- Nesta Pett, Ann's Aunt: The sight of you has brought back a most unpleasant memory.
- Bayliss, Jim's Butler: That, Madame, leaves me in a state of indifference bordering upon the supernatural.
- James Crocker - Sr.: Herbert is the rag king of America.
- James Crocker, Jr.: Ah, a musician.
- James Crocker - Sr.: No, he has a process.
- James Crocker, Jr.: Can't he have it lanced?
- James Crocker - Sr.: Oh, you don't understand. Herbert buys clippings from other manufacturers and converts them back into cloth again. It's netted him millions.
- James Crocker, Jr.: Millions! From rags to riches.
- Eugenia Willis, Nesta's Sister: But, why couldn't I stay and chaperon Anne?
- Nesta Pett, Ann's Aunt: Who'd chaperon you? Get along.
- James Crocker - Sr.: I don't know quite how to begin.
- James Crocker, Jr.: Suppose you begin by letting me know her name.
- Bayliss, Jim's Butler: Mr. Crocker is a fine actor too
- James Crocker, Jr.: My father is not a fine actor. My father is a ham.
- Bayliss, Jim's Butler: Ah, but a delightful ham, sir. A gentleman.
- James Crocker - Sr.: Yes, Herbert and Nesta Pett. They're very rich, my boy. They, uh, they have the imperial ambition.
- James Crocker, Jr.: Have you, by any chance, formed the wrong impression of me?
- Ann Chester: I think not. You're a typical American - European model.
- James Crocker, Jr.: A romantic figure, I trust?
- Ann Chester: Oh, very. I think the technical term is a bar fly.
- Secretary to the Publisher, London Gossip Editor Bill Mechan: Do you wish to include the last, sir?
- London Gossip Editor Bill Mechan: No, no, no. It's not good slinging mud.
- James Crocker, Jr.: You are making the most stupid mistake in the world. You're trying to use your brain to choose a husband instead of your heart. It can't be done. It's all wrong. Marriage isn't an engineering problem, uh, like Boulder Dam.
- James Crocker, Jr.: That might be the face that launched a thousand ships that ruined the topless towers of Illium, but she's got a date .. with a horse.. on the bridal path.
- Bayliss, Jim's Butler: America - I've never been there, sir. Do you think American will understand me?
- James Crocker, Jr.: .: I think we should both make an effort, Bayliss.
- James Crocker - Sr.: Uh, well we met in the lift. It was one of those, uh, push-button affairs. She was timid and squealed. We, uh, heh, we were friends before we reached the street.
- James Crocker - Sr.: It came like a bolt from the blue, my boy. I'd seen her several times in the waiting room at the dentists.
- James Crocker, Jr.: Yes, and she spotted you. Well , you always were a matinee idol - that is, when you had matinees.