Pocketful of Miracles (1961)

Peter Falk: Joy Boy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joy Boy : What's with her?

  Dave the Dude : Aah, she just wants a bunch of kids.

  Joy Boy : Kids? Aw, they're mean when they get on that kick.

• Queenie Martin : [Queenie walks with her make-up artists]  Alright, gang, here's your challenge. Come on, Annie, stand up and meet your makers. It's okay.

  [Annie stands up] 

  Queenie Martin : Now this has got to be a complete overhaul, kids, from top to bottom.

  Joy Boy : Don't forget a new set of kidneys.

  Queenie Martin : All right, Annie, lets go.

  [leading Annie to the bedroom] 

  Queenie Martin : Come on wizards, let's wiz!

  Dave the Dude : Let's go. Let's go.

  Junior : [Junior shaking his head]  My old lady always said you can't make a pig's ear out of an old sow.

  Pierre : Monsieur, your old lady was not Pierre! Hum!

• Butler : I love a Cinderella story, don't you sir?

  Joy Boy : Take a walk, huh!

• Joy Boy : Does it still kinda get you right here?

• Joy Boy : [rounding up Darcey's goons]  Alright we'll tie them up and lock them in the bathroom and when he gets his apple, we'll be back to pick ya up!

  Junior : [pushing the goons]  Move!

  Dave the Dude : Oh Wait a minute, lock them in the closet, Joy Boy. The maid just waxed the bathroom floor!

• Dave the Dude : Hey Joy Boy, how is your Spanish?

  Joy Boy : As good as my French and they both stink!

  Dave the Dude : Hey Junior, did you learn anything from Spanish Lena?

  Junior : Spanish Lena was a Hungarian...

  Dave the Dude : Don't nobody know nothin'?

• Joy Boy : If you weren't a broad, I'd kick you right in the stomach.

• Joy Boy : Oh, that would be a great idea. There's only one problem. I got a wife that's very fussy. She don't like for me to go around marryin' people! Now I know that might sound very selfish to you. But she's very funny that way!

  Junior : I know his wife, he's right. She's a selfish buffalo.

• Apple Annie : Hello, suckers.

  Joy Boy : You old chiselin' moocher.

• Junior : Why don't you laugh? That's funny.

  Joy Boy : If I could laugh, I wouldn't have heartburn.

• Joy Boy : Oh, look at this place. Like the inside of a goat's stomach.

• Joy Boy : Come over here. I'm gonna tell you somethin' that's gonna make you wet all over.

  Butler : Really?

• Joy Boy : You're Dave the Dude, not Little Boy Blue.

• Joy Boy : You can't palm that crocodile off as society. I mean, she couldn't fool a pedigreed cocker spaniel.

  Dave the Dude : Well, we'd have to clean her up some.

  Joy Boy : Some?

• Joy Boy : Is this here Rodney Kent's ig-a-loo?

• Joy Boy : Oh, I'm crying. Dude, I'm crying! Joy Boy, look, I'm crying!

  Joy Boy : All right. All right. All right, I got my own troubles!

• Joy Boy : If I'm sober, why do I see things like dis?