Hilfe, ich liebe Zwillinge (1969)

Ernst Stankovski: Ziborius

Quotes 

• Onkel Fritz : [disguised as the female teacher Mrs. Darling]  Excuse me, where is the hotel management school.

  Ziborius : Over there. I'm the principal.

  Onkel Fritz : So the way leads me to you.

  Ziborius : Ziborius.

  Onkel Fritz : Darling.

  Ziborius : Excuse me, do we know each other from earlier?

  Onkel Fritz : Unfortunately no.

  Ziborius : But dear lady said 'Darling'.

  Onkel Fritz : Oh, what unfortunate missunderstanding. My dear name is 'Darling'.

  Ziborius : Ah, Darling, the new cooking teacher. Hello. Kiss your hand. Are you doing well again?

  Onkel Fritz : By no means. I'm my niece. I mean my sister. I mean my sister cabled me that she is not doing well and she sent me here, because we can't leave you alone with the cooking classes.

• Ziborius : Zipfl, has the new teacher arrived?

  Hieronymus Zipfl : Pardon me, who?

  Ziborius : The cooking teacher. The classes will began tomorrow. I don't understand. Wasn't there a phone call for me?

  Hieronymus Zipfl : Not a phone, telegram.

  Ziborius : Well?

  Hieronymus Zipfl : Tomorrow.

  Ziborius : Tomorrow? How do you know it?

  Hieronymus Zipfl : Because already here.

  Ziborius : I thought tomorrow.

  Hieronymus Zipfl : Well, yesterday tomorrow.

  Ziborius : And you want to give it to me only today, Zipfl?

• Ziborius : Zipfl, I knew that you are simple. But you aren't simple, you are stupid.