On Pete Sampras's retirement: He's doomed to spend the rest
of his days with a neck-snapping blonde and a gorgeous son in a hilltop
palace with nothing to do but find new and creative ways to blow his
career winnings of $43 million.
...Nebraska, a place so flat you could watch your dog run away for
three days.
(On baseball) "It's about as fast-paced and thrilling as an Amish
prom."