J. Pat O'Malley: Colonel, Jasper, Mechanic
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Quotes
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Colonel : [decoding the Twilight Bark] One long howl... two short... one yip and a woof.
Seargent Tibs : Two yips, sir.
Captain : What's the word, Colonel?
Colonel : It's from London.
Seargent Tibs : Then it must be important!
Colonel : Yes, yes, well I'll get the rest of it.
[barks, listens]
Colonel : Sounds like a number! Three fives are thirteen...
Seargent Tibs : Uh, that's fifteen, sir.
Colonel : Fifteen, of course fifteen!
[listens again]
Colonel : Yes, dot, spot, spotted puddings... poodles... no, puddles.
Captain : [confused] Puddles, sir?
Colonel : Fifteen spotted puddles stolen? Oh, balderdash!
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Pongo : What? 99? Where did they all come from?
Perdita : What on earth would she want with so many?
Spotty : She's gonna make coats out of us!
Perdita : She couldn't!
Seargent Tibs : That's right. Dog skinned coats.
Colonel : Oh, dog skinned coats. Oh, come now, Tibs!
Seargent Tibs : But it's true, sir.
Patch : Horace and Jasper are going to pop us off and skin us!
Perdita : She's a devil! A witch! Oh, what'll we do?
Pongo : We have to get back to London somehow.
Patch : What about the others? What'll they do?
Pongo : Perdy, we'll take them home with us. All of them.
[the puppies start wagging their tails]
Pongo : Our pets would never turn them out.
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Cruella De Vil : I've got no time to argue. I tell you, it's got to be done tonight!
[Turns off television set]
Cruella De Vil : Do you understand? Tonight!
Horace : But they ain't big enough.
Jasper : You couldn't get half a dozen coats out of the whole kaboodle.
Seargent Tibs : [whispering] Coats? Dog skin coats?
Cruella De Vil : Then we'll settle for half a dozen!
Jasper : [Jasper coughs]
Cruella De Vil : We can't wait! The police are everywhere. I want the job done tonight!
Horace : How're we gonna do it?
Cruella De Vil : Any way you like. Poison them. Drown them. Bash them in the head. You got any chloroform?
Jasper : Not a drop.
Horace : And no ether, either.
Jasper : [Hits Horace over the head with bottle]
Jasper : Either!
Cruella De Vil : I don't care how you kill the little beasts, but do it, and do it now!
Jasper : Aw, please, miss. Have pity, will you? Can't we see the rest of the show first?
Horace : We want to see "What's My Crime?"
[Cruella takes Jasper's bottle causing him to cough and throws it into the fireplace, where it explodes; she slaps both of them in the face]
Cruella De Vil : Now listen, you idiots! I'll be back first thing in the morning. And the job better be done or I'll I'll I'll call the police! Do you understand?
Seargent Tibs : [She slams the door behind her; a piece of plaster falls off the ceiling and on Horace's head]
Horace : I think she means it, Jasper.
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Horace : I don't like it, Jasper. One more pinch, and they'll throw the keys away.
Jasper : Oh, come off it, Horace. We're getting plenty of bootle.
Horace : Yes, but I've been thinking.
Jasper : You've been thinking? Now look here, Horace! I warned you about thinking! I've got the nog for this job, so let's get on with it!
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Cruella De Vil : Well, any sign of them?
Jasper : Not so much as a blooming footprint. And we've been up and down every blicking road in the county.
Horace : We're froze stiff. We're giving up.
Cruella De Vil : Oh, no, you don't! We'll find the little mongrels if it takes till next Christmas. Now get going! And watch your driving, you imbeciles! Do you wanna get nabbed by the police?
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Cruella De Vil : [on the phone with Jasper] Jasper! Jasper, you idiot! How dare you call here!
Jasper : But, we don't want no more of this here! We want our bootle! We'll settle for half!
Cruella De Vil : Not one shilling until the job is done! Understand?
Horace : Jasper! Jasper!
[shows him the newspaper that it says "15 puppies stolen" in it]
Jasper : [to Cruella] But it's here in the blinkin' papers! Pictures and all!
