Columbo (TV Series)

The Most Crucial Game (1972)

Peter Falk: Columbo

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Quotes 

• Lt. Columbo : You know, when I'm listening to a game and my wife interrupts - I can't help myself - I want to hear that game, and I don't care how important the interruption.

  Paul Hanlon : [trying to hear a game himself]  Your wife has my sympathy.

• Lt. Columbo : Uh, sir?

  Walter Cunnell : Yes?

  Lt. Columbo : You don't mind if I ask you a personal question, do you?

  Walter Cunnell : No.

  Lt. Columbo : What'd you pay for those shoes?

• Lt. Columbo : I thought I had trouble with my TV when my wife used the hairdryer, so the electrician, he explained it to me. You find this boring?

• Eve Babcock : Hi, darling.

  Lt. Columbo : Miss Babcock?

  Eve Babcock : [laughs]  Don't be so Cincinnati. My name is Eve. And don't be so embarrassed. I've been expecting you.

• Lt. Columbo : You don't mind if I asked you a personal question, do you?

  Walter Cunnell : No.

  Lt. Columbo : What did you pay for those shoes?

  Walter Cunnell : I think about... $60.

  Lt. Columbo : I stepped into some water yesterday, I ruined mine. You don't know where I could get a pair that looks like that... for around 16 or 17?

  Walter Cunnell : 16 or 17? Sorry, I don't.

• Lt. Columbo : So, I have to thank my wife for one 'cause she's mad at everybody. She's even mad at the ice cream man. Why does the ice cream truck have to come just before lunch, just before dinner, ruining the child's appetite? I have to listen to that. I hear that three times a week. You know that's twelve times a month.

• Paul Hanlon : Columbo, are you in charge of this mess or not?

  Lt. Columbo : Sir...

  Paul Hanlon : This is...!

  Lt. Columbo : Sir, I'm only trying to solve a murder...

• Lt. Columbo : This is what bothers me: Why were you fired from that job after only three days? Because, if you don't mind my noticing, you'd be an ornament in any office.

• Lt. Columbo : You know, I had tickets for the game? Didn't even use 'em. Couldn't enjoy it. Till I find the answer, I can't think of anything else.

• Lt. Columbo : You're gonna work... do an autopsy, aren't you?

  Deputy Coroner : We have to, Lieutenant, it's routine. Remember? Or maybe you've forgotten.

• Lt. Columbo : Well, I do kind of wonder about the pool service. By any chance you don't happen to know... whether they come to the Wagner house on Sundays?

  Paul Hanlon : I don't know of any pool service who works on Sunday at all. Why?

  Lt. Columbo : Oh there was just this water around the pool decking.

  Paul Hanlon : Well, that's normal for there to be water around the pool, ain't there?

  Lt. Columbo : Yes, sir. But not fresh water. No chlorine in it.

• Lt. Columbo : And I thought maybe you'd want to be brought up to date. Like that autopsy report. I just got it on the phone. Incidentally you never asked me about that. I thought you would. I guess it slipped your mind.

  Paul Hanlon : No, it didn't slip my mind. It was nothing to ask about, Because there was nothing new, was there?

  Lt. Columbo : No, sir. There wasn't.

• Paul Hanlon : Columbo I told you I called Eric from the box just before the game, I called him again from the box, about the end of the 1st quarter.

  Lt. Columbo : Unfortunately the telephone company's records can't prove that.

  Paul Hanlon : But that's not my problem, is it?

  Lt. Columbo : No, sir. That's my problem.

• Ralph Dobbs : Now wait a minute, officer. This isn't what it looks like!

  Lt. Columbo : It's all right. He won't have a gun. Just get his wallet.

  Ralph Dobbs : Thank you, sir.

  Lt. Columbo : Don't thank me. Thank that radio over there, huh? Well, what do you know! License and everything.

  Ralph Dobbs : Of course, I've got a license. My name is Ralph Dobbs. What do you mean "radio"?

  Lt. Columbo : Well, let me show you. Don't feel bad. Could happen to anybody. You see, some of these bugs have frequency leakage. If you don't put them in right, it affects the other electrical systems. That's what happened to you.

  Ralph Dobbs : Well, take it easy, will you? Those things are expensive.

  Lt. Columbo : Sorry, it won't happen again. Anyway, you put it in wrong, that's all. When you used the telephone, it effected the radio. I noticed the static. But don't feel bad. I didn't know anything about this myself. Till I had trouble on my TV when my wife used the hair dryer. So the electrician explained to me. Do you find this boring?

• Eve Babcock : Don't ask me any questions. I'm calling my attorney.

  Lt. Columbo : Wait a minute. No. Instead of doing that, why don't you do yourself a favor? Take this appointment book... and put it some place where I can't see it.

• Paul Hanlon : Columbo, I'm trying to watch this game! What is it?

  Lt. Columbo : You know you did the same thing the first time I came in here? Last Sunday. I guess that's what started me wondering.

  Paul Hanlon : I did what?

  Lt. Columbo : You turned the radio down, but not quite off. When I told you that Eric Wagner was dead. It's all right. I do the same thing. You know, when I'm listening to the game, My wife interrupts, I can't help myself. I wanna hear that game, And I don't care how important the interruption.

  Paul Hanlon : Your wife has my sympathy.

  Lt. Columbo : However, when I told you about the fresh water on the decking, when I told you that Eric Wagner might have been murdered, You know what you did? Turned the radio completely off. Well, I thought I'd struck a chord or something.

  Paul Hanlon : No, Columbo, you struck out. Now will you please go find somebody else to pester?

• Lt. Columbo : This is a murder case. There is no question about it.

  Paul Hanlon : Oh, look, you did it again. I guess you just can't help yourself.

• Lt. Columbo : I mean I came down here to get you because... I made a real wrong guess last night.

  Paul Hanlon : I think you made a few.

• Walter Cunnell : What is all this? Autopsy? Lab crews?

  Lt. Columbo : Well, just part of a routine murder investigation, sir. Excuse me.

  Walter Cunnell : Murder?