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- Apparently, opposites do attract. Malcolm and Eddie are as different as one can imagine, but they're best friends who manage to be roommates as well as co-workers without killing each other.
- In the year 2020, an astronaut becomes a vigilante when he returns from a mission to learn his cop brother's been murdered.
- Though Nicolette is ready to accept, her boyfriend Lt. Stanley Proctor cannot bring himself to ask her to get married. Asked for their help, Malcolm and Eddie agree to speak with Stanley to boost his confidence. Yet, when he even has trouble with them, Malcolm and Eddie arrange for an attractive friend to convince Stanley that he's the most fascinating man in Kansas City. Still unaware that he was set up, Stanley gains renewed confidence in himself. However, instead of asking Nicolette to marry him, he decides that he's not ready to settle down just yet. And while Malcolm asks her to tell the truth about her interest in him, Cidnee admits it was all a ruse before claiming that she ended up finding Stanley attractive after all. When Nicolette asks for an opinion on what to wear when Stanley proposes, Eddie reveals that her boyfriend's newfound confidence has him wanting to date other women instead. In the wake of Nicolette's angry reaction, Malcolm and Eddie set out to change Stanley's mind. And to make Proctor jealous, Eddie poses as Nicolette's new suitor. However, while the ploy works in getting Stanley to propose, Nicolette surprises everyone when she refuses to accept.
- After a wild night leaves him with a strange woman's named tattooed on his arm, Malcolm needs to find some way to make it a little less obvious. Instead of having the tattoo altered, Tim offers to get Malcolm some expensive laser surgery for free, provided he go on a date with his sister Claudine. Despite his strict policy against blind dates, Malcolm agrees, but only if his friends can come along. And that's when he and everyone else gets a dose of Claudine's bad attitude. When no one can interest Claudine in anything fun, Eddie suggests that nobody could seduce her. Rising to the challenge, Malcolm insists that Claudine could never resist him once he puts his mind to it. And just as he thought, she quickly falls prey to his romantic moves. But when Tim accuses him of seducing his sister, he warns Malcolm against breaking her heart or risk keeping his tattoo forever. Hoping to get rid of Claudine without hurting her feelings, Malcolm seeks Eddie's advice. But pretending to be a chain smoker and inviting her on a hunting trip doesn't work. With nowhere else to turn, he then tries putting off Claudine by making Simone jealous. But Simone doesn't take the bait, Malcolm finds that the only way he can rid himself of Claudine is to appear to be a selfish opportunist.
- When Malcolm decides to redesign McGee's, he gets a carpenter to build an exact replica of the bar at Kansas City's legendary Jelly Roll Club. However, there's a problem when Eddie finds that the man hired to build the bar is Harvey Squires, his old nemesis from their days in the Navy together. After Eddie explains how Squires got him blamed for dealing in stolen government property, Nicolette announces that she's bringing the entire police force in for a retirement party. So in order to reopen in time, Malcolm has no choice but to keep Squires on the job. When pressed by Malcolm, Eddie agrees to stop complaining provided that Squires apologize. Told of the demand, Squires insists that it's Eddie who should apologize. Recalling their Navy days together, goes on to paints a completely different picture of Eddie, who he says got him wrongly accused of gambling in their barracks. And when Eddie refuses to apologize, Squires quits, jeopardizing Malcolm's chances to reopen for the party. So Eddie steps in and builds a new bar himself -- one he fashions out of old car parts. When the new bar fails to work, Malcolm sees that the only way to reopen is to settle the disagreement between Eddie and Squires. Asking Nicolette to bring in a lie detector, he discovers that both Eddie and Squires appear to be telling the truth. And that's when the two sworn enemies realize that the person responsible for them being jailed was their barracks-mate, Zelman McBride. However, when Squires heads off to get revenge on McBride, Malcolm is still left without the new bar after the carpenter decides to reopen the old Jelly Roll Club himself.
- A Thanksgiving trip to North Carolina results in a string of disasters as Malcolm suffers panic attacks as the state is beset by a hurricane.
- 1996–200022mTV-PG8.2 (10)TV EpisodeAlthough Malcolm is aware of his romance with Nicolette, Eddie is still intent on keeping it a secret. And even after discovering that everyone else knows, too, Eddie still isn't ready to be seen with her in public. So when Lieutenant Stanley Proctor asks her to be his date at a police department dance, Nicolette must give it serious consideration. Meanwhile, Malcolm's new cook Simone quickly makes it clear that she's interested in him. After giving Eddie a chance to reconsider, Nicolette agrees to be Stanley's date. As Eddie's protests to Nicolette go unheeded, Malcolm buys some questionable lobsters from neighborhood con man Free Willy. And when the caterer for the police department dance suddenly backs out, he arranges for Simone and the lobsters to fill in. Meanwhile, to keep an eye on Nicolette and her date, Eddie arranges to help Malcolm at the dance. After Eddie tries to cut in for a dance of his own, Nicolette is impressed, until she learns he has no intention of changing his secretive approach to their relationship. While Malcolm sees Simone taking her affection towards him just a little too seriously, Eddie tries to divert Lt. Proctor's attention away from Nicolette by announcing that the lobster being served at the dance was stolen. As the Lieutenant prepares to escort Malcolm to jail for questioning, Eddie makes his move on Nicolette. But the plan backfires when Nicolette still demands a commitment. Finally, after seeing Simone waiting for him outside, Malcolm reconsiders being let out of jail.
- With things going well at the club, the staff asks to share in the good fortune and Eddie agrees to approach Malcolm on their behalf. While Malcolm agrees to a small raise, he refuses any health benefits, paid vacations or profit sharing. As a result, Nicolette leads the employees out on strike. When left to run the club on their own, it doesn't take long for Malcolm and Eddie to realize that, without an end to the strike, they'll need to hire a new staff. In an effort to help out, Eddie's visually challenged cousin applies for a job. But it's only after he's hired that Malcolm learns about Dexter's recent stay in a mental institution. After an accident breaks the eyeglasses he needs to look normal, Dexter's patience is tested by a customer's cruel taunts. Although Malcolm tries to keep things under control, a fight quickly erupts. And after the strikers wade into the middle of the brawl to help out, Malcolm offers their jobs back after Nicolette negotiates an acceptable raise.