Cruella De Vil : Hang the papers! It'll be forgotten tomorrow!
Horace : I don't like it, Jasper. I...
Jasper : [to Horace] Ah, shut up, you idiot!
Cruella De Vil : [shouts] What?
Jasper : [to Cruella] Whoa! Oh, no! Not you, Miss! I mean Horace, here!
Cruella De Vil : Why, you imbecile!
[slams down the phone]
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[the Colonel and Seargent Tibs are still waiting for Pongo and Perdita]
Captain : Any news, Colonel?
Colonel : No. Not a blasted thing. They're lost or captured, or something or other. Who knows what?
Seargent Tibs : Colonel, here comes a car!
Colonel : Oh, come now, Tibs! Don't be ridiculous! They wouldn't be driving.
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[the dalmatians are hiding from Jasper and Horace under a bridge across a frozen creek]
Jasper : Aw, they gotta be around here somewhere.
Horace : Jasper, I've been thinking.
Jasper : Now, Horace!
Horace : But what if they went down the froze-up creek so as not to leave their tracks?
Jasper : Oh, Horace, you idiot! Dogs ain't that smart.
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Jasper : Hey look, Horace! Watch me pot His Lordship smack on the conk!
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Colonel : They say the ol' place is haunted or bewitched or some such fiddle faddle.
Seargent Tibs : Fiddle faddle and rot, sir.
Colonel : Just the same, Sergeant, use extreme caution. No telling what sort of hocus pocus you might run into.
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Pongo : Thank you, Sergeant, Colonel, Captain.
Perdita : Bless you all.
Pongo : How can we ever repay you?
Colonel : Oh, nothing at all. All in the line of duty.
Seargent Tibs : That's right, sir. Routine.
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Jasper : The little twerps! Giving us the slip! And after we took so much care of them! That's gratitude for ya!
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Horace : [Jasper is drinking] Hey, Jasper! Come on now, give us a swig. Just a short one?
Jasper : Now Horace, this hogwash ain't fit for a fancy gent like yourself. Besides, you'd get crumbs in it, ya cabbage head!
Horace : [not noticing Rolly stealing the meat out of his sandwich] All right! Guzzle the whole works, and I hope it gives ya collywobbles, that's what!
[He takes a bite out of the now empty sandwich, looks puzzled and holds it open to Jasper]
Horace : 'Ere Jasper, did you...?
[Jasper nonchalantly taps his cigar ash over it]
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Jasper : [as Pongo's pulling his pants down] Hey, Horace! They're fighting dirty!
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Jasper : There's a new act just been passed in parliament. Comes under the heading of "Defence of the Realm Act", it's article 4, section 29, it's very important, you see, it's the law, and it's for your safety, ma'am.
Nanny : Well, I don't care what Parliament realm, or whatever it is, says. You're not coming in here, not with the mister and missus gone.
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Jasper : I'll skin every one of them little spotted hyenas, if it's the last thing I do.
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Jasper : [after locking Nanny in the attic] Hey! Horace, me lad! I've got a sneaky suspicion we're not welcome here!
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[Jasper picks up Tibs thinking that it's a bottle. Tibs screeches]
Jasper : Hey look, Horace! We have a visitor, it's a tabby cat!
[Tibbs run over to the piano and slams the lid down, with Horace's head inside the piano]
Jasper : How about we make him a tabby cat stew!
[Tibs runs towards the wall]
Jasper : [sneaking up on Tibs holding a bottle] Or a cat casserole...
[chuckles]
Jasper : [throws bottle at Tibs] ... a la Mode!
[Tibs escapes the room through a hole in the wall by the door as the bottle smashes against the wall]
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Cruella De Vil : Well what have we here?
[looking at the snow]
Cruella De Vil : So they thought they could outwit Cruella?
[Honking car horn]
Cruella De Vil : Jasper! Horace! Here's their tracks heading straight for the village!
Jasper : Blimey! It's them, all right.
Cruella De Vil : Work your way south on the side roads. I'll take the main road.
