Fool Coverage (1952)

Mel Blanc: Daffy Duck, Porky Pig

Quotes 

• Porky Pig : Now, w-where did I put that screwdriver? I bet I l-left it in the oven.

  [Looks inside oven with a lit match] 

  Porky Pig : Ah, h-here it is.

  Daffy Duck : No accidents in the home, eh? You should never use a match to look in the oven.

  Porky Pig : Oh, f-f-fiddlesticks.

  Daffy Duck : You should use a flashlight, like so.

  [Peeks inside oven with flashlight; it explodes] 

  Daffy Duck : Must have been a short in my battery.

• Daffy Duck : I just gotta prove this meatball that the home is loaded with pitfalls. Aha, the hall closet.

  [Peeks in closet, which is full to bursting] 

  Daffy Duck : Aha, just as I thought. A veritable booby trap. I'll just prime it a little.

  [Adds more stuff, then goes to Porky] 

  Daffy Duck : Do you have a tennis racket I could borrow?

  Porky Pig : N-no, I don't.

  Daffy Duck : Hmm. Water skis?

  Porky Pig : Uh-uh.

  Daffy Duck : Golf clubs?

  Porky Pig : N-n-no.

  Daffy Duck : Outrigger canoe?

  Porky Pig : N-n-no, I don't.

  Daffy Duck : Croquet set? Elephant gun? Sidesaddle?

  Porky Pig : N-n-no.

  Daffy Duck : A yo-yo?

  Porky Pig : W-why yes.

  Daffy Duck : Well, where is it?

  Porky Pig : R-right there in the hall closet.

  Daffy Duck : Why didn't you say so in the first place?

  [Runs to hall closet and opens door; all the stuff falls on him; emerges with yo-yo] 

• Daffy Duck : Good morning, sir. I represent the Hotfoot Casualty Underwriters Insurance Company of Schenectady.

  Porky Pig : B-b-but I...

  Daffy Duck : As everybody knows, most accidents occur right around the home. A Hot Foot accident policy pays you for any injury incurred in the home.

  Porky Pig : B-b-but I, b-b-but I...

  Daffy Duck : For instance, Hotfoot pays you one million dollars for a black eye.

  Porky Pig : B-but I don't wa... One million dollars for a b-black eye?

  Daffy Duck : Oh, of course, there are a few minor provisions. I'll read it to you.

  [Puts earmuffs on Porky] 

  Daffy Duck : "Provided the accident occurs as the result of a stampede of wild elephants in your own living room, on the Fourth of July - of any year - between the hours of 3:55 and 4:00 p.m., during a hailstorm."

  [Removes earmuffs] 

  Daffy Duck : Did that come through okay?

  Porky Pig : Why...

  Daffy Duck : All right, just sign here on the dotted line.

  Porky Pig : Oh, b-but I don't want a policy. I n-never have accidents in my home. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have a g-great deal to do today. Good day, sir.

  [escorts Daffy out the door] 

  Daffy Duck : Oh, he doesn't have accidents in his home, eh?

• Daffy Duck : [Dazed from all the mishaps he had to endure]  I represent the something-or-other insurance company. Could I interest you in an accident policy?

  Porky Pig : Why, c-certainly.

  Daffy Duck : Our policy... What did you say?

  Porky Pig : After w-w-witnessing your unfortunate mishaps about the house, I'm r-ready to sign on the dotted line. T-t-there, now all I have to do to get a million dollars is get a b-black eye.

  Daffy Duck : Provided the accident occurs as the result of a stampede of wild elephants in your own home between 3:55 and 4:00 p.m. on the Fourth of July during a hailstorm.

  [Evil laugh] 

  Porky Pig : I kn-kn-knew there'd be a catch to it.

  [Suddenly a pack of elephants stampede into Porky's house] 

  Daffy Duck : Stampede of wild elephants!

  [Looks at watch] 

  Daffy Duck : 3:57 p.m.!

  [Hears marching music outside; looks at calendar] 

  Daffy Duck : Fourth of July!

  [Sticks head out door, is pelted with hailstones] 

  Daffy Duck : Hail storm! Oh, no!

  Porky Pig : Oh, yes. A b-b-black eye. Pay me.

  Daffy Duck : Oh, no. It distinctly says "a stampede of wild elephants and one baby zebra."

  [Aside to audience] 

  Daffy Duck : I just added that one.

  [Suddenly a baby zebra runs into the living room, trampling Daffy] 

  Daffy Duck : And one baby zebra.