- [on his character "The Pub Landlord"] The thing is, the older I get the more I agree with him. There is that thing that once you've had children you instantly become more right-wing. I think the Landlord must have had about a thousand children to be that right-wing.
- Find out what happens next in Jamaica Inn (2014) by getting your ears syringed!
- For many Southerners growing up, Jimmy Savile was the first inkling they had of the North.
- [on one of his drumming idols, Phil Collins] He can play anything, he can play your soul music, your prog music, your jazz music, your fusion. He can play it.
- I don't know why there is a stigma about liking Genesis.
- [Panel Show, in character] I'm here representing the average, NORMAL, British person who's in favour of stringing up anyone who wants to work with children just in case!
- We British are the most sensible, normal, down to Earth people INNA WORRRLD!
- So, what is the setup to the punchline of appearing next to Nigel Farage as he crapped out on his fifth, yes, his fifth attempt to get into Parliament?
- Unemployment causes Crime? I propose we lock up the Unemployed!
- [Graduate Trainee] I got rid of him by telling the regulars he was a bedwetter. I wasn't proud of it, but it worked.
- It's dispiriting meeting a young Communist, and I barely had the heart to ask him how he expected to get laid.
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