- After preparing a romantic dinner for two, Malcolm is disappointed when an urgent business meeting takes Ashley out of town at the last minute. Although he remains committed to Ashley, Malcolm cannot resist when Olivia, a singer in the club's new band, expresses an interest in him. However, after overhearing Olivia talking with a friend, Eddie discovers that she's being paid by T.R. Hawkins to come between his daughter, Ashley, and Malcolm. Meanwhile, Eddie's latest admirer is their voyeuristic neighbor, Tonya. On the news that he bought Olivia a new car in exchange for her cooperation, Eddie confronts Hawkins. And even though Hawkins tries to bribe him into cooperating, too, Eddie refuses and tells Malcolm the truth. But when Malcolm asks her about the plan, Olivia admits to having some feelings for him and begs for another chance. Upon returning from her business trip, Ashley insists that her father bring her straight to the club to see Malcolm. Seizing the moment, Malcolm takes the stage to recite a poem in which he proposes marriage. Though Ashley defies her father and agrees to marry Malcolm, she's upset after seeing Olivia give him a kiss. As a result, Malcolm must choose between two women who both say they are in love with him. Finally Eddie is stunned when he gets a look at Peeping Tonya.
- Prior to the wedding of their friend Nelson Carter, Malcolm and Eddie take responsibility for organizing a bachelor party. Upon learning that Eddie has asked a friend of Simone's to be his date at the wedding, Malcolm worries that her arrival will upset their bachelor party plans. However, Eddie assures him that he's arranged for everything to go off without a hitch. Meanwhile, Nicolette goes undercover as an elderly woman in order to nab a purse snatcher. As Tim anxiously awaits the arrival of the stripper they've hired for the bachelor party, Eddie's plans are upset when Antoinette arrives early. Once super-stripper Tiffany the Tigress finally does arrive, Eddie is persuaded to join Simone and Antoinette for dessert instead. And when challenged by Simone, Malcolm agrees to join them, too. Meanwhile, as Eddie works to keep his interest in Tiffany a secret from Antoinette, Malcolm is upset over being intimidated into missing the stripper's performance. Still, he can't keep from having romantic thoughts about Simone. Blaming their sudden change of heart on Nelson getting married, Malcolm and Eddie resolve to stand fast in the face of their women. Yet, after Eddie tries to impress her with his interest in opera, Simone sees through the ruse as Antoinette longs to have the old scheming Eddie back. And while Simone is certain he chose to miss out on the bachelor party because of her, Malcolm struggles to convince her -- and himself -- otherwise. Finally, after Tim shells out $600 for a chance to marry Tiffany for a half-hour, Nicolette's undercover assignment makes her a reluctant hero.
- It's only after Eddie moves back in that Malcolm discovers his former partner frivolously spent all the money he made from their sale of their old building. While Eddie has plenty of toys to occupy their time, he and Malcolm are $20,000 short of what they need to open their jazz club. At the office of T.R. Hawkins, the man who bought their building, Malcolm and Eddie learn he now wants much more for it than what he paid them. And while Eddie promises to provide the inspiration, he relies on Malcolm to come up with a plan to launch their new venture. At the oxygen bar that occupies the former McGee's, business isn't booming. Hoping to take advantage of the current tenant's woes, they offer to rent the building from Hawkins instead. However, when he wants much more than what the oxygen bar is paying, the boys are back to square one. At the bar, Malcolm and Eddie try to get its owner, Leonard Rickets, to admit his business is a failure and throw in the towel. However, without the bar, Leonard not only doesn't have a job, but he doesn't have a place to live either. So, when Malcolm and Eddie agree to sublet the bar and give Leonard a job, all for far less money than Hawkins wanted, they beat the owner at his own game and set out to open the Fifty-Fifty Club.
- On instructions from his boss, Mr. O, Spencer Campbell offers Malcolm and Eddie protection from anything untoward happening to the Fifty-Fifty Club. Realizing that it's a shakedown, the two partners beef up their own security after sending Spencer away. Bringing along another business owner who suffered losses from an unexplained fire after refusing a similar deal, Mr. O gives the boys a chance to reconsider. But, after turning down him down again, Malcolm and Eddie are forced to conduct their own round-the-clock surveillance of the club. In need of some sleep, Malcolm and Eddie let Leonard and Doug watch the club for one night. Yet, the following morning, they find that Mr. O's goons trashed the place after tying up Leonard and Doug. With their business a shambles, Malcolm and Eddie turn to the Kansas City Police Department for help. And even though everyone knows that Mr. O and his gang are responsible, the detectives assigned to the case can do nothing without proof. So, to see that justice is done, Eddie and Malcolm go undercover to catch Mr. O red-handed. At the barbershop that serves as Mr. O's headquarters, Malcolm and Eddie arrive disguised as a pair of police detectives. In an effort to get even, they try to shake him down for a piece of his racket. But after the mobster exposes their ruse, he sets out to make an example of the boys. However, before Mr. O can do any damage, the detective who has the operation under surveillance bursts in. And while Mr. O is certain that they have nothing on him, Malcolm proves otherwise with a confession he secretly recorded.
