Penguin Pool Murder (1932)
James Gleason: Oscar Piper
Quotes
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Oscar Piper : Oh, Hello Miss Withers, what's on your chest?
Hildegard Withers : None of your business.
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Oscar Piper : It takes a certain type to be a detective.
Hildegard Withers : Well, I've noticed that.
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Oscar Piper : Miss Withers, you took the very words right out of my mouth.
Hildegard Withers : Don't worry, you'll have plenty left.
Oscar Piper : And if I haven't, you've got a couple!
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[last lines]
Oscar Piper : Phooey! What's good looks got to do with romance?
Hildegard Withers : Young man, have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror?
Oscar Piper : Sure; have you?
Hildegard Withers : I was in hopes you wouldn't bring that up.
Oscar Piper : All right, so what? I'm convinced that you and me should incorporate.
Hildegard Withers : Are you proposing that we start a detective bureau?
Oscar Piper : No, I'm just proposing. What are you doing?
Hildegard Withers : Well, uh, well, I'm just accepting.
Oscar Piper : OK. The license bureau closes in fifteen minutes. Come on.
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Oscar Piper : [Hovering over Parker's dead body] It looks to me like a clear case of homicide.
Hildegard Withers : Heh! I realized that a half hour ago. That's why I had one of my students call the police, hmmm?
Oscar Piper : [Sarcastically] I'm surprised you thought the police necessary.
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Oscar Piper : [In the aquarium] What are you doin' hangin' around this fish house?
Barry Costello : Well, it's Friday, isn't it?
Oscar Piper : It isn't Friday for wisecracks!
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Oscar Piper : If that penguin could talk I bet he'd tell us who the murderer was.
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Oscar Piper : [after discovering Donovan unconcious in the men's bathroom] Well?
Donovan : Uh, I was just sitting there and something hit me on the head.
Oscar Piper : [Sarcastically] It's a good thing it was your head!
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Oscar Piper : You do alright by yourself in the way of vittels, don't you?
Hildegard Withers : I suppose you thought school teachers lived on chalk and old blotting paper.
Oscar Piper : Well to be frank, I never gave it much thought what school teachers did.
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Hildegard Withers : All you're after is a conviction, anybody's conviction. I never saw such a man!
Oscar Piper : How many men have you seen?
Hildegard Withers : Plenty of them.
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Oscar Piper : Some kid called up and said there was a dead man in swimmin' with the ducks.
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Hildegard Withers : I'd never trust a man who was a penguin fancier.
Oscar Piper : Well, I wouldn't want to live with one if he kept bringing them home with him.
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Hildegard Withers : Did you notice Gwen Parker's, eh, legs, Inspector?
Oscar Piper : Who didn't it!
Hildegard Withers : I mean her stockings. They both have stains on them.
Oscar Piper : Stains? Good, I'll look into that.
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Hildegard Withers : Oh, if you want us to hit on anything more, just let me know.
Oscar Piper : Oh, come on back, Miss Withers. I think maybe we can get together on something at that.
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Oscar Piper : Well, I'll be a so-and-so.
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Hildegard Withers : I'm not the emotional type, Mr. Piper, but even you must get a little thrill, out of the thought, that we, you and I, helped those young people to this happiness.
Oscar Piper : [Looking out a window at Philip Seymour slap Gwen Parker in the face] That a boy! That baby's had that coming to her for a long time.