Top 30 Worst Episodes of Married... With Children
These would be my picks for the worst episodes of Married... With Children, respectively. They encompass most of the show's points of weakness, which were pretty much all the episodes that concentrated on sports as a primary source of laugh factor or an attempt at sports trivia. Not everyone is a fan of sports so these episodes are quite lame, to say the least. The other episodes that are in this list are the very lame traveling ones which had weak endings and even weaker connections. Also, each of these episodes does not have a nice connective plot point for a finely suited ending theme, which is contrary to the very good episodes of the series. Most of these just end rather random and without much meaning. These are also the least funniest episodes for the actual writing. I also crafted a list of the episodes that were quite the opposite and were extremely enjoyable, but this list concentrates on those that weren't as entertaining.
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- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl is cut from the neighborhood softball team just before the big game. When his all-star replacement is knocked out in the last inning, however, his team and family have to come crawling back.
- DirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhen Major League Baseball goes on a strike, NO MA'AM organizes their own league sponsored by nude bars.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAfter the funeral of a former football teammate at the Bullpen Sports Bar, an old rival, named Jack Franklin, challenges Al and his former team from Polk High into a grudge football match between them. But Al ends up being turned into a tackling dummy by ringers Bubba Smith, Laurence Taylor, Ken Stabler and John Reynolds on the opposing team.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseLower Uncton, England 1653-- Seamus McBundy makes the mistake of insulting a witch who casts an evil spell upon the land, shading the town in darkness forever--as long as a male Bundy lives. In present day, 1992 Lower Uncton, still in darkness, the townspeople have successfully killed all male Bundy descendants of Shamus McBundy, except for Al and Bud. The head of the historical society, Winston, and his cohort Igor, conspire to lure the Bundys to England and dispose of them, ending the curse. But getting them to Lower Uncton would be easier said than done.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.4 (600)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseThe Bundys delight in their comped trip to England, spending here, spending there. All the while, the town of Upper Uncton conspires to kill the Bundys outside Lower Uncton, so the curse will remain and Upper Uncton can still rake in profits as a tourist town: the town beside the town in darkness. Finally, Winston and Igor bring the Bundys to Lower Uncton. The execution was imminent. Al and Bud would meet certain doom. Their only hope (unfortunately) was Kelly.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.3 (589)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseThe Bundys are cornered by both towns. Upper Uncton wants them dead so they can continue to profit as a tourist trap while Lower Uncton wants them dead so they can end the curse. Al moves to defend himself and soon finds himself in a medieval joust opposite Igor. Who will emerge triumphant? And will the curse ever be lifted? The fate of all rests in the hands of the lowly shoe salesman from America.
- 1987–19971hTV-PG7.4 (807)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAfter a hair-raising encounter with the maniac, Al decides to get the family out of town. But they realize that they are trapped at the motel by a storm and the locals are unwilling to help them. Then things take a turn when Peggy is taken hostage by the ax murderer in a room and Al must rescue her.
- 1987–19971hTV-PG7.6 (844)TV EpisodeDirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonThe Bundys take a vacation to near-beautiful Dumpwater, Florida and stay in a cut-rate motel where an ax murderer that hates tourists, shows up every five years since 1967, and redneck locals begin to make bets on who the psycho will strike next.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhile on their way to Los Angeles for a "Shoe Convention," the Bundy's car breaks down in the small town of Lucifer, New Mexico where they meet an old prospector who gives them a map to an old gold mine in the area in exchange for their car. They phone Marcy and Jefferson who come to the rescue, thinking that the kids are dying. But it turns out that Al and Peggy want their money for the mine deal. Then the six of them go off in search for the gold...
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl, Peggy, Kelly, Bud, Jefferson, and Marcy find the gold mine in the desert. Al discovers the first gold nugget and everyone but the feeble-minded Kelly winds up with a bag full of gold. Al and Peggy have two separate fantasies of how to spend it. But after three days of digging, it's revealed that they're stuck in a tourist attraction seeded with fools gold for the tourists to find. The Bundys and D'Arcys aren't pleased with this turn of events, until they notice the gold watches, rings, and earrings the tourists are wearing...
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseThe Bundys suddenly have another mouth to feed when Peggy's cousin Zemus and his wife Ida Mae leave behind their 6-year-old son Seven after a quick visit. Peggy, the only one little Seven captivates, sees him as her chance to be a "great mother," or at least try.
