The Carol Burnett Show (TV Series 1967–1978) Poster

(1967–1978)

Vicki Lawrence: Various Characters, Self

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Carol Burnett, William Conrad, and Vicki Lawrence in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Carol Burnett, Harvey Korman, and Vicki Lawrence in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, John Davidson, and Vicki Lawrence in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence, and Chita Rivera in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Carol Burnett, Harvey Korman, and Vicki Lawrence in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Carol Burnett, Tim Conway, and Vicki Lawrence in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Harvey Korman and Vicki Lawrence in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Vincent Price and Vicki Lawrence in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Vicki Lawrence in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence, and Jessica Walter in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence, and The Ernie Flatt Dancers in The Carol Burnett Show (1967) Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence, and The Ernie Flatt Dancers in The Carol Burnett Show (1967)

Quotes 

  • as Thelma "Mama" Harper : You ain't playing with a full deck, Eunice. I think somebody blew your pilot light out!

    Carol Bradford : Oh, boy. That's a new one, Mama!

    as Thelma "Mama" Harper : You wait, there's more, Eunice!

    Carol Bradford : Oh, no!

    as Thelma "Mama" Harper : You know what? You've got splinters in the windmills of your mind! You're playing hockey with a warped puck!

  • Mickey Hart : I was at this freak show one time and I saw these Siamese elephants.

    Mickey Hart : [Audience is in hysterics, and Burnett, Lawrence, Conway and Van Dyke are trying but failing to stay in character. Just as Burnett is almost able to continue the sketch he starts again and she is visibly thrown off]  They was joined at the trunk like that. And their trainer would make them stand up on their back feet like that, and they'd have their trunks stretched out like that. Then this little monkey would come out...

    Mickey Hart : [Burnett is desperately trying not to laugh]  Walk out there and dance the merengue out there. I kind of felt sorry for them, they couldn't go like the other elephants when they go 'PHRRRRR!' All they could do is just blow and go 'FSNORKN!'

    [the others are desperately trying to stay in character] 

    Mickey Hart : One would sneeze, the other's eyes would get real big!

    Eunice : [Burnett's a complete mess by this point but tries to move it along]  Go on, Mama.

    as Thelma "Mama" Harper : [In character]  You sure that little asshole's through?

    [Total chaos erupts with the audience and all the players cracking up laughing] 

  • Reginald : [To Gwendolyn]  Now listen to me, you little fool. As far as everyone is concerned, father's death was purely...

    Ms. Marble : [Ms. Marble in the background]  Murder!

    Reginald : [Nervous]  Murder? Murder, you say?

    Ms. Marble : [Comes into the living room]  Murder, murder, murder. Bloody, bloody murder.

    Gwendolyn : You mean to say our father was murdered?

    Ms. Marble : No, I mean to say my girdle is killing me.

    Reginald : Ms. Marble, I really must insist you stop snooping around. I simply will not tolerate a busybody.

    Ms. Marble : Busybody? Busybody, you say? My body hasn't been busy in over 40 years.

  • as Thelma "Mama" Harper : [in an outtake of the "Sorry!" sketch]  You are really nuts, you know it? One of these days they're gonna come over here and just lock you up.

    Eunice : You lay off of me!

    as Thelma "Mama" Harper : You aren't playing with a full deck Eunice. I think you done sprung a leak in your dinghy. What is the problem Eunice, is it your time of month or something, you riding the cotton pony?

    as Thelma "Mama" Harper : [Audience erupts into laughter, and Eunice is obviously thrown off guard]  Look at me Eunice!

    [grabs her arm and tries to make Eunice look at her] 

    Eunice : [completely unable to control her cracking up]  Oh, please!

    Eunice : [finally regaining her composure but still reeling]  You got any more of those Mama, you better say 'em now.

  • Hallaba : You're going to be bitten by a verevolf.

    Mrs. Cunningham : A verevolf?

    [Screams] 

    Hallaba : Yes. Bevare the volfman will bite you tonight. Oy, are you gonna get it.

    Mrs. Cunningham : Oh, no! Is a verevolf bite painful?

    Hallaba : It's about the same as the bite from a wampire.

  • Gwendolyn : For you had the perfect motive for doing away with father. I know about your gambling debts!

    Reginald : Just as I know about that nasty little habit you picked up in the Orient. Eh, sister dear.

    Gwendolyn : [Gasps]  No, please don't! You have no idea what hell its been. Kumkwaits have become so expensive. How could I have been so stupid, stupid, stupid?!

    Caruthers : [The butler, Caruthers, walks in]  You called, ma'am?

    Reginald : No, she didn't call Caruthers. She was discussing her kumkwaits.

    Reginald : Oh. Well, I'm a leg man myself.

  • Hallaba : [Is going to tell Mrs. Cunningham's fortune]  Your hands please. Your left hand shows your past. Your right hand shows your future.

    [Mrs. Cunningham gives her her right hand, but Hallaba slaps it away] 

    Hallaba : Give me your left hand. I want to look at your past. Ohhhh!

    [She covers her mouth, smiling] 

    Mrs. Cunningham : What is it? What do you see?

    Hallaba : Last night. Moshimomoshivo!

    Mrs. Cunningham : [Looks embarrassed]  What about the future?

    Hallaba : [Looks at her left hand]  Ohhhh! You're a dead duck!

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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