Gents Without Cents (1944)
Moe Howard: Moe
Quotes
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[After Curly says Niagara Falls]
Moe : Niagara Falls! Slowly I turn... step by step... inch by inch...
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Flo : Who are you, and what are you doing in here?
Larry : Well... we came up here to break your neck.
Flo , Mary , Shirley : [threateningly] Oh, yeah?
Curly : Wait a minute! That's before we saw you.
Moe : You see, we live in the room below. We was rehearsing our act, but you were dancing and...
Curly : [pointing to a spot on his head] The chandelier hit me in the head.
Flo : Oh, what an awful lump.
Curly : That's no lump, that's my head.
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Curly : [Larry bumps into Curly] Oof! Pardon me, pal.
Larry : Did you call me pal?
Curly : Nyaah-ahh!
Larry : It's been a long time since I heard the word "pal".
Curly : You too? Haven't you got any friends, either?
Larry : That's what I was coming to, the dirty rat! He tried to take her away from me! Ah, but he couldn't get away with it, so he trailed me.
Curly : To Pittsburgh?
Larry : Yes!
Curly : Aah-aah-aah! Then you went to Miami, New Orleans, and Dallas?
Larry : Yes, yes! But how did you know?
Curly : You'd be surprised. Nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk-nyuk...
Curly : [knocks on the deck floor] And then he caught you in Niagara Falls.
Larry : Niagara Falls!
[Curly makes a nervous turkey gobble sound]
Larry : Slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch...
Curly : Oh no, not that!
Larry : I picked him up! I smacked him! I hit him! I bonked him! I tore his shirt, and then I knocked him down! What have I done? Blood, the judge, blood! You!
[Moe arrives onstage]
Moe : Ah, there you are, Larry!
Larry : Why you...
Moe : Why...
Larry , Moe : [Moe and Larry shake hands] Hiya, pal!
Moe : Heh-heh-heh, I almost caught up with you in Pittsburgh!
Curly : Go ahead, tell him where you found him.
Larry : Forget it, it's past history!
Curly : Why, you cowards! You're afraid to say "Niagara Falls"!
Larry , Moe : Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch...
[Moe and Larry chase Curly offstage]
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Curly : Hiya, pal.
Moe : You call me pal? Why. I haven't heard that word for years. You know bub, I was once a tramp like you.
Curly : Oh, congratulations!
Moe : Ahh, but it wasn't always thus. I can look back to the days of yore when I was a very happy, married man. Then one day, that rat came and destroyed forever all the happiness I had ever known. I'll never forget that day; I just came home from the graveyard shift, and there was the note on the pillow.
Curly : What did it say?
Moe : Oh, it was one of those cold-blooded notes: "Dear Moe, I am running away with Larry." I was obsessed with the idea that I must find them; the trail led me to Pittsburgh. I found that I had missed them by three days when I got there, and I swore right there in Pittsburgh that I'd find them and have my revenge. And now on went the chase: Miami, Dallas, New Orleans, and then I came face to face with the rat that had ruined my life. It was in Niagara Falls.
Moe : [turns around, ominously approaches Curly] Niagara Falls! Slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch, I walked up to him and I smashed him! I hit him! i bonked him! I bopped him! I socked him! I mashed his face and I knocked him down!
Curly : Whoa, take it easy bud, take it easy.
Moe : Excuse me kid, it's that word "Niagara Falls". Every time I hear it, it tears me apart.
Curly : Oh, it don't do me any good, either. Ungrateful, that's what it is. How do you like a guy like that? I say 'Hello, pal' sort of friendly, and just because I say "Niagara Falls".
Moe : Niagara Falls!
Curly : Woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo!
Moe : Slowly I turn!
Curly : Please don't!
Moe : And step by step, inch by inch, I smacked him! I bopped him! I hit him! I bashed him! I beat him! I tore him and I knocked him down!
Curly : Take it easy, pal. Please, take it easy!
Moe : Ohh, it's that woman; I'll kill her, and him!
Curly : Blood?
Moe : Yes! Rivers of blood! Pools of blood! Ha-ha-ha-ha! The blood! Ha-ha-ha-ha!