- [Professor Magenbrush says Sugarpuss has a slight rosiness at the back of her throat]
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: SLIGHT rosiness? It's as red as The Daily Worker and just as sore!
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: [needing help with a stubborn zipper] You know, I had this happen one night in the middle of my act. I couldn't get a thing off. Was I embarrassed!
- Professor Bertram Potts: What're you gonna do?
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: I'm going to show you what yum-yum is. Here's yum.
- [kisses him]
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Here's the other yum.
- [kisses him again]
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: And here's yum-yum.
- [gives a long kiss that knocks him backwards onto a chair]
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: [about Potts] Yes, I love him. I love those hick shirts he wears with the boiled cuffs and the way he always has his vest buttoned wrong. Looks like a giraffe, and I love him. I love him because he's the kind of a guy that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk, and I love the way he blushes right up over his ears. Love him because he doesn't know how to kiss, the jerk!
- Professor Bertram Potts: Before we attempt to get back to work, I'd like to say a few words. You've been very kind and very tactful. If I may say so, over-tactful. The entire ride home in the car you avoided a certain subject to make empty conversation. Now let's have it out. I made an ass of myself and I know it.
- Prof. Jerome: Oh, well, we all have, Potts.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Yes, but I was the lead donkey.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: For instance, do you know what this means - "I'll get you on the Ameche"?
- Professor Bertram Potts: No.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: 'Course you don't. An Ameche is the telephone, on account of he invented it.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Oh, no, he didn't.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Like, you know, in the movies.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Well, I see what you mean. Very interesting. Make no mistake, I shall regret the absence of your keen mind; unfortunately, it is inseparable from an extremely disturbing body.
- Joe Lilac: Having some trouble, Mr. D.A.?
- District Attorney: Oh, don't worry, Joe. And don't underestimate this office or the State of New York. I've got some boys that can find a needle in a haystack.
- Joe Lilac: Oh, that's a cinch. All you have to do is get a horse to eat the hay and then x-ray the horse.
- Prof. Gurkakoff: [discovering Sugarpuss gave back the wrong ring] The subconscious never makes a mistake. She gave you the ring she didn't want - his ring - and she kept the one she wanted - yours.
- Joe Lilac: [as the professors draw guns on Joe and his men] What is this?
- Prof. Oddly: I believe... I think it is known as an "up-stick."
- Miss Totten: Father had just one reason for ever starting this unfortunate enterprise: vanity. He broke a blood vessel because he found his name was omitted from the Encyclopedia of Britannica, because thirty pages were devoted to Thomas Alva Edison, seventeen to Alexander Graham Bell, but not one line to Daniel S. Totten, the inventor of the electric toaster.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: [mistaking Bertram for a police dick come to take her downtown] Hey, how many of you are on this job?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Uh, the entire project? Eight.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Oh. The other seven waiting outside?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Oh, no. They're at home sound asleep, I imagine.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Asleep?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Yes, they go to bed at nine every night.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: You mean to tell me with crime what it is in New Yor... Say, are you a bull or aren't you?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Well, if "bull" is a slang word for professor, then I'm a bull.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: A professor?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Of English.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: [jibing Betram for nervousness over his loosened tie] Oh, you know, one time I watched my big brother shave.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: [examining the professors' books] Oh, "Greek philosophy!" I got a set like this with a radio inside.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: You, uh, you don't think we could sort of begin the beguine right now?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Well, it's, uh, nearly one o'clock, Miss O'Shea.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Oh, foo, professor. And let's get ourselves a couple drinks, light the fire maybe, and you can start working on me right away.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Well, I wouldn't think of imposing on you at this hour.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Listen, I figured on working all night.
- Professor Bertram Potts: She wouldn't say yes? What... Why, you very ugly young man, you know, to me, at this moment you look perfectly delightful.
- Duke Pastrami: [Giving Sugarpuss O'Shea a message from Joe Lilac] He sends ya' a love message. He says to tell ya' he gets more bang outta' you than any dame he ever knew.
