The Pink Panther (1963)
Peter Sellers: Insp. Jacques Clouseau
Photos
Quotes
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : [having stepped on and broken the violin] It's no matter. When you've seen one Stradivarius, you've seen them all.
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[At a costume ball, a police sergeant costumed as a zebra drinks from the punch bowl]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Any more behaviour like this and I'll have your stripes!
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : We must find that woman!
[slides off the globe]
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[last lines]
Police escort : Tell me, inspector - Signor Phantom - all those robberies. How did you ever manage it?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Well, you know... it wasn't easy.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Simone! Where is my Surété-Scotland-Yard-type mackintosh?
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : At times like this, I wish I was but a simple peasant.
Simone Clouseau : It's times like this that make me realize how lucky I really am.
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Simone Clouseau : If I'm not being too nosy your highness, I read somewhere there was some dispute over the ownership of the Pink Panther.
Princess Dala : It belongs to me. It was a gift from my late father. I shall never surrender it.
Sir Charles Lytton : Why should you?
Princess Dala : When the present government seized power, they claimed the diamond was the property of the people. There's even some talk of the international court deciding the issue.
Sir Charles Lytton : I'll tell you what, why don't I steal the diamond, leave that old glove or whatever it is behind, and you and I can split the insurance.
Princess Dala : All right.
George Lytton : I feel like dancing.
[to Princess Dala]
George Lytton : Your Highness?
Princess Dala : I'd love to.
Sir Charles Lytton : [to Simone] How about you, Madame?
Simone Clouseau : Yes, of course.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Your leg is better, Sir. Charles?
Sir Charles Lytton : What?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : I say your leg is better.
Sir Charles Lytton : Oh, yes. Much better. Thank you.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : You know, Mr. Tucker...
[scalds his hand]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Argh!
[put his burnt hand into Mr. Tucker's beer]
Tucker : That's my beer, old man.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : I am willing to bet you ten thousand francs, that the phantom is in Cortina at this very moment. Even, perhaps, in this very room.
Simone Clouseau : How exciting. What do you think, Mr. Tucker?
Tucker : Oh, I agree with the inspector. You see, Ten of his last fifteen victims have been guests at Angela Dunning's parties.
Sir Charles Lytton : What are we all talking about?
Simone Clouseau : The notorious Phantom.
Princess Dala : I'm afraid I never heard of him.
Sir Charles Lytton : From the little I've read about him, he seems to be quite a fellow.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Believe me. There are few thieves who are as clever as the Phantom. Each theft is completely different and unique, classic in its conception.
George Lytton : I thought you were working on the theory that he does repeat himself.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Well, only as far as Angela Dunning's parties are concerned. However, there is one other duplication, but that is his ah... trademark, his calling card, so to speak. He always leaves a white monogrammed glove.
Princess Dala : Sounds terribly theatrical.
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Tucker : Your Highness, if I were the Phantom, I'd have chosen my victim already.
Princess Dala : Really? And who would that be?
Tucker : Well, who owns the most fabulous diamond in the world?
Princess Dala : I suppose I do.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Exactly. The Pink Panther. Such a prize he could never resist. He would be bound to try for it.
Princess Dala : I'm afraid he'd be disappointed. The Pink Panther is in my safe, at...
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : [interrupting] Your Highness, please. Don't say it, not here.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : What kind of candle is zis?
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Hello, old bean. Your company insures the Pink Panther.
Tucker : Yes, for half a million.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Pounds?
Tucker : Sterling.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : lf my little pigeon wants a glass of milk, she shall have one!
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : ln a strange way, you know, one has to admire this man, he's, eh, how would you say? a unique flair for the dramatic. He actually waved goodbye to me.
Hotel Manager : Fascinating.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : But this time, gentlemen, l shall be waving goodbye to him - on his way to prison.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : My darling. Oh, my darling, don't move, don't panic. All that has happened is that my hat has caught in one of your naughty little hairpins. Voila.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : There are some very strange things going on here.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Darling. l'm so sorry. l was trying to kiss your foot.
Simone Clouseau : That's all right, my dear.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Let me kiss your face.
Simone Clouseau : lt's all right.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : My darling. l'm sorry. Come here. That's it. Nice and comfortable on the bed there.
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : My darling, listen. Why don't l have a nice bath? And afterwards, we have our lovely warm bed.
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Tucker : [after Clouseau, having burned his hand on the fireplace hood, jams it into his tall beer mug] My beer, old man.
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : I'm sorry.
[He tries to pull his hand out but it's stuck]
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Inspector Jacques Clouseau : [chasing after the diamond thief] Come on, now! Faster! Faster!
[toots horn]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : What's the matter with you? Can't you drive this thing faster?
[toots horn]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Come on. I tell you, this is the road they've gone up.
[toots horn]
Inspector Jacques Clouseau : Don't argue with me. I'm telling you, I know where they've gone!