- You have to work a bit harder to offend me because I'm from the home of some of the best racism in the world. I'm a snob when it comes to racism.
- I never thought I'd be more afraid of police in America than in South Africa. It kind of makes me a little nostalgic for the old days back home.
- Now I wonder if somebody went to jail because a witness was 'sure' that the criminal was wearing 'white and gold. (On the controversy surrounding #TheDress)
- If this comedy thing doesn't work out, I've always got poverty to fall back on.
- Looking at how successful all the Kardashian women are, I don't blame Bruce Jenner at all. (On Bruce Jenner's gender reassignment)
- You know what African mothers tell their children every day? 'Be grateful for what you have. Because there are fat children starving in Mississippi.
- Does America really need to the best at everything? You already dominate the world in economics, military power and obesity.
- When flying over the middle of America, the turbulence is so bad. It's like all the ignorance is rising through the air.
- As a comedian, I'm forced to have a tough skin. Until people laugh, they are detractors. You walk into a new audience where nobody knows you, they go: 'Make us laugh. Show us what you're made of. Prove why we should be listening to you'.
- [ on succeeding Jon Stewart on 'The Daily Show'] It's my turn to steer the ship.
- Thank you for joining us as we continue the war on bullshit.
- [detecting in Donald Trump personality traits associated with Idi Amin, Robert Mugabe, and Muammar Gaddafi] Donald Trump is presidential. He just happens to be running on the wrong continent.
- [on the backlash he received after he took over The Daily Show] I had people - you know, people who are Democrats, fans of the old show - saying things like, 'Go back to Djibouti, we want Jon Stewart back.' I knew liberal hatred existed, but I didn't think it would come to me. I had to quell that feeling that people have lost what is theirs.
- [when he first took over The Daily Show and on the unexpected liberal hatred he received] ] It is probably the biggest challenge that I've been working toward my entire life without even realizing it. I'm in a position where you are fundamentally against what many people believe.
- [on working in non biracial atmospheres with the interviewer] Part of the job was to help people see that you have a bit of that color in yourself, he told the newspaper. Hey, there's a bit of you in me. I'm not coming from a world where I don't see you. If you look carefully, you'll see yourself in me and what I'm saying.
- [on hosting 'The Daily Show', 2015] When I started, there was a lot of criticism around me not being angry. But what was there to be angry about? Progress was being made. Unemployment was dropping. Gay people were getting marriage equality. I refuse to be part of an outrage machine. And then Donald Trump came along.
- Donald Trump is weird-looking!
- [on Joe Biden] Ever since you've come into office, things are really looking up. Gas is up. Rent is up. Food is up. Everything.
- [ announcing leaving The Daily Show] I just found myself filled with gratitude for the journey. It's been absolutely amazing. It's something that I never expected. And I found myself thinking, throughout the time, you know, everything we've gone through. The Trump presidency, the pandemic. Just the journey of, you know, the more pandemic. And I realized that after the seven years, my time is up
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