- Professor Bertram Potts: We're working under pressure. After nine years of effort, we are, as the race track enthusiast might say, in the home stretch. Three more years and our encyclopedia will be finished. Let's not bog down in the middle of the letter S.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Sugarpuss, uh, before you go, would you... would you, eh, yum me just once more?
- Professor Bertram Potts: I've just finished my article on slang. Twenty-three pages compiled from a dozen reference books, eight hundred examples.
- Prof. Robinson: Well?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Everything from the idiotic combination of "absotively" to the pajorative use of "zigzag." I traced the evolution of "hunky-dory," tracked down "skidoo" from "skedaddle." Eight-hundred examples and I may as well throw it in the wastebasket. Three weeks work...
- Prof. Robinson: You're hysterical.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Outmoded... based on reference books twenty years old. Take "smooch," take "dish," take, uh...
- Prof. Oddly: "Hoi toi toi?"
- Professor Bertram Potts: "Hoi toi toi." Not one of them included.
- Joe Lilac: You know, I was kinda counting on Sugarpuss to tell ya the score. Trouble is, she's all right givin' out with the twists and the wisecracks, but when it comes to leveling off she gets chicken.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: [Upon arriving late to Professor Potts's round-table discussion on slang, already in progress] Don't tell me the jive session has beat off without baby!
- Garbage Man: I could use a bundle of scratch right now on account of I met me a mouse last week.
- Prof. Oddly: Mouse?
- Garbage Man: What a pair of gams. A little in, a little out, and a little more out.
- Professor Bertram Potts: I am still completely mystified.
- Garbage Man: Well, with this dish on me hands and them giving away 25 smackaroos on that quizzola.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Smackaroos?
- Prof. Oddly: Smackaroos? What are smackaroos?
- Garbage Man: A smackaroo is a...
- Professor Bertram Potts: No such word exists.
- Garbage Man: Oh, it don't, huh? A smackaroo is a dollar, pal.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Well, the accepted vulgarism for a dollar is a buck.
- Garbage Man: The accepted vulgarism for a smackaroo is a dollar. That goes for a banger, a fish, a buck, or a rug.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Well, what about the mouse?
- Garbage Man: The mouse is the dish. That's what I need the moolah for.
- Prof. Oddly: Moolah?
- Garbage Man: Yeah, the dough. We'll be stepping. Me and the smooch - I mean, the dish, I mean, the mouse. You know, hit the jiggles for a little drum boogie.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Please, please, not so fast.
- Garbage Man: Brother, we're going to have some hoytoytoy.
- Prof. Oddly, Prof. Robinson, Prof. Jerome, Prof. Gurkakoff, Prof. Magenbruch, Prof. Quintana: Hoytoytoy?
- Garbage Man: Yeah, and if you want that one explained, you go ask your papas.
- Newsboy: Four words, blitz it, mister! Blitz it, will you? You give me the mimis.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Mimis?
- Newsboy: Yeah, the screaming mimis.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Extremely picturesque.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Third Avenue girl in the major league at last. Wait till they find out, those other dolls in the show.
- Prof. Peagram: Cleopatra, queen of Egypt, daughter of Ptolemy Xlll, born 69 BC, killed herself on the 29th day of August, 30 BC, by placing an asp to her bosom.
- Garbage Man: A what?
- Prof. Peagram: An asp. A small snake.
- Professor Bertram Potts: You have split an infinitive. Never "to carelessly expose." Always "to expose carelessly."
- Miss Bragg: I'm not here to juggle words.
- Professor Bertram Potts: I've just finished my article on slang. Twenty-three pages compiled from a dozen reference books. Eight hundred examples. Everything from the idiotic combination "absotively" to the pejorative use of "zigzag." I traced the evolution of "hunky dory," tracked down "skiddo" from "skedaddle." Eight hundred examples and I may as well throw it in the waste basket. Three weeks' work.
