Favorite Cheese/trash/Genre/craptastic cinema
There's bad, there's awesomely bad and then there's these bad boys right here. Then there's the cheese, and then there's the awesome excessive genre flicks... The best beer or whatevs flicks out there...
List activity
7K views
• 0 this weekCreate a new list
List your movie, TV & celebrity picks.
73 titles
- DirectorEdward D. MurphyStarsCameron MitchellGeoffrey BinneyHope HolidayMartial arts students visit an island with ghosts of dishonored fighters. They encounter a Hitler lookalike running a female slavery operation, leading to encounters with cannibals, piranhas, zombies, and chaos.Kung fu! A mysterious island and Hitler lookalike villain! A crew of badasses washed ashore! Honest to god ZOMBIE KUNG FU NINJAS! What more do ya want from a crap film??
8/10 baby, You know you want to see this craptasterpiece.. - DirectorRobert ClouseStarsKurt ThomasTetchie AgbayaniRichard NortonAn American gymnast travels to a foreign country to compete in a deadly game not won by anyone other than a native in more than 900 years.What do you get when you cross the deadly art of... some martial art with an olympic gold medal winning gymnast?? Um, Gymkata apparently. Sent off to a secret mission to enter a deadly (and by that I mean consists mainly of jogging) tournament that no westerner has ever won in 800 years!
Why is he sent to the fictitious country of Parmestan and why does everyone wear Fez hats there despite looking REALLY white and western?
Who knows, this is one of the most ludicrously random flicks out there, and proof positive that shouting "Hey, I directed Enter The Dragon man!" will get your project greenlit, no matter how jaw droppingly ludicrous said project is.
8/10, Thank god for the excessive '80s! - DirectorPaul GrauStarsJosé GrasLaura PremicaAndrea AlbaniA man seeks revenge after a biker gang murders his family.Spanish garishly attired lothario goes up against bikers from the village people fan club in revenge for them defiling his squeeze. Mucho shoddilly choreographed fight scenes and terrible dubbing ensues in this masterpiece of Eurocraptastic sleaze. 8/10, Viva Espana!
- DirectorBob KelljanStarsJo Ann HarrisPeter BrownJennifer Lee PryorA group of women take a martial arts class to punish a sadistic serial rapist who wears a hockey mask.Feminist exploitation cheese fest, in which a group of intrepid raped chicks come together to form a vigilante gang and the scourge of pervs everywhere. They go on like the gang from Scooby Doo, and hunt their rapist down, who fancies himself a mastermind while parading around in broad daylight, in a bright orange jumpsuit and a hockey mask.
He's also totally evil and not only makes his victims say "thank you for choosing me, Mr rapist", he also makes them sing "Jingle Bells". During the rape. What a scumbag!
7/10 awesome sleaze - DirectorDavid A. PriorStarsCameron MitchellTroy DonahueTed PriorA group of sadistic mercenaries kidnap people off the streets and set them loose on the grounds of their secret camp, so the "students" at the camp can learn how to track down and kill their prey.Mulleted super heroic badass Mike Danton is kidnapped, dumped on an island and hunted like an animal by evil military mulleted types.
However, Mike Danton is badass and offs everyone in elaborate ways.
7/10 Crap with style. Mullet style. - DirectorRoberta FindlayStarsJoe LynnMina BernWalter BryantA drug selling and violent street-gang terrorize the renters of a big trashy apartment-house.Evil Gangbangers besiege honest residents of a horrible tenement block and lots of cut rate gore, rape and drug overdoses take place.
7/10, welcome to da jungle baby. - DirectorRiccardo FredaStarsLuigi PistilliDagmar LassanderAnton DiffringA corpse is found in the trunk of a car that belongs to the Swiss ambassador to the UK. Speculations run wild, as more people around the ambassador keep falling victim to the vicious killer. A former detective is hired to investigate.Bad dubbing, Italian actors playing Oirish characters, nekkid schoolgirls, granny bashing and zoom ups on shifty sinister eyes.
