- White woman: [talking about his penis] Oh my God! Mr. Jonathan, it IS bigger and better!
- Mr. Wilson: [about to rape a gay hairdresser with a curling iron] I'm gonna give you the thrill of your lifetime, you fuckin' little faggot!
- Mr. Jonathan: [to the mother of teenage girls who try to seduce him] Exactly what kind of funny farm are you are you runnin' here?
- Artie: [describing a female customer] That bitch! She pinched my chin, honey, and she didn't even tip me!