- Chinese Woman: [Repeated line looking at pretty Paula] Pretty girl for a white woman!
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Like a piece of cheese the rats have been at.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: A two-timer, huh? She isn't a woman. She's a football.
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: Is that a flag you're waving or the double standard?
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: When a man's a two timer, that's just normal, but if a woman's a two timer, she's strong drink and shouldn't be sold to minors.
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: I ought to poke you one.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: What for? If you can't read that babe, then someone has to do it for you? You want me to spell out the word?
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: Spell away!
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: It rhymes with champ. But it means the opposite.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: You and that babe in there belong together. Like mush and milk. Yes sir. She's the milk... You're the mush, Junior.
- Crystal McRegan: [Flirting at bar] Like what you see?
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: [Condescendingly] Sure, you're as pretty as a picture in a fifty-cent magazine.
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: Name's Paula - a great girl. Saw a lot of her before I left.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: You never told me about her.
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: Do I have to tell you everything?
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Not a bad idea. Anybody I know?
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: And nobody you owe either.
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: I want to marry her, Jonny.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: No foolin'?
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: That's it exactly. No foolin'.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: You think it's big important stuff, huh?
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: [Kirk shakes his head affirmedly] And the babe, likewise?
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: From her letters I'd say yes.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: It wasn't all set up before you left?
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: Not quite, but this six months apart made it right.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Six months? If it took you that long to make up your mind, it's no good. Nothing will come of it.
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: How do you know? Nothing ever lasted six months with you - not even the seven year itch.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Maybe so, Junior, but when I meet the ultimate babe, I'll know it...
- [He snaps his fingers]
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: ... like that!
- George L. Stafford: You'll learn you can't toss me around like a badminton ball, Davis.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: They don't play badminton with a ball, chief. They use what is known as a bird. You ought to know what that is - you get it enough!
- Paula Lane: I heard every word you said out there.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Why didn't you open your eyes?
- Paula Lane: Because it sounded better when I couldn't see you. Making love always sounds better in the dark.
- Paula Lane: You know something? My nose itches.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Didn't that mean something when I was a kid?
- Paula Lane: Mm hmm. It still does. When your nose itches, it means you're gonna' kiss a fool.
- [proceeds to kiss Jonny]
- Crystal McRegan: [they're at the bar at the Tropical Club in Manila] Look, if being broke is slowing you down, I know where you can get a job.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Hey, let me tell you something, babe: for the first time in my life, I don't want to work, either. It must be the climate. Enervating.
- Crystal McRegan: Climate, my eye. If you ask me, you're carrying a torch so big, they could use you for a lighthouse.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: That's my nose you're looking at.
- Crystal McRegan: Listen, when a man like you goes on a 4-star bender and then can't un-bend, the reason usually wears a skirt. Oh, sure, probably some right little, tight little blue-nose.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: What do you say we get out of here?
- Crystal McRegan: Why not? I'll take a whack at blowing out that torch.
- Miss Coulter, Stafford's Secretary: [after being tightly hugged after seeing Jonny for the first time in a long time] Oh, my goodness, Jonny!
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: How is your goodness these days?
- Chinese Woman: [Repeated line looking at pretty Paula] Pretty girl for a white woman!
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Yeah! YOU'RE pretty in any language!
- Paula Lane: Well, I love men.
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: So does Johnny... one at a time. If he keeps his health, he'll get around to everybody.
- Paula Lane: Why didn't you tell me, Jonny?
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Because I don't put anything in the paper until I've heard it twice and seen it three times.
- Paula Lane: Oh, listen, Jonny. Everyone's not like you. You'd rather be a good reporter than... Shakespeare.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Shakespeare was a reporter. Scooped Queen Elizabeth. That's the thing to do with dames. Scoop 'em, but stay away from all of them.
- Lieutenant Wade Hall: Aye, we can duck your words but can you duck our bullets?
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: I can try.
- Paula Lane: Kirk darling, you... you look wonderful!
- Kirk 'Junior' Davis: Aw you look good enough to eat, which isn't such a bad idea
- [Kirk embraces, then kisses Paula]
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Hi, Anatole. Professor Anatole, astrologer. Predicted Black Friday
- Paula Lane: He should have made millions.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: No, somebody talked him out of it. He lost his shirt.
- Professor Anatole: It might interest you to know that the world is coming to an end.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Not unless it's tonight.
- Professor Anatole: The stars say it will be April the 7th, 1987. At 5:30 o'clock.
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Daylight savings time? That gives us exactly 45 1/2 years. The way things are going. It won't be a minute too long.
- Paula Lane: [at Russian restaurant] What's the difference where we sit?
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: The difference between Democrats and Republicans!
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Well, eh, what and who, eh, have you been doing these lost years?
- Paula Lane: Lost?
- Jonathon 'Jonny' Davis: Yes, you didn't know me.