Win win win. 7/10 EVERYONE is sinister in this crapfest! - DirectorPeter ManoogianStarsAndrew PrineDenise CrosbyPatrick ReynoldsA former pilot rebels against his creator, teaming up with the scientist responsible for android technology, her pet robot Spot, a rough-and-tumble riverboat guide, and a martial arts warrior.What do you do when you have a half way decent budget and no concept of originality? Throw in every off the wall concept you can think of, while ripping off other films like The Terminator and Indiana Jones!
8/10- Ninjas, time travel, cyborgs and cavemen combined with '80s score equals YESSS...... - DirectorSteve CarverStarsGary BuseyDarlanne FluegelHenry SilvaOft-wounded L.A. cop Gary Busey invades Mexico to rescue U.S. Army types from a Soviet Agent. Henry Silva, Darlanne Fluege.AKA: McBain: The Movie.
The inherent madness that is Gary Busey is Frank Bulletproof McBain, called so because he's been shot 37 times and is still saving the world from evil Russians. Now he has to get back a captured top secret tank from "Libyans, Niceraguans, Cubans and Ay-rabs".
This film is hilarious. It has Busey going around calling everyone "Butthorn" and HENRY FRICKIN SILVA as an evil Libyan commander who sneers things like "In MY country, women speak with RESPECT!"
That's the only reason you need to see it.
8/10. Films like this make me sad that the Cold War is over. - DirectorMichael WinnerStarsCharles BronsonDeborah RaffinEd LauterArchitect/vigilante Paul Kersey arrives back in New York City and is forcibly recruited by a crooked police chief to fight street crime caused by a large gang terrorizing the neighborhoods.Bronson goes buff in a leather jacket and kills around 2.5 million people, all of them filth.
7.5/10 do NOT annoy Charles Bronson... - DirectorIvan HallStarsJames RyanCharlotte MichelleNorman CoombesTwo former ranking figures of the Axis powers schedule a deadly martial arts tournament in an isolated locale. The two rivals then race to assemble the top competitors from around the world, with Steve Hunt being the most sought after fighter.Nazi super baddie! Who parades around on his Nazi island in which tournament is held due to bet made in war with Japanese superbaddie counterpart.
Parades around in full nazi regalia, with a limo adorned with a Swastika on the hood AND.... a homicidal evil dwarf sidekick, who has an imaginary hand puppet friend he talks to whenever he feels down.
Who can save us from this madness?
James Ryan.
Who's James Ryan?
He's a Sith Ifrikan kung fu flared jeans wearing badass, that's who.
7.5/10, completely bizarre craptastic entertainment. - DirectorIvan HallStarsJames RyanAnneline KrielMichael MayerWhen Dr. Horatio Kane is kidnapped and is forced to create an army of martial artists his daughter Kandy Kane is the only one who can help. She enlists the help of Steve Chase to save her father and the day.James Ryan is beck and this time he wears a tuxedo! And kicks more ass! 7/10
- DirectorBruno MatteiClaudio FragassoStarsOttaviano Dell'AcquaGeretta GerettaMassimo VanniIn a post-apocalyptic earth, where most of humanity lives underground, a group of surface people stumble upon an abandoned lab that was trying to bring life back to the earth's surface, but the place is run over by vicious rats.The Godfather Of Crap, Bruno Mattei's awesome stab at the post apocalyptic genre, with coiffed bikers coming across a deserted town, only to be attacked by killer flesh eating rats, whose attacks appear to consist of some dude throwing them over the actors from offscreen.
Best line: "If you're gonna fornicate like animals, do it outside!"
7.5/10, this is what crap cinema should be all about, people. - DirectorFrank HenenlotterStarsCharlee DanielsonAnthony SneedMark WilsonDriven by biological excess, a man and a woman search for sexual fulfillment, unaware of each other's existence. Unfortunately, they eventually meet, and the bonding of these two very unusual human beings ends in a god awful love story.I'm not even gonna attempt to describe this utterly insane Hennenlotter flick except to say... 8/10... Welcome back Frank, you've been away far too long.
