The worst films I've ever seen...
The worst films I've had the misfortune to see. If you honestly think the likes of The Emoji Movie, Scary Movie V, Epic Movie or even Phantom Menace are the worst things ever made, then you have a lot to learn my friends...
This is an ongoing list, so more cinematic abortions will be added as and when I see them...
This is an ongoing list, so more cinematic abortions will be added as and when I see them...
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- DirectorHarold P. WarrenStarsTom NeymanJohn ReynoldsDiane AdelsonA family gets lost on the road and stumbles upon a hidden, underground, devil-worshiping cult led by the fearsome Master and his servant Torgo.
- DirectorRafael PortilloStarsRamón GayRosita ArenasCrox AlvaradoA mad doctor builds a robot in order to steal a valuable Aztec treasure from a tomb guarded by a centuries-old living mummy.
- DirectorColeman FrancisStarsDouglas MellorBarbara FrancisBing StaffordA defecting Soviet scientist is hit by a nuclear explosion near Yucca Flats and roams around as a beast.
- DirectorGus TrikonisStarsRoss HagenDiane McBainMichael PatakiMotorcycle racer Rommel seeks vengeance against JC, a madman who murdered the sidehacker's fiancee.
- DirectorNeil BreenStarsNeil BreenKlara LandratJennifer AutryA computer-scientist/novelist reunites with his childhood friend, hacks into government databases, and faces the dire and fateful consequences of the mystical actions he obtained as a child.
- DirectorRené CardonaStarsJosé Elías MorenoCesáreo Quezadas 'Pulgarcito'José Luis Aguirre 'Trotsky'With Merlin's aid, Santa Claus must defeat the evil machinations of the devil Pitch to ruin Christmas.
- DirectorNicholas WebsterStarsJohn CallLeonard HicksVincent BeckThe Martians kidnap Santa Claus because there is nobody on Mars to give their children presents.
- DirectorArch Hall Sr.StarsArch Hall Jr.Marilyn ManningRichard KielTeenagers stumble across a prehistoric caveman, who goes on a rampage.
- DirectorCharles B. GriffithStarsMel WellesBobby JacobyDavid CarradineThree kingdoms have been overtaken by three evil lords and only a teenage boy with magical powers can restore peace to the land.
- DirectorAntonio MargheritiStarsReb BrownCorinne CléryJohn SteinerA warrior seeks his true origins in a seemingly prehistoric wasteland.
- DirectorLamberto BavaStarsMichael SopkiwValentine MonnierGianni GarkoA marine biologist, a dolphin trainer, a research scientist, and a local sheriff try to hunt down a large sea monster, a shark/octopus hybrid, that is devouring swimmers and fishermen off a south Florida coast.
- DirectorFreddie FrancisStarsSuzanna LeighFrank FinlayGuy DolemanTrouble strikes when an exhausted pop singer, sent on a vacation to a farm, realizes that the farm's owner raises deadly bees.
- DirectorTommy WiseauStarsTommy WiseauJuliette DanielleGreg SesteroIn San Francisco, an amiable banker's seemingly perfect life is turned upside down when his deceitful fiancée embarks on an affair with his best friend.
- DirectorRick SloaneStarsTom BartlettPaige SullivanSteven BoggsA young security guard must track down diminutive aliens who kill people even as they make their fantasies come true.
- DirectorClaudio FragassoStarsMichael Paul StephensonGeorge HardyMargo PreyA vacationing family discovers that the entire town they're visiting is inhabited by goblins, disguised as humans, who plan to eat them.
- DirectorDavid WintersNeal SundstromStarsReb BrownJohn Phillip LawJames RyanA pilot is the only hope to stop the mutiny of a spacecraft by its security crew, who plot to sell the crew of the ship into slavery.
- DirectorAldo LadoEnzo G. CastellariStarsRichard KielCorinne CléryLeonard MannHoping to overthrow his brother as ruler, the evil Graal uses a chemical capable of turning the pilot Golob into a mindless but indestructible automaton possessing superhuman strength.
- DirectorDavid GiancolaStarsMatthew BruchBonnie PritchardPeter HarringtonAn inventor comes up with a time machine, but must prevent its abuse at the hands of an evil C.E.O.
- DirectorLee HarryStarsEric FreemanJames NewmanElizabeth KaitanThe now-adult Ricky talks to a psychiatrist about how he became a murderer after his brother, Billy, died, which leads back to Mother Superior.
- DirectorCiro IppolitoBiagio ProiettiStarsBelinda MayneMark BodinRoberto BarreseA spaceship lands back on Earth after a failed mission, but the astronauts have been replaced by hideous creatures that can penetrate people's bodies and make them explode. A group of cave explorers are attacked by the monsters inside an underground cave, but the survivors are in for a surprise when they finally manage to escape the trap...
- DirectorDavid WorthStarsJohn BarrowmanJenny McShaneRyan CutronaWhen two researchers discover a colossal shark's tooth off the Mexican coast, their worst fears surface: the most menacing beast to ever rule the waters is still alive and mercilessly feeding on anything that crosses its path.
- DirectorShane Van DykeStarsShane Van DykeMarie WestbrookBruce DavisonA century after the fateful voyage of the original, modern luxury liner Titanic II sets sail. Will this ship suffer the same fate as her namesake?
- DirectorHerb FreedStarsJohn SaxonLynda Day GeorgeMichael DanteAn architect and his wife move into a colonial mansion, where the demonic presence of the original owner's wife takes residence.
- DirectorRay KelloggStarsJames BestIngrid GoudeKen CurtisOn an isolated island, a small group of people are terrorized by giant voracious shrews in the midst of a hurricane.
