress Cleo, which involves him more deeply with Madison. Both Wilson and Madison prepare to submit bids for an important railway contract, and Madison, after getting Roy well in his power, compels him on pain of exposure to steal his father's bid. That night Carew asks for Jessie's hand and is refused by Wilson on the grounds of Jessie's extreme youth. When the loss of the plans is discovered Wilson promptly accuses Carew and discharges him. Meanwhile, Roy travels at a fast pace with Cleo, of whom Madison, having gained his end, has tired. When the fastidious lady fancies an expensive necklace Roy, after trying unsuccessfully to borrow the money to purchase the necklace, rifles the wall safe in his father's library. Unluckily, Carew calls at this moment for a clandestine meeting with Jessie to show her a letter he had just received from Madison in which the letter offers him a position. In leaving the house Carew fails to take with him the envelope bearing Madison's name, and this is left on a table where Wilson finds it on his way upstairs to the library. The shock of the robbery kills the frail, old man, who falls to the floor with the envelope clutched tightly in his hand. This, coupled with the word of the butler who had seen Carew leaving the house, weaves a strong chain of circumstantial guilt. Immediately after the theft Roy hurries to Cleo's apartments and offers her the spoils of his shame. She divines the truth and indignantly sends him home. He arrives in the parlor a moment after Carew, who has been quickly apprehended and brought back. The knowledge of his father's death proves too much and Roy breaks down, confessing the whole story. The following day the law lays a heavy hand on Madison, and Carew and Jessie look hopefully forward to a better day.
- Musty visits the seashore, and takes upon himself the duty of sweeping the tide back from the beach. Suddenly a golden head is thrust up through the water and Musty decides the owner of this crown of glory must be either a mermaid or Nanette Spellerman. It proves to be the former, and Musty starts a flirtation. This is interrupted by the appearance of a fairy tramp, who magically clothes Musty in a sailors costume and causes a wonderful vessel sort of a cross between a Chinese junk and a hybrid galleon one-lunged motorboat, to appear. Musty assumes command of the ship. He visits the various decks and finally the engine room, where he finds the motive power is furnished by the engineer, who operates a sewing machine to which a crankshaft is attached. Musty goes on to the hold and nearly sinks the ship by opening a trap in the bottom of the craft. The Merry Sunshine Society takes its annual outing aboard Captain Musty's craft. Musty lights a fire in the galley stove to prepare tea, and one of the Merry Sunshiners on deck covers up the funnel to keep from breathing the smoke. The fumes are driven back into the galley, but Musty solves the difficulty with his magic smoke consumer. When those on deck complain that the party is short one cup and saucer, Musty dives overboard, comes up through the bottom of the ship and appears on deck with the crockery while the astonished sun culters are still looking over the rail waiting for him to come up. A moment later he suddenly bursts through a hatchway, upsetting one of his passengers and precipitating him into the briny. In trying to rescue his victim, Musty himself goes overboard and a general mix-up follows. The Sunshiners decide they have enough of Musty's cruiser, and while our hero is being dried by a blow-torch in the hands of the engineer, hail a passing rowboat and are restored to terra firma. Undismayed, Musty decides to fish. He seats himself comfortably on deck and casts his line. Hardly has it touched the water when the bait is seized and swallowed, hook and all, by a tremendous goofus fish. The sea monster starts to run. Musty holds on and the ship is dragged out to sea at a terrific rate of speed. The astounded engineer puts the reverse action on his sewing machine without result, the dreadnought continues on its wild dash toward the coast of Africa. Finally the craft runs upon a rock and Musty is thrown into the water. The last we see of him he is still being dragged headlong through the water.
- The flirty proprietor of the Outside Inn catches his bellboy laughing at him and throws him into the street, just in time to be caught by Musty, who is passing by. When Musty learns that the bellboy has been discharged and that there is consequently a vacancy in the hotel organization, he drops him to the sidewalk, enters the inn and applies for the position. Proving himself the lightning bell-boy of the world, he is accepted. Musty soon learns that the grand stairway of the hotel is a trick staircase and that by pulling a lever the stairs will straighten out, converting the stairway into a chute. After descending the incline on his own account, he tries it out on various patrons with satisfactory results. The elevator, operated by hand power, sticks when a corpulent guest acts as cargo and a horse is commandeered to raise the lift. All goes well until a passing farmer inadvertently cuts the rope with his scythe. Then follows a vivid illustration of the descent of man. Musty plays many tricks on the proprietor and the guests, and enjoys waiting on the whims of an actress who stops at the hotel. He explains how the room is lightened by drawing a flame on the gas-jet painted on the wall, and darkened by erasing it. When the actress complains that there is no chair in her room, Musty obligingly paints one on the wall. After numerous amusing episodes, the reel ends in a general scramble, in which, of course Musty gets the worst of it.
