1985 Ranked Films
The ranked list of 1985 films that I have seen so far.
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- DirectorJohn HughesStarsEmilio EstevezJudd NelsonMolly RingwaldFive high school students meet in Saturday detention and discover how they have a great deal more in common than they thought.10/10
Crafted by a John Hughes at the height of his teen movie prowess, The Breakfast Club is a profound, sharp and often compelling bottle feature with a stellar cast. - DirectorTerry GilliamStarsJonathan PryceKim GreistRobert De NiroA bureaucrat in a dystopic society becomes an enemy of the state as he pursues the woman of his dreams.10/10
Aesthetically bizarre only the way Terry Gilliam knows how, Brazil is dystopian science-fiction with a twist of delectable satire that is ripe for intellectual unpacking. - DirectorJonathan LynnStarsEileen BrennanTim CurryMadeline KahnSix guests are anonymously invited to a strange mansion for dinner, but after their host is killed, they must cooperate with the staff to identify the murderer as the bodies pile up.10/10
Non-stop humor defying what board game adaptations can aspire to be, Clue is rounded out by a dynamite cast that misses nary an opportunity to shine. - DirectorRobert ZemeckisStarsMichael J. FoxChristopher LloydLea ThompsonMarty McFly, a 17-year-old high school student, is accidentally sent 30 years into the past in a time-traveling DeLorean invented by his close friend, the maverick scientist Doc Brown.10/10
Writer-director Robert Zemeckis inventing a time-travel tale for the ages, Back to the Future is a thoroughly invigorating and smart 80s marvel featuring a perfectly cast Michael J. Fox. - DirectorSteven SpielbergStarsDanny GloverWhoopi GoldbergOprah WinfreyA tale spanning forty years in the life of Celie, an African-American woman living in the South who survives incredible abuse and bigotry.9/10
While not always easy to watch, The Color Purple is a worthy adaptation of the novel with a grounded cast and a reliably effective Steven Spielberg. - DirectorJoel CoenEthan CoenStarsJohn GetzFrances McDormandDan HedayaThe owner of a seedy small-town Texas bar discovers that one of his employees is having an affair with his wife. A chaotic chain of misunderstandings, lies, and mischief ensues after he devises a plot to have them murdered.9/10
Living up to the latter half of its title with slow-burning tension, Blood Simple is a telling debut for the Coen Brothers. - DirectorDan O'BannonStarsClu GulagerJames KarenDon CalfaWhen two bumbling employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly gas into the air, the vapors cause the dead to rise again as zombies.9/10
Putting the brains back into zombie movies, The Return of the Living Dead has endless fun with the genre. - DirectorTim BurtonStarsPaul ReubensElizabeth DailyMark HoltonWhen eccentric man-child Pee-wee Herman gets his beloved bike stolen in broad daylight, he sets out across the U.S. on the adventure of his life.8/10
Featuring a charmingly effervescent performance from Paul Reubens as the titular character, Pee-wee's Big Adventure marks a distinctive debut for director Tim Burton. - DirectorTom HollandStarsChris SarandonWilliam RagsdaleAmanda Bearse"Fright Night" sees a teenager believing that the newcomer in his neighborhood is a vampire. He turns to an actor in a television hosted horror movie show for help to deal with the undead.8/10
Wonderfully spooky and witty, Fright Night constructs a tremendous sense of atmosphere and mood that takes a simple horror construct and brings it to life. - DirectorStuart GordonStarsJeffrey CombsBruce AbbottBarbara CramptonAfter an odd new medical student arrives on campus, a dedicated local and his girlfriend become involved in bizarre experiments centering around the re-animation of dead tissue.8/10
Doing well to honor its literary forebears, Re-Animator has a tremendous sense of momentum as it realizes its grotesquely schlocky potential. - DirectorGeorge MillerGeorge OgilvieStarsMel GibsonTina TurnerBruce SpenceAfter being exiled from the most advanced town in post apocalyptic Australia, a drifter travels with a group of abandoned children to rebel against the town's queen.8/10
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is a curiously tamer followup for the franchise, but some more dynamic world-building and plenty of thrills should satisfy fans all the same. - DirectorGeorge A. RomeroStarsLori CardilleTerry AlexanderJoseph PilatoAs the world is overrun by zombies, a group of scientists and military personnel sheltering in an underground bunker in Florida must decide on how they should deal with the undead horde.8/10
Finding new ways to inject the zombie apocalypse with fresh social commentary, Day of the Dead may not be as visceral as its predecessors but it’s exciting all the same. - DirectorLewis TeagueStarsDrew BarrymoreJames WoodsAlan KingA stray cat is the linking element of three tales of suspense and horror.7/10
While never wholly captivating, Cat's Eye is a Stephen King anthology that manages to have a certain amount of fun with each entry. - DirectorNicolas RoegStarsGary BuseyTony CurtisTheresa RussellFour 1950s icons meet in the same hotel room and two of them discover more in common between them than they ever anticipated.7/10
Hardly subtle, Insignificance does find plenty to say on the nature of fame and identity to the point that its lifting of 50s iconography becomes charming. - DirectorRichard DonnerStarsSean AstinJosh BrolinJeff CohenA group of young misfits called The Goonies discover an ancient map and set out on an adventure to find a legendary pirate's long-lost treasure.6/10
The Goonies owes a lot to adventure romps that came before it, but it can’t be denied its tenacious spirit and pervasive ethos. - DirectorTed BermanRichard RichStarsGrant BardsleyFreddie JonesSusan SheridanA young boy and a group of misfit friends embark on a quest to find a dark magic item of ultimate power before a diabolical tyrant can.6/10
