Games & Films reviewed by TheSpoonyOne
I met you on a Thursday. Friday, took you home.
Well Saturday, I'm begging you, baby, Just leave me alone.
You're turning me upside down.
Pull me to the ground when you shake me, shake me.
I'm giving you what you need,
and I'm begging, please, don't break me, break me love.
Well Saturday, I'm begging you, baby, Just leave me alone.
You're turning me upside down.
Pull me to the ground when you shake me, shake me.
I'm giving you what you need,
and I'm begging, please, don't break me, break me love.
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- Aka "The Adventures of Bayou Billy."
- DirectorNorio NakadataAka "Samurai Zombie Nation."
- Infamous Atari 2600 adaption of "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial" in which the eponymous character has to navigate through various screens to collect three pieces of an interplanetary telephone that will allow him to contact his home planet.
- StarsPer SolliMichael J. SheaKevin Alan MooreYou play the part of a military team sent to investigate what happened at U.S. Outpost 31, and must face the Thing yourself.
- DirectorYoshinori KitaseA group of students at a military academy rescue a mysterious girl, who some say is the sorceress who wants to govern the universe.For an 11-part review.
- StarsDavid DuchovnyGillian AndersonMitch PileggiSurvival horror game set during season 7 of The X-Files (1993). Scully and Mulder travel to Red Falls, Colorado to look for two missing teenage girls accused of witchcraft only to find the place infested with black oil zombies.
- DirectorDouglas GayetonStarsChris GartinClare CareyYvonne de la VegaIn a cyberpunk future mnemonics are couriers hired to carry sensitive data uploaded in their cybernaticaly enhanced brains. Johnny's latest job is going to get him killed fast unless he extracts the data asap. But he needs a code to do it.
- DirectorJohn DykstraStarsDavid UnderwoodRobert CostanzoKari G. PeytonIn the future, much of humanity has been forced to live underground. The player takes the role of a pilot who flies through sewers beneath the paradise Solar City and exterminates creatures at the order of evil Commissioner Stenchler."And what's my payback?! ...A million pounds of tube steak!"
- StarsDavid J. FieldingBarbara GoodsonRichard Steven HorvitzSega-CD FMV game that combines various clips from the first seasons to tell the story of how Rita tried to destroy the Green Ranger. As the movie plays, the player must quickly press buttons that correspond to those that appear on screen.The Sega CD version.
- DirectorKen BerrisStarsMichael BacallStephanie FurstMichael DurretteA kid and his sister, friends, neighbors and parents can't agree on what the perfect Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch music video should look like. Edit videos they'd like for "Good Vibrations", "I Need Money" and "You Gotta Believe".
- DirectorKen BerrisStarsJamie JohnsonAllison BarronScott MenvilleTwo hot pushy girl pool players have clashed with the patrons of a rock bar on the band INXS. If you make a video they like for one of INXS songs "Heaven Sent", "Not Enough Time" and "Baby Don't Cry", the table and the girls are yours.
- DirectorChris PainterStarsRichard McGregorMarianne LewisMichael CervinA motormouth radio DJ has given you the task to edit videos for three Kris Kross songs - "Jump", "Warm It Up", and "I Missed The Bus". The callers tell you what they want to see in the video and then the DJ rates your work.
- DirectorChris PainterStarsLamont JohnsonPhil LaMarrPatricia ClipperThe corporate tyrant of the Music Factory has given you the task to edit videos for three C+C Music Factory songs - "Gonna Make You Sweat", "Things That Make You Go Hmm..." and "Here We Go Let's Rock and Roll."Aka "C+C Music Factory: Make My Video"
- DirectorAntonio MargheritiStarsReb BrownCorinne CléryJohn SteinerA warrior seeks his true origins in a seemingly prehistoric wasteland."We're will need a lot more hemp before we're through."
- CreatorTim ChildStarsHugo MyattPaul ValentineClifford NorgateDungeons and Dragons-style show that lets contestants explore a computer-generated fantasy world, with wicked special effects and cunning puzzles."Oooooooooooh, nasty."