- DirectorFrank HenenlotterStarsRick HearstGordon MacDonaldJennifer LowryOne morning, a young man wakes to find that a small, disgusting creature has attached itself to the base of his brain stem. The creature gives him a euphoric state of happiness but demands human victims in return.Hennenlotter again, this time focusing on a luckless dude who quite literally hooks up with a suave, brain eating parasite called Aylmore. Has a detox scene which manages to be equally hilarious and horrifying.
8/10, vintage Hennenlotter- ropey FX, wild overacting and often brilliant. - DirectorSteve CarverStarsChuck NorrisChristopher LeeRichard RoundtreeA SFPD undercover narcotics cop aims to avenge his partner's death and destroy a drug-smuggling ring operated by the Chinese Triads.Chuck Norris. Christopher Lee. Richard Roundtree (You're daaaamn right) and professor Tanaka.
Enough said. 7.5/10 - DirectorSteve CarverStarsChuck NorrisDavid CarradineBarbara CarreraAfter helping the local police with some horse thieves, a Texas Ranger aims at a drug lord with arms trade as well. They're interested in the same woman and they're both into martial arts.If you like Chuck Norris, evil dwarfs who spin their walls into secret rooms to escape Chuck's wrath and David Carradine in a red kara-tay suit, then Lone Wolf McQuaid is for you. 7/10
- DirectorLamberto BavaStarsUrbano BarberiniNatasha HoveyKarl ZinnyA group of random people are invited to a screening of a mysterious movie, only to find themselves trapped in the theater with ravenous demons.Cheesefest that it is, it's still the one great film of Lamberto Bava I've seen. 8/10
- DirectorUmberto LenziStarsHugo StiglitzLaura TrotterMaria Rosaria OmaggioAn airplane exposed to radiation lands, and blood drinking zombies emerge armed with knives, guns and teeth! They go on a rampage slicing, dicing, and biting their way across the Italian countryside.Fast zombies who use weapons and attack chicks doing yoga! Beardy hero must save the day! Sweet. 7/10
- DirectorMario LandiStarsSacha PitoëffGianni DeiMariangela GiordanoFive people receive an anonymous letter revealing a secret of theirs and inviting them to come stay at a mansion that houses a clinic run by a corrupt doctor who experiments on the brain of his comatose son.Titular only sequel from those crazy Italians in which every chick gets butt nekkid and people die in icky grisly set piece ways.
7/10, trashtastic - DirectorBruno MatteiClaudio FragassoStarsMargie NewtonFranco GarofaloSelan KarayAfter an experiment gone wrong, a virus that turns people into zombies spreads throughout New Guinea. A female reporter and her cameraman, and a team of four commandos sent to investigate try to survive the onslaught.How to make a zombie film by Bruno Mattei:
Step #1 Have atrocious dubbing
Step 2# Blatantly, shamelessly, and possibly sue-inducingly steal the score from Dawn Of The Dead
Step #3 Have a ham fisted message to go with your rip off, thereby making at least SOME claim at originality
Step #4 Throw in a bunch of cannibals in the finale, in case your audience gets bored with the zombies.
The result: 7/10.Bruno may make crap but it's darned entertaining crap nonetheless. - DirectorAmir ShervanStarsRobert Z'DarMathew KaredasJanis FarleyJoe Marshall and Frank Washington are two tenacious police detectives who seek at all costs to stop the Katana, a renegade Yakuza gang composed of violent and sadistic killers who want to lead the drug trade in Los Angeles.Mulleted hero cop kicks ass, chops off arms in a cheapo looking, bargain basement-style FX manner and goes up against Japanese villain, the not remotely Japanese in the slightest Robert Z'Dar.
6.5/10, passes the crap test - DirectorEddie NicartStarsWeng WengYehlen CatralCarmi MartinThe diminutive Agent 00 must rescue a kidnapped scientist and stop a mysterious warlord from taking over the world.Weng-Weng is secret agent 00, a badass dwarf who kicks... um, shins.
Has awesome dialogue such as "The forces of good are our sworn enemy" and "He must be exterminated and I mean lethally!"