- DirectorLinda DayStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAl's quiet three-day weekend plans to watch his favorite John Wayne movie "Hondo" are ruined when Peggy's eccentric relatives come to visit the Bundy household. They include her unseen, obese mother, two feuding uncles; the hulking Irwin and the effeminate Otto, as well as a singing and dancing triplet of aunts whose showbiz career is threatened by Al's bad advice to them. Al then interrupts and ruins a romantic evening between Steve and Marcy to confide with his problems.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl dreams he's a detective on the verge of a big case.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.8 (695)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonPeggy stands to lose the crown to Connie, until Al finally decides to stand up to Connie's husband Jack. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly crash the party to pig out on some real food since they are never fed at home, where Peggy takes advantage of the fight between Al and Jack outside to get the kids help in rigging the election.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.6 (692)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonPeggy spends $2,800 of Al's hard earned money ($2,000 on phone bills, $500 on a new dress, and $300 on makeup) when she decides to attend hers and Al's high school reunion dance at Polk High, where Peggy makes a desperate effort to get herself elected prom queen. But she may be outdone by her old rival, Connie Bender. Also, Connie's husband, Jack, an old rival of Al's, eyes a possible fistfight they never had in school.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhen his paycheck is taken by bill collectors, Al decides to do something with his non-life: he enters a shoe selling contest and wins. The prize is a first class ticket to Hawaii which the family turns into four stand-by's. After dumping Seven off with the D'Arcys, the Bundys travel to Chicago's O'Hare Airport where in an surprising twist, Al masquerades as an aging rock star, named 'Axl Bundy' from the group 'Shoes N' Socks' in which they hob-nob into the first class lounge with six famous musicians, Richie Havens, Spencer Davis, John Sebastian, Robby Krieger, Peter Noone, and Mark Lindsay.
- 1987–199722mTV-PG7.5 (524)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseWhen another complaint from a fat woman at the shoe store results in Al losing his parking space and being reprimanded not to insult anymore fat women, he, Jefferson and the rest of his mens club NO MA'AM seek out a legendary guru macho man to teach them how to battle political correctness. Meanwhile, Peggy, Kelly, and Bud hide a secret refrigerator full of food from Al.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.7 (644)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonWith Al and the kids discovering that Peggy took all the money, they go to Vegas where both Peggy and Marcy are broke and need a way to come up with money.
- 1987–199722mTV-PG7.5 (626)TV EpisodeDirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonAfter Steve abandons Marcy, Peggy decides to make her feel better by going to Las Vegas with Al's money.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalDavid GarrisonA young football player, named Matt, from Polk High where Kelly and Bud go to school is threatening two Bundy records. One held by Al for the most touchdowns in one season, and the other by Kelly for refusing her advances. So, Kelly resorts to becoming a cheerleader for Polk High's team in order to catch Matt's attention during a big season ending game.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAfter being plagued by nightmares of feet a beautiful woman asks Al to judge a contest at Gary's, whose contestants she, "could never compete with." Meanwhile Kelly tricks Marcy and Bud into thinking they've slept together.
- DirectorSam W. OrenderStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl opposes a forced car pooling until he learns that three lingerie models are in the group, only to discover the models are full-figured. Al and his group are then chosen to promote a campaign by the local health board to appear in commercial advertisements to clean up over-polluted Chicago; but, when Al and the ladies are asked to picket outside a chemical plant where Kelly works as the Verminator spokesmodel, Al must decide whether or not to help close down the plant and make Kelly lose her job or give up his fame and fortune. Meanwhile, no one seems to care after Bud announces that he has made the Dean's List at college.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl is asked to appear in an athletic shoe commercial. Al, being Polk High's 1966 all city running back and shoe salesman, is glad to reclaim his glory days. But he ends up being a punching bag by Ed "Too Tall" Jones, Steve Carlton, and Sugar Ray Leonard for the commercial.
- 1987–199723mTV-PG7.5 (560)TV EpisodeDirectorAmanda BearseStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAl decides that another Bundy must get a job and the ax falls on Kelly. This breaks Peggy's heart since no Wanker woman has ever worked before. After taking a job at a greasy spoon diner, Kelly must experience the wonderful world of waitressing prior to her true calling as Kelly Bundy: Philosopher/Waitress.
- DirectorGerry CohenStarsEd O'NeillKatey SagalAmanda BearseAfter Al passes for a senior citizen to get into the movies cheap he worries that he's getting old. He then starts acting old but a senior decathlon brings him back to life.