- DirectorBecky AllenJuan M. AlvaradoRobb HartStarsSylvester StalloneWesley SnipesMark De AlessandroVideo game adaptation of the film Demolition Man (1993). The full-motion video game uses a mix of 2D fighting, driving, first-person shooter, and shooting galleries as John Spartan tries to stop Simon Phoenix.The 3DO version.
- StarsGordon RamsayPlayers are challenged to prepare, cook and serve a meal under the authority of Gordon Ramsay.
- DirectorJames L. ConwayStarsJohn de LancieBarry LynchJohn CothranThe player is a Starfleet cadet whose father was killed during the Battle of Wolf 359 fought against the Borg 10 years ago. Impish Q shows up and offers him to go back in time to his father's ship during the battle and try to save him.
- In this side-scrolling 2D action adventure platformer for NES based on the Dirty Harry movie franchise, Harry must navigate the gang-infested San Francisco streets, sewers and the Alcatraz to take down the crime lord named Anaconda.
- Side-scrolling action platform game in which the player controls Ken who has been given cybernetic implants. The objective of each stage is to destroy the designated target and obtain the energy required to open a transdimensional portal.
- DirectorJoseph VelascoStarsRyong KeoIrina ShevchenkoBruce LeA brilliant professor gathers cells from the late Bruce Lee and creates three clones, who are trained in martial arts and sent out to fight crime.For a 2-part review.
- DirectorUwe BollStarsChristian SlaterTara ReidStephen DorffA detective of the paranormal slowly unravels mysterious events with deadly results.With The Nostalgia Critic and Linkara.
- DirectorBruno MatteiStarsReb BrownCatherine HicklandMassimo VanniA clone/mix of PREDATOR, RAMBO, and ROBOCOP gone nuts jungle flick with an international cast, exotic locale and fantastic electronic music."BAM- Big Ass Motherfuckers."
- DirectorRandel ReissStarsEmil BejstamYou control Spider-Man as you race against time tracking down an nuclear bomb set by the Kingpin.With Linkara
- DirectorIwao HoritaYou play Captain America and/or his fellow Avengers as you battle the forces of the Red Skull.With Linkara
- DirectorBritton JacksonJed WeintrobStarsAmi DolenzAndrew RobinsonSoleil Moon Frye"Bloodwings: Pumpkinhead's Revenge" is a first-person shooter computer game based off the movie with the same name."Tragedy, ain't it?"
- DirectorBruno MatteiStarsReb BrownChristopher ConnellyLouise KamsteegIn the Vietnam war, an American soldier survives a botched mission, with help from a group of locals who perceive him as a hero. He's sent back for a reconnaissance mission, only to find his helpers massacred by a brutal Russian soldier."JAKODA!!!"
- DirectorElton ReinsThree children pilots fight against the Dark Empire on their mission to destroy the universe.With Bennett the Sage.
- DirectorJohn MurlowskiStarsHulk HoganDon StarkRobin CurtisA heartless millionaire believes he is Santa Claus after an accident renders him amnesiac.For Christmas 2009.
- DirectorRod HolcombStarsReb BrownLen BirmanHeather Menzies-UrichA recipient of an experimental body enhancement chemical retaliates against his would be killers as a star spangled superhero."But why? Brackett is no mad-dog killer; he is after something."
- DirectorIvan NagyStarsReb BrownConnie SelleccaLen BirmanThe star spangled hero must battle a villain's plan to poison America with a chemical that horrifically accelerates the aging process.
- DirectorYoshinori KitaseStarsJames Arnold TaylorHedy BurressJohn DiMaggioA celebrated young athlete is drawn from his futuristic hometown and convenient lifestyle to a harsh and techno-phobic land by a mysterious force only known as Sin.For a 4-part review.
- DirectorSteve HillikerErin RobertsStarsJohn RoweClive OwenJohn HurtArris wakes up in a hospital after surviving the crash of the spaceship Canera. He can't remember who he is or what he was doing on the ship, when a group of assassins break in and try to kill him.
