Are You Being Served? (1972–1985)
Frank Thornton: Captain Peacock, Stephen Peacock
Photos
Quotes
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Miss Brahms : Well if England's a such good country you've cracked it up to be. How come then we've got strikes & inflation. Mmm? So what's so good about England then?
Captain Peacock : I shall tell you what is so good about England Miss Brahms. It is the only country in the world that isn't semi-detached.
[referring to Miss Brahms's house]
Captain Peacock : .
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Mrs. Slocombe : [into phone] Yes.
[pause]
Mrs. Slocombe : Yes.
[pause]
Mrs. Slocombe : I will.
[hangs up phone]
Mrs. Slocombe : Captain Peacock?
Captain Peacock : Yes?
Mrs. Slocombe : Apparently Miss Belfridge is in one of the fitting rooms, and Mr. Rumbold requires her in his office.
Miss Brahms : She must have got in early!
Mrs. Slocombe : She's no right to be there without my permission.
Captain Peacock : Or mine. Get her out of there, Miss Brahms, I shall speak to her most severely about this.
Miss Brahms : [walks to fitting room] Here! Captain Peacock wants you out here, at the double.
Miss Belfridge : [walks out in outfit that is barely more than a bra and pantyhose, with Captain Peacock's eyes glued to her bust] You wanted to see me, Stephen?
Captain Peacock : You should really ask for my permission to be on the floor, but I'll overlook it this time.
Mrs. Slocombe : It's the only thing he has overlooked.
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[about a suggestion in the suggestion box]
Captain Peacock : This one is unsigned, and suggests that you do something physically impossible with the suggestion box.
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Captain Peacock : [Knocking on Mr. Rumbold's door] We're all outside, sir.
Mr. Rumbold : People who knock usually are!
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Mrs. Slocombe : Captain Peacock! Captain Peacock!
Captain Peacock : Mrs. Slocombe, you will return to your post. When I turn around, you will raise your arm. I will ask, "What is, Mrs. Slocombe?" You will ask me, "Are you free?" If I nod, you may then approach me.
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Mrs. Slocombe : Are you free, Captain Peacock?
Captain Peacock : [looks about him] At the moment.
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Captain Peacock : [walks up to the manageress] Did you notice that I was clicking my fingers, clearing my throat and banging my spoon on the table?
Canteen Manageress : I did notice it, yeah.
Captain Peacock : And what message do those actions convey to you?
Canteen Manageress : Well, when my two-year-old does it, it usually means he needs to go to the potty.
Captain Peacock : Your truculent behavior has not gone unnoticed and will be reported!
Canteen Manageress : Good! That's what I hoped. Then perhaps the management will realise that sacking my waiting staff is more trouble than it's worth because I ain't serving.
[pause]
Canteen Manageress : You'll have to make do with a set menu.
Captain Peacock : Well, then, may I ask you what is on this set menu, or are you not programmed to give an intelligent response?
