The Last House on the Left (1972)

Richard Towers: Dr. John Collingwood

Photos 

Quotes 

• Estelle Collingwood : Are you folks on vacation?

  Krug Stillo : No, we're sort of, um, on a business trip.

  Dr. John Collingwood : Well what sort of business are you in?

  Fred "Weasel" Podowski : Plumbing.

  Krug Stillo : Insurance.

  Estelle Collingwood : Well, which is it?

  Sadie : You see, we're actually in both. We sell insurance to plumbing companies. You know, in case they steal some toilets or something.

• Dr. John Collingwood : [looking at Mari's shirt]  Hey, no bra?

  Mari : Of course not! Nobody wears those anymore!

  Estelle Collingwood : Nobody except us drill sergeants.

  Dr. John Collingwood : Yeah, but look, Estelle. You can see her nipples as plain as day!

  Mari : Daddy, don't be so clinical!

  Dr. John Collingwood : But it's immodest!

  Mari : Then I'll get some sandpaper!

  Estelle Collingwood : [annoyed]  Look, young lady, when I was your age...

  Mari : When you were my age, you all wore brassieres that made your tits stick out like torpedoes or something.

  Dr. John Collingwood : Tits! What's this "tits" business? Sounds like I'm back in the barracks.

  Mari : Alright, then - mammary glands! They used to tie them up like little lunatics in straightjackets, and they stuffed socks in their bras.

  Estelle Collingwood : Mari!

  Mari : You told me that yourself, Mother.

  Estelle Collingwood : If God had meant women to go around with their bust exposed, Mari Collingwood, He wouldn't have given us clothes!

• Dr. John Collingwood : You call the repair service?

  Estelle Collingwood : Mmhmmm.

  Dr. John Collingwood : Well did you tell them I was a physician and had to have a phone?

  Estelle Collingwood : No, actually I told them you were an international bookie, and I was ten-months pregnant with quintuplets!

• Krug Stillo : Are you sure we're not going to put you folks to any trouble?

  Dr. John Collingwood : Oh, nonsense! Our home is yours.