- After beating Eddie at basketball and winning a pair of valuable concert tickets, Malcolm is sure that his luck has taken a turn for the better. And he couldn't be more convinced of his good fortune than when Adrian Collins, a very beautiful, very wealthy and very single woman drops by the bar. Stretching the truth about himself, Malcolm quickly snags a date for the concert with Adrian. However, while Malcolm is on a roll, Eddie's luck has turned sour. Meanwhile, as Nicolette learns she's passed the first test on the road to becoming a police officer, Malcolm must deal with his headstrong new bartender, Jason. As things continue getting better with Adrian, Malcolm is under pressure to keep building himself up as a wealthy, Princeton-educated businessman. Yet, even after Eddie's antics force him to tell the truth, Malcolm is surprised to find Adrian impressed with his honesty and more anxious than ever to carry on their relationship. But his own run of bad luck prompts Eddie to get back at his best friend by telling Malcolm that he has slept with Adrian, too. Stunned by the news, Malcolm suddenly finds Adrian much less appealing. When it doesn't take long for Adrian to learn of Eddie's claim, she insists she would never do such a thing, especially with him. As a result, Malcolm jumps to his best friend's defense. And after vowing to never let another woman come between them again, Eddie luck changes for the better just as Malcolm's takes a turn for the worse.
- When Stephanie Clark brings her car for in repairs, Eddie decides to try and get a date. With encouragement from Malcolm, he heads down to her office at the Little Buddies Association. But, instead of coming away with a date, Eddie falls prey to Stephanie's charms and agrees to be a Big Buddy to ten-year-old Troy. Meanwhile, Bridget decides to use Kelly's as a location for her next TV show. Upon bringing him back to where he lives and works, Eddie prepares to show Troy a good time. And when Stephanie stops by to check on things, he convinces her to consider a date, even as Nicolette does her best to stop it. However, after a four-hour lunch with Stephanie causes Eddie and Malcolm to argue, Troy is convinced that he's not wanted around anymore. So he plots his revenge by agreeing to distribute some flyers to help Malcolm draw a big crowd for Bridget's show. While Eddie is planning on using the evening at Kelly's to woo Stephanie, Malcolm is surprised to discover that Troy passed out flyers advertising a square dance along with the televised prize fight he was planning. So, with Kelly's full of anxious fight fans, the square dancers arrive, too. And once Stephanie decides to take Troy home, Eddie and Malcolm are left to try and keep the dancers happy. Finally, after Eddie admits that he just isn't Big Buddy material, Stephanie decides it would be better to just be friends.
- When Malcolm's older brother drops in unexpectedly, Nicolette makes it clear that she's more than a little interested in him. As the competitiveness that has always existed between the McGee brothers bubbles to the surface, Nicolette is disappointed to learn Trey is married. And when she suggests they come to the bowling alley where she's about to start working, Malcolm asks Leonard to come along and keep the competition from ruining the evening. At the bowling alley, Leonard quickly sees that keeping Malcolm and Trey from fighting is a lot of work. Despite his efforts, the two brothers are soon arguing over everything from technique to keeping score. Meanwhile, Nicolette doesn't appreciate how her customers are treating her. And following a run in with the boss's wife, she quits. After a disagreement over the score, Malcolm starts to walk away until an insult hurled by Trey brings him running back. After breaking up their fight, Leonard insists that Trey apologize. Left to settle their differences alone, Malcolm reveals how disappointed he was that Trey left home following their parent's divorce. Confessing to have always regretted leaving like he did, Trey then admits how proud he is of Malcolm. And after Trey announces that he's about to become a father, he and Malcolm finally make amends.
- As Malcolm mourns the death of his beloved Uncle Buddy, Eddie races to find a substitute for Buddy's ashes, which were accidentally poured down a sink
- As Eddie mulls an offer to join a rival nightclub, he inspires aspiring author Nicolette (Karen Malina White) to pen a story set in the Roaring '20s.
- When Malcolm's old car finally gives out, Nicolette suggests buying a new one at an upcoming police auction. To make sure he gets a good deal, Eddie offers to go along. But when Malcolm sets his sights on a 1961 Corvette Stingray, Eddie is called on for more than mechanical expertise when his partner needs a loan to buy the classic car. As he's cleaning up on Malcolm's new car, Eddie unexpectedly finds $22,000 hidden inside. While Eddie feels entitled to keep the cash for himself, Malcolm warns that it could have criminal origins and calls Nicolette for advice. And though happy that the previous owner has been sent away for a long stay in prison, he and Eddie worry upon learning that the convicted criminal's brother is still on the loose. When the man he outbid for the car at the auction comes looking for him, Malcolm is sure that it's the owner's brother looking for the cash. Although Malcolm soon discovers that Anthony is just a classic car buff wanting to buy the car, Eddie assumes he's a killer and offers to make a deal to forget about the car -- especially since he's already spent the money he found. When the jailed owner's brother finally does arrive and Eddie realizes his mistake, he offers him all the merchandise he bought with the missing money. And when Gino is only interested in the cash, Eddie gets out of the jam with a call to an organized crime boss who owes him a favor.
- If his food, drink and music weren't bad enough, fellow bar owner and competitor Mike McGinley has resorted to dirty tricks in order to steal business away from Malcolm. Searching for an idea to turn things around, Eddie suggests turning McGee's into a casino. Only they must first divert the Missouri River, which is 40 blocks away, in order to put McGee's on the river front and qualify it for a gaming license. With help from Hector and their position downhill from the river, Eddie makes sure that the Missouri River just touches McGee's. And once Malcolm bribes their supplier, he has the gambling equipment needed to be approved for a license to open a casino. As a result, McGee's is once again a flourishing -- at McGinley's expense. However, when McGinley arrives with hidden cards and loaded dice, his ill-gotten winnings threaten to ruin Malcolm's business once again. With help from Eddie and his bartender Jason, Malcolm decides to out-cheat the greedy McGinley. But when the cheating spirals beyond his control, Malcolm loses the bar to his rival. Yet, when a gaming commission agent points out the bar's small river channel has run dry and he's in violation of the law, McGinley insists he doesn't really own the bar after all -- unaware that it was all a hoax designed by Jason to keep Malcolm from losing his business. Finally, when their river access really does evaporate, Malcolm finds himself the owner of just a plain old bar and grill once again.
