- Monsieur Dubreuil - Casino Director: And the bookseller with a sideline in dirty books?
- Un livreur de journaux: You should know, you're my best customer.
- Monsieur Dubreuil - Casino Director: Isn't that General Dumont?
- Un livreur de journaux: In the flesh! I bet he wants "Plucking the Daisy."
- General Dumont: It seems Vichy has a new scandal.
- Un livreur de journaux: There are dozens.
- General Dumont: An uproar about a book. Do you have it? It's called "Plucking the Daisy."
- Un livreur de journaux: Sorry, it sold out within a week.
- General Dumont: I hear everyone's in it.
- Un livreur de journaux: And their dirty laundry!
- General Dumont: Am I mentioned?
- Un livreur de journaux: No, only the town buffoons.
- Radio Announcer: That was "The Sorceress of Plemiannikov" adapted for radio by Vadim.
- Agnès Dumont: I'll be a writer.
- General Dumont: No, you won't!
- Agnès Dumont: I won't give up!
- General Dumont: Either I kill her or she goes to boarding school.
- Madame Dumont: She prefers boarding school.
- Agnès Dumont: I don't like your friend.
- Roger Vital: He's not a bad guy. Just a womanizer, pretentious, not so smart and spineless as they come. His only real flaw is that he is a hypocrite.
- Agnès Dumont: How awful!
- Roger Vital: No. No. He's not the worst there is. He hasn't murdered anyone. At least, not yet.
- Roger Vital: Take a gander. A girl's getting picked up.
- Magali: I adore that stuff!
- [Sees it is Daniel in the pursuit]
- Magali: The bastard!
- Roger Vital: [to Magali] I worship you, you know. I won't hide the truth from you. Daniel is crazy, he's rotten, he's pitiful. He's a waste of your time.
- Guillaume: Take if from his best fried.
- Magali: Darling! Are you really a dirty bastard?
- Daniel Roy: Been talking to Roger?
- Magali: How'd you guess?
- Daniel Roy: [to Roger] You don't get it. She loves me *because* I'm a jerk.
- [to his Magali]
- Daniel Roy: Right, Dumbbell?
- Magali: Mmm-hmm.
- Daniel Roy: Now, get out, I'm very busy.
- Roger Vital: Not so fast, I'll handle it.
- Daniel Roy: You wouldn't know how.
- Roger Vital: Trust me.
- Daniel Roy: You'll need an hour to kiss her.
- Roger Vital: Me? Five minutes.
- Daniel Roy: You're sure?
- Roger Vital: Easy as pie.
- Daniel Roy: Ten minutes. If you're not kissing, it's my turn. Deal?
- Guillaume: I picture us in Tahiti strolling naked under the mangroves. She'd call me "lover boy" and put orchid blossoms in my hair.
- La secrétaire: Where's the article?
- Daniel Roy: It's all here, just out of order.
- [Hands here a paper ripped into several pieces]
- La secrétaire: What can I do with that?
- Daniel Roy: You can handle anything.
- La secrétaire: Go to hell!
- [Daniel kisses la secrétaire]
- La secrétaire: Fine. I'll do it.
- Agnès Dumont: He's a lecher!
- Daniel Roy: I should've warned you. Poor Roger is a victim of his disgusting vices.
- Agnès Dumont: I noticed.
- Agnès Dumont: You never believed me?
- Daniel Roy: No. But, I love liars, especially ones with noses as cute as yours.
- Daniel Roy: Describe the man of your dreams.
- Agnès Dumont: Dark-haired, nonchalant, a bit rude, not too handsome, and charming.
- Daniel Roy: That's me.
- Agnès Dumont: Finding the man of your dreams isn't hard. What's hard is...
- Daniel Roy: For him to love you.
- Agnès Dumont: To be sure he loves me.
- Monsieur Dubreuil - Casino Director: I'm in love with you.
- Un livreur de journaux: Such words are as worn-down as pebbles at the seashore. When you're really in love, you'll have no words for it.
