Sidewalks of New York (1931)

Buster Keaton: Harmon

Photos 

Quotes 

• Judge : Mr. Harmon, are you hard of hearing?

  Harmon : Were you speaking to me?

  Judge : YES! ARE YOU HARD OF HEARING?

  Harmon : No, are you?

• Bailiff : [very quickly]  DoYouSwearToTellTheTruth,AndNothingButTheTruth,SoHelpYouGod?

  Harmon : ...Huh?

  Bailiff : DoYouSwearToTellTheTruth,AndNothingButTheTruth,SoHelpYouGod?

  Judge : Answer him?

  Bailiff : DoYouSwearToTellTheTruth,AndNothingButTheTruth,SoHelpYouGod?

  Harmon : No.

  Judge : What?

  Harmon : I can't understand a thing he's saying!

  Judge : He's asking if you swear...

  Harmon : No, but I know all the words.

• Harmon : Is he driving in the street?

  Poggle : Yes and he's a very good driver. He drove a tank in the war.

  Harmon : Well, the war's over and I'm no tank!

• Harmon : There should be a law against this!

  Poggle : Well, there is one, but, you'd never know it.

• Harmon : [after being knocked out by Margie]  Oh, do you believe in love at first sight?

  Margie : Scram! You big lug!

• Judge : Were you or were you not attacked by this boy, before me?

  Harmon : Before you? When'd he attack you?

  Judge : Were you attacked by this boy in front of me!

  Harmon : Where were you standing?

  Judge : Stop evading the the question!

• Margie : You lay a hand on my brother and I'll mop up the sidewalk with you!

  Harmon : Well, he slapped your face.

  Margie : Well, it's my face, ain't it!

  Harmon : Well, I didn't know you liked it.

• Harmon : I'm gonna come down here and see how you people live.

  Margie : Well, we ain't no zoo!

• Harmon : I want to do somethin' for these kids down here.

  Margie : Say, I've met your kind before and you're too polite to be up to any good.

• Margie : Oh, the duck looks beautiful!

  Harmon : Oh, and so do you.

• Poggle : Haven't you got about enough now?

  Harmon : Margie doesn't come to dinner every night.

  Poggle : Well, what are you gonna do? Feed her Phonograph records?

• Poggle : What's the matter with you? Are you delirious?

  Harmon : No.

  Poggle : Well, why don't you marry the girl then and get her off of your mind.

  Harmon : Oh, that's what I want to do.

• Harmon : [Recording his marriage proposal to Margie, Harmon doesn't know how to start; so, Poggle shows him a series of Sheet Music. Harmon reads and records the song titles]  My Fate is in your hands - You brought a new kind of love to me - You're driving me crazy - If I had a girl like you - I'd climb the highest mountain - My one and only - I want to make you mine - Body and soul - Till the sands of the desert grow cold - What'll I do

  [Poogle next shows him the sheet music to "Yes! We have no bananas"] 

  Harmon : I'd like to kick you right in the pants.

  Poggle : Now, here's your proposal, see. Tonight, when the lights are low and Margie's up to your house, play that for her on the phonograph.

• Margie : Gee, what a swell joint this is.

  Harmon : Joint?

  Margie : [Looks up at the crystal chandelier]  Ain't that the berry!

  Harmon : Berry?

  Margie : Say, how long have you had this dump?

• Harmon : There's a man undressing a girl in a Chevrolet.

  Poggle : He'd have a tougher time in an Austin.