- DirectorJohn HughesStarsMatthew BroderickAlan RuckMia SaraA popular high school student, admired by his peers, decides to take a day off from school and goes to extreme lengths to pull it off, to the chagrin of his Dean, who'll do anything to stop him.Reviewed by Doctor Insano, for April Fools Day 2010.
- DirectorChris RobertsStarsFreddie Prinze Jr.Matthew LillardSaffron BurrowsBlair, a fighter pilot, joins an interstellar war to fight the evil Kilrathi who are trying to destroy the universe.The scream is in the #10 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.
- DirectorRussell MulcahyStarsChristopher LambertSean ConneryVirginia MadsenIn the future, Highlander Connor MacLeod must prevent the destruction of Earth under an anti-ozone shield.For a 2-part review.
- DirectorRichard GarriottThe player receives quests from Lord British to kill a succession of ten increasingly difficult monsters. The majority takes place in a dungeon. The player can visit a shop to purchase food and equipment and view the player's statistics.
- Your job is to complete several quests and gather special stones to defeat the evil wizard, Mondain.
- Sowing the seeds of evil in every man's soul.
- 20 years after the defeat of Minax, a volcanic isle has appeared in the southern seas. Evil seems to iminate from this place. You and 3 others have been called forth to go answer the mystery and riddle of the isle, Exodus.
- DirectorSteven Hilliard SternStarsTom HanksWendy CrewsonDavid WysockiBound together by a desire to play "Mazes and Monsters," Robbie and his three college classmates decide to move the board game into the local legendary cavern."Mazes and Monsters is a far out game."
- Can you become an Avatar?
- DirectorRichard Garriott
- DirectorStephen A. MitchellStarsHarvey AtkinLawrence BayneBenedict CampbellAction adventure game for Atari Jaguar CD based on the first episode of the animated TV series and done in the same vein as the first Alone in the Dark games. Quentin MacLeod must fight soldiers to free his people from slavers' prison.The bad camera is in the #11 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.
- DirectorPhilippe MoraStarsChristopher LeeAnnie McEnroeReb BrownA man discovers that his sister was a werewolf, and helps an investigator track down a gang of the monsters through the United States and eastern Europe.Aka "Howling 2: Stirba Werewolf Bitch." For Halloween 2010.
"Oh, come on." - DirectorDouglas AarniokoskiStarsChristopher LambertAdrian PaulBruce PayneImmortals Connor and Duncan MacLeod must join forces against Kell, an evil immortal who has become too strong for anyone to face alone.With Pat the NES Punk.
- DirectorBrett LeonardStarsAdrian PaulThekla ReutenCristian SolimenoDuncan MacLeod and his fellow Immortals quest to locate the Grail of their world.
- StarsTetsuya IwanagaRik NagelMaya OkamotoA young teen gets sent to an ancient land where he has to fight for his life.With Bennett the Sage.
- DirectorDavid AllenCharles BandJohn Carl BuechlerStarsJeffrey ByronRichard MollLeslie WingA demonic wizard challenges a modern-day computer programmer to a battle of technology vs. sorcery, with the programmer's girlfriend as the prize.Reviewed by Doctor Insano.
- DirectorRichard GarriottStarsBill JohnsonThe Avatar is called back to Britannia and is asked to solve a murder. While doing so, the plans of an evil force unfold.For a 2-part review.
I'm the goddamn avatar. - DirectorLang ElliottStarsLou FerrignoReb BrownMichael DanteA GI in Vietnam saves his buddy's life, but in the process is shot in the head. The injury results in brain damage to the point where he basically has a child's brain in a (very large) man's body. When they get out of the Marine Corps, the two open up a bar together, but some local gangsters make things tough for them after they refuse to take part in brutal "cage" matches where fighters battle to the point of serious injury and/or death.For Rebruary 2011.
"I like wrestling."