6.5/10. Filipino secret agent dwarfs are dangerous. - DirectorMichele Massimo TarantiniStarsMichael SopkiwSuzane CarvalhoMilton RodríguezA small plane carrying fossil hunters crashes in the Amazon jungle, and the survivors must battle their way through cannibals, wild animals, and slave traders.Within the first 15 minutes of this film, we're treated to a bar fight, Michael Sopkiw as a cool clean hero, full frontal nudity and a plane crash. It also has cannibals, quicksand and awesome Italian-style sound FX to go with each fight, and yes, the dubbing is crap too.
These are reasons enough to see this film. 7/10. - DirectorPeter ManoogianStarsGary FrankRay Parker Jr.Jan-Michael VincentAn insurance salesman inadvertently gets trapped after dark in an apartment building that is terrorized by a street gang called "The Vampires."An insurance salesman making a sale at a tenement block runs afoul of vicious street gang The Vampires, led with relish by Tony Todd. Helped by Ray Parker Jnr and addled 'Nam vet jean Michael Vincent, it's a solid little genre flick in its own right.7/10
- DirectorBrian Trenchard-SmithStarsSteve RailsbackOlivia HusseyMichael CraigIn a dystopian future where deviants are held in "re-education" camps, a freedom fighter and an innocent prisoner try to survive their decadent oppressors' game of kill-or-be-killed.Steve Railsback in a dystopian universe in a special prison gets hunted by rich elitist swine and an honest to god ogre in this bonkers show of randomness from Brian Trentchard-Smith
7.5/10, completely nuts film. - DirectorCorey YuenStarsLoren AvedonMax ThayerCynthia RothrockIn this sequel, Scott Wylde, an American kickboxer, must go to Cambodia to rescue his Vietnamese girlfriend from Russian and Vietnamese troops.Mulletted good guy vs evil Russian bad guy commandant who throws bothersome capitalists into a pit of crocodiles he keeps handy. 7/10 Awesomely crap.
- DirectorWings HauserStarsWings HauserLinda BlairCole HauserA married couple is separated because of the husband's drinking. They are reunited to seek justice when their homosexual son is murdered by Neo- Nazi skinheads.Wings Hauser! Linda Blair! Vs Nazi skins led by Cole Hauser, who have a swastika for a floor! With LOTS of montages!
7/10, great fun - DirectorJoseph ZitoStarsChuck NorrisRichard LynchMelissa ProphetA one-man army comes to the rescue when the United States are invaded by communists.Ole death face himself Richard Lynch is evil Russian Rostov, sent to conquer the US from within. His ONE obstacle... CHUCK NORRIS.
7/10 awesome trash. - DirectorRuggero DeodatoStarsChristopher ConnellyGioia ScolaTony KingAn ancient Atlantean relic is discovered on the ocean floor near a sunken nuclear submarine, which triggers a violent set of events that sees a couple of scientists teaming up with a few mercenaries to survive the onslaught that follows.God bless those shameless Italians and their absolute willingness to throw in every genre concept imaginable in order to rip off other more popular films at the time.
Ruggero Deodato rips off everything from Indiana Jones to Mad Max in this hilarious crapfest about marauding post apocalyptic-style bikers... FROM ATLANTIS!. 7.5/10, great fun from start to finish, with a cracking pace. - DirectorDan RosenthalRichard BeldingStarsRobert ResnickDebra BleeRaul AragonRichard Thursby is murdered and his wife Janice is being abducted. Former cop and martial arts expert, Philip Sloane, is retained by family and flies to Manila in search of clues.When his ex squeeze is kidnapped in the Phillipines by...um, bad guys for... some reason, then enter SLOANE, a total badass with a strangely high pitched voice and an awesome '80s 'do.
This leads to confrontations with villainous overlords, mysterious jungles and cannibal pygmies! 7/10- win! - DirectorHong Lu WongStarsAlan EnglishPaul John StannersNian WattsA Thai veteran of the Vietnam War and all around master of combat leads a group of men on a daring mission into the jungles of Vietnam to topple a dangerous drug lord and his cannibal army.A team of mercenary badasses axe, eye-gouge, throat-slit and garrotte their way to an evil baddie in a remote jungle lair, in this Bonkers Thai exploitative cheese fest that delivers in spades, despite cheerfully stealing the score from Dawn Of The Dead. 7/10, another film that needs a dvd release for lovers of crap.