- Musty holds down a job in Mole and Kittleton's dime museum. Musty seems to be the sole employee about the place, and whatever is called for by any of the patrons, he has to supply it. He is placed in charge of the cane rack, and of course, cheats so that the customers get no canes. One irascible old fellow complains to the manager, who upbraids Musty for his dishonesty. As soon as the customer leaves the manager congratulates himself on having so business-like an employee. While Musty is engaged in an innocent flirtation, a lad with a ten-foot arm approaches the rack and deliberately places rings over all the canes to which are attached the most handsome prizes. The boss is so incensed at Musty's carelessness that he forces him to stand up against the wall while he practices hatchet throwing, with Musty as the target. The idea of this pastime is to come as close to the target as possible without hitting, and the Boss's hatchet doesn't miss the target. The Arabian Knife Propeller appears on the scene and throws two dozen knives at Musty all at once. The blades stick in the wall so close to Musty as to form the outline of his anatomy against the background. Then Musty is called upon to operate the machine in the moving picture theater. He does so in a unique manner, having much trouble with the film, which insists upon unrolling, tying itself into knots, etc. Musty finds a way out which is satisfactory enough to him, but goes to sleep and the audience walks out after heaping their scorn upon the sleeper's head. Awakening, Musty feels the need of recreation and goes in for some more or less violent exercise with a punching bag. The results are not satisfactory, for in swinging at the bag, Musty collides with the boss, who has suddenly entered the room. His next occupation is "bally-hooing" to attract patrons to throw baseballs at the dodging figure. He gets along fairly well at this until a rough customer uses a brick instead of a ball, placing the poor Ethiopian hors de combat. When the boss complains that this is the fourth one he has lost in a single week and selects Musty to take his place, our hero faints.
- Musty goes for a day's fishing, but bites are scarce and he whiles away the time reading an exciting story entitled "The Bold, Bad Pirate." He goes to sleep sitting on the edge of a bridge and dreams of hidden treasure and dark deeds on the Spanish Main. He is awakened by a boat which passes under the bridge catching his feet and pulling him aboard the craft. The oarsman is highly indignant at Musty's unceremonious embarkation and lands him violently ashore. Musty is much impressed by his dream. He locates a spot which reminds him of the place where he buried a chest of gold in his dream and starts to dig for the hidden pieces of eight. He is interrupted by a cop, who arrests him. The cop calls the police patrol, a wheelbarrow affair, and Musty is trundled off to jail. Arraigned before the captain, he is given the third degree, but refuses to tell his secret. Finally, when confronted with a loaded cannon, Musty is alarmed by the sputtering of the fuse and tells his story. He is cast into a cell. Musty, like all model prisoners, awaits his opportunity to escape. He finds that his cot is very springy and by jumping on it succeeds in having himself hurled as if from a catapult through the roof. He makes himself a false mustache of grass and so passes the guard. He hurries to a costumer's for a disguise and after donning it hastens back to the place where he was digging in the street when arrested. No sooner has he started to dig when he is again arrested. He tries to get away, and cleverly induces his captors to get in the push patrol. Then he upsets it and runs, but collides with a telegraph pole, falls and is recaptured. In the station he breaks away from the cops again, hides by sitting on the captain's bench. He whacks the cops with the captain's gavel, placing them completely hors de combat, and once more is free. Musty goes back to the costumer's and rents a suit of armor, which he dons. No more is it upon his back, however, than his back begins to itch. What did King Arthur do in a case like this? We don't know, but the costumer found a way to relieve our hero. Musty then hurries back to his hole in the street, more determined than ever to find the hidden treasure. But, alas, that pestiferous copper is always on the job. Musty finds a way to get out of the armor without being seen and goes back to his digging. The copper, however, gets a great shock when the armor, in which he thinks Musty is still encased, suddenly comes to life and flees. After a long chase the officer regains possession of his cast steel captive and takes it to the station. Can openers, crowbars and other devices are employed to open the armor, but in vain. Finally one of the cops hits it with a sledge-hammer. It falls to pieces, revealing no one on the interior. Meanwhile Musty continues to dig. He breaks a water main and is caught in the deluge. This is the last straw and he gives up his treasure seeking in disgust.
