- Alice McDoakes: Joe, you listen to me! Either you get me a job down at your office or I'm going back to the job I had during the war!
- Mr. Batten: We'll start her out at 25 a week.
- Joe McDoakes: A 50, boss, 50?
- Mr. Batten: 50? Sure, that's all right.
- Joe McDoakes: 75? 75?
- Mr. Batten: 75 - anything you say Joe. It all comes out of your salary, anyway.
- Alice McDoakes: Oh, Joe, you won't be sorry when you see what two incomes will do! Now, I've got to call the Employment Agency. While I'm working, we'll have to have a maid, a cook, and a gardener.
- Joe McDoakes: You see, boss, you'll be doing us both a great favor if you just put her on long enough to teach her that a woman's place is in the home.
- Mr. Batten: I've got just the job for her. We'll make it so miserable for her around here, she'll be begging to get back to washing and dusting and scrubbing.
- [first lines]
- Alice McDoakes: Joe, why is it you don't want me to work? Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you keep me buried under dirty dishes? Washing and scrubbing and cleaning for the rest of my life? Believe me, we could use the extra money. You know, you're no Rockefeller when it comes to bringing home the paycheck! Joe, are you listening to me?
- Joe McDoakes: You've given her three promotions and three raises, out of my salary, and you're supposed to make her realize that a woman's place is in the home.
- Mr. Batten: Well, yes, that applies to *some* women. But, your wife is exceedingly brilliant.
- Mr. Batten: Mrs. McDoakes, could you check over these records? They cover the first three years we were in business - back in the 80s.
- Joe McDoakes: Boss you're not going about this right.
- Mr. Batten: What are you talking about?
- Joe McDoakes: Don't you remember! She's supposed to hate it here in the office. She's supposed to want to go home to making beds and washing dishes.
- Mr. Batten: Oh yes, so she is. Well, I'll think of something. We'll show her that a woman's place *is* in the home.
- Joe McDoakes: Today's woman just isn't satisfied staying at home.
- Harry: Never had that kind of trouble around my house.
- Joe McDoakes: You haven't?
- Harry: Nope. Got the secret. Two things you got to do.
- Joe McDoakes: What are they?
- Harry: Well, the first is got to keep 'em barefooted.
- Joe McDoakes: Barefooted?
- Harry: And the second thing is...
- [whispers in Joe's ear]