- DirectorRobert RundleStarsRobert Z'DarDree LangeColleen CorriganIn the year of 2008, war and sickness have overtaken the planet. The deranged government declares single women a threat to the human race. Singles women are imprisoned. The corrupt warden is determined to keep the prisoners locked up.Absolutely nuts and incredibly random post apocalyptic piece of crap that looks like it was shot on a budget of $50, it's nonetheless hella entertaining, obligingly throwing in a ridiculous plot, ninjas, cyborgs and chainsaw duels. 7/10, an almost willfully awful flick and for lovers of bad cinema only.
- DirectorDavid HaycoxJoseph LennonMardy SouthStarsJeff BatemanChad BernhardCurtis Bush5-Time World Kickboxing Champion Curtis Bush plays Alex Hunter, an up-and-coming kickboxer whose fiancé and father are brutally murdered by the city's cold-blooded and sadistic crime boss, and he himself tortured and left for dead. Discovered and nursed back to health by a wheelchair-bound Vietnam Vet who becomes his mentor, Alex is transformed into an avenging streetfighter - a one man vigilante and skull-cracking killing machine known as...The Dark Angel. Using controlled fury and a hunger for revenge to seek bloody retribution against low-life criminal scum, Alex's ultimate target is the untouchable crime boss. But a beautiful tabloid journalist who seeks to uncover the true identity of The Dark Angel is hot on the trail, yet that won't stop Alex from exacting his "eye for an eye". First, he must enter the Arena of Death and destroy one-by-one the most savage and deadly fighters imported from around the world by the crime boss. It WILL be the most thrilling, bone-cracking showdown ever!Angry vigilante beats the ever loving crap outa bad guys in a bargain basement and kinda neck snappy manner, all to a gonzo synthesizer score in this incredibly tacky (and surprisingly splattery) piece of trash, that's nevertheless a hoot throughout. 7/10 pure craptastic-ness!!
- DirectorFranco ProsperiStarsLorraine De SelleAntonio Di LeoUgo BolognaThe water supply for a large city zoo becomes contaminated with PCP, and the animals go crazy and get loose.Bonkers nuts killer animal flick from those crazy Italians which throws taste out the window and is a briskly paced hoot from start to finish. Want to see a teen get her face squished by an enraged elephant? You will if you watch this.
7.5/10 awesome fun. - DirectorJean-Marie PallardyStarsRobert GintyFred WilliamsonBelinda MayneTwo Russian siblings living in Istanbul, Turkey, who work in the diamond fencing business, scheme to steal the newly discovered legendary diamond White Fire, but their rivals have other plans in mind.Jewel thieves, chainsaws, cool evil villain underground lairs and a BAFFLING and rather worrisome incestuous themed subplot, combined with a totally inappropriate 80s pop score to scenes of torture and Robert Ginty with a heroic fighter pilot moustache, not to mention Fred The Hammer Williamson as a vengeful pimp looking to reclaim his ho = WIN.
8/10, pure gold. - DirectorNgai Choi LamStarsChow Yun-FatSiu-Ho ChinMaggie CheungAn adventurer who's been inflicted with a deadly curse during a previous expedition in Thailand goes back to battle an evil sorcerer and his tribal army and deadly creatures.Aka The Seventh Curse, this is a completely demented Indiana Jones knock off, only being a Hong Kong knock off, it obligingly throws in some hot nekkid chicks, chop socky and old style grue. 7.5/10 A jaw droppingly entertaining flick from start to finish.
- DirectorJuan Piquer SimónStarsChristopher GeorgeLynda Day GeorgeFrank BrañaThe co-eds of a Boston college campus are targeted by a mysterious killer who is creating a human jigsaw puzzle from their body parts.One of the most awesomely bad slashers ever made. 7.5/10, great fun.
