Oh, God! (1977)
John Denver: Jerry Landers
Photos
Quotes
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Jerry Landers : How can you permit all the *suffering* that goes on the world?
God : Ah, how can *I* permit the suffering?
Jerry Landers : Yeah!
God : I don't permit the suffering. You do! Free will. All the choices are yours.
Jerry Landers : Choices? What choices?
God : You can love each other, cherish and nurture each other or you can kill each other. Incidentally, "kill" is the word. It's not "waste." If I meant "waste" I would have written "thou shalt not waste." You're doing some very funny things with words, here. You're also turning the sky into mud. I look down, I can't believe the filth. Using the rivers for toilets, poisoning my fishes. You want a miracle? *You* make a fish from scratch. You can't. You think only God can make a tree? Try coming up with a mackerel. And when the last one is gone, that'll be that. Eighty-six on the fishes, goodbye sky, so long world, over and out.
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Jerry Landers : You don't control our lives?
God : I gave you a world and everything in it. Its all up to you.
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[last lines]
Jerry Landers : Uh, sometimes, uh, now and then, couldn't we just talk?
God : I'll tell you what. You talk, I'll listen.
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Jerry Landers : [God is riding with Jerry in Jerry's car] Now, see, you know a lot of things and you've been making a lot of things happen, but none of it seems...
God : God-like?
Jerry Landers : Yeah, God-like.
God : And what to you would be God-like?
Jerry Landers : Uh... Change the weather.
God : Ah, special effects, huh? What would you like? A little earthquake? A small hurricane?
Jerry Landers : No, no. I wouldn't want anybody hurt. I was just thinking maybe, uh... What about a little rain?
God : A little rain?
Jerry Landers : Yeah, a small shower.
God : One small shower. You got it.
[Rain begins falling]
Jerry Landers : Hey. Hey, it's rainin'! You made it rain! You didn't even bat an eye! You didn't have to lift a finger!
God : Rain's not that hard.
Jerry Landers : It's unbelievable!
God : Would you like it to rain a little harder?
Jerry Landers : No, no. This is fine.
God : How about bigger drops?
Jerry Landers : No! This is fine! Fine!
God : Would you care for a little snow?
Jerry Landers : I don't believe it. Hey! Hey! It's not raining outside. It's just in here!
God : Why should I spoil everybody's day?
Jerry Landers : This is fantastic!
God : Thank you.
Jerry Landers : It's just like Noah's Ark!
God : Same thing. Without the smell.
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Jerry Landers : But when you said... when you said everything would work out, uh, I thought you could tell the future.
God : Absolutely, I could tell the future, the minute it becomes the past. I said, everything could work out, if that's everybody's choice. People have to decide on their own what's to be done with the world. I can't make a personal decision for everybody.
God : [Jerry looks a little downcast] Why the face? So far, so good. We hit the papers, a little TV, we're in business.
Jerry Landers : You know, I'm liable to lose my job.
God : Lose a job, save a world. Not a bad deal.
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Jerry Landers : I don't even go to any church!
God : Neither do I.
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Jerry Landers : Why me?
God : Why not you?
Jerry Landers : You mean there's no special...
God : Life is a crap shoot, like the millionth customer that crosses the bridge gets to shake hands with the governor. You thought I picked you because you're better than everyone?
Jerry Landers : I'm not?
God : You're better than some but not as good as others, but you crossed the bridge at the right time.
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Jerry Landers : You're here? In my bathroom?
God : Come take a look.
Jerry Landers : I can't. I'm naked.
God : You think I don't know what you got?
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Jerry Landers : Is it going to get any worse?
God : How should you know?
Jerry Landers : What do you mean, how should you know?
God : How could I know?
Jerry Landers : Why, you know everything!
God : I only know what is. Also, I'm very big on what was. Now, what isn't yet? I haven't got a clue.
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God : Man and women, persons, their existence means exactly and precisely, not more, not one tiny bit less, just what they think it means and what I think, doesn't count at all.
Jerry Landers : That's very profound.
God : Sometimes I get lucky.
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God : Well, I better be going.
Jerry Landers : Aren't you coming back?
God : No.
Jerry Landers : Ever?
God : Whatever comes. We'll see.
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God : Jerry? Do you want me to talk louder?
Jerry Landers : Oh, God!
God : I thought you didn't believe in me?
Jerry Landers : That's just an expression.
God : I'm more than that.
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Bobbie Landers : Alright, let's say for a minute that you saw God.
Jerry Landers : Look, don't humor me. Or that'll really make me crazy.
Bobbie Landers : Okay! Okay, you saw him! But, why is he talking to you?
Jerry Landers : Well, why not me?
Bobbie Landers : Well, why not the Pope or Billy Graham or somebody way up there?
Jerry Landers : Because he doesn't care about religion!
Bobbie Landers : God doesn't care about religion, right?
Jerry Landers : Well, that's what he said!
Bobbie Landers : Well, he sure picked a funny business to go into, didn't he!
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Jerry Landers : Everybody thinks I'm a nut.
God : Galileo. Pasteur. Einstein. Columbus. You're in good company. Hold on.
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Jerry Landers : People are always praying to You. Do You listen?
God : I can't help hearing. I don't always listen.
Jerry Landers : So then You don't care.
God : Of course I care! But what can I do?
Jerry Landers : What can You do? You're God!
God : Only for the big picture. I don't get into details.
Jerry Landers : Whatever happens to us...
God : Happens!
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Jerry Landers : You know, I'm, I'm liable to lose my job.
God : Lose a job, save a world. Not a bad deal.
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Jerry Landers : There's no plan? No scheme - to guide our destinies? A lot of it is luck.
God : A lot of it is luck.
Jerry Landers : Luck! Just luck?
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Jerry Landers : You don't care!
God : I do care.
Jerry Landers : But, then, do something about it!
God : I did. I got you to carry the ball.
Jerry Landers : [looks down] I got no ball!
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God : What was that last question?
Jerry Landers : Ah? "Will there - "
God : "Will there be a Judgement Day for Man?" Well, if they mean a doomsday, an end of the world thing, I'm certainly not going to get into that! But, if you want my personal opinion, I wouldn't look forward to it. They'll be a lot of yelling and screaming and I don't need that anymore than you do.
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Dinah Shore : You're not nervous, are you?
Jerry Landers : No.
Dinah Shore : Well, I don't mind tellin' you, I am. You have some - pretty powerful friends.
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Dinah Shore : Why do you suppose he picked you, Jerry?
Jerry Landers : God only knows.
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Bobbie Landers : Jerry, what are you going to do about Mr. Summers?
Jerry Landers : What can I do? What do you want me to do?
Bobbie Landers : I want you to say no more about it, like he said not to!
Jerry Landers : Bobbie, Mr. Summers represents Food World. God is with "World" World! It's a slightly bigger obligation.
Bobbie Landers : Bigger than your job?
Jerry Landers : I have no choice! That's the problem!
Bobbie Landers : The problem is, you do! How far do you intend to take this? I mean, how long is this gonna' go on?
Jerry Landers : Until everyone gets the message! Until I can convince people of this miracle - I mean, that's what it is, you know - it's a miracle! Nothing less! And I've gotta' reach the greatest number of people possible and tell them about it.
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Jerry Landers : I'm not a nut.
Briggs : Oh, I didn't say that you were.
Jerry Landers : I'm not even religious.
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Bobbie Landers : Jerry, I don't want the kids on TV.
Jerry Landers : Can't be any worse than watching it.
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George Summers : What is this seein' God crap all about?
Jerry Landers : Well, it's not crap, Mr. Summers. I've seen him.
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God : [Looking at the questions on paper] Ah, pretty cute.
Jerry Landers : What is it?
God : They made sure you couldn't answer. The questions are in the ancient tongue of Aramaic.
Jerry Landers : Is that what that is?
God : They've figured out so many ways to talk to each other, that finally nobody can
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Jerry Landers : Bobbie, don't let it get to you.
Bobbie Landers : Don't let it get to me? Don't let it get to me? Jerry, it's got to me!
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Jerry Landers : But, we need help.
God : That's why I gave you each other.