- When his girlfriend Lydia asks him to dinner with her wealthy father at their exclusive country club, Malcolm is reluctant to go since Saturday is the busiest night of the week at the bar. However, after nervously agreeing to let Eddie run the bar for just one night, Malcolm prepares to pitch his latest business idea to Mr. Larson. Meanwhile, convinced that working opposite shifts is the recipe their success as roommates, Nicolette and Chloe join with Eddie to host a Jamaican Island Night at the bar. Following a difficult encounter with the country club's maitre, Malcolm fills Mr. Larson in on his plans to franchise the bar. However, the entertainment Chloe lined up turns out to be exotic dancers from the bar where she works nights. And when the sheriff sends someone to close them down, Eddie hurries to find Malcolm at the country club. Meanwhile, as Mr. Larson suggests they drop Lydia at home before heading to examine the bar, Eddie tries bribery to keep it open. While Malcolm is stunned to see what's going on at the bar, Mr. Larson decides it isn't the kind of place he can invest in. However, his moral high ground is undermined when Chloe recognizes him as one of her best customers. And when a newspaper reporter is about to take a picture that would ruin his standing in the community, Malcolm and Eddie intervene. Finally, after convincing Lydia that the dancers were Eddie's idea, Malcolm gets Mr. Larson to agree to relax Lydia's curfew in exchange for silence about his extracurricular activities.
- Malcolm and Eddie launch an ambitious campaign to compete with a hot new club.
- With plans to expand their business, Malcolm and Eddie go to see Troy Jensen, a contractor who's bid on the construction of a new Fifty-Fifty Club in Chicago. With his wife called into work at the hospital where she's a nurse, Troy is left to care for their three children -- seven-year-old Rome, ten-year-old Cairo and twelve-year-old Geneva. And while Troy's brothers warn against doing business with them, Malcolm and Eddie watch Rome get his head stuck in the staircase banister posts while pretending to be a superhero, as Geneva arrives home with a disastrous haircut courtesy of a friend. After ordering Cairo to walk their family dog, Bill goes to comfort the distraught Geneva. As Troy convinces his daughter to embrace her new look regardless of how hideous it may seem, Malcolm and Eddie help Rome extricate himself from the staircase. Meanwhile, after giving the dog away to some loving neighbors, Cairo has a change of heart when his dad suggests that the family might be better off if he were in military school. While happy with the work Troy has proposed, Malcolm and Eddie try to get him to cut the price. But Troy refuses to budge and even persuades them that he's worth the extra expense. Finally, after leaving the Jensen family in Chicago, Malcolm and Eddie return to Kansas City where they left their club in the hands of a loyal, though not always capable, staff.
- As Eddie is breaking in a new assistant, Malcolm worries about a wave of recent health department inspections. To make sure Kelly's passes, he cracks down on his staff and demands the utmost in cleanliness and courtesy. However, Malcolm's patience is tested when a difficult customer pretends to slip and fall. And after learning that Milton is suing them for $3 million, Malcolm and Eddie set out to prove he's a fake. Hoping to take over bar to settle his lawsuit, Milton arrives to inspect the premises. But after Malcolm unthinkingly threatens to kill him if he doesn't leave, Milton has a heart attack and dies in the kitchen, just as the health inspector arrives. Sending Nicolette to stall Mr. Bosco, Malcolm and Eddie remove the body to the garage. However, when Hector mistakes him for a drunk and returns him to the bar, they are forced to cover as Bosco carries on a conversation with Milton's corpse, unaware that he's dead. As he's being interviewed by the police, Malcolm learns that his threat has made him a suspect in Milton's death. And Eddie's attempt to get his partner off the hook by offering to hold a funeral only make things worse. So, once Bosco arrives at the memorial service, Malcolm and Eddie are forced to continue their ruse. But, even after the autopsy results finally get him off the hook with the police, Malcolm is still fined for having a corpse in the restaurant.
- The guys hire a decorator to redo their apartment after their furniture is stolen, unaware the woman has designs on their insurance money.
- While watching "The Jerry Stein Show" on television, Malcolm and Eddie learn of the all expense paid trip to the Super Bowl being offered to whoever can convince his audience that they are the world's biggest football fans. Certain that their devotion to the Kansas City Chiefs will guarantee a win, Eddie asks Malcolm to try out. And while Malcolm worries about being humiliated by Stein's tough audience, the value of the tickets persuades him to go along with the plan. Through a cousin who works on Stein's show, Leonard gets Malcolm and Eddie a chance to appear and vie for the Super Bowl tickets. But when his cousin sees them take the stage, he tells Leonard that they've shown up at the wrong time. As a result, instead of being interviewed as football fanatics, Malcolm and Eddie are mistakenly identified as devil worshippers. After they are introduced to the unruly and hostile audience, Malcolm and Eddie's lifelong obsession with the Chiefs is misconstrued as a fanatic devotion to Satan. In an effort to remedy the misunderstanding, they take on the show's other guests, much to the delight of Stein and the crowd. And because their brawl with the Satan worshippers was such a hit, Stein encourages them to stay for the show they originally came for.
- As he's honing his skills at the pool table with a game against Eddie, Malcolm is surprised when his old college friend and rival Preston Alexander arrives at Kelly's. Now a millionaire and one of the nation's most eligible bachelors, Preston is interested in avenging a loss at pool to Malcolm four years ago. When he suggests a $5,000 wager, Malcolm hesitates until Eddie offers to back him up with the cash. However, when Preston displays his amazing new skills at the table before leaving, Malcolm realizes he's been hustled. After learning that Eddie really doesn't have the money cover the bet, Malcolm is in real trouble. To help him out, Eddie offers the services of his Uncle Bucky, who suggests something unusual to take his mind off the game. And though Malcolm is skeptical, he finds that wearing women's underwear really works. To get Malcolm ready for his match, Eddie arranges for a massage from Tim. But Tim spills his oil and causes Malcolm to accidentally destroy the lucky underwear while trying to dry them in a microwave oven. As Malcolm's confidence in his game plummets, Eddie searches the bar for a replacement. But Uncle Bucky insists that their effect was all in Malcolm's head and he can play just as well without them. So, recalling his victory four years earlier, Malcolm finally finds the inspiration he needs to take Preston for $5,000 on the last shot of the game.