- DirectorRobert TaiStarsAlexander Rei LoPhilip SoHsueh-Erh HuSewage workers Jack and Charlie get involved in an international Asian gang war when Jack helps the boss of a Shanghai gang against one of his rebellious underlings. This underling then strikes a deal with the Japanese Yakuza in the hopes of toppling his boss and become the leader of Shanghai himself. When the Yakuza assassinate the Shanghai boss, Jack pledges to avenge his new friend's death. As he seeks out those ultimately responsible, he does battle with a variety of ninjas and mercenaries from around the world.Hilariously dubbed crapfest that nonetheless has some decent fights. 7/10
- DirectorGideon AmirStarsDavid CarradineCharles GrantMakoCol. Cooper leads a group of American P.O.W.s, battling their way to freedom as Saigon falls to the Viet Cong.David Carradine kills the entire NVA while draped in the stars & stripes... literally. And if that wasn't awesome enough it also stars Steve James. 7/10
- DirectorLew LehmanStarsSammy SnydersJeannie EliasSonja SmitsA solitary and strange preteen boy wreaks revenge on his harassers when he makes a disturbing discovery in the depth of a forest.One of the most bizarro nutty horrors ever made. 7.5/10
- DirectorBrett LeonardStarsJeremy SlateCheryl LawsonStephen Gregory FosterThe arrival of an amnesiac patient in a psychiatric hospital somehow frees a mad doctor, who was shot and entombed with his fiendish experiments in an abandoned wing of the asylum 20 years before.A chick obligingly runs around in her undies for most of this cheesefest, which is good enough for me. 7/10
- DirectorBruno MatteiStarsCarla SolaroGabriele GoriCarlo MucariWhen the daughter of a politician suddenly disappears, her step-mother investigates the porno industry in search of her.Bruno Mattei's hilariously trashy 8MM knock off is equally cheese laden and actually rather disturbing in parts. 6.5/10
- DirectorAntonio MargheritiStarsDavid WarbeckTisa FarrowTony KingDuring the Vietnam war, an American soldier gets trapped behind enemy lines. A squad of his buddies sets out to rescue him.What do you do when The Deer Hunter reaps awards and makes Michael Camino boatloads of cash? If you're Antonio Margeriti, you call your flick The Last Hunter and then rip off Apocalypse Now. 6.5/10
- DirectorTim SpringStarsWings HauserAnneline KrielArnold VoslooA cop sets up his girlfriend as a target in order to trap a serial killer.Wings Hauser vs evil murderliser Arnold Voosloo... in Sith Ifrika! 6/10
- DirectorMarino GirolamiStarsIan McCullochAlexandra Delli ColliSherry BuchananAn expedition in the East Indies, encounters not only the cannibals they were looking for, but also an evil scientist and his zombie army.Awesome cheese with cannibals, zombies and mad doctors, it's a hoot from start to finish. 7/10
- DirectorDuke MitchellStarsDuke MitchellVic CaesarLorenzo DardadoThe ruthless son of a Mafia kingpin blasts his way through Hollywood on a bloody crime spree.Rather whackadoo Mafia flick with a kickass opening scene. 6/10
- DirectorTerry LeonardStarsFred DryerBrian KeithJoseph GianGunnery Sergeant Burns reports for duty to an American Embassy in the Middle East. However due to the 'enlightened' views of the Ambassador, the marine security detachment he is in charge of is severely restricted in their functions and presence to avoid upsetting the host government. As a result, when terrorists attack the compound, they are able to kidnap hostages and escape with little opposition. Burns ignores the Ambassador's restrictions, and throws the rule books out the window, as he becomes a one man army in an attempt to rescue the hostages, and wipe out the terrorists.Awesomely xenophobic actioner in which one badass marine kills lots and lots of bad guys in the terrorist haven (and decidedly fictitious) nation of Jemal. It also has some genuinely impressive stunts. 7/10
- DirectorMenahem GolanStarsChuck NorrisLee MarvinMartin BalsamAfter a plane is hijacked by terrorists, The Delta Force is sent in to resolve the crisis.Chuck Norris & Lee Marvin... gold. 7/10
- DirectorDeran SarafianStarsChristopher LambertMario Van PeeblesDenis LearyUSD400,000,000 is stolen and a drug lord wants it back. The killed thief's brother is broken out of prison by a DEA bounty hunter to help find the money boat. The body count continues in Latin America.Stupid but really fun buddy actioner that's surprisingly well cast and well worth checking out. 7/10
- DirectorSylvester StalloneStarsSylvester StalloneJulie BenzMatthew MarsdenIn Thailand, John Rambo joins a group of mercenaries to venture into war-torn Burma, and rescue a group of Christian aid workers who were kidnapped by the ruthless local infantry unit.Against all odds, Sly belts out a brutal and gritty exploitative genre sequel and it delivers in spades. 8.5/10, if not for the CGI, it would have been rated even higher.
