Pocketful of Miracles (1961)

Mickey Shaughnessy: Junior

Quotes 

• Junior : She's like a cockroach what turned into a butterfly!

• Queenie Martin : [Queenie walks with her make-up artists]  Alright, gang, here's your challenge. Come on, Annie, stand up and meet your makers. It's okay.

  [Annie stands up] 

  Queenie Martin : Now this has got to be a complete overhaul, kids, from top to bottom.

  Joy Boy : Don't forget a new set of kidneys.

  Queenie Martin : All right, Annie, lets go.

  [leading Annie to the bedroom] 

  Queenie Martin : Come on wizards, let's wiz!

  Dave the Dude : Let's go. Let's go.

  Junior : [Junior shaking his head]  My old lady always said you can't make a pig's ear out of an old sow.

  Pierre : Monsieur, your old lady was not Pierre! Hum!

• Junior : Did you know New York was an island?

• Joy Boy : [rounding up Darcey's goons]  Alright we'll tie them up and lock them in the bathroom and when he gets his apple, we'll be back to pick ya up!

  Junior : [pushing the goons]  Move!

  Dave the Dude : Oh Wait a minute, lock them in the closet, Joy Boy. The maid just waxed the bathroom floor!

• Dave the Dude : Hey Joy Boy, how is your Spanish?

  Joy Boy : As good as my French and they both stink!

  Dave the Dude : Hey Junior, did you learn anything from Spanish Lena?

  Junior : Spanish Lena was a Hungarian...

  Dave the Dude : Don't nobody know nothin'?

• Dave the Dude : So, where am I gonna find a husband? Now, where am I gonna find her a husband, huh? In Macy's basement?

  Junior : They don't sell them there, boss.

• Junior : [Sitting at a chess board, picks up a piece]  Hey, boss! This guy's got checkers with horses on 'em.

• Junior : Who do ya think's buried in Grant's tomb?

• Junior : I like that Butler. Calls me sir. Then, he bows to me. Makes you feel like a broad.

• Joy Boy : Oh, that would be a great idea. There's only one problem. I got a wife that's very fussy. She don't like for me to go around marryin' people! Now I know that might sound very selfish to you. But she's very funny that way!

  Junior : I know his wife, he's right. She's a selfish buffalo.

• Junior : Well, that's the first broad I ever seen who wanted to do somethin' for you.

• Junior : Why don't you laugh? That's funny.

  Joy Boy : If I could laugh, I wouldn't have heartburn.

• Junior : There ain't a beggar on the street, I'm tellin' ya. It's scary! It's like Broadway was naked! I'm ashamed to look at it.

• Dave the Dude : Boy, you better keep your mind off that dizzy blonde you're runnin' around with.

  Junior : I don't tink about her during the daytime, boss!

• Junior : I didn't see 'em before, boss. I should drop dead!

  Dave the Dude : Maybe you should.

  Junior : That's only an expression.

• Junior : You should see the way Annie looks at her daughter. Like she was a banana split.

• Dave the Dude : Queenie, take your broads over the to other side of the room. You guys come around here, I want to talk to you.

  Junior : All right, guys over here, broads over there! Let's move it. Come on.

• Dave the Dude : I thought I told you to tell 'em to leave the rods home. Now, how many times do I have to tell you something?

  Junior : Weasel, I told you, "no rods!"

  Dave the Dude : Yeah, no rods. Ah, come on, you guys, if we don't behave ourselves and act like gents, we're gonna bollox the whole schmeer up tomorrow night and then that's it.

• Junior : All right, slops. Up on your blisters. You ain't bowin' right.

  Big Mike : Lay off, Junior. I been bowin' so much I got a callous on my bellybutton.

  Junior : Come on, bow!

• Dave the Dude : That's enough, folks! You're gonna start sweatin'.

  Junior : No sweatin'! Nobody sweats!