- Monsieur Dubreuil - Casino Director: How serious you are! Its no tragedy if I love you.
- Un livreur de journaux: I wish I could believe you. Trust is so important.
- Hubert Dumont: Ladies and gentlemen, this is more than a museum. It's a faithful reconstruction of Balzac's daily life.
- Hubert Dumont: You're now in the sitting room where Balzac drank his coffee. Before he became a great writer - excuse me - Before becoming a writer - excuse me - He especially loved - don't touch that - He especially loved coffee. He never wrote without coffee and never had coffee without writing. So writing while drinking coffee and drinking while writing were all the same to him. I'll have a cup myself as soon as you leave.
- Hubert Dumont: Balzac hated sports, because he had to carry the "ball sack." Get it? See? Even museum guides can be witty.
- Roger Vital: My dates never stand me up.
- Daniel Roy: Where are you going?
- Magali: The striptease contest. He'll be too busy ogling to paw me.
- Daniel Roy: Can I go?
- Edouard, Friend of Daniel: Me too? Are you guys coming?
- Roger Vital: I reserved a table for two.
- Edouard, Friend of Daniel: Don't worry. Magali can sit on my lap.
- Agnès Dumont: What was it like the first time?
- Martine: Until you show your breasts, it's not hard. Then you just try to think about something else.
- Agnès Dumont: I'll try.
- Martine: At least a striptease is honest. You're paid to show your backside, they pay to see it. Everyone's happy. No hypocrisy.
- Striptease Emcee: Our contest is strictly for amateurs. This is Marie-Luce's first time onstage. She's 20 years old. Measurements: Bust, 34. Hips, 34. Ooh-la-la! What confidence, what authority! No need to tell her, "Don't be shy!"
- Marie-Luce: He said my thighs weren't bad.
- Martine: He was wrong.
- Marie-Luce: What's the rest? Chopped liver?
- Striptease Emcee: While we wait, I'll describe her. Sophia is blonde, wide-eyed, with lush lips.
- Striptease Emcee: Sophia is 18. Five foot four. Measurements: 36-20-35. Sophia is Italian. She came especially for the contest.
- Magali: Why the mask? I bet she's ugly.
- Daniel Roy: Not necessarily. I think it is very original.
- Roger Vital: With a body like that, she doesn't need brains.
- Daniel Roy: I've never seen a girl with such curves.
- [Magali pinches Daniel]
- Daniel Roy: Besides you!
- Magali: You're too kind.
- Agnès Dumont: [Masked and pretending to be an Italian, Sophia] Get out!
- Daniel Roy: After what I've seen, I couldn't.
- Agnès Dumont: I call-a the manager!
- Daniel Roy: It's the only way to get rid of me.
- Agnès Dumont: I slap-a you!
- Daniel Roy: Slap me, bite me, tear me to bits. My broken body will shout, "You're beautiful!"
- ["Sophia" walks away]
- Daniel Roy: Stop right there. Stop right there.
- Agnès Dumont: Perché?
- Daniel Roy: You're in front of the light, and your robe is transparent.
- Agnès Dumont: What you-a want from me? You love-a me?
- Daniel Roy: I never said that.
- Agnès Dumont: Grazie.
- [Daniel tries to take off "Sophia"'s mask]
- Agnès Dumont: Momento. What if you-a disappointed without the mask?
- Daniel Roy: Something tells me I'll be pleasantly surprised.
- Agnès Dumont: Something tells me you-a rotten bastardo!
- Daniel Roy: Give me the details. I don't know what came over me. The curves on that girl!
- Roger Vital: What about Agnès?
- Daniel Roy: That's totally different.
- Roger Vital: You're unbelievable! You want all them - Agnès, Sophia, Magali...
- Daniel Roy: I was afraid you wouldn't find it.
- Agnès Dumont: I might not be Parisian, but I'm not stupid.
- Agnès Dumont: What's Sophia like?
- Daniel Roy: Beautiful.
- Agnès Dumont: You're in love with her?
- Daniel Roy: No, with you.
- Agnès Dumont: Why were you in her dressing room?