- Musty Suffer, yearning earnestly for a quiet, easy and reposeful job, calls upon his faithful fairy to provide it for him. He is taken to an amusement arcade where he is hypnotized by one of the freaks in the show, provided with a gorgeous uniform in a jiffy and assigned to the job of ticket taker, chief janitor, boot black, "spieler," hat cleaner, target in a shooting gallery and superintendent of an escalator. In addition to these few duties Musty was assigned to run chores and entertain the freaks in the museum. Musty finds great pleasure in working the escalator leading to the moving picture theater but the "bouncing" of patrons who fail to go through the formality of buying tickets is one of his chief difficulties, but one which he overcomes promptly when he discovers the reverse action of the escalator. Musty also has several discouraging adventures with the wild man, the lion, the bearded lady, etc., which escape periodically from the museum or the menagerie, but meets each emergency in some ingenious way.
- Things happen fast in the appropriately named town of While-U-Wait. Food, dry-cleaning, even marriage, all in minutes. Be very careful what you order.
- Harry Tremaine, a clean-living youth of twenty-one, spends his leisure hours in perfecting an aeroplane motor which he has invented and which he hopes will eventually make his fortune. In his ambition to make his mark in the world, he is encouraged by his mother's old friend, Mrs. Holbrook, to whose daughter, Alice, Harry has been engaged almost since childhood. One night, when Harry is working late at the office in which he is employed as bookkeeper, a telegram arrives for the manager of the concern. Harry learns that the manager is dining at the Café de Paris and takes the message to him there. Thus Harry is first brought in contact with the gay night life of New York. There, too, he first sees Betty Belgrave, a cabaret entertainer, and her dancing partner, Wilbur Lorimer. It is not long afterward that Harry Tremaine receives word that his father, who for a number of years has been leading a hermit's life in the mining country out west, has suddenly died. Still later he learns that instead of using the money which he had thought he was contributing to his father's support, the hermit had saved all of it, and in addition left him a fortune of nearly $200,000. Harry's first thought is that there is no longer any bar to the marriage of himself and Alice, and the wedding day is set. Circumstances again bring Harry into the sphere of Betty Belgrave and her dancing partner, this time as a bashful, awkward youth, but as a young man about town who has plenty of money to spend. The woman has little trouble in conquering Harry. The consequence is that with her wedding day approaching, Alice finds herself more and more neglected by her fiancé. Day by day she sees him less frequently and day by day he becomes more thoroughly enmeshed in Betty's net of fascinations. Finally, on New Year's Eve, comes a complete break between the engaged couple as the result of Harry's escapades. Then, after a few short weeks of riotous living, during which he spends money like water to gratify Betty's whims, and buys thousands of dollars' worth of worthless stocks offered by Wilbur, Harry suddenly awakens to the fact that he is "broke." Naturally, he is deserted by his gay friends, first of all by Betty and Wilbur the parasites. Unable to obtain employment, he is soon reduced to desperate straits. One day Harry calls upon his father's lawyer who gives him a letter left by the hermit "to be delivered to my son when he shall have dissipated his fortune." The letter explains that the father has foreseen the follies of the son and has provided "a way out." Harry is instructed to make his way to the hermit's cabin in the western wilds, and told that there he will find a solution of his problem. After many weeks of weary search, Harry finds the cabin. He is startled to find that from the ceiling of the hut there dangles a hangman's noose. This, then, is "the way out" promised. The shock of this discovery makes the boy a man. He resolves to go back to New York, to fight it out, to show his father's grim old ghost that Harry Tremaine is a man. In New York he rescues a little girl from drowning. She proves to be the daughter of a millionaire and the grateful father helps Harry in the latter's effort to interest capital in his aeroplane motor. A company is formed to manufacture the device, and some time later Harry is in possession of another fortune, but this time it is a fortune which he has earned. Betty learns of his new opulence and again tries to ensnare him, this time without success. In his environment, Harry finds his thoughts by day and his nightly dreams haunted by visions of the noose, that grim bequest left by his prophetic-souled old father. Finally he determines to go to the hut and destroy the noose, to gloat over the memory of his cruel legacy now that he has proved his father's estimate of him wrong. Once he finds himself in the cabin he taunts the memory of his father and then, in a burst of anger, tears the noose from the ceiling of the hut. To his surprise a shower of golden coins pours from the ragged hole thus made in the plaster above his head. In a moment his father's plan is clear to him; when discouraged, he should have tried to take his own life, this second fortune would have come to him. Chastened in spirit, he returns to the city. Again in New York, he learns that Alice is seriously ill. He hurries to her side and they are reunited. The last scenes show us their home some time later. We see them drive happily through the park in their splendid limousine, while from a park bench, Betty, now a derelict, sadly looks after them as the picture fades.