- Well, all the guys want to have sex with me all the time. Every day I come to work it's nonstop sexual harassment. They had to have some people from General Electric come down and talk to us about it. There's a lawsuit that's about to happen. But other than that, it's been great. - on being one of only 2 female writers on a staff of 14 for The Office (2005)
- I want it both ways. David Brent wants to run with the foxes and hunt with the hounds. And I definitely feel that way, too.
- [from Twitter] My heart wants white jeans but my head says no. Kidney says go for it, spleen is ambivalent. Ovaries say no comment, rather rudely actually.
- As a kid it's adorable to have a gap in your teeth. But then, because of the shifting in my mouth, I started whistling through it, and as a 32-year-old woman, whistling while you speak in sort of annoying.
- I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else, because most of the time everyone is stressed out.
- Most people want to ask about my size and how brave I am. I'm like, 'I'm not brave, I'm just not really skinny.'"
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