Batman: The Movie (1966)
Stafford Repp: Chief O'Hara
Photos
Quotes
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Commissioner Gordon : It could be any one of them. But which one? Which ones?
Batman : Pretty *fishy* what happened to me on that ladder.
Commissioner Gordon : You mean where there's a fish there could be a Penguin?
Robin : But wait! It happened at sea. See? C for Catwoman!
Batman : Yet, an exploding shark *was* pulling my leg...
Commissioner Gordon : The Joker!
Chief O'Hara : All adds up to a sinister riddle. Riddle-R. Riddler!
Commissioner Gordon : Oh, the thought strikes me. So dreadful, I scarcely dare give it utterance.
Batman : The four of them. Their forces combined.
Robin : Holy nightmare!
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Commissioner Gordon : Penguin, Joker, Riddler... and Catwoman, too! The sum of the angles of that rectangle is too monstrous to contemplate!
Batman : We've been given the plainest warning. They're working together to take over...
Chief O'Hara : Take over *what*, Batman? Gotham City?
Batman : Any *two* of them would try that!
Commissioner Gordon : The whole country?
Batman : If it were three of them, I would say yes, but *four*? Their minimum objective must be... the *entire* world.
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Batman : Look at this pair of joking riddles.
Chief O'Hara : [reads] What does a turkey do when he flies upside down?
Robin : He gobbles up!
Chief O'Hara : Of course.
Batman : And, number two...
Commissioner Gordon : [reads] What weighs six ounces, sits in a tree and is very dangerous?
Robin : A sparrow with a machine gun!
Commissioner Gordon : Yes, of course.
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Miss Kitka : [to Batman] If you please, to take off the mask to give the better picture?
Commissioner Gordon : Great Scott! Batman take off his mask?
Chief O'Hara : The woman must be mad!
Batman : Please... Chief O'Hara... all of you. This young lady is a stranger to our shores. Her request is not unnatural, however, impossible to grant.
Miss Kitka : Impossible?
Batman : Indeed. If Robin and I were to remove our masks, the secret of our true identities would be revealed.
Commissioner Gordon : Completely destroying their value as ace crimefighters.
Chief O'Hara : Sure, ma'am. Not even Commisioner Gordon and meself know who they really are.
Robin : In fact, our own relatives we live with don't know.
Miss Kitka : But your so curious costumes...
Robin : Don't be put off by them, ma'am. Underneath this garb, we're perfectly ordinary Americans.
Miss Kitka : You are like the masked vigilantes in the Westerns, no?
Commissioner Gordon : Certainly not! Batman and Robin are fully deputized agents of the law.
Robin : Support your police! That's our message!
Batman : Well said, Robin... and no better way to end this press conference... thank you, and good day.
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Commissioner Gordon : A fine job, Batman. You allayed their fears magnificently.
Batman : What else could I have done, Commissioner? If I told the truth, panic will grip the city.
Chief O'Hara : The truth. Sure, and what is the truth?
Batman : A decoy. A strange anonymous warning that Commodore Schmidlapp is in danger, to lure me into a trap.
Commissioner Gordon : A fiendish attempt on Batman's life.
Chief O'Hara : You mean, when they were luring you to a watery grave, the commodore's yacht has been hijacked in some places?
Batman : Precisely.
Commissioner Gordon : And who behind it? Not a clue.
Batman : Tell me, Commissioner: What known supercriminals are at large just now?
Commissioner Gordon : I'll check at once, Batman. Bonnie, let's have the latest status report on supercriminals still at large.
Bonnie : Yes, Commissioner.
Commissioner Gordon : Thank you, Bonnie. Coming up, Batman, on the closed-circuit TV screen. Come over here.
[the quartet move to the closed-circuit TV screen on the wall]
Closed Circuit TV Screen : Status report. Known supercriminals not currently imprisoned.
Batman : The Penguin.
Commissioner Gordon : That pompous, waddling master of foul play, maestro a million criminal umbrellas.
Robin : The Joker.
Chief O'Hara : Devilish clown prince of crime! Oh, if I only had a nickel for every time he's baffled us!
Commissioner Gordon : What, the Riddler loose too?
Batman : So it seems. Loose to plague us with his criminal conundrums.
Robin : Gosh! And the Catwoman!
Closed Circuit TV Screen : End of status report.