Abbott and Costello Go to Mars (1953)

Mari Blanchard: Queen Allura

Photos 

Quotes 

• Handmaiden : [captured Orville is thrown at Allura's feet]  What is it?

  Allura : I could be wrong, but I think it's a man.

  Handmaiden : That's a man?

  Allura : As I remember it, they look something like this. Although, this seems to be a pretty poor specimen.

• Allura : My man was the lyingest, cheatingest, double-crossingest male that ever inhabited Venus. And so were all the rest of 'em.

• Allura : What do you want here?

  Orville : I was lookin' for a policeman. I didn't know this was a moving picture studio.

  Allura : You are a bit confused. This is the planet Venus.

• Orville : Can I get up?

  Allura : Go ahead.

  Orville : Thank you.

  Allura : He looks worst standing up than he did lying down.

• Allura : King Orville. If you'll step into the King's quarter's you'll find some of his old apparel.

  Orville : Is it customary for the King to have a body guard?

  Allura : With you I'm afraid the body guard would have to have a body guard.

• Handmaiden : Could it be a sign that men are to return to us again?

  Handmaiden : Maybe it's an omen.

  Handmaiden : An omen?

  Handmaiden : Omen!

  Handmaiden : Oh, men!

  Allura : Silence, all of you. We have done well without men. Our science, art, medicine, and culture surpass that of any other civilization. *We* have discovered the secret of eternal life. We live in tranquility and peace. Are we to destroy this by bringing *men* back?

• Allura : What can a King do that a Queen can't do?

  Orville : Be de fatha of a large family.

• Orville : Kiss my hand.

  [Lester shrugs his shoulders and kisses Orville's hand] 

  Orville : Now you know who's boss.

  Allura : [stands up]  Whose the boss?

  Orville : You are.

  [Orville sits down] 

• Orville : When I get down to Earth, I'm gonna tell 'em down there how beautiful you and the girls are.

  Allura : Thank you.

  Orville : May I take along a few samples to show 'em?

  Allura : No!

• Allura : I must say, it's rather nice to have a man around the house again. Are you married?

  [Orville shakes his head no] 

  Allura : Engaged?

  [Orville shakes his head no] 

  Allura : Have you a sweetheart?

  [Orville shakes his head no] 

  Allura : Well, do you go around with anyone?

  Orville : Lester.

• Allura : Too bad I couldn't trust him. He was such a cute little fellow.

  Orville : You mean me, Queenie?