Son of Flubber (1962)

Keenan Wynn: Alonzo P. Hawk

Photos 

Quotes 

• Biff Hawk : Aw, pop. Don't take it so hard.

  Alonzo Hawk : I'm not crying, you blasted nitwit! It's these onions!

• Alonzo Hawk : [to Biff]  Why, if you weren't deductible, I'd disown you!

• Professor Ned Brainard : [speaking to Daggett about his meeting at Washington]  Things aren't quite as simple as I hoped they'd be.

  Alonzo Hawk : So they gave you the old dipsy-do, huh? They really sandbagged you. They hung your hide up on the barn door to dry.

  President Rufus Daggett : Professor, am I to assume something has gone amiss?

  Professor Ned Brainard : Well...

  President Rufus Daggett : But I thought they were delighted with your discovery.

  Professor Ned Brainard : Oh, they are. It's just... Well, it's a little hard to explain.

  Alonzo Hawk : May I?

  [walks up to Brainard and Daggett] 

  Alonzo Hawk : Allow me to boil it down for you gentlemen, and you'll be sure if I get it straight?

  [to Brainard] 

  Alonzo Hawk : Number one: the boys in Washington latched onto your little discovery so you can't sell it anywhere else.

  [Brainard nods slowly] 

  Alonzo Hawk : Number two: they're not about to give you any money until they think it over. Number three: meantime, you've got no money. How am I doing?

  [Brainard nods again] 

  Alonzo Hawk : Number four: somebody'd better lay 350,000 clams on the barrel-head, first of the month by 9AM, to pay off the short-term loan made to this college by the Auld Lang Syne Insurance and Loan Company, or else, exactly at 9:03, a fleet of bulldozers owned by the Auld Lang Syne Demolition and Wrecking Company will start rolling through those hallowed gates and start flattening these ivy-covered walls in all directions. Period! End of story! Very sad. But, uh, personally, I'm crazy about it.

  [chuckles] 

  President Rufus Daggett : I can't believe you'd do a thing like that, Mr. Hawk.

  Alonzo Hawk : Oh, you can't?

  President Rufus Daggett : No.

  Alonzo Hawk : Well, boys, it looks like I'm calling the tune again. Anybody care to dance?

• [as glass shatters around his office, and elsewhere in town, Alonzo Hawk is talking to various people on several phones at the same time] 

  Alonzo Hawk : Look, if the glass broke, it was probably negligence. And the Auld Lang Syne does not pay off on negligence, friend! And that goes for all of you!