- DirectorGareth EvansStarsIko UwaisAnanda GeorgeRay SahetapyA S.W.A.T. team becomes trapped in a tenement run by a ruthless mobster and his army of killers and thugs.Gareth Evans' second feature is even more jaw dropping than Merantau and is one of the best action genre flicks out there. 9/10 a must see film.
- DirectorGareth EvansStarsIko UwaisSisca JessicaChristine HakimA young man from the countryside uses his skills in silat martial arts to survive the slave trade.Awesome martial arts flick that while being a shade leisurely in build up, absolutely kicks off in the second half and doesn't let up. 8/10
- DirectorNathan J. WhiteStarsGregory FortescueStevie LeeSteve DixonThe main character is stricken with a horrible disease, but it doesn't affect him. It spreads to every inamimate object that he touches, and then if another person touches the object, they are dissolved into it. No one knows that Jake is the carrier except him. This brings about the "red objects" that specify every object that he has touched, as discovered by the community with cats. They use cats to test inanimate objects for the disease. And they cover themselves in garbage bags to protect themselves.Absolutely bonkers nuts horror that I'm not even gonna try and explain except to say see it. See it now. 7.5/10
- DirectorDavid WellingtonStarsWings HauserLynne AdamsPierre LenoirA mad woman and her cheating husband hire men to fix up their new house. Mysterious carpenter, Ed, becomes her guardian angel, but he is actually an executed killer whose spirit has returned to finish the dream house he once started.Nutty but original Canadian cheesefest with the Wingman in fine form. 7/10
- DirectorRobert BouvierStarsDavid Christopher AdamsonLee Ann NestegardEdward ChesterA detective teams up with a talk-show host to take down a homophobic serial killer on the streets of Toronto.Um... AIDSploitation slasher with glory hole castration anyone? Cuz I say... yay! 6.5/10
- DirectorJames W. RobersonStarsJames HoughtonAlbert SalmiLynn CarlinA witch put to death in 1692 swears vengeance on her persecutors and returns to the present day to punish their descendants.Random but surprisingly effective in parts cheesefest that's well worth seeing, with some nutty set piece kills. 7/10
- DirectorPatrick LussierStarsNicolas CageAmber HeardWilliam FichtnerA vengeful father escapes from hell and chases after the men who killed his daughter and kidnapped his granddaughter.A far more heartfelt throwback flick than the likes of Machete and great fun from start to finish. 8/10
- DirectorNeil LaButeStarsNicolas CageEllen BurstynLeelee SobieskiA sheriff investigating the disappearance of a young girl from a small island discovers there's a larger mystery to solve among the island's secretive, neo-pagan community.Utterly craptastic remake that's one of the most unintentionally hilarious contemporary horrors I've ever seen. 7/10, hilarious flick.
- DirectorAntonio MargheritiStarsReb BrownCorinne CléryJohn SteinerA warrior seeks his true origins in a seemingly prehistoric wasteland.Antonio Margeriti's bonkers fantasy-cum-postapocalyptic flick features Yor, a disturbingly aryan looking caveman who fights the bad guys, gets the chicks and gets into all sorts of random adventures, in this way entertaining crapfest. 7/10
- DirectorPaul KyriaziStarsRonald L. MarchiniMichael ChongJoshua JohnsonAn evil Oriental Dragon Lady injects three martial arts fighters with a serum that turns them into zombie-like assassins, and she sends them out against her enemies.Bonkers and way entertaining chop socky trash in which an evil lady overlord mind controls three kung fu killing machines. 7.5/10
- DirectorDario ArgentoStarsAsia ArgentoCristian SolimenoAdam JamesAn American art student in Rome accidentally triggers the return of Mater Lachrymarum - the Third Mother - and must use her latent magical powers to end the witch's reign of terror.Completely demented conclusion to Dario's Three mothers trilogy, it's a craptastic and ott hoot in which something way cool happens every 15 minutes or so. 7.5/10, Eurotrash rarely gets more entertaining than this.