The gang member laughing is in the #6 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list. - DirectorLang ElliottStarsCandra AdamsLou FerrignoRichard ArdiAfter surviving Vietnam and the illegal fighting circuit, one man finds himself facing a whole new set of challenges in this action-drama. Billy Thomas (Lou Ferrigno) is a kind soul who happens to have a colossal body and a remarkable talent for the martial arts. Tim Yum Lin (James Shigeta) is leader of an underground crime syndicate who has dreamed up a way to profit from Billy's size and strength. Tim and his underlings kidnap Billy and hold him captive, telling him that his best friend has been killed and he must obey or he'll be next. Billy is forced to take on a number of brutal, fearless competitors in no-holds-barred cage matches held in an underground arena,For Rebruary 2011
- DirectorRiki Shelach NissimoffStarsPeter FondaReb BrownRon O'NealThe president of an African country wants to boost his economy with a new dam. He ignores the protests of the tribes in the flooded region, so they declare rebellion. To avoid bad publicity, the president doesn't use his army, but hires four international mercenaries to find tribe leader Kuruba and smother the protest. However, after learning about the tribes' motivation, Vietnam veterans T.J. and Cliff realize how they're being used and reconsider.For Rebruary 2011.
"We can't. The press."
The Manliest Moment Ever is in the #7 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list. - StarsBill JohnsonIn an attempt to conquer the world, The Guardian encases Castle Britannia and its occupants--including the Avatar--in a giant blackrock gem.
- DirectorJesús FrancoOlivier MathotStarsHoward VernonAntonio MayansLina RomayA young doctor visits the secluded home of his ailing mentor - Eric Usher - who believes the house itself is alive and plotting to drive him insane, manifesting itself through ghostly apparitions.Aka "Zombie 5." Reviewed in the style of The Cinema Snob, for April Fools Day 2011.
"The Big Tits Dragon" is in the #4 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list. - DirectorDon CoscarelliStarsMarc SingerTanya RobertsRip TornA sword-and-sorcery fantasy about a young man's search for revenge. Armed with supernatural powers, the handsome hero and his animal allies wage war against marauding forces.
- DirectorSylvio TabetStarsMarc SingerKari WuhrerSarah DouglasDar is a warrior who can talk to the beasts. He is forced to travel to Earth to stop his evil brother from stealing an atomic bomb and turning their native land from a desert into, well - a desert.Doctor Insano's Gaydar is in the #9 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.
- DirectorDavid MarshStarsJarrett ParkerMark GauthierBrendan Dillon Jr.A pair of sorcerer brothers from 10th-century England show up in modern-day California and wreak havoc.
- DirectorRichard GarriottStarsEric BrownRichard GarriottBill JohnsonThe Avatar travels to the strange Serpent Isle in search of a fleeing criminal.
- DirectorPhilippe MoraStarsJames CoburnBill HunterReb BrownBased on a true story, James Coburn portrays a military lawyer assigned to defend a confessed psychotic killer. Set in the context of WWII and the uneasy US-Australian military alliance. The accused killer claims to have killed 3 women in order to possess their voices. Despite the defense lawyer's concerns that the killer is not fit to stand trial, the US military presses forward with the case and its desire to have the killer executed in order to strengthen the shaky alliance. The real person who did this was Eddie Leonski.For Rebruary 2011.
- DirectorMotomu ToriyamaStarsHedy BurressTara StrongGwendoline YeoConvinced that Tidus is still alive, Yuna embarks on a quest to find him."Monkey!" is in the #3 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.
- StarsEdi PattersonKazuhiro YamajiYumi TômaA wealthy mogul organizes a world fighting tournament on an offshore Chinese island. His hated son in search for vengeance and a pair of cops investigating the real reason for holding the tournament, secretly join the fighters.For "The Month In Which I Review Shitty Movies Based on Fighting Games."
- DirectorDwight H. LittleStarsJon FooKelly OvertonCary-Hiroyuki TagawaJin Kazama witnesses the death of his mother Jun by Tekken in the slums known as Anvil. After finding a Tekken ID he decides to seek out vengeance for his mother's death.With Film Brain. For "The Month In Which I Review Shitty Movies Based on Fighting Games."
