The Magnificent Cuckold (1964)

Ugo Tognazzi: Andrea Artusi

Photos 

Quotes 

• Andrea Artusi : What a wife I've got! So beautiful.

  [short kiss, long kiss] 

  Maria Grazia : Luckily I haven't put lipstick on yet.

  Andrea Artusi : Unfortunately you already put your dress on.

• Andrea Artusi : Maria has great taste. She married me, after all.

• Andrea Artusi : A hat's a man's wine cork , the roof of his personality.

• Maria Grazia : Do you think my neckline is too deep?

  Andrea Artusi : No, I think it's beautiful. Let everyone enjoy it. One shouldn't be selfish. At least your young. Unlike the old Baroness with a neckline down to her waist.

  Maria Grazia : You're exaggerating! Her décolleté is just where the bosom is.

  Andrea Artusi : Exactly! Whereas yours...

  [grabs her bosoms] 

  Andrea Artusi : Poor baroness.

• Cristiana : Isn't this better? Now we can watch them without being watched.

  Andrea Artusi : You prefer watching to being watched?

• Andrea Artusi : If you give me an apron, I'll be the perfect waitress.

• The Club President : I'll take your wife, then.

  Andrea Artusi : As long as you give her back, President. She is the only one I've got.

• Andrea Artusi : No bra, am I correct?

  The Club President : No bra.

• Andrea Artusi : Go there. You'll appreciate it. We go crazy at times just to catch a glimpse of a thigh here, but in Paris women walk completely naked all the time. Go to Paris. Go.

• Maria Grazia : You ought to know that beautiful women get whatever they want.

  Andrea Artusi : You ought to know that the husbands of beautiful women can get pretty pissed off.

• Andrea Artusi : It's my fault. I gave you too much freedom. They do the right thing in the East - wives locked up and guarded by eunuchs.

  Maria Grazia : Well, if you need the scissors, they're in the drawer in the bureau!

• Andrea Artusi : It's weird, but I feel like I got a load off my back. When a blind man regains his sight, he's happy to see, no matter what he sees.

• Andrea Artusi : People can come to terms with anything, even death. But those who have missing relatives - wait forever.

• Andrea Artusi : So, it's not true. it's true that it's not true. I'm an idiot.

• Andrea Artusi : I've learned my lesson. Trust is everything in marriage.