Alan Young: Ernest Stockhoeffer aka Vernon Hathaway

Quotes 

• Ernest Stockhoeffer : The Florida Flyer - right on time...

  Vernon Hathaway : Just like you - only you're not going anywhere. Every night, the same thing, the same time, the same place. You come down here, watch the trains go by, then you go on home, wind your watch, set the alarm, and crawl into bed. You know, you're really nothing but an alarm clock.

• Lucius Morley : What do you know about electricity?

  Vernon Hathaway : Well... the lamp won't light if the wall plug's out.

  Lucius Morley : Well, I wouldn't want to contradict you, sir - but it will.

• [last lines] 

  Ernest Stockhoeffer : Now, look - we've just got time to buy you an Afghan Hound before our plane leaves, so put your earrings on; let's get married!

• [first lines] 

  Ernest Stockhoeffer : People know me as Ernest Stockhoeffer. Little do they know that in my heart I am really Vernon Hathaway, adventurer on the highroads of life.

• Stranger in Shop : Seven years ago, I took a watch out of your counter here - only I didn't pay for it. Now, uh, I'm not gonna go into the reasons why; it was the only dishonest thing I've ever done. But the day I hocked it, I started making money, and today I'm a wealthy man.

  Ernest Stockhoeffer : Well, but... why should you want to...

  Stranger in Shop : Tell you about it now? Because I've had it on my conscience all these years. Now, I can't give you back the watch that I took, but, uh... here.

  Ernest Stockhoeffer : Well, I'm not sure of the exact amount...

  Stranger in Shop : Well, I'm sure that'll cover it. I can't tell you how grateful I am to ya, and how glad I am to get you off of my mind.