- DirectorGordon ChanStarsMaggie QSean FarisWill Yun LeeLive-action feature based on the video game "King of Fighters".For "The Month In Which I Review Shitty Movies Based on Fighting Games."
- DirectorCorey YuenStarsJaime PresslyDevon AokiSarah CarterThe world's best fighters are invited to DOA, an invitational martial arts contest. There, four female rival fighters will have to work together to uncover the secret that the organizer of the tournament is trying to hide.For "The Month In Which I Review Shitty Movies Based on Fighting Games."
The Ass Counter exploding is in the #8 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list. - DirectorOta RichterStarsDavid CalderisiWendy CrewsonThom HaverstockAn 80's classic where a game of Dungeons and Dragons is the centerpiece of a mystery. Adam is a man who happens to come from a long line of men cursed. He succumbs to the curse, and goes on a killing spree.Simcoe the Magician is in the #2 spot of the Top 11 Spoony Moments of 2011 list.
- DirectorSu-yong JeongUsing new technology, a crew consisting of Captain Chi, Nancy, and the robots Baipam and Diatron 5, is shrunken to microscopic size and injected into Ivy's body in order to defeat the invaders. Enlisting benevolent beings found inside Ivy's body, the crew prepares for an inner space battle that can decide the fate of the world.Aka "Diatron-5"
With Bennett the Sage - DirectorMike McShaffryStarsRob CorellBill JohnsonKeith KellyTrapped in another realm by the Guardian, the Avatar must survive the perils of this new world and find a way home.
- DirectorYoichi MoriStarsIsshin ChibaUnshô IshizukaYuki MatsuokaHigh school student Ling Xiaoyu is recruited by Anna Williams of G Corporation to transfer to Kyoto University and gather information on a student named Shin Kamiya.
- DirectorJason BourqueStarsWoody JeffreysDominika JuilletDoug AbrahamsWhen a super computer is linked to a video game network, a computer programmer who designed the game must enter the virtual reality world of his fantasies and defeat the computer before it causes a worldwide information crash.Aka "Game Over"
- DirectorRichard GarriottStarsJ.C. ShakespeareAudrey PetersonEv LunningThe Avatar returns to Britannia for his final adventure to face his nemesis one last time: the powerful Guardian...For a 3-part review.
"What's a paladin?" - DirectorGeorge KingStarsSteve BordenDonnie FallgatterLiz BylerSting (Steve Borden) captures the imagination of the wrestling world in a way that few have. This wrestling superstar has appeared to more than half a billion people worldwide in live and broadcast events, and his exploits in the ring with fellow wrestling stars like Hulk Hogan, Hall and Nash, Ric Flair, the Horsemen, Lex Luger and many others became legendary in the world of professional wrestling.With Diamanda Hagan
- DirectorAtsushi SuzukiStarsSoness StevensKevyn S. JohnsonJeffrey J. JohnstonSurvival horror game loosely based on the Japanese Ringu horror novel and movie series. In the near apocalyptic future, Meg investigates the mysterious death of her boyfriend, who worked for the Center for Disease Control.
- DirectorMotomu ToriyamaStarsAli HillisTroy BakerGeorgia Van CuylenburgIn a futuristic city, a group of adventurers must fight the government forces controlled by an alien force to stop its plan to destroy the world.For a 6-part review.
"You don't know yet?" - DirectorDavid A. PriorStarsReb BrownLeilani SarelleTed PriorA bloodthirsty Bigfoot, which kills without warning, is on a rampage. A strong, beautiful, woman shows up claiming to represent the Government and pushes the local Sheriff into hunting this creature.For Rebruary 2013.
WHERE'S FRANK STALLONE!? - DirectorTed KotcheffStarsGene HackmanPatrick SwayzeRobert StackTen years after his son went M.I.A. in Vietnam, U.S. Marine retired Colonel Jason Rhodes assembles a private rescue team to find Americans held in P.O.W. camps in Laos.For Rebruary 2013, with The Critical Marine.