Though perhaps too dark for younger viewers, The Black Cauldron as a starkly alternative Disney offering is visually resplendent and emotionally engaging. - DirectorSydney PollackStarsMeryl StreepRobert RedfordKlaus Maria BrandauerIn 20th-century colonial Kenya, a Danish baroness/plantation owner has a passionate love affair with a free-spirited big-game hunter.6/10
Out of Africa is as eminently acted and gorgeously shot as a period piece of its caliber should be, even if the end result is far too sleepy. - DirectorLawrence KasdanStarsKevin KlineScott GlennKevin CostnerA misfit bunch of friends comes together to right the injustices which exist in a small town.5/10
While expressing plenty of reverence for old-timey westerns, Silverado finds itself creatively inept as it adds nothing new to the conversation. - DirectorJack SholderStarsRobert EnglundMark PattonKim MyersA teenage boy is haunted in his dreams by deceased child murderer Freddy Krueger, who is out to possess him in order to continue his reign of terror in the real world.5/10
There are some pretty ingenious undertones introduced to the slasher genre, however A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge lacks the conviction to capitalize on them nor a sense of atmosphere. - DirectorGeorge P. CosmatosStarsSylvester StalloneRichard CrennaCharles NapierRambo returns to the jungles of Vietnam on a mission to infiltrate an enemy base-camp and rescue the American POWs still held captive there.4/10
Eschewing the first film’s sociological smarts with nonstop carnage, Rambo: First Blood Part II has entertaining action but falls short when it comes to progressing the character. - DirectorAmy HeckerlingStarsChevy ChaseBeverly D'AngeloDana HillThe Griswolds win a vacation tour across Europe where the usual havoc ensues.4/10
Emulating the formula established by its originator only with an international angle, National Lampoon’s European Vacation has nothing but diminishing returns to offer. - DirectorRidley ScottStarsTom CruiseMia SaraTim CurryA young man must stop the Lord of Darkness from destroying daylight and marrying the woman he loves.4/10
Ridley Scott's Legend is appropriately dark and stylish, but it wants for conviction when it really counts. - DirectorSylvester StalloneStarsSylvester StalloneTalia ShireBurt YoungRocky Balboa proudly holds the world heavyweight boxing championship, but a new challenger has stepped forward: Drago, a six-foot-four, 261-pound fighter who has the backing of the Soviet Union.3/10
Rocky IV wants to be more rousing and cathartic than any other before it, but it’s too contrived and jingoistic to stay in the ring for long. - DirectorWalter MurchStarsFairuza BalkNicol WilliamsonJean MarshDorothy, saved from a psychiatric experiment by a mysterious girl, is somehow called back to Oz when a vain witch and the Nome King destroy everything that makes the magical land beautiful.3/10
Some inspired effects work notwithstanding, Return to Oz is a decidedly dark and far less enchanting visit to the Emerald City. - DirectorJohn HughesStarsAnthony Michael HallIlan Mitchell-SmithKelly LeBrockTwo high-school nerds use a computer program to literally create the perfect woman, who promptly turns their lives upside-down.3/10
While Weird Science certainly fits within other teen comedies of the era, John Hughes's untapped zaniness in penning the screenplay makes genuine laughs sparse. - DirectorJeannot SzwarcStarsDudley MooreJohn LithgowDavid HuddlestonThe legend of Santa Claus is put in jeopardy when an unscrupulous toy manufacturer attempts to take over Christmas.2/10
About as foundational as its title would suggest, Santa Claus: The Movie has the appropriate amount of spirit but squanders it on a questionable storyline and conflicting objectives. - DirectorWes CravenStarsRobert HoustonDavid NicholsVirginia VincentA group of bikers, heading to a race, become stranded in the desert and find themselves fighting off a family of inbred cannibals who live off the land.2/10
Opting to be another generic slasher movie clone in lieu of its exploitation roots, The Hills Have Eyes Part II finds Wes Craven's return to the desert severely underwhelming. - DirectorJerry ParisJames SignorelliStarsSteve GuttenbergBubba SmithDavid GrafWhen a new gang moves into town it's up to the screwball police team to stop them.2/10
Somehow with even less of a plot stringing its series of lame gags together, Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment should've been their last. - DirectorMichael SchultzStarsTaimakVanityChristopher MurneyIn New York City, a young man searches for a Master to obtain the final level of martial arts mastery known as the Glow.2/10
Going deep into camp but never resurfacing on the other side, The Last Dragon and its wooden acting has more moments of unintentional hilarity than excitement. - DirectorDanny SteinmannStarsMelanie KinnamanJohn ShepherdAnthony BarrileStill haunted by his past, Tommy Jarvis, who, as a child, killed Jason Voorhees, is sent to a secluded halfway house in the countryside, where the killing of a young man triggers a brutal series of murders in the area.1/10
Trying to take the series in an alternate direction but spurning hardcore fans in the process, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning is rarely scary or entertaining. - DirectorLarry CohenStarsMichael MoriartyAndrea MarcovicciGarrett MorrisA delicious, mysterious goo that oozes from the earth is marketed as the newest dessert sensation, but the tasty treat rots more than teeth when zombie-like snackers who only want to consume more of the strange substance at any cost begin infesting the world.1/10
Despite going for a satirical edge, The Stuff remains so campily written and filmed that it will make viewers say enough is enough.