- Daniel Roy: Don't be silly. I'm not a kid. When I say I love you, I mean it. I saw that girl and desired her. These things happen.
- Agnès Dumont: How convenient. I love you, but I desire another. So go to her! Good-bye!
- Agnès Dumont: Leave me alone!
- Daniel Roy: I'll take you home.
- Agnès Dumont: I don't have one! My brother doesn't have room for me.
- Daniel Roy: Then sleep in my bed.
- Agnès Dumont: Never!
- Daniel Roy: I'll lend you some pajamas.
- Agnès Dumont: I have a confession to make, but, it's not easy.
- Daniel Roy: Your father is not a general?
- Agnès Dumont: He is. It's about Sophia. How sweet of you to give her up.
- Daniel Roy: Sweet? No way. I've had tons of girls like that. In the morning, I don't know how to get rid of them.
- Agnès Dumont: Maybe it'd be different with Sophia.
- Daniel Roy: A girl who strips for an audience could never be truthful.
- Agnès Dumont: Stay.
- Daniel Roy: If I stay, you know what will happen.
- Agnès Dumont: Yes, darling. Stay.
- Daniel Roy: No.
- Agnès Dumont: If Sophia asked, you'd stay.
- Daniel Roy: Yes. Yes, with her I would. But you, I respect you. First time that happened. Amazed? Not as much as me.
- [Daniel leaves]
- Agnès Dumont: Gosh dang it! What's she have that I don't?
- Roger Vital: Daniel is really odd. Last night he threw himself at this girl, and an hour later, he proposed to another.
- La secrétaire: A man's heart works in mysterious ways.
- Daniel Roy: I can't go to Vichy.
- La secrétaire: Why not?
- Daniel Roy: Because I'm going to Vichy.
- La secrétaire: You can't go because you're going? Call an ambulance.
- Daniel Roy: I'm going to Vichy to ask the general for Agnes's hand.
- La secrétaire: So?
- Daniel Roy: I can't be chasing after naked ladies!
- Agnès Dumont: Quick! Come in.
- Sophia: What are you doing here? You're crying?
- Agnès Dumont: What a jerk! Brute! Pig! He'll pay for it!
- Sophia: Che cosa succede?
- Agnès Dumont: My fiancé.
- Agnès Dumont: You're engaged?
- Agnès Dumont: He said he loved me.
- Sophia: How sweet.
- Agnès Dumont: No, it's awful! He said it yesterday too.
- Sophia: To another girl? Who?
- Agnès Dumont: Me!
- Sophia: Ma va tutto bene allora!
- Agnès Dumont: No, it's not.
- Sophia: I don't understand.
- Agnès Dumont: It's quite simple. There are two mes. Me, Agnès and me, Sophia.
- Sophia: Wait. I'm Sophia.
- Agnès Dumont: No, I am!
- Sophia: Since when?
- Agnès Dumont: Two days ago.
- Sophia: Who are you right now?
- Agnès Dumont: I don't know. I'm so miserable.
- Sophia: I think I missed something. Start over, piano, piano, and speak clearly.
- Sophia: Your fiancé is cheating on you with yourself?
- Agnès Dumont: Exactly.
- Sophia: Kill him!
- Agnès Dumont: He deserves worse.
- Roger Vital: You'll make tomorrow's front page, worldwide!
- Sophia: I'm not *that* Sophia. I'm the other one.
- Daniel Roy: Two Sophias?
- Agnès Dumont: He loves me!
- Sophia: Which one?
- Agnès Dumont: Me!
- Sophia: Me who?
- Agnès Dumont: Me-me!
- Sophia: You-you or You-me?
- Agnès Dumont: He loves Agnès!
- Hubert Dumont: It's all Sophia's fault.
- Daniel Roy: Is she a friend of yours? Hello. I'm Daniel Roy.
- Hubert Dumont: I'm incognito. Bing-bang!
- Daniel Roy: I compared you to that little dope. With your arms, your hips, your legs, who could refuse a girl like you? So here I am!