- [Jeepers has fallen into an empty grave]
- Woody Wetherby: What are you doin' down there?
- Jeepers: Well, I ain't lookin' for new talent.
- [first lines]
- [Boots, Woody and Jeepers blunder into a shootout between lawmen and enemy agents]
- Deputy Sheriff: [to one of the spies] Drop it!
- Sheriff: [to the entertainers] It's OK. Sorry you got caught in the middle.
- Woody Wetherby: What's goin' on?
- Sheriff: Spies.
- Jeepers: Spies?
- Sheriff: That's right--over in Acme City and in these hills. They're all over the place.
- [Boots screams when she sees a gorilla, which disappears before Woody and Jeepers turn around]
- Boots Malone: It could have been my imagination.
- Jeepers: Boy, between the three of us, there's sure a lot of imaginatin' goin' on.
- [looking at a gorgeous woman on the viewscreen]
- Gregor: Who are you?
- Agent Ming Toy: Agent Ming Toy: 38-24-36.
- Woody Wetherby: You awake?
- Jeepers: I'm awake. How do you expect me to sleep with you roamin' around half the night?
- Woody Wetherby: Sorry about that, Chief.
- Jeepers: Boots! Boots!
- Woody Wetherby: Where are you, Boots? Check the closet. Anything in there?
- Jeepers: Nothing but a weirdwolf... A weirdwolf!
- [Jeepers and Woody flee]
- Agent Jim Meadows: Have you ever heard of M.O.T.H.E.R.?
- Jeepers: M.O.T.H.E.R.? Hey, that spells "mother."
- Woody Wetherby: I know "Mother MacCree" and some other songs about "mother."
- Agent Jim Meadows: "M.O.T.H.E.R." is "Master Organization to Halt Enemy Resistance."