The Reformer and the Redhead (1950)

David Wayne: Arthur Colner Maxwell

Photos 

Quotes 

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : [Seeing lion]  Let's get outta here.

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : [Referring to lion]  Aw, scared of his own shadow.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : I'm scared of it too.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Just don't say too much. Be simple and clean cut. Remember you're all things to all men. A sort of cross between Eisenhower and Little Abner.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : For what possible reason could a sensible man get mixed up with a girl like that?

  Leon : I can think of a couple.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Outside of that.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Boy, what a night. Been doing a little campaigning for you. You know the, uh, chili joint over on 4th Street?

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : Uh-huh.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : You know the place. The small blonde with the big hamburgers.

• Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : What's the matter, you yellow or something?

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Yellow? If I had wheels I'd be a taxi cab.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : A fine way to be running a campaign. I don't mind your kissing babies, but they're supposed to be little ones in their mother's arms.

• Leon : Mr. Maxwell, I, I should like to discuss a matter of economics.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Discuss.

  Leon : For the past year, I've been operating on the basis of deficit financing. Which, while it may be a necessity to the federal government, still, to an individual like myself, it wreaks havoc in terms of the basic necessities of existence.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Meaning?

  Leon : I want a raise.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : [to Andy]  You can wake up now. You're home, dear.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Now, remember, when you get in there, watch your step. You're not talking to the Temperance League or the $50 Every Friday lunch.

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : Look, Arty, I wrote the act. I think I can speak the lines.

• Kathleen 'Kathy' Maguire : If I ran him over with an automobile, would I stuff him and put him on the wall?

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Well, just the head and shoulders.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Now, if it's not too much trouble, what'd you find out?

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : A baby mountain goat takes four ounces of male every three hours.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Oh, a baby mountain goat, not a full grown one.

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : Cutest thing you ever saw.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : How would you know?

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : I gave birth to one this afternoon.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Oh, really? I didn't know you were married"

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Now, don't forget! You're strictly the Boy Scout. You don't know from nothing.

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : Relax, will you? We wouldn't even be here if they weren't stuck for a candidate.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Remember - you're all things to all men - a sort of cross between Eisenhower and Little Abner.

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : Oh, please, I didn't come this far to blow it now.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Well, you'll be all right. Just be the sort of fellow my mother would like my sister to marry.

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : That's any fellow.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : If she likes monkeys, she ought a love diamonds.

• Kathleen 'Kathy' Maguire : The broom! The broom!

  Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : What does she want me to do with it?

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Wave it!

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : I promise you - this is one Fourth of July Orphan Andy will never forget.

• Kathleen 'Kathy' Maguire : This is a fine and courageous thing he's done.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Greatness doesn't care who wears its mantle.

  Kathleen 'Kathy' Maguire : It's true. There is a kind of simple nobility about him.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : There's a bit of Abe Lincoln in that boy. He places honor and duty above dollars and cents.

  Leon : That I can vouch for.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Leon, the vicissitudes of our competitive economy based on an equilibrium of supply and demand make any realignment of fiduciary relationships highly untenable, if not reductio ad absurdum.

  Leon : Meaning?

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : No.

  [to Leon's request for a raise] 

• Andrew 'Andy' Rockton Hale : Arty, suppose she says no?

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : You don't have that kinda luck.

• Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Do you realize how mulch it's worth for a young man to associate with a firm like Maxwell and Hale?

  Leon : $35 a week.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : Now, Leon, when are you going to realize that money isn't everything?

  Leon : With me, it isn't anything.

  Arthur 'Artie' Colner Maxwell : We'll discuss this after lunch.

  Leon : Who can afford to eat?