The Reluctant Astronaut (1967)

Don Knotts: Roy Fleming

Photos 

Quotes 

• Donelli : [hands Roy a broom]  Here you are. Now in the mornings you sweep all locker area and boiler room. In the afternoons, you wet down and mop. Now the top of the lockers should be kept - clean at all times. They'll be inspected by me personally daily at 1700 hours. Now in the morning when you...

  Roy Fleming : Excuse me sir, uh, is this all sorta like, uh, part of the training program?

  Donelli : What training program?

  Roy Fleming : You know... whoosh!

  [imitates a rocket] 

  Roy Fleming : Space.

  Donelli : This is your space: from there, to there, and I expect you to keep it clean Fleming! Now then...

  Roy Fleming : You mean, I-I-I'm a, I'm a janitor?

  Donelli : [laughs]  Why of course not! My boy, you are a WB-1074 *apprentice* janitor.

• Roy Fleming : Why is Pa always trying to run my life?

  Mrs. Fleming : Well, after all, he was a corporal in World War I, and you know how bossy they were.

  Roy Fleming : But, Ma, that war's been over for ages.

  Mrs. Fleming : Not to your father. He loves that war just as much today as he did then.

• Roy Fleming : [searching his suit jacket pocket for his airplane ticket]  I don't have my ticket!

  Mrs. Fleming : You haven't got your ticket?

  [fumbles in her purse] 

  Mrs. Fleming : Oh, here - here it is.

  Roy Fleming : I was kinda hopin' it was lost.

  Mrs. Fleming : Well, maybe you can tell the pilot not to drive too high?

• Roy Fleming : [as Mr. Spaceman, operating the Rocket Ride]  We are now passing over the Hawaiian Islands. Our flight plan will carry us to the recovery area 100 miles southeast of the Bahamas. We are starting our retro-rocket countdown: five, four, three, two, one, firing retro rockets!

  [presses button making rocket sound] 

  Roy Fleming : We will be touching down in twenty minutes.

  Mary : [whispering]  I have to go to the bathroom.

  Roy Fleming : We have just touched down!

• Donelli : Fleming, you've been here two weeks now, and I don't think your mind has been on your work for one second!

  Roy Fleming : Uh, um, well to tell you the truth, sir, my heart really isn't in this.

  Donelli : We are not interested in your heart, Fleming! We want your elbow grease!

• Roy Fleming : [kisses Ellie at the airport in front of everyone]  Just good friends, Ma.

• [first lines] 

  Roy Fleming : Gemini to ground control. Reading you loud and clear. Lift off - smooth. Ready for checklist. Fuel is go. 1.2G Cabin. 14 PSI. Oxygen is go. Telemetry is go. All systems: go.

• Roy Fleming : Beauty is as beauty does.

  Ellie Jackson : You've got that look in your eye again.

  Roy Fleming : What look?

  Ellie Jackson : That crazy Bassett hound look.

  Roy Fleming : Flattery will get you everywhere.

• Roy Fleming : How everything in the soft drink game?

• Roy Fleming : Oh, I had a little trouble with my underwear.

• Ellie Jackson : You look like they've been treating you pretty well.

  Roy Fleming : Oh, I've been wearin' suede shoes and eatin' Chow Mein every night!

• Plank : What about them stimulators?

  Roy Fleming : No, Plank. Not stimulators. It's simulators.

• Roy Fleming : Don't worry about me, Pa. This body is a finely tuned space instrument.

• Roy Fleming : If you put 'er on the pad, boys, I'll take 'er up. Get me another beer bartender!

• Roy Fleming : [after several boilermakers]  Hey bartender another beer! Would you like another little drinkie?

  Blonde in Bar : No thank you. I have had an elegant sufficiency.

  Roy Fleming : You're a high school grad, aren't ya?

  Blonde in Bar : Of course.

  Roy Fleming : Do you happen to know with whom you happen to be with?

  Blonde in Bar : Whom?

  Roy Fleming : Exactly.

• Roy Fleming : Well, look, do you think for one minute that in a highly classified place like this you can believe everything you read?

• [seeing the rocket for the first time] 

  Roy Fleming : Holy Toledo!

• [hanging out of the capsule, during the final countdown] 

  Roy Fleming : Not yet! I'm not in!