[Driving off]
Cruella De Vil : See you in Dinsford!
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[as Tibs and the puppies are chased by the Baduns]
Colonel : Sergeant? I say, sergeant!
Seargent Tibs : [stops and salutes] Sorry sir, no time to explain, busy sir!
[resumes running]
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Jasper : There they go, Horace, me lad: Out for their evening constitutional.
[He peers into the rear view mirror and sees them turn the corner]
Jasper : Ah, a lovely pair of turtledoves. Around the Johnny corner and off to the park.
Horace : [cynical] Yeah, I don't like it, Jasper. One more pinch, and they'll throw the keys away.
Jasper : Oh, come off it, Horace. We're getting plenty of boodle.
Horace : Yes, but... I've been thinking...
Jasper : You've been thinking?
[aggressively grabs Horace]
Jasper : Now, look here, Horace: I warned you about thinking. I've got the knob for this job, so let's get on with it.
[He starts up their truck and drives it up to the doorsteps of Roger and Anita's flat. The truck makes sputtering noises along the way and stops with a squeak. Jasper and Horace emerge from the truck and walk up the doorsteps, as Horace as a handbag in his hands]
Jasper : Ah, nobody home but the little ol' cook. Now, you just leave her to ol' Jasper. He can handle her real diplomatic-like.
Horace : [nervously] Yeah, but I still don't like it.
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Captain : [neighing lowly] Hmm-hmm-hmm. Hmm... sounds like old Towser. It's an alert. Sergeant!
[He speaks louder to wake up Sergeant Tibbs, a tabby cat sleeping on his back]
Captain : Sergeant Tibbs! I SAY, SERGEANT!
[He neighs loudly to wake up Tibbs]
Seargent Tibs : [screeches, then promptly salutes] Who? What? Oh, yes, Captain!
Captain : Barking signal. It's an alert. Report to the Colonel at once.
Seargent Tibs : [respectfully] Yes, sir. Righto, sir. Right away, sir!
[Tibbs hops off Captain's back and scurries along the barn rafters to find Colonel. He reaches an empty barn stall with plenty of hay scattered on the floor and looks for Colonel]
Seargent Tibs : Colonel? I say, Colonel! Colonel, sir? Colonel?
[Tibbs yelps as he is lifted on his superior's head buried inside the hay]
Seargent Tibs : Colonel?
Colonel : [waking up] What? What? Who goes there?
Seargent Tibs : Sergeant Tibbs reporting, sir.
Colonel : Tibbs? Tibbs? Oh, yes, Sergeant Tibbs!
Seargent Tibs : Colonel, sir...
Colonel : Now, look here, Tibbs. What's the idea of barging in at this hour of the night?
Seargent Tibs : But, Colonel...
Colonel : Hold on, Sergeant. You hear that? Sounds like an alert.
Seargent Tibs : [sighs] Yes, Colonel.
Colonel : Well, we'd better look into it. Come along, on the double!
Seargent Tibs : Yes, sir. Righto, sir.
[Tibbs follows Colonel to the stall next to Captain's stall, just as Captain himself hears the last of the message]
Captain : It's old Towser down at Withermarsh, sir.
Colonel : By Jove, yes! So it is. Well, I'll see what he wants. Ahem!
[barking]
Colonel : Woof, woof, woof! Woof, woof, woof!
[Back on the hill a good distance away from the farm, Towser receives the response from Colonel with Lucy holding up his left ear]
Towser : It'd be the Colonel. The old boy himself!
[chuckles]
Towser : He wants the message.
Lucy : You'd better make it loud and clear or he'll never get it.
[Towser then barks the message about the fifteen stolen puppies]
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Horace : [yanks the steering wheel off in a panic] Jasper!
Jasper : [the Baduns' van careens out of control] Horace!
[the Baduns' van collides with Cruella's half-wrecked car with a big crash as they land themselves into a snowy ravine while the moving van drives away]
Cruella De Vil : You idiots! You... you fools! *sobs* Ah, you imbeciles!
Jasper : Ah, shaddap.
[Cruella sobs in defeat]
