Abbott and Costello Go to Mars (1953)

Jack Kruschen: Harry

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mugsy : I would like to ask you one simple question: How many states are you wanted in?

  Harry : How many are dere?

  Mugsy : Forty eight.

  Harry : Dat's how many.

• Harry : [Upon discovering a rocket that has just landed]  What's that?

  Mugsy : If I didn't see with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it.

  Harry : What is it?

  Mugsy : Are you kiddin'? That's a spaceship. Them guys weren't from Mardi Gras, they're from Mars.

  Harry : What's Mars? Is that anywheres near Hoboken?

  Mugsy : What's Mars! Mars is a planet. A planet is a thing that goes revolving around in space.

  Harry : How did it get up there?

  Mugsy : Well, it all depends whether you subscribe to the Laplacian theory of 1796 or whether you subscribe to the tidal theory formulated by somebody in 1919.

  Harry : Gee, must be wonderful to have education.

• Mugsy : For the first time since I know you, you are showing a gleaming of intelligence.

  Harry : I am with you.

• Mugsy : It's a ray gun. It shoots paralysis rays. You hit a thing with one of them and you stiffen 'em out like a plank momentarily. Later on he comes out of it and he's all right again. Flash Gordon uses one of them.

  Harry : Yeah? What mob does he run with?

• Harry : [tries on a new hat]  Hey, I like this one.

  Mugsy : Now you got some class. You look like the warden.

  Harry : That's the nicest thing you said to me all day.

• Harry : [tries on a new hat]  How do you like this one?

  Mugsy : It doesn't do enough for you. It doesn't have enough chick, like they say in French.

• Mugsy : Stop foolin' around with them instruments! We'll wait for them Martians to come and let them run the ship.

  Harry : Hey, talk about foolin' around, they got any dames in this Mars place?

  Mugsy : Naturally they got dames. I seen pictures from there. They got big heads, four arms, and wireless aerials growin' out of their ears.

  Harry : That don't sound very entrancing to me.

  Mugsy : They don't sound no worse then some of them beagles I seen you keepin' company with.

• Mugsy : I would have no objections to incarceration in the Bastille.

  Harry : If that is the same as bein' pinched by a broad, I am with you.

• Mugsy : You mean there's all dames here and just us four men?

  Harry : What a spot for a black market.

  Mugsy : What a spot for me to be King. Look, if the Queen banished one King for kissin' a dame, I figure she'll do the same thing to Orville.

  Harry : You think them tights will fit you?