- Narrator: And that, my friends, is decidedly that. They can do more things with a pigskin than a Chinese cook with a whole side of pork.
- [first lines]
- Narrator: Greetings, fellow football fanatics. Open your big brown eyes and get a load of the world's greatest assortment of powerful, perilous, pigskin prodigies.
- [last lines]
- Narrator: Goodness, look at those big ruffians. They'll just kill each other. Children, children, don't play so rough! Whoops!