- For Malcom's 30th birthday, Eddie devises a plan to fulfill Malcom's lifelong dream of commentating for a professional sporting event.
- After impressing the lovely and interested Tracy Burke, Malcolm finds himself three weeks into what is shaping up to be a serious relationship. As Malcolm is certain that he's found the woman of his dreams, Eddie is besieged by obscene phone calls from an admirer. And once Eddie starts dating her, he's also found the perfect mate, unaware that it's Tracy. Only after their respective infatuations causes them to lose interest in other women do Malcolm and Eddie realize there's a problem. Comparing notes, they discover that, while their girlfriends are quite different, the are both the same woman. However, upon finding Tracy at her apartment, Malcolm and Eddie's protests are cut short when another boyfriend arrives for a romantic evening. Embarrassed at being beaten at their own game, Malcolm and Eddie return to the club to lick their wounds. As a result, each of them pledges to take a break from dating in order to heal. But it doesn't take long for the guys to get back into the swing of things.
- In preparation for the upcoming Kansas City 500, Eddie is helping his old friend and champion stock car racer Rusty Shaeffer get ready. With Eddie in his corner, Rusty is certain he can beat rival Trevor Davis and take home his first ever national championship. And impressed with Eddie and Rusty's confidence, Malcolm then asks Tim to hook him up with a bookmaker so he can place a $100 bet on the race. Meanwhile, a strange dream about Eddie driving a race car has Nicolette convinced that it's a premonition of bad things to come. When a case of double vision forces Rusty to look for another driver, Eddie claims it would fulfill a lifelong dream and persuades his friend to give him a try. To show his faith in his partner, Malcolm decides to let his $100 bet on Rusty's team stand. Yet, despite Eddie's fast qualifying time, Nicolette warns him that all the things she saw in her dream are falling into place. But as Eddie tries to reassure Nicolette while he's fielding Trevor's merciless taunts, Malcolm learns that a misunderstanding has resulted in him betting $5,000 on Eddie's car. With Eddie in third place, Nicolette turns to Rusty with another warning about the race. And when she uses a pit stop to make her case one more time, even Eddie begins to wonder if Nicolette's premonition might just be right. However, as Malcolm makes a futile attempt to get out of his bet, Eddie heads back onto the track where he finally manages to hold on and win the race -- much to the relief of Nicolette and Malcolm.
- With his tow truck Broncula in the shop, Eddie needs another $600 to get it back on the road. Unable to loan him the cash, Malcolm suggests he find another job. So, to get the money he needs to fix his truck, Eddie begs Kelly to let him work at the restaurant. Meanwhile, excited over an invitation to join his boss at a big charity dinner, Malcolm asks Holly to be his date. When things go badly at the restaurant, Eddie finds a job delivering pizzas. But there's just one catch -- he needs to borrow Malcolm's car. Fresh on the heels of rejection by Holly, Malcolm insists he needs the car to attend the dinner as he asks Rhonda to join him. But, after Eddie interrupts with a demonstration of the vacuum cleaner he's going to sell, and then uses the apartment to teach aerobics to overweight woman, Malcolm decides to let him use the car...but only after Eddie promises to have it back for his date. Claiming he was chased by dogs, Eddie returns home late, stranding Malcolm and Rhonda. While Malcolm is left without a way to dinner or a date, Eddie has no time to listen because of the celebrity wake-up calls he's been hired to make. Realizing that getting Broncula back is the only way to get Eddie back to work, Malcolm agrees to let him use the radio station's phones to make his calls. And while pitching in to help his roommate, Malcolm is grateful when Eddie deftly covers for his absence at the big dinner and puts him back in his boss's good graces.
- After Nicolette uses her influence to get him a job repairing some parking enforcement scooters, Eddie puts together a 70's band for a theme night party at McGee's. However, before the band can take the stage, Malcolm must intervene to keep Nicolette and Eddie's new girlfriend Danielle from fighting. Meanwhile, as Tim and Denise carry out their own unique courtship at the bar, Holly reveals that she's been offered a better job at a rival establishment. Following their success at McGee's, things for Eddie's band really take off. But, as he's trying to capitalize on his newfound popularity, he avoids getting started on the scooters. Despite Malcolm's warning, Eddie assures him that he has it covered. However, when he isn't around when the scooters are supposed to be picked up, Malcolm masquerades as Eddie to buy some time and keep him from losing the contract. Meanwhile, as Tim and Denise's romance progresses, Malcolm decides there's no choice but to force Eddie to quit the band. To make Eddie see that his new musical venture is jeopardizing the garage, Malcolm assembles his friends to help. Before getting started, he first convinces Holly to stay at McGee's with a better job offer. Then, upon Eddie's arrival, he's made to see just how much his obsession with the band is costing. And while Nicolette is willing to let him continue pursuing a musical career, Eddie is convinced to give up the band altogether. Finally, after completing his work on the scooters just in the nick of time, an overworked Eddie falls fast asleep.
- A visit to Las Vegas leaves gambling Eddie $50,000 in the red, a jam only Malcolm can get him out of by sleeping with a rich benefactor (Chaka Khan).
- When she arrives at the bar for the first time, Malcolm is smitten with Ashley's beauty and charm -- until he discovers she's the daughter of his landlord, T.R. Hawkins. Despite the potential for problems, Ashley invites Malcolm to join her at a cocktail party -- an idea that T.R. immediately tries to squelch. However, when Ashley refuses to rescind the invitation, Hawkins warns Malcolm to behave himself when he's out with his daughter. Falling in love with Ashley does wonders for Malcolm's disposition. And though Malcolm could not be happier, his landlord isn't. In an effort to stem the romance, Hawkins offers the tight-fisted Malcolm a very generous lease renewal on the condition that he never sees Ashley again. And to insure that Malcolm knows he's serious, Hawkins threatens to throw him out if he doesn't accept. While Nicolette encourages Malcolm to follow his heart and not let Hawkins dictate such harsh terms, Leonard recommends accepting the new lease and finding another girlfriend. Hoping to distract his daughter away from Malcolm, Hawkins gives her an expensive new car as a present for passing the bar exam. But when Ashley invites him out for a ride, Malcolm must reveal that her dad is coercing him. Ignoring the potential financial fallout, he agrees to join Ashley in defiance of her father. Finally, after Ashley offers to represent Malcolm in court, Hawkins has no choice but to back down.