- DirectorIgnazio DolceStarsReb BrownMichele DehneChuck ConnorsReb Brown stars as a highly trained DEA agent who goes to Southeast Asia on a high-risk mission to free a drug dealer (Mike Monty) from nasty terrorists so that he can face trial back in the U.S.For Rebruary 2013
- StarsClancy BrownQuinton FlynnDaran NorrisIn the future, where crimes can be predicted and thus non existent, police chief John Anderton must go on the run when he's predicted to murder a man.
- DirectorJohn T. BoneStarsFrank StalloneBrenda VaccaroDave AdamsA criminal mob hires a gang of thugs to subdue a small urban community, but the community decides to fight back.For Pre-Reburary 2014.
- DirectorJames QuinnStarsDon JohnsonPhilip Michael ThomasSaundra SantiagoA member of a violent biker gang is accidentally killed during a drug sting by Crockett. The other members of his biker gang avenge his death by killing everybody that may have been a part of it until they find the wire.For Rebruary 2014.
"...Hm." - 1977–19871hTV-G7.4 (111)TV EpisodeDirectorBob SweeneyStarsGavin MacLeodBernie KopellFred GrandyThinking she will die young, Harriet Rogers seeks a new mate for husband Harold. Isaac fears running into his high school teacher Mrs. Williams. A seal is jealous when her trainer Oscar Tilton and passenger Karen Hughes get acquainted.For Rebruary 2014.
- DirectorBJ DavisStarsWilliam KattRosalind ChaoMartin HewittAn M.I.A. US soldier nicknamed White Ghost lives in hiding in the jungles of communist Vietnam. The US army finds out about him and sends a black ops team to rescue him. However, the team is led by a man who wants White Ghost dead.For Rebruary 2014.
- 1995–199944mNot Rated6.6 (413)TV EpisodeDirectorBruce CampbellStarsKevin SorboMichael HurstReb BrownThe bodies of dead soldiers are disappearing from the battlefield, so Hercules tries to find out what is happening and reconcile Dalin and Poena.Hosted by Spoony's dog, Oreo, for April Fool's 2014.
- DirectorRuggero DeodatoStarsDavid PaulPeter PaulRichard LynchTwo twin barbarians seek revenge from the warlord who massacred their tribe and captured them when they were small children.For after the passing of The Ultimate Warrior.
- DirectorAlan GardnerRichard GarriottThe evil Black Knight steals the eight Runes of Virtue in order to bring chaos upon the world of Britannia, forcing Lord British to call upon the Avatar to retrieve them.
- DirectorAlan GardnerThe Black Knight returns, and kidnaps the mayors of the eight major cities of Britannia, forcing the Avatar to stop him once again.
- DirectorUwe BollStarsKristanna LokenBen KingsleyMichelle RodriguezIn the eighteenth century, a vampire escapes from the freak show, in which she once participated, and teams up with a group of vampire slayers to kill the man who raped her mother.With The Nostalgia Critic and Linkara.
Not realizing that water being harmful to vampires in both this movie and the games it's based on is in the #14 spot of the Another 15 Screw Ups of AT4W. - DirectorRene DaalderStarsDerrel MauryAndrew StevensRobert CarradineA high-school transfer student pushed to the edge by a trio of brutal bullies resorts to murder to reclaim the school from oppression, and later turns against the students wanting to fill the vacuum of their oppressors.For a 2-part review.
- DirectorJohn A. GallagherStarsSteve JamesReb BrownJohn LeguizamoLogan Blade is a tough ex police officer turned bounty hunter who has to confront a street gang led by young Angel and his ruthless bodyguard, Colonel Walsh.For Rebruary 2016.
- DirectorJun GallardoStarsReb BrownShannon TweedKahlena MarieAn American military advisor becomes disillusioned by the brutality and corruption of the Central American government which hired him. When his shift in sympathies becomes known, he's arrested and tortured but soon escapes, along with a beautiful American woman, in order to join the rebels.