- DirectorMichel LemoineStarsMichel LemoineNathalie ZeigerHoward VernonA businessman, who's a descendant of a brutal Russian count, can't discern hallucinations from reality when he sees visions of extreme violence against young women staying at his castle.Gratuitous and hilariously crappy sleazefest in which a seriously addled count chases chicks all over his estate. 7/10, great fun.
- DirectorGenie JosephThomas DoranBrendan FaulknerStarsFelix WardMaria PechukasDan ScottA wicked sorcerer tries to sacrifice a group of people inside his house with the intention of using their vitality to keep his wife alive.Another demented flick in which a bunch of travelers are menaced by monsters in a haunted house. Equally craptastic and surprisingly inventive, it would make a damn fine Halloween night viewing. 7/10
- DirectorAdam BrooksJeremy GillespieMatthew KennedyStarsAdam BrooksMatthew KennedyConor SweeneyA murderer, a priest, and a delinquent try to bring down a father-killing madman.One of the most demented things I've ever seen and probably will ever see. 8.5/10
- DirectorWoo-sang ParkY.K. KimStarsY.K. KimVincent HirschJoseph DiamandA martial arts rock band goes up against a band of motorcycle ninjas who have tightened their grip on Florida's narcotics trade.Utterly hilarious crap in which a kung fu pop group fight drug lords! 7/10
- DirectorPete TravisStarsKarl UrbanOlivia ThirlbyLena HeadeyIn a violent, futuristic city where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO.Kickass genre flick and as good an adaptation as fans could have hoped for and fans need not fear- Karl Urban IS Dredd. A strong 8/10
- DirectorNoel MarshallStarsTippi HedrenNoel MarshallMelanie GriffithA naturalist living with big cats in East Africa expects a visit by his family of four from Chicago. A mix-up leaves him searching for his family, who have been left in the clutches of wild lions.A film which led to 70 cast and crew members being mauled by lions, tigers, cheetahs and leopards, including a young Melanie Griffith and how nobody was killed is quite frankly a miracle. 7/10 a film which really needs to be seen to be believed.
- DirectorGeorge PavlouStarsDavid DukesKelly PiperHugh O'ConorAn ancient creature called Rawhead is awakened from its slumber near an Irish village and goes on a rampage killing anyone in sight.
- DirectorSergio BergonzelliStarsJohn Phillip LawGordon MitchellBrigitte ChristensenAfter his beloved wife dies, an unbalanced painter who believes himself to be the reincarnation of Vincent Van Gogh goes over the edge and digs up her corpse--with the help of his necrophiliac butler--to bring it back to his castle and use it for "inspiration". He soon meets a beautiful musician who looks exactly like his late wife and brings her back to his castle. However, she eventually discovers their secret: the butler murders young women, disposes of their bodies and uses their blood--"the color of life"--for the artist's paints.
- DirectorBruno MatteiStarsYvette YzonDyane CraystanAmelie PontaillerThree women are sent by steamboat to an undisclosed jungle prison called "The Home of Lost Souls". Here they experience the usual beatings, whippings, cat fights and humiliations.
- DirectorBruno MatteiStarsHelena WagnerClaudio MoralesCindy Jelic MaticThe network where the famous anchorwoman Grace Forsyte works, is collapsing and she would do everything to regain the favour of the audience, therefore she convinces her professional team to go to the Amazon jungle for a sensational scoop about the cannibals
- DirectorDon SharpStarsGeorge SandersBeryl ReidNicky HensonAn amiable, psychopathic leader of a violent teen motorbike gang is spurred by his mother, a Satan-worshiping spiritual medium, into committing suicide and returning to life as an "undead".