- While Malcolm wants to use his grocery store parking lot after hours, Mr. Gordon makes clear that he has no intention of attracting any more unsavory customers. Upon seeing someone causing a scene at the bar, Mr. Gordon notes that he's just the type who have been causing him trouble, too. And when Eddie steps in pretending to be a martial arts expert, he's challenged to fight at a local kung fu studio. Meanwhile, Nicolette claims to have found the perfect roommate in Holly. To prepare for his match against Rudy, Eddie calls on Man Li, a teacher of kung fu. While Eddie is asked to first find inner peace before resorting to violence, Malcolm is sure it's a prescription for disaster in his match. Then, as Malcolm decides to bribe Mr. Gordon with an autographed baseball bat, Rudy gets even madder when Eddie refuses to fight. Meanwhile, it doesn't take long for Nicolette to tire of Holly's neatness, and for Holly to grow weary of her roommate's non-stop talking. As she is nursing Eddie's damaged ribs, things between Nicolette and Holly finally boil over. And while Malcolm tries to mediate, his agreeableness only gets him into trouble with the two women. Meanwhile, as Eddie and Malcolm head to give Mr. Gordon the bat, Rudy arrives looking for a fight. And though trying to keep his cool, Eddie unloads and, after considerable damage to the market, takes Rudy out. Finally, after agreeing to pay for the damage and throw in an autographed baseball, too, Malcolm convinces Mr. Gordon to let him use the lot.
- Ashley catches Malcolm kissing Olivia; Eddie takes Malcolm on a high-flying adventure.
- When Malcolm asks him to step in and coach his youth basketball team while he's away, Eddie complains about the team's losing record and turns him down. However, when Nicolette stops by to make arrangements for a party at McGee's, Lt. Stanley Proctor mentions that it's for his team to celebrate their certain victory over team Malcolm's Li'l Dribblers. So a jealous Eddie offers to substitute for Malcolm in order to beat Proctor, only to learn that he's just needed for the game before. Meanwhile, Malcolm and rival Mick McGinley agree to save money by purchasing their restaurant supplies together. When McGinley complains that his son hasn't been getting enough playing time, Malcolm makes it clear that Mickey Jr. is better suited to sitting on the bench. As a result of the slight, McGinley leaves Malcolm stranded in the middle of nowhere. Meanwhile, when Eddie's maneuvering causes a forfeit that is the Li'l Dribblers first win, the team wants him to coach them against Proctor's Termites. After giving them lessons in foul play, Eddie then hopes for some favoritism by asking Malcolm to referee. And while Malcolm agrees, it's only to set an example of good sportsmanship for the boys. When Eddie tries to sneak an older player into the game, both Proctor and Nicolette see through his devious tactics. And once McGinley arrives to complain, Malcolm agrees Mickey Jr. should play, even though he doesn't want to. However, bad sportsmanship derails the game before it can get started as Eddie challenges Proctor to game of their own. And while Eddie manages to pull out a victory, Nicolette isn't impressed and leaves as Mickey Jr. enlists Malcolm and Eddie to intervene with his dad.
- Nicolette accidentally spills scalding coffee on Eddie's down-and-out cousin Dexter.
- At her surprise 30th birthday party, Nicolette reacts badly and bolts from the club. Coming back later to apologize, she confesses to feeling unfulfilled by turning 30 childless. To make sure another unsatisfying birthday doesn't come and go, Nicolette announces that she's going to be artificially inseminated. And for moral support, she asks Malcolm to join her at the sperm bank. After a humorless interview with her insemination counselor, Nicolette has second thoughts about using an anonymous donor. As a result, she asks Malcolm to be the father of her child, and to do it without using artificial insemination. And while he's flattered to be asked, Malcolm wants to think about it first. Once he's had a chance to mull it over, Malcolm agrees to help Nicolette out. During their first attempt at conception, both parties are nervous. However, once they have a chance to discuss the details, they find that there's little they agree upon when it comes to raising a child. As a result, Malcolm and Nicolette both agree to wait.
- As Nicolette prepares for her police department exam, Malcolm learns that his restaurant is about to be reviewed by an influential food critic. But as Malcolm prepares for the visit, a customer's complaint suggests that something is wrong in the kitchen. That's when Simone admits she's flustered by the upcoming prospective of Antoinette, a Culinary Institute classmate and rival who stole her boyfriend five years ago. And while Malcolm wants to get rid of her before there's any more damage in the kitchen, Eddie is determined to get a date with Antoinette. When Antoinette says she's engaged to her former boyfriend Frederic, Simone cannot resist claiming that she and Malcolm have been happily married for almost a year. Although Malcolm agrees to play along in order to salvage his chance at a good review, the idea of being married soon begins to wear on him. And when Eddie offers Antoinette their couch for the night, Malcolm must sleep with Simone in order to keep up appearances. Meanwhile, Nicolette panics when she forgets everything she's learned for the police exam. Forced to spend the night together, Malcolm and Simone find that they do have something in common. Yet, when they are suspected of being more than just friends, Eddie denies having done anything improper with Antoinette, who admits that her engagement to Frederic was a lie concocted to make Simone jealous. Then, despite Simone's refusal to reveal the truth about her and Malcolm, she and Antoinette make amends. And after Nicolette gets a little to zealous on the exam, Malcolm is delighted by a great review.