- Prof. Robinson: Potts, you're hysterical.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Outmoded. Based on reference books 20 years old. Take "smooch." Take "dish." Take...
- Prof. Oddly: Hoytoytoy?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Hoytoytoy. Not one of them included. Living in this house cut off from the world, I've lost touch. And it's inexcusable! That man talked a living language. I embalmed some dead phrases.
- Prof. Gurkakoff: But where are you going?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Out to collect new data, to tap the sources of slang, the major sources. The streets. The slums. The theatrical and allied professions.
- Prof. Robinson: Oh, now, Potts, don't you think that...
- Professor Bertram Potts: I know it's regrettable, this loss of time, gentlemen, but it must be done. Leave the key under the mat. I won't be home before 9 o'clock.
- Newsboy: Extra! Extra! Nab Benny the Creep in cement killing! Read all about it. Corpse's dogs dunked into cement. Extra! Extra! Ice-pick killing! Link Benny the Creep with Big Tom! Extra! Extra! Seek man behind the man behind the murder ring! Extra! Extra!
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Come on, Krup, knock yourself out!
- [singing]
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Boogie!
- Gene Krupa Orchestra: Lah-dah-dee-lah-dah-lah-dah
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Boogie!
- Gene Krupa Orchestra: Lah-dah-dee-lah-dah-lah-dah
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Now, mister, can't keep on a-drivin', Just gently jam the jivin', Drumboogie, the cat is rockin' with a solid eight, I tell you it's more to gait, The joint is jumpin'...
- Gene Krupa Orchestra: [singing] Boogie!
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: You hear the rhythm rompin'
- Gene Krupa Orchestra: Boogie!
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: You see the drummer stompin', Drumboogie, drumboogie
- Gene Krupa Orchestra: Boogie!
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: It really is a killer, Drumboogie, drumboogie, The drum boogie-woogie
- Gene Krupa Orchestra: Boogie!
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: The rhythm won't offend you
- Gene Krupa Orchestra: Boogie!
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: It's really gonna send you...
- Professor Bertram Potts: Young man, what is the name of that young lady?
- Waiter: Sugarpuss O'Shea.
- Professor Bertram Potts: An astounding specimen.
- Waiter: She jives by night. Root, zoot and cute and solid to boot.
- Asthma Anderson: Benny the Creep had an accident.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: I never heard of Benny the Creep. Who's he?
- Asthma Anderson: One of the boys.
- Duke Pastrami: He was on kind of an errand when he grazed into a police car, that dope.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: And for that I've got to hide out? That don't make sense, Pastrami.
- Duke Pastrami: No, you see, when the bulls gave Benny a ticket, they saw Kinnick in the back of the car.
- Asthma Anderson: Dead.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: In the accident?
- Duke Pastrami: That's what Benny was trying to tell them. Only they saw Kinnick's feet.
- Asthma Anderson: They was in a cake of cement.
- Duke Pastrami: Benny was gonna dump him in the East River.
- Asthma Anderson: That was the errand.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Suppose you tell the DA to take a nice running jump for himself?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Bewildering.
- Professor Bertram Potts: I hate to intrude like this, but mine is a very...
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Cut the corners. What is it?
- Professor Bertram Potts: Well, this inquiry is one of considerable importance.
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Stop beating up with the gums.
- Professor Bertram Potts: What was that?
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Get this. I don't know from nothing.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Oh, but you do. Every word you say proves as much.
- Professor Bertram Potts: You see, I'm conducting an investigation on current slang. Would you object if I used you for observation and study?
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Yeah, I would.
- Professor Bertram Potts: If I could have your assistance for just a few days it would be...
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: Out, out, Professor.
- Professor Bertram Potts: Then you won't help me?
- Sugarpuss O'Shea: No. Out. Shove in your clutch.
- Professor Bertram Potts: "Shove in your clutch." Exactly the kind of thing I want.