- DirectorFred Olen RayStarsJo-Ann RobinsonRichard HenchRoger MaycockA group of archeological students venture on Indian land for a dig. Unfortunately, they release an evil spirit who possesses one of them and starts killing the others.
- DirectorJuan Piquer SimónStarsIan SerraNina FerrerSusana BequerA young boy in the woods discovers a lovable alien...or is it?
- DirectorJohn 'Bud' CardosStarsUrbano BarberiniRebecca FerrattiJack PalanceAn Earthman returns to the planet Gor, and fights against tyranny.
- DirectorMichael RaeStarsKim MilfordCheryl SmithGianni RussoA teenager stumbles upon an alien weapon, which transforms him into a grotesque killer.
- DirectorTjardus GreidanusStarsChristian MalcolmBruce J. MitchellShane MarceauFleeing from the cult that murdered his father, a teen is aided in his quest to find the lost city of the fabled Ziox by a secretive drifter.
- DirectorAlberto De MartinoStarsWalter George AltonDonald PleasenceMiguel Ángel FuentesThousands of years ago, aliens visited Earth and fathered the Pumaman, a man-god with supernatural powers entrusted by a gold mask with the ability to control people's minds, which in present-day London, falls upon the wrong hands.
- DirectorFranz Peter WirthStarsMaximilian SchellHans CaninenbergWanda RothaHamlet, Prince of Denmark, returns home to find his father murdered and his mother remarrying the murderer, his uncle.
- DirectorAndrew V. McLaglenStarsJoe Don BakerMartin BalsamJohn SaxonA tough, slobby, honest cop tries to simultaneously take down heroin dealers and a corrupt businessman who murdered a burglar, even if it costs him his life.
- DirectorSteve BinderDavid AcombaStarsMickey MortonPatty MaloneyPaul GaleChewbacca and Han Solo try to get to the Wookiee homeworld of Kashyyyk to celebrate Life Day, but are impeded by an Imperial blockade. Chewie's family passes the time with various forms of entertainment.
- DirectorLuigi CozziStarsMarjoe GortnerCaroline MunroChristopher PlummerAn outlaw smuggler and her alien companion are recruited by the Emperor of the Galaxy to rescue his son and destroy a secret weapon by the evil Count Zarth Arn.
- DirectorPeter GeorgeStarsGail NeelyRobert HardenBarry BrennerWhen the son of a gun-wielding woman is murdered by neo-Nazi surf punks in the post-apocalyptic future, his Mama hunts them down for some bloodthirsty revenge.
- DirectorJoe TornatoreStarsLinda BlairTab HunterDonna WilkesA gang of crazed punks breaks into a family's vacation home in the mountains and slaughters the entire family, except for one daughter who gets away.
- DirectorGodfrey HoStarsCynthia RothrockDon NiamJohn MillerKristi Jones (Cynthia Rothrock) avenges her sister's death at the hands of a crazed martial arts rapist.
- DirectorAmir ShervanStarsRobert Z'DarMathew KaredasJanis FarleyJoe Marshall and Frank Washington are two tenacious police detectives who seek at all costs to stop the Katana, a renegade Yakuza gang composed of violent and sadistic killers who want to lead the drug trade in Los Angeles.
- DirectorHoward R. CohenStarsVince EdwardsDavid MendenhallPatsy PeaseA futuristic, sensitive tale of adventure and confrontation when a 10 year old boy is accidentally kidnapped by a spaceship filled with a motley crew of space pirates.
- DirectorGregory HatanakaStarsMathew KaredasMark FrazerBai LingIt's 25 years later, and police detective Frank Washington is forced to team up again with his long estranged partner Joe Marshall to investigate a series of assassinations, in a case with ingredients they could never have imagined.
- DirectorHéctor OliveraAlan HollebStarsBo SvensonVidal PetersonThom ChristopherWhen evil screams throughout the world. When all the galaxies converge. When all that's fair and fine seems lost. A Hero will emerge.
- DirectorJ. Robert WagonerStarsRudy Ray MooreCarol SpeedJimmy LynchRudy Ray Moore's fourth in a series of cult favorites finds him playing an ex-cop called back into action to stop an angel dust producer. The angel dust hallucinations alone are well worth the price of admission!
- DirectorAndy SidarisStarsRonn MossDona SpeirHope Marie CarltonIn Hawaii, an undercover DEA agent and her civilian friend stumble upon a drug trafficking operation, and have to enlist the help of all their colleagues/friends to go after the vicious drug kingpin.
- DirectorJun FukudaYoshimitsu BannoIshirô HondaStarsKatsuhiko SasakiHiroyuki KawaseYutaka HayashiMegalon, the monster god of the vengeful underground kingdom of Seatopia, is aided by Gigan in attacking the surface world, until android Jet Jaguar teams up with Godzilla to fight them.
- DirectorÇetin InançStarsSerdar KebapçilarFiliz TaçbasTugrul MeteerA Turkish commando must infiltrate and capture a group of terrorists living in the mountains.
- DirectorFred F. SearsStarsJeff MorrowMara CordayMorris AnkrumGlobal panic ensues when it is revealed that a mysterious UFO is actually a giant bird that flies at supersonic speed and has no regard for life or architecture.
- DirectorMenahem GolanStarsFranco NeroSusan GeorgeShô KosugiAfter passing a ninja master test in Japan, Cole visits a war buddy in the Philippines. He helps him fight men, who want his buddy's plantation.
- DirectorPeter JacksonStarsDanny MulheronDonna AkerstenStuart DevenieMultiple animals and insects experience the sleazier side of show business while working on a variety show.
- DirectorJack BravmanJohn FasanoStarsAdam WestJon Mikl ThorTia CarrereA mother resorts to voodoo to get back at those who killed her son.