- A rumor that the local football team is moving to Los Angeles has Eddie upset. But not as much as Tom, another obsessed fan who threatening to bomb the stadium during a Chiefs game. And when the police pursuit of the mad bomber leads to the bar, Malcolm and Eddie find themselves and their patrons being held hostage. Meanwhile, Malcolm's chance to use television coverage of the bomber to advertise the bar's new name is jeopardized when the signs he ordered arrive misspelled. With the police stationed outside, Nicolette is determined to save Eddie. So, as Bridget works to get an exclusive for her TV station, Nicolette sneaks into the bar's air vent in order to make her way inside. Although Malcolm is worried, Eddie and Tom find common ground in their mutual love for the Chiefs. And when Bridget arrives with her crew, the viewers see them relaxing over beers and cigars while enjoying the game on TV. Once Tom claims they are partners in his protest, Malcolm joins with Eddie in publicizing his demands, only to find that the police are in no mood to negotiate. Yet, once the team denies any rumors about the move, Tom declares victory and then accidentally triggers the bomb's timing device before trying to slip out unnoticed. However, Tom fails to fool the police and is arrested as Malcolm and Eddie rush outside with the bomb just in time to keep their place from blowing up. Finally, with the bar packed with customers following the drama, Nicolette appears from the ceiling and takes Eddie hostage once again.
- With Eddie's towing business really taking off, Malcolm suggests he try radio ads to capitalize on the success. In fact, things are going so well that he is approached by local tow truck legend, Tow Tom, about merging with his fleet. However, after Eddie claims he'd rather continue working for himself, a series of unfortunate incidents suggest that Tow Tom is trying to drive him out of business. Following Malcolm's advice, Eddie prepares for a radio campaign that he hopes will revive his suddenly flagging business. But his plans are dashed when Tow Tom both steals his idea to sponsor the morning radio show and has his driver's license revoked. The loss of his customers, insurance and license to Tow Tom has Eddie depressed. To help him get back on his feet, Malcolm suggests that he accept Tow Tom's offer of a job, if only to get an inside look at a successful towing business. Seeing his roommate taken advantage of by the ruthless tow truck magnate angers Malcolm, who decides to help Eddie get even. So, when Tow Tom enlists him to help with a new commercial, Malcolm seizes the chance to sabotage the ad. When it's about to be aired, Eddie has Tow Tom just where he wants him. And, in exchange for Eddie getting his business back, Malcolm agrees to destroy the tape so the ad never sees the light of day. Finally, with his business restored, Eddie can't resist playing one last prank on Tow Tom.
- When her parents come to visit, Holly asks Malcolm to pose as the successful boyfriend she's told them about. While courting a woman he's met in a computer on-line chat room, Eddie prepares for disappointment by sending her a picture of Malcolm. So, hoping to keep himself out of Eddie's deception, Malcolm agrees to Holly's plan... until Katrina the computer date turns out to be gorgeous and gives him second thoughts about leaving her to Eddie. Meanwhile, Nicolette's new roommate falls in love with Tim. As Malcolm tries to live up to the Brooks's high expectations, Holly's plan is set beck when one of his girlfriends arrives determined to spend some time alone. Assuring Mr. And Mrs. Brooks that he'll be right back, Malcolm heads upstairs with Dana. But when her parents don't seem to be buying into the ruse, Holly insists that Malcolm give her a sensuous and very public kiss. Meanwhile, after discovering that Katrina is a photographer for a racy women's magazine, Eddie agrees to pose for an upcoming issue. Following the kiss, Malcolm begins to have serious questions about going back to Dana. And when Eddie's posing gets her excited, Katrina decides that it's time for her to find Malcolm. When Dana won't take no for an answer, and Holly and her parents come looking for them, Malcolm has a lot of explaining to do. Then, after Eddie admits to being the one who has been courting her in the chat room, Katrina reveals her own dangerous and vindictive streak. Finally, as Dana bails out and Nicolette steps in to protect Eddie from Katrina's revenge, Malcolm finds that Holly is no more interested in him than before.
- A harrowing experience on an airplane flight back from a big car show that's left Eddie feeling full of life has Malcolm depressed. To help lift his flagging spirits, Simone offers him a tape of spiritual guru, Dr. Mira Shakra. As a result, Malcolm suspects his destiny lies somewhere beyond McGee's. And when Mira coincidentally shows up at the bar during her lecture tour, he's ready to change his life. Meanwhile, Eddie gets lucrative a job offer in Pittsburgh. As a result of Malcolm's meeting Mira and Eddie's new job, they call their friends together to announce they've decided to sell their business. Though no one takes them seriously at first, Mira suddenly returns to Kansas City during the middle of her tour and makes it clear that she wants something different in her life, too. Meanwhile, as they prepare to move, Malcolm and Eddie are reminded of their good times together. As Malcolm and Eddie are getting ready to say good-bye, Mira arrives at the bar with some disturbing news. Even though Malcolm has sold everything in order to start a new life together, she in love with someone else. And while not telling Eddie, he ponders what to do next.
- 1996–200022mTV-PG8.5 (11)TV EpisodeIn order to keep Simone from going to work for a competitor, Malcolm agrees to re-do McGee's menu. Upon discovering that translating it into to French allows him to raise the prices and his profits, Malcolm couldn't be happier. So when Simone bakes some extraordinary cookies that have exactly the same effect as sex, Malcolm and Eddie propose selling them. However, before she'll agree to participate, Simone wants a romantic partnership, something that Malcolm is simply unwilling to do. After learning that Eddie has already sold shares in the cookie venture to Tim and Nicolette, Malcolm decides to use the leftover dough to make more, hoping the profits will persuade Simone to change her mind about going into business together. But when Simone finds out that Malcolm went behind her back to make and sell her cookies without permission, she stuns everyone by quitting and going to work for Mick McGinley. Meanwhile, as business suffers without Simone, Malcolm tries to head off a lawsuit brought by Tim and Nicolette. In hopes of duplicating the recipe, Malcolm has Nicolette try and figure it out by tasting the cookies. After failing to get it right, Malcolm then invites Simone for a romantic dinner at his apartment in hopes of wooing her back. But when Simone insists on discussing the deal in bed, Malcolm cannot bring himself to do it and she bolts. However, when McGinley can no longer keep up with Simone's demands, he begs Malcolm to take her back.
- While working the bar at Kelly's, Malcolm meets Julia, an attractive woman who is clearly interested in him. But back at home he's surprised to see her walking out of his roommate's bedroom. And realizing that Malcolm is courting his younger sister, Eddie forbids them from seeing each other. Meanwhile, Eddie buys a parrot hoping to cash in after teaching it to talk. And to make sure he has proof of its language skills, he sets up a video camera to record the bird while he's away. With Eddie determined to protect his sister, Malcolm promises to keep things friendly, and not romantic. Although still suspicious of his roommate's motives, Eddie will to go to work only after Julia agrees to keep the door locked. However, Malcolm is surprised when Julia gives him a big kiss. But, when he can't help but see Eddie's face in hers, Malcolm asks Julia to stop, unaware that the entire episode has been videotaped. When Julia arrives at the garage, Eddie immediately suspects something's up. After hurrying home for the tape, Eddie then heads for the bar where to challenge the unsuspecting Malcolm to a fight. Though Malcolm suggests viewing it would be unfair to Julia, Eddie is convinced that the tape will prove he broke his promise. But once she sees what he's done and accuses Eddie of violating her privacy, Julia shows the whole tape to exonerate Malcolm and force her brother to apologize.
- On the promise of a date with twin sisters Renee and Rosie, Eddie pays $400 for tickets to a concert by K-Ci and JoJo, stars of the popular singing group Jodeci. However, when the lovely twins arrive for their date, they announce that a change in plans has them attending with the concert's two stars instead, leaving Malcolm and Eddie holding the bag. And when they are unsuccessful in getting dates on such short notice, the boys try selling the spare tickets to a pair of beautiful women, only to be arrested for scalping when they turn out to be undercover cops. While awaiting their appearance before a judge, Malcolm and Eddie find that, because of Martin Luther King Day, they are going to have to spend two nights in jail first. After taunting a pair of convicted bank robbers on their way to prison, Eddie decides that he and Malcolm should adopt the two tough guy's identities to keep their fellow inmates at bay. However, when the real Nino and Zeus are returned after their prison bus breaks down, Eddie and Malcolm are exposed as frauds. When Nino and Zeus accuse him of turning his back on his heritage, Malcolm displays a knowledge of black history that humbles the two convicts. Invoking the memory of Dr. King, he then rallies the other inmates to defend him and Eddie against an attack. And they are spared any further threats when Nicolette uses her influence with the police to gain their release. Finally, at his Martin Luther King Day banquet, Malcolm treats his guests to a surprise appearance by JoJo and K-Ci.
- Because of their success, Malcolm and Eddie decide that now might be the time for the Fifty-Fifty Club to expand. After drawing up plans to take over Eddie's old repair shop, he and Malcolm invite their landlord to hear their proposal. And that's when they learn that Hawkins has already rented the old garage to dance teacher Laura Morales. After dropping by Laura's new studio, Malcolm and Eddie both hit it off with their new neighbor. But when Malcolm offers $50 to help her find another location, Laura will hear nothing of it. Then, following a problem that leaves the entire building without any electricity, and some early morning noise coming from the studio, Malcolm calms an irate Eddie before going to see Laura himself. While prepared to get tough, Malcolm is surprised to find that Laura has already dealt with all their problems. And once she offers to pay for having his car towed out of her parking space, too, Malcolm is impressed with her efforts to be a good neighbor. Realizing that his partner has been seduced by Laura's charms, Eddie claims he can get her to move. But after he ends up dancing with Laura, Eddie also agrees that she should stay.
- While at church with her friends, Nicolette volunteers to deliver meals to the congregation's elderly members. However, just as Reverend Hughes is looking for someone to teach Sunday school, Leonard's spilled coffee startles Malcolm and Eddie. And when the Reverend mistakes leaping to their feet as an eagerness to teach, Malcolm and Eddie find themselves offering to share the teaching duties. After Nicolette refuses to let him and Eddie out of their responsibility to the class, Malcolm arrives at Sunday school prepared to teach the story of Moses. However, his detailed historical analysis only stupefies his young charges. But, if Malcolm's lesson bored the youngsters to tears, Eddie's permissive approach the following week only created chaos. As word of their respective disasters reaches the congregation, Malcolm and Eddie are ready to resign. Admonishing them not to give up so easily, Nicolette encourages her friends to find a creative solution to the problem. So, after enlisting Leonard in the effort, they recreate ancient Egypt for their class during a very special dramatic rendition of the story of Moses and Pharaoh.
- When Dexter, Eddie's clumsy cousin, and his bride Leslie come to visit things seem to be looking up for the newlyweds. A new job, house, car, and baby on the way, Dexter's luck could be changing. That is until everything explodes and crumbles apart during their visit and Leslie goes into labor.
- In preparation for their father's surprise 60th birthday party, Malcolm and Maura arrange for Eddie's mom to cook. When Malcolm suggests inviting the Sherman family, both Eddie and his mom agree they would be far too much trouble. But after Sheila lets her sister Ruby know about the party and a Sherman family contingent arrives, it isn't long before Malcolm finds their presence a problem. After missing his dad's phone call because of Eddie's family, Malcolm sends Nicolette to pick him up at the airport. However, as Sheila and Maura square off in the kitchen and Eddie takes offense at his frustrated outburst, Malcolm leaves the apartment to the Shermans and moves his dad's party downstairs. When he and Nicolette arrive at McGee's, Marcus is expecting a big surprise party. And though Malcolm suggests a quiet family dinner at the restaurant, his dad heads upstairs to find Sheila and her family in command of the apartment. When the time comes for Marcus's gifts, Eddie's relatives sneak away. And once a mix up results in Maura and Malcolm each getting their dad a gift he's already bought for himself, an argument erupts over who's responsible for the disaster. Then, during the argument between the Shermans and the McGees, an apparent heart attack puts Marcus in the hospital. However, once the two families settle their differences out of concern for his health, Marcus reveals that he played